i’m so grateful for the people who don’t give up on me and are patient with me while i’m distant and trying to figure myself out

Love Begins

Andulka
Three Goblin Art
we're not kids anymore.

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

ellievsbear
d e v o n

PR's Tumblrdome

@theartofmadeline
noise dept.

Janaina Medeiros
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

⁂

Product Placement

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
tumblr dot com
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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@mccoy-damnit-bones
i’m so grateful for the people who don’t give up on me and are patient with me while i’m distant and trying to figure myself out
Seems like I finally managed to get back on here after more shit went down in my real life. I've been thinking about what I want to do with this blog, and I'm honestly not sure. I'd love to say I want to carry on roleplaying here, especially since Bones will always be my big love in the star trek universe, but I feel like I'll probably abandon this blog over and over due to my current real life stress. Namely being me having been kicked out of school, told that I'm a worthless fuck, and being needed to find a job real quick now. Does anyone here still want to... well, put up with my bullshit? Play with me, even if I've got the worst activity on this goddamn planet? I'm not fishing for compliments or "omg u poor thing"-like comments. I'm genuinely asking you guys, if you'd still want to RP with me, even if I just vanished for months on end without a single notice again. If not, well... then I'll probably delete this blog... Sorry, again, for the inconvenience...
Reblog for a creepy compliment in your ask.
The moon at 365,700KM taken with an 8" newtonian telescope
js
Danger inspired sentense memes:
"Only one of us is going to come out of this."
"What's wrong? Did you get hit?"
"Are they still after us?!"
"He/She won't get away with this."
"Pull the trigger already!"
"Don't pull the trigger!"
"Stay quiet and try not to be seen."
"You're going down."
"When are they going to make their move? The suspense is killing me."
"How do you intend to fight me when you don't know where I am?"
"Let him/her go!"
"You're under arrest."
"So what's your plan, genius?"
"Stay back or I'll ____ the _____!"
"Say goodbye to ____, you won't be seeing _____ again."
"This is all your fault!"
"I can't believe you dragged me into this."
"Let us go!"
"I'm not letting you out of here."
"You'll never take me alive!"
Continued from here [x]
Khan was glad that it had been that easy to drag the good doctor into his quarters, and to put a collar around his neck as well. The CMO hadn’t even said a word, had been a good boy, quiet and willing, even when the augment had ripped most of his clothing off. Only the pair of boxers remained on McCoy’s body, covering little of his appearance.
It meant that the other one wanted this as well, that he liked it how his captain acted around him now. Normally the man was able to be quite rough, to tell Khan when he didn’t like something, and he definitely would have done so if this was making him uncomfortable in any way. Still Khan was not one to rush into things - he needed to test out how far his new pet wanted to go.
Khan really didn’t want to make him feel miserable, or even used. No, he wouldn’t do that - only with Leonard’s consent.
He took his time before he walked back into his own quarters then, the man still kneeling in the ground as Khan had ordered him to do so. The captain was appreciating that McCoy had stayed, even though there had been enough time to just get up and leave. Another proof that he liked it just as much as Khan did.
“Good boy.”, Khan hummed as he stepped closer, in front of the other, let his hand trail through the soft strands of hair, massaging the scalp with the tip of his fingers. Dominance was not only about hurting someone, about showing them who was in charge - it also was about comforting the pet, to make them feel safe and wanted. “I’m very happy you decided to stay. You could have left any time and I wouldn’t be angry at all. It is your decision after all - but now I know you want to be here as much as I want you to be here. It makes things easier, doesn’t it?”
The raven haired man let his fingers trail along McCoy’s forehead then, down to his cheekbones, touching the skin lightly. He brushed over the tip of the nose then, down to those soft lips, let his thumb trace the soft skin thoroughly.
mccoy-damnit-bones
Those words, the ones calling him a good boy, sent a shiver down the doctor’s spine as soon as they echoed through the room. For a brief second, Bones’ eyes closed, a shaking breath being sucked into his lungs. Engulfing himself into that, unknowingly, as he relished the moment itself. The aching of his knees or the little cold on his skin didn’t matter anymore, it seemed. Because now, finally, his Captain was back. His... what would he call him, anyways...?
There was no time to further think about that matter, though, as soon as he felt the brunet carting his fingers through the doctor’s soft locks. Felt his fingers massaging his scalp, causing Bones to practically press his head into the other’s palm. To encourage him further to continue the wonderful touches. And as he heard the continued talking, Leonard couldn’t resist the urge to open his eyes, and stare up at the man. It was... a different view from where he knelt on the ground. He felt smaller, definitely, and obviously. But also... wanted. Better. Easier and lighter. As if he wasn’t meant to worry about anyone and anything, as if he could simply let go.
And that was what this all was about, wasn’t it? Letting go of any restraints, and simply, blindly, follow orders. And enjoy the heat of the moment.
“Yes... Sir.” Sir? Was that right? Bones didn’t know. And for a split second, he actually feared he had already made a mistake. But... Khan wouldn’t be as cruel as to punish him over this. Or would he? Leonard wasn’t exactly sure, one hand slowly reaching upwards, fingertips brushing over the warm, clean leather of the collar around his neck.
Khan did not bother to defend himself, not when this side of the doctor looked absolutely spectacular… And of course, the damage being done was not enough to cause him any significant amount of pain, no… He could take much more than a few fists, from such an ordinary human… And yet, even that was starting to sway… What is ordinary… When all one has to do is open their minds into something new… If I am to be that passageway for this man - to have him see a new side of potential, then perhaps… Perhaps, there can be something greater from out of the ordinary… His thoughts going on, and on, until quite abruptly did they cease - when Khan finally felt something break upon his face… The chip on the edge – The slightest bit of skin had broken on his cheek, and a cut was now smearing there -on pale flesh- from the sheer rage he had stirred within this man… This caused the augment to smirk, and it was not just any sort of normal kind that was almost permanently on his face - when dealing with morons… No, this was the wickedest of expressions.. Knowing full well that he had been the one to make this man practically lose himself to vivid emotions. “…Doctor…?!… – Now, that is what I like to see…” Finally, moving his arms just enough - palms reaching up and grabbing the underside of the doctor’s chin. Bringing him up close, and whispering heatedly into his ear - Like that of a restrained serpent in the confines of this darkened medical room… A specimen for the eyes, and yet always deadly… “Look at you… I can see it, now, Doctor McCoy… The brave man - The one who attempted to defeat the augment Prince… Here in the man’s own doctoral space… I wonder with just how you plan on continuing - If you even can… Or do the eyes of your lonely daughter come flashing before them, in an attempt to stop you from becoming what is rightfully meant only for you…”
{ mccoy-damnit-bones }
There was a certain kind of pain shooting through his knuckles the second time his fist connected with the man’s face. And distantly he knew, that Khan had allowed this to happen. The augment could have easily defended himself, could have simply grabbed Bones’ hand, possibly even broken it, regardless of the definite consequences this violation against a Starfleet Officer would bring. But he didn’t. No, he simply took the hits like they came, filled with nothing but anger and utter hatred. He took it like he enjoyed it, and, if the doctor was completely honest, he had almost even hoped for that. Because that would enable him to go further. Without anything bloody stopping him; or anyone. Or... was his thinking already so goddamn corrupted, that he couldn’t think clearly anymore? Had this bastard managed to wind his way into his mind, manipulated him enough to break?
No.
Bones wasn’t broken. He knew he wasn’t. And even if he was most definitely sure, that this little outbreak of pure emotion had been in the other’s intents, he didn’t fucking care. No, he enjoyed it himself quite much already, and he didn’t bloody care if he was being irrational there. Or if anyone saw how much he reacted to Khan’s words, besides that son of a bitch himself.
And then he saw it. The small trickle of the other’s crimson life source, a tiny flicker of bare flesh, flashing across his cheek. It seemed that McCoy had managed to break the man’s steely skin, had managed to physically hurt him. And my, his chest swelled with utter pride and satisfaction there, inhaling a deep lungful of oxygen as he forced his fists back once more. He had achieved exactly what he wanted; to hurt Khan. He had managed to visually hurt him, and that was all that mattered.
The brunet couldn’t quite react, though, as all of sudden the augment’s hand raised, strong fingers wrapping around his chin, and pulling him forward mercilessly. There was no point in fighting the other’s physical strength, Bones knew, and that was probably also the only reason for him to hold perfectly still all of sudden. His whole body tensed nonetheless, like a bow ready to snap. His breathing soon turned into something akin to anticipating panting, and he was sure as hell, that the next blow, the revenge, would follow soon.
---But it didn’t come.
No, instead... instead Leonard only heard those hotly hissed words, spit out like utter venom. Like a snake figuratively paralysing and devouring him right there, the other’s breath warmly brushing over his ear and neck. A shiver ran inevitably down Len’s back, making him cringe for a second.
His facial expressions lightened once more. They lost all of their previous hostile intentions for a few brief seconds, the realisation of what had just happened slowly sinking into the man’s mind. The augment was right. And he had probably violated a huge row of Starfleet Regulations with his ‘little outburst’. But as soon as his daughter was once more mentioned, her name all but ravished in the other’s mouth, he couldn’t quite keep that little moment of enlightening. He couldn’t keep on returning back to his sanity when the monster, the AUGMENT PRINCE, provoked him like that. Maybe it was his shell having already been cracked by the first two hits, maybe he was more vulnerable now. Or perhaps he just didn’t fucking care anymore. But no one, not even his own rational mind, could stop himself from flinging his once life-saving hands at the other’s neck and tightening his fingers as hard as he could. He had no idea if this would work. If Khan would be so much as affected by it. But he needed that. Needed to feel the other’s flesh squeezing and breaking beneath his fingers, needed to let him suffer for daring to talk about his dear ones like that...
{ DOCTOR DEATH }
The sudden movement had John flailing uselessly. His arms bound, he could do little more than be dragged across the floor. He’d tested the bonds, but they were beyond even his abilities. Whoever had designed them had clearly had someone much stronger in mind, thus making a simple escape impossible.
He landed against the biobed with a huff and ignored when the damned thing beeped, indicating his elevated heart rate. Hell yes, his heart was beating rabbit fast. He didn’t know this man who wore his brother’s face. He didn’t know what the man was capable of. And he sure as hell did not want to find out.
“Gonna have a hard time getting me on the bed while I’m still bound, doc.” He gritted out, cheek pressed against the bed. Jaw tight, John saw his only chance. If this McCoy unbound him to tie him down to the bed, he’d fight.
He had no other choice.
It was, of course, easy enough to manhandle a bound man around, and push him onto a biobed. The strongest man could be thrown around like a limp mannequin if their limbs were bound to the point of being utterly useless. However, the stranger’s words were kind of right -- how was Bones going to tie the man down onto the biobed if he had to untie him first? Well, the answer was easy; he would only have to untie his hands if he wanted the man to be lying comfortably on the biobed. And, seeing as he was already a bit pissed at him, despite the sparkling interest towards the 24th Chromosome-feature, he would sure as hell not be keen to make anything comfortable for the bastard.
No, instead he simply chuckled at that, quickly pushing the brunet further. Making sure to roll him over onto his back, before lifting his legs up onto the bed as well. And then, with his fake-brother’s hands stinging wonderfully into his lower back, he started to attach the rubber bands to keep him still on said biobed.
“What a good coincidence, that I’m not really interested in making your stay anything like comfortable.” Another smirk flashed over his face. Besides, the access to his guts was so much better now.
She wasn’t sure if he was fucking with her with the offer but she wasn’t about to say no to either of those things. “Bathroom break sounds fantastic.” her voice was almost deadpan, having mastered hiding what she was feeling long enough ago that the slight fear in her voice was almost completely unreadable.
“I can start listening in for you whenever you need.” she mumbled. “Take me with you when you leave and I’ll read everyone around you. Tell you if they’re lying. If they’re planning anything. And I don’t even need to say a single word. I can just tell you telepathically.”
For a small second, the doctor narrowed his eyes at her. It was a little off-putting that, for once, a victim didn’t exactly show any signs of fear. They were usually screaming and thrashing, begging for their pathetic lives, and trying to appease him with whatever favour they could think of. But this one wasn’t. She was way too calm at this time, the doctor found, and for a split second there was a small fear of her having actually outwitted him. That thought disappeared a second later, though. She wouldn’t dare to try anything stupid, he was sure. Maybe the lack of shown fear was simply a sign for over-average intelligence, who knew... Spock had the same problem when it came to threats, it seemed. And Bones had to admit, that bastard was a genius.
“Bathroom break it is,” he repeated the brunette’s wish, and finally moved forward to grab her arm. It was only logical that he wouldn’t let her go on her own. He would accompany her, and make sure she didn’t do anything stupid. And therefore, he now pulled her towards the next best bathroom, without so much as caring if he hurt her or not. He also didn’t find this anything like awkward; it was just safety manners.
There was a small stop as soon as he heard her next words, though. Something like a pause for a split second, before continuing his walk towards the bathroom. It sounded good, actually. Having a spy, that could look into other’s heads. But there were two problems -- firstly, she would also look into his head, and he preferred to stay alone in there; secondly, people would way too quickly start to notice, and the Betazoid would quickly be the most wanted person on the whole ship. A situation the doctor would rather avoid. So he shook his head as he pushed her into the bathroom, locking the door behind himself, and finally leaning against it with his back. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, eyes attentively watching her next steps. “You’ll stay in medbay. I’m not a babysitter, and neither do I need one.”
#9d9762
|REACTION MEME| Bruised and Broken Version
"Woah, when did you get that?"
"Who did this to you?"
"How many time have I told you to be more careful?"
"You’re saying this was an accident?"
"What a shiner!"
"If you look like this, I’d hate to see the other guy."
"I’m not buying it, you don’t walk into a door and get a bruise like that!"
"Does it hurt when I touch it?"
"Let me kiss it better."
"If you don’t rest, you won’t heal."
"Another fight?"
"What happened to your face?"
"I don’t think your arm is meant to bend like that…"
"Let’s get you to bed."
"Let’s get you to the hospital."
"Why are you so calm about this?"
"You’re bleeding!"
"What are friends for, ey?"
"So, instead of helping you, they ran off the moment they saw what was happening?"
"You need to look where you’re going."
"I’m not accusing anyone, I’m just saying it looks suspicious."
"Do you want to tell me what really happened?"
"Don’t move! You’ll faint!"
"I’ve got some bandages, wait a sec."
"You’re the clumsiest person I know."
"I won’t let you be on your own, not when you’re like this."
"How could you be so careless?"
"I can’t even look at you, you promised not to get into any more fights!"
"H-how many of them were there?"
fourteen associations
reblog and fill in the answers you most associate your character to with each question.
animal: grumpy cat & grumpy owl (also grumpy frog but he would never admit that... actually everything that’s grumpy) song: Nickelback - If Today Was Your Last Day & Nickelback - If Everyone Cared number: no preference day or night: day & night (because obviously he doesn’t know what ‘break’ means) plant: lavender smell: books & freshly baked bread gemstone: sapphire & ruby season: winter & spring place: earth & the view of the stars on a clear night sky food: anything that keeps him satiated astrological sign: (i could not find anything for that...) elements: earth drink: coffee
tagging: EVERYONE.
“Of course you don’t remember.”
“---You threatened to sedate me!”
“Nothing's real.”
Ask Meme
“—Well, then this five-year-mission is pretty pointless, isn’t it?”
Next To Normal Ask Meme: Send Me One To See How My Muse Will React
“It's 4 in the morning, is everything ok?”
“Some days I think I'm dying, but I'm really only trying to get through.”
“I think the house is spinning.”
“So, we'll try again and eventually we'll get it right.”
“Not a very exact science, is it?”
“I'm trying to tell you I love you.”
“I can be perfect for you.”
“I miss the pain.”
“Nothing's real.”
“I didn't know you had a brother.”
“He's been dead 16 years.”
“This is fucked.”
“I know you're hurting. I am, too.”
“Can you tell me what it is you're afraid of?”
“Can I touch you?”
“Are you wanting all that she can't give?”
“I am the one who won't walk away.”
“I wish I could fly, I'd fly far away from here.”
“I love you as much as I can.”
“I'm your worst fear, you'll find it in me.”
“I need you to need me.”
“It's not going to get better, is it?”
“Are you nervous?”
“What's your story?”
“Did you see my parents out there?”
“How could she leave me on my own?”
“Why didn't you take me with you?”
“You're kidding, right? That's bullshit.”
“What makes you think I'd lose my mind for you?”
“Tell me why I wait through the night.”
“I can't get through this alone.”
“Am I feeling what I think I'm feeling?”
“I'm good as gone.”
“You don't remember any of this?”
“I thought you might call.”
“Don't say that we're over.”
“I couldn't give a flying fuck what's normal.”
“Your life has kind of sucked, I think.”
“Won't anything be better than before?”
“Your son is gone forever though.”
“There's something missing.”
“Let me know you again.”
“Why do I get denied?”
“Where'd you get that?”
“How could I ever forget?”
Why would you want to remember the things that hurt you?”
“Please, tell me his name.”
“Why stay?”
“Something next to normal would be okay.”
“You look like a star.”
“Can you leave it behind?”
“I might end up crazy.”
“So anyway I'm leaving.”
“It's time for me to go.”
“I am the one who saved you.”
“I know you know who I am.”
“We need some light.”
“It's the price we pay to feel.”
🔪
Ask Meme
Pain searing through his back, the doctor was – understandably – shocked at the all of sudden force being thrown at him. Unable to do anything but watch, he tipped his head a little higher at the all of sudden flash of a steely blade being pressed against his throat. Now, that had escalated quickly, he thought to himself. Slowly, Bones tried to raise his arms; as if in surrender, to show he wasn’t at all threatening.“Look, I didn’t mean it like that… alright? Just take that goddamn thing down…”
Crime themed starter sentences
Includes drug and violence tw, a mix of which muse is the criminal, if not both.
“Your mother would be ashamed of you.”
“C’mon, the cops are stupid, they’ll never catch us.”
“The car’s a piece of junk anyway, they’re not gonna miss it.”
“Carry on the way you’re going and you’re gonna end up in prison.”
“I’m not that much of a scumbag, I don’t steal from old ladies.”
“One last score, then we’re out of the game, what do you say?”
“I’m only doing this because I need to pay my dealer.”
“Prison? Occupational hazard.”
“They pissed me off, I made sure they won’t be walking for a while, no biggie.”
“So you’re a drug runner or a drug dealer?”
“Prison ain’t too bad, you’ve got a bed and they feed you.”
“I get all tingly when you break into cars like that.”
“I do it for the thrill – and to fund my drug habit.”
“Did you kill him/her?”
“I never meant to hurt anyone!”
“I needed the money, what else could I do.”
“We grew up around criminals, of course we became them.”
“What kind of example are you setting for your kids?”
“I grew up, you probably should too.”
“He had it coming.”
“I just gave him his final warning.”
“I’m calling the cops!”
“I’m passionate about two things, bank robbery and you.”
“I’m a street rat, but I’m good at it.”
“Dealing in an alley, classy as ever.”
“If you don’t have my money, you know I’m going to have to teach you a lesson.”
“Bonny and Clyde made this look so much more glamorous.”
“One day we’ll be rich and we won’t have to do this anymore.”
“That’s not your wallet is it?”
“So I got in a fight, they owed me money.”