(I realize with 'brownstone living room' you were probably going for post-canon but my brain refused to cooperate for that. 😅 I hope you enjoy this little fwb AU anyway.) Kiss Me Like You Mean It prompts | kiss ficlets on ao3 | kiss ficlets on tumblr
“Alex, love—”
Alex, currently pacing a hole into the rug in the living room of Henry’s Brooklyn brownstone and resolutely avoiding Henry’s eyes, ignores his attempt at intervention. “—it’s just, one of them saw us at the bar last week and started getting on my ass about you, and now they’re insisting that I bring my partner to this party, and what am I supposed to say? ‘Oh, actually we just fuck sometimes, because I’m too fucked up for a real relationship—’”
“Alex,” Henry repeats with more force.
Alex gulps a ragged breath and tries to hold himself together. “—And I know this wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, but maybe if we can just pretend for the night my boss won’t realize what a total wreck I am—”
His mistake is that he passes too close to where Henry is sitting, allowing Henry to snag him by the wrist. It stops him long enough for Henry to hook the fingers of his other hand into Alex’s belt loop, and once he’s finally got Alex’s attention, he gives another little tug, drawing Alex closer.
Henry doesn't look upset. If anything, he looks… fondly exasperated. And perhaps a little amused. Alex doesn’t know what to make of it.
“Baby, what—”
“Come here, love,” Henry says, gently but firmly pulling Alex into his lap.
Alex wishes that the contact didn’t make him sag in relief. He’s got way too many feelings for this, but he folds his knees on either side of Henry’s hips and leans forward, pressing their foreheads together. Henry pushes it further, tilting his head so he can give Alex the softest, sweetest kiss in all the history of the universe, apparently.
God, Alex wants so much. And judging by the way Henry is holding him, maybe… maybe it’s not impossible.
Then Henry pulls back and looks him squarely in the eye with so much care that it’s nearly excruciating. Alex has to fight not to look away.
“You’re not a wreck,” Henry says, his voice no less sure and strong for how quiet it is. “You’re incredible, and you’re fantastic at your job, and your boss knows it.”
Alex opens his mouth to argue, but Henry stops him with a finger against his lips.
“I’m not done,” he says flatly. “Alex, love. I hate to be the one to break this to you, but this is a real relationship. You practically live here. There’s a shelf of your hair products in in the bathroom and a rack of your suits in the closet. We eat almost every breakfast and dinner together. You pack a lunch for me every day and leave adorable notes inside.”
“Shit, I hope those weren’t too much—” Alex starts.
“You’re not hearing me. I love them,” Henry says. He pauses a moment, and holds Alex’s gaze meaningfully as he says, “I love you, darling.”
Alex can’t breathe. “You—” he starts. Fails. Tries again. “But you said— You weren’t looking for a relationship—”
“And I found one anyway,” Henry says calmly. How is he so calm? It’s making Alex feel crazy. “Yes, I said that six months ago when we started sleeping together. But then things progressed naturally and I realized how much you meant to me. How much you were an important part of my life.” He reaches up and pushes a curl back from Alex’s forehead. “I’m sorry, love. I should have told you sooner. But every time the topic of love came up you got all squirrelly, so I figured you just weren’t ready for that conversation. I wanted to give you the space you needed. But also, I honestly thought we were on the same page about this. What did you think we were doing?”
“I…” Alex says, his eyes searching Henry’s face for any sign that this is some kind of elaborate joke. Not that Henry would ever do such a thing, but none of the rest of this seems possible either. “I don’t know,” he finally manages in a small voice. “I guess I hoped… some day…”
His voice fails again, but it’s ok, because Henry kisses him with so much tenderness that he’s sure he’d break apart if Henry’s strong arms weren’t also wrapped around him.
“I love you, too,” Alex breathes when they finally part again.
“I know,” Henry says, smiling, and Alex lets out a hiccuping laugh of disbelief.
“I’m supposed to be the Han Solo in this relationship,” he accuses, only realizing what he’s said when it’s out of his mouth.
A relationship. Of course that’s what this is. God, he was so fucking stupid not to see it. He’s been stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the reality of it for months because he was convinced that one day Henry would get tired of him, but that day never came. Never will come, maybe, if the way Henry’s looking at him is anything to go by.
“Alright, Han,” Henry says, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Now that that’s settled, let’s go have dinner.”
watching gerard way be violently wrestled to the ground forced into whats thematically a straight jacket and then get pet like a fucking dog is understandably Bad in a lore context however its fucking AMAZING for my dick
In episode six of The Amazing Digital Circus — Jax gets too real!
In all seriousness, this was completely fantastic to watch. It was such a good depiction of self destructive behaviors and Michael Kovach was PHENOMENAL.
His instant reaction to pomni hugging him was super telling. He wants to get closer to her, his behaviors show that clearly, but he fears it as well.
His regret after the outburst is also extremely telling.
This did not go as planned. He did not expect to get so close to her and have to push her so suddenly away. He didn’t want to push her away, but felt in this moment that he needed to, at all costs.
As much as he wants everyone to believe his actions were planned, they were IMPULSIVE.
As insistent as he was on telling Pomni that he didn’t care, that it was stupid to think that he might, Pomni was right when she pointed out that Jax wasn’t fighting back. He DID care.
He never hurt Pomni for his own fun at any point in this episode. His actions directly contradict what he’s trying to make Pomni believe. He hurts the others, so she might believe him. But he didn’t want to hurt her. Not anymore. The only time he hurt her on purpose was when he felt like he needed to push her away. But otherwise? He has shown that he doesn’t see her as something to torment. Jax sees Pomni as an equal, a friend.
His words are hollow.
Even his reaction to Ragathas “accusing” him of making friends with Pomni was extreme. Initially his uncaring expression threw Ragatha off, but once she was eliminated you can see that this is the moment Jax realized he was going too far — far past even his own personal boundaries — in forming a bond with Pomni.
Jax was lying the whole time he tried to make Pomni believe he didn’t care. He used all his tricks. Deflected with jokes, brushed off the intensity of the situation, made fun of Pomnis attempts to befriend him, he even tried to make her push him away first with the traitor bit.
Actually, he seems to be obsessed with the whole bit thing, don’t you think? The archetypes.
He thinks that fitting into the role of the circus will help him survive.
As if trying to maintain humanity whilst being deprived of it causes abstraction.
So he picks the perfect role to extract himself of any sort of sincerity or responsibility.
The comedian.
He uses it as a shield even if it damages his relationship with Pomni. And he tries to use Pomni’s humorously chosen role to his advantage, to get her to leave.
Pomni’s prying would humanize him. He would be too open, too vulnerable, too human. He won’t be able to play his role anymore. Or use it to protect his sanity.
If he had nothing beneath his cruel exterior, he wouldn’t have to beg Pomni to stop looking.
Jax knows that if she keeps looking, if she helps him open up, if she pursues his friendship despite his protests, he WILL break, and he WILL show her who he really is. He can’t resist getting close with someone because he — like everybody else — needs a friend.
"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!
“Medieval peasants couldn’t handle my Spotify playlist” but could YOU handle a medieval bard relaying the epic of Beowulf over the course of an hour? Humble yourself.
