ENTP & co. conversations that sound like shitposts

anyone saying "this is out of character" most of this shit actually happened so like either cry somewhere else or click unfollow

[mbti-irl]

ENTP: I hate the whole gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss bullshit, because somehow when I set things on fire I'm "doing gaslighting wrong"

[mbti-irl]

ESFJ: hey guys, got an important work presentation, do I look good?

ENTP, not bothering to look up: you look the same as usual

ESFJ: Ok, fuck you, anyone else?

ENTP: ok but they have to sit and pay attention to you regardless of how you look so why make it easier for them, let them suffer

ESFJ: Rude! But I'll let it slide because I do enjoy where you're coming from.

ESFJ: ...

ESFJ: Ok no but seriously can someone tell me if this shade of lipstick works

[mbti-irl]

ENTP on a zoom meeting: *changes display nickname to reflect the funniest thing that was said recently*

[mbti-irl]

ENTP: here I have this hot take-

Everyone in close vicinity, immediately: NO

ENTP: wait why what's wrong

ENTJ: last time you had a hot take you claimed that triangles are a social construct

INTJ: the time before that you wondered what dipping your hand in nuclear waste would be like

ISTP: I would now like to hear both these hot takes

ENTP: ok so-

ENTJ, screeching: dONT enCOURAge hER-

[mbti-irl]

ENTP: ffs Christmas music why is that shit everywhere it's NOVEMBER can y'all wait until like Dec 16th or so

INTP: yeah Christmas starts on Black Friday

ESFP: asddgjkl guys why d'y'all hate Xmas so much

[mbti-irl]

ENTJ: *unsuccessfully trying to rationalise their way out of having an emotional crisis*

ENTP: *trying to help with the emotional crisis because problem solving instinct is on in full force and also free drama updates*

ENTJ: hey, you would tell me if you were going through something similar right?

ENTP: *having undergone a smaller version of the emotional crisis a few days ago* absolutely not lmao

[mbti-irl]

INTP: sorry I'm late

INTP: got distracted reading fanfiction and forgot

[mbti-irl]

ENTP: hey hey hey imagine turning up to a job interview and the interviewer has screenshots from this chat

INTJ: this thought haunts me every day

[mbti-irl]

ENTJ: I worry that everyone else is going to do so well

ENTJ: Except me.

ENTP: wait hold up

ENTP: why the fuck do you think you're special???

[mbti-irl]

ENTP: *banging on the door of the house* let me innnn

ESFJ, through the closed door: what did you forget this time

ENTP: i fORGOT mY aPRICOT :( :( :(

[mbti-irl]

ENTP: I want a flamethrower disguised as a fire extinguisher because irony

ESTJ: Just leave them in a few places instead of real fire extinguishers and don't tell anyone

ENTP: well yeah, so that when people try to use them they'll just assume they're doing it wrong

ENTP: like oh there's a fire? Did you mean there's not enough fire?

ESTJ: surely that is what they mean by fight fire with fire, right

[mbti-irl]

INTP: first I made this meme, then I made another meme, so long story short I spent 2 hours accidentally making a meme card game

INTP: no regrets though

[mbti-irl]

INTJ: why are there blank boxes in this woman's lecture notes

ENTP: I think she wants us to fill them in

INTJ: excuse me, are you telling me I have to do work to pass this course???

[mbti-irl]

ENTP: hot take, give the southern states back to Mexico

ESFJ: Mexico extension

INTP: Mextension

ENTP: #make Mexico great again

[mbti-irl]

ENTP: my rational brain tells me that's icing sugar while my lizard brain is yelling cOcAiNE

[mbti-irl]

ENTP: firefighter has 3 syllables

ESFP: no? It's 4? Fi-er-figh-ter

ENTP: who tf says fi-er it's fire

ESFP: I just asked the person sitting next to me on the train, it's 4

ENTP: they're wrong? That's not how I say it???

ISTJ: *quietly googles it*

[mbti-irl]

ESTJ: I think we should discuss the Libra as it's the closest thing we will get to a global online currency

ENTJ: cloud based currency pegged on the dollar machine go mmmrrrr mmrrrr