I have this deep seethed belief that Gatsby believes the world is too cruel to men, granted he also understands, perhaps even more deeply that men are often the perpetrators of said cruelty.
Either way, he in turn, pampers himself and his femininity.
And later, when it is his right, he will nurture and pamper Nick too, in all his callousness .
This thought surfaced and is particularly important to me now because, while Nick doesnât have an established past ;
I read an amazing fic where he had a rather rough upbringing - mostly psychological with those formative physical abuses here and there that have well, toughened him up.
I think my Gatsby would pair perfectly with that so I am stealing it <3
Link to the wonderful fic below the cut !! because as a fellow author I will always shout out someone any chance I get, it is a hard read but if you can please go give it some love !! đ«¶
short version : Lucifer feels carnally AND romantically about his wife.
He feels deeply safe with Alastor.
Thatâs the contrast of their relationships.
(He of course also feels deeply safe with Lilith but he lacks the carnality with Al is the point here.)
They can still both deeply Fluster each other, usually by accident then intent though Alastor has moods where he has deep fun in riling up Lucifer.
Much to Luciferâs frustration before his wifeâs return, sometimes he completely bursts, hovering,
âYou- You do realise I have urges donât you ?? You- ugh,â
Alastor laughs composed and simply boops Lucifer, gently, lovingly on the nose the trust runs deep both ways.
âOf course.â
Lucifer huffs, so warm to the skin he might as well go sulk in the fire place and give warmth to the hotel for christmas, he is actually fairly sure the tips of his hair are blazing as they hellishly do whenever any emotion that is high enough in him,
âInsufferable.â
Alastor laughs again, clearer
âOh I know that too.â
Sometimes they end up with Alastor cuddling Lucifer till he comes back down to earth which is Luciferâs favourite as embarassing as it is - as much as Alastorâs hands sometimes tease the hem of his trousers and he angrily swats the radio demons hand away donât.
and Alastor continues to incessantly laugh behind him âAlright, dear.â
the nickname purring in his chest as he places his head on top of Luciferâs head, pulling him deeper into the soft fur of his chest, shirt unbuttoned âWhatever his highness wants.â
Other times they end up with Lucifer getting splashed with a bucket of ice water and widely blinking at Alastor in pure âwhy would you do that.â
Idk, they have fun your honour đ.
And once Lilith returns she can have a lot of fun with her pre-riled up husband - itâs a team effort.
Nothing gets under Lucferâs skin (okay thatâs a lie, a lot of things probably do but who can help him, he will never stop feeling like a sinful angel here, he was never supposed to know pleasure like this.) like Lilith tilting his chin up - with that sultry voice of hers and lidded eyes going âAlastor got you so pretty for me, didnât he ?â
knowing - that if the radio in his room is listening then Alastorâs ego completely grows under the indirect praise and he preens, sometimes he even tunes in to say a âOh it was my pleasure.â to Lilith - gosh they are strange arenât they ?
Genuinely think itâs so funny to imagine Lucifer just pouting to his wife - they love him so much, heâs so silly and pathetic.
Lilith often knows what he wants but just for the sake of it will go
âWordâs, love.â
and Lucifer splutters âAlastor.â
and she perches an eyebrow high just for the sake of it - holding back a laugh with effort,
âAlastor. Yes, of course, should I get him ?â
Lucifer groans and hides in his hat âNoooo, I just left him.â - he will have to give more than that.
â-
Ps : Absoloutely need everyone to know that Alastorâs purely childish and soft response to âwhy would you douse me in a bucket of water.â is âYou were flaming.â which triggers Lu into a âWELL WHOSE FAULT IS THAT.â
some of the hotel residents always giggle - oddly enough its angel dust (gosh I miss him.) who looks at them in pure intrigue and goes âHell, theyâre really weird arenât they.â
frankly because heâs seen a lot but never this.
Husk is gruff about seeing the literal owner of his soul play around like that and huffs âbeats me.â which paired with Lu chasing Al always does make him innocently giggle into a drink and turn to husk to softly, flirtations purr âOh donât be like that now.â
I like to think Luci is a lot more childish/playful with Al - which results in him catching Al off guard more than he catches Luci off guard (be assured it does happen though.)
Lilith is much more teasing with Luci which ends up in a lot more gulps and flusters for Luci (he loves her.)
Also a testament to their different relationships !!
I am still more on the 90 if not more % non sexual radioapple and whatever romance they have going on if anything itâs more a Queer Platonic than your classical relationship.
which also leads back to the silly idea of Lilith coming back to Lucifer having taken Al as his executioner and being like âwho is this ?â
I have the silly idea that while Lucifer tries to pretend like itâs nothing because Alastor is annoying + he thinks his wife would be annoyed,
she gets up close to shut him up and goes âThatâs hot.â
and Lucifer stops functioning.
Lilith then teasingly enquires if Lucifer likes Alastor (I will always Polycule over love triangle actually) and Lucifer goes beat red, tail fanning behind him wildly and goes back to sputtering nonsense because he doesnât know how to explain and like maybe, kind of ? but he hasnât even REALLY gotten to talk about that with Alastor he THINKS Alastor knows and they have agreed not to think about it, to settle on this weird respect where Lucifer knows Alastor isnât touch fond and Alastor lets him cuddle every once in a while, and like they have made out at least twice but itâs always always on Alastorâs terms and thatâs fine thatâs more than fine and Honestly Lucifer is pretty sure Alastor doesnât do relationship like that and-
Alastor pops over his squabble to calmly chuckle over him and go âNo, your majesty, our relationship isnât-â looking at Luciferâs wide eyed look, now he coughs, a slight colour in his cheeks - ear flicking as he averts his eyes perhaps realising only now that he really is talking to the king of hellâs wife herself but they have talked about her,
â- Whatever Lu feels for me is his business,â
he throws him into the deep end and Lucifer feels it wash over him like heâd been dumped right into the ice cold ocean oh heâs going to fight him,
â- I,â he emphasis âdonât do things like that, simply keep him company.â
Lilith is mostly amused, huffing, glancing between them, cocking her head âLu ?â
Lucifer laughs, smile growing on his face God he wants a kiss, will she kiss him now ?
âHaha, a lot of people are unfortunately on a first name basis with me now Darling-â âQuiteâ Alastor echoes âThink nothing of it.â
Lilith giggles again, hearthy and quite and secret and behind her hand and Lucifer canât stop his tails flicking if he wanted to - he loves her, so much
âOh I didnât but you, you are interesting.â
Alastor does a little bow of sorts, leaning down to Lilithâs shoulder as she kneels by Luciferâs height - his wings flutter,
âThank you, your highness,â
âLilith.â
âMnm, Lilith,â
A wicked grin over takes the radio demon then, voice a whisper,
âYou should kiss him.â
he teases âHe's missed you an awful lot."
and the look on Lilithâs face is sweet and dangerous and wicked âOh I plan to.â
And Lucifer getâs his kiss at last <3
Not entirely sure how he feels about Alastor watching him fall apart at his wifeâs feet but he settles on being teased to death being better than the two people he cares so deeply about tearing each other apart - not entirely sure if he will survive well however, oh well, they will catch him, wonât they ? Put him back together.
Three words, three emotions, that he would never, not even if the world should end;
admit to possessing, taken a grip of him, ever since the announcement of Johnâs wedding.
And it had only, as many of Sherlockâs emotions ever had, grown worse with the passing of time - a curse that was not a healer for he but a ticking time bomb counting down to when his heart would have had enough to bare.
It began small really, unnoticeable, an awkward grimace, a joke that didnât land, a fumble of an experiment then, his focus had totally shifted, from his own person to.. whatever weddings were meant to be.
He left behind sleeping and eating as if he were hot on the trail of a case, clicked from website to website, flitted through the pages of books, incessant obsession with getting it right, with not letting a thing go wrong - collecting knowledge he had never before deemed necessary. The renowned Sherlock Holmes and not the first thing known of weddings, a useless procedure made all but for false pretences of the masses.
Still, now, he was letting it seep between the cracks of information stored on murders and wounds, on methods of manipulation and of which poison to administer for the quickest death, he let it seep through the cracks and it grew. Blue little flowers, unfitting in the rumbled mess of his mind, growing from the ruins of a mind palace askew.
And It was beautiful, if he had only spent any amount of time walking through it.
It would have been beautiful had it not been the imagery of melancholy, the flowers couldnât survive, not in such a place. (there was no way, bring back later than once more = they did survive, despite Holmesâs pessimism)
ââ-
He had spent more time planning, writing, than John and Mary had.
He had organised it all, the tasting of cake, the selection of wine, the shape of the serviettes, theâŠ
The invitation, he had written the invitation, for heavens sake, well no, okay, John had handled that one.
But he had been there overlooking it with Mary by his side, getting a say in it all.
It had been naught but shortly after, that Mary, always the ever preceptive one between her and John, had caught a sight of his fears and practically flung John into taking him out on a case, a good old spirited âthings wonât changeâ (child, yes they will) and an action of sentiment to which at the time Sherlock had been (naught but) completely blind to.
The case itself that they had agreed upon was fine on its own, a murder, with no weapon, no witness,
A life nearly taken and saved by no one else but John. H.Watson himself - Sherlock Holmesâs fateful companion.
Had it been left solely to Sherlock the life would have slipped away, right under everyoneÂŽs eyes. Sherlock Holmes was a hound for crime, notoriously so.
For solving the puzzles left behind. But not a Doctor for the present, for noticing the desperate cling to life, for reaching out to save such a delicate thing. He thinks he would have done nothing but broken it even if he had tried, a hound chewed up any life laid before them. They were trained hunters after-all.
So it was good, that there was a companion to stand by his side - to be the balance that granted Sherlock Holmes any sort of credibility within his title as the hope of the people/ordinary person.
â
The case had been unsolved, the third stage of Sherlockâs unsteady stand in emotions.
One unsolved case after another, slipping away between the cracks of his fingers, a thing that he hated to permit.
To admit that he was human, that he made mistakes, that he messed up and found himself in predicaments deemed mysterious or difficult even to him.
Who was he if he failed to solve the crimes? who was he without the excel of his mind.
He had even, for fucks sake, turned to alcohol, a vice not unlike drugs expect that he rarely ever found himself in its clutches.
Never let himself get close enough, drunk enough, for it to muddle his senses because thatâs all that alcohol did. Where as drugs took him beyond the confines of humanity, of his vessel, enhanced how he thought and what he saw. Alcohol took all that away, lowered and made disappear every sound reason he knew.
It inconvenienced him at the least, scared him at most.
So he stayed away, stayed away until he didnât, until he initiated it. that god forsaken Stag Night. (A stupid name, a stupid night.) - another human created triviality/frivolity.
It had been, precisely just six days to Johnâs wedding and nothing settled his nerves any longer, so he ignored any written rules about what a stag night should be, when it should be held, how and with whom and let himself be careless just with one thing, just with this.
He sought Molly, convinced her to set up an experiment, practice for Johnâs actual stag night, their tolerance for alcohol, a front of the perfectionism heâs been carrying for this entire thing, tense in his shoulders. And he should have known, know that John would spike their drinks. He did know.
Bonus bits I didnât know where to put under the cut :
âIf there were to be one thing in comparison to the halting that love put on his deductive reasoning then that would happen to be alcohol.â
âRetracing their past, a drink at every crime scene theyâve been to seemed like a good idea at the time, Perhaps John would see the way his heart breaks.â
âOn the morning of the wedding, he just couldnât bare to be with him.â
And a little Mary because this was, initially, going to have a happy ending - of Sherlock getting invited into Maryâs and Johnâs lives, the one they vowed to live together - Much to Sherlockâs confusion ;
âOh dear.. he has no clue whatâs going on does he ?â
HEAR ME OUT OKAY HEAR ME OUT Lily and Remus getting ready together !!!
SIRIUS AND JAMES GETTING READY TOGETHER.
(Word vomit/Half writing under cut.)
Two completely contrasting vibes man ;
Lily and Remus are soft and emotional and Lily is like holding his face in both her hands and soothing his nerves - tracing the outside of scars because only Sirius is permitted to trace them directly and she doesnât want to hurt him with the sharp point of her nails even though she believes some of the remaining scars are simply numb to sensation - and just telling him heâs beautiful âYouâve got nothing to worry about Re, there bringing her hands down to squeeze his shoulders straighten those shoulders, be proud.â
And Remus is blowing hair out of his eyes and huffing out a heavy breath like dogs do and rolling his eyes at her but itâs working, he wonât ever admit that Lilyâs gentle touches and words have always worked - sheâs got motherly magic in her already, always had and whenever she gets nervous about her pregnancy and the future of little harry he just tells her so,
âOkaaaay Lils, I am not dying.â
âOh you certainly looked like you were.â
âEnough,â
he laughs a little, swats at her playfully, looks her up and down, gaze settling warmly on her little bump before it flickers back up to meet her eyes and he wiggles his eyebrows subtly when a bashful blush colours her own cheeks - hands wrung together now in that nervous habit of hers even though her gaze remains so stubbornly against his
âSo, we all know you never have to worry about anything with James but,â
he jokes than softens his voice
âYou look gorgeous, Sirius will have to pick Prongs jaw off the ground for him.â
Lily laughs, and says she thinks it will be vice versa too.
--
On the other hand you can bet Sirius and James are having the most chaotic time to ever chaotic ;
Mixing up ties and shoes and somehow james got a hold of Siriusâs hair ribbon and they STILL donât know how and Pads is telling him he wrinkled it and so now theyâre ironing it and shouting at each other and running around the place anyway, imagine Sirius putting beads into Jamesâs curls đ„č and James nervously doing Siriusâs eyeliner for him BECAUSE đ theyâre in this together.
HALFWAY THROUGH IRONING, Sirius is gonna be like ;
â!? PRONGS, WEâRE WIZARDS.â
and theyâre gonna be like âOh god-â
Lilyâs and Remusâs half muggle ways have effected them both and there was an ironing board in the corner and- anyway they spell it away, at last.
and they definitely have a big whisper moment before Remus and Lily walk out the other side of the aisle hand in hand just,
âAre you ready for this ?â
âNo, not really, not in a million years pads.â
âand here I thought youâve been dying to marry Lily since first grade !â
âI HAVE BUT-â
âshssss !!â
they have their soft moments of âhow are you feeling.â âare you okay.â âitâs going to be fineâ âoh my gosh- (they saw their partners emerge so now itâs silence and no toeing at each other jokingly spitefully anymore.)
I WONDER WHERE REGULUS WOULD BE IF HE WAS THERE.
Maybe alone ? by request not really by just being pushed aside no no.
But Remus and Sirius come to check on him at different times and he calls them idiots when they almost accidentally bumped into each other too early.
On the contrary if he isnât there by then JAMES ABSOLOUTELY, tells pads abt how Reggie was the one to teach him how to do this while heâs nervously doing his (Sirius's) eye make up.
and Sirius and him share a small saddened look and a moment ANYWAY
ALTERNATIVELT, bcs any wedding can be unconventional but gay weddings especially tend to be and Sirius Black seems like heâd favour himself an unconventional wedding :
REMUS AND HIM DO bump into each other halfway - a lot of surprise, compliments, confidence bumping, teary eyes and emotions ensue of course but this is wolfstar so they do inevitably end up all over each other, making out - Remus is a deep, flushed kisser but he has to keep swatting Siriusâs hand away from his tailcoat and shirt because heâs going to mess it up and absolutely wants to get his hands against his bare skin, itâs definitely a lot of laughter and love - Remus ends up sporting Siriusâs dark red lipstick - he notices heâs smudged Siriusâs own, terribly when he pulls away and heâs instinctually wiping the pads of his thumb across the outer corners of his lips, snorting through his nose,
âReally pads, for a wedding ?â
because it is such a deep blood red colour, Sirius just grins up at him so bright and answers âour wedding.â which is a very defiant âI can do what I want and you love it.â
Remus leans back to mess him up more.
He knows theyâve got plenty of time to tidy it back up but he is a menace, a marauder he presses a specific kiss with Siriusâs lipstick atop the lapel of his white shirt - the starry, sparkly âohâ look in Siriusâs eyes is worth it.
(itâs a silent claim, as if marriage isnât quite enough.)
ANYWAY, Regulus definitely opens his door almost making them fall/jump and goes ;
âAre you done making out in front of my dressing room.â
and they laugh sheepishly.
ANYWAYS, wolfstar fretting over and getting Regulus ready together.
theyâre going to make him SO GORGEOUS, I mean, Remus knows what Lily looks like and Sirius knows what James looks like and they just exchange a silent look and agree to make Regulus top them both SO, you all bet Regulus is going to look ETHEREAL, and sparkly heâs going to steal the spotlight and nobody has any qualms about it.
expect maybe Regulus - heâd agreed to this but he still isnât sure : white and a light blue OR A VERY FADED GREEN ?? (for the house-) suits him at all but Sirius is just going to joke that heâs already stolen the black for himself between the two brothers so Regulus is just going to have to deal.
they all laugh.
Remus tells him it contrasts lovingly against the stark black of his hair and eyes.
ANYWAYS, Sirius also tidies Remus up somewhere along the way, wiping away his lipstick and forcing himself not to leave more (does he return the lapel kiss ? I think Remus would stop him with his hand thatâs his claim on Sirius but it does mean there is a bright red lip mark left on his palm that Sirius doesnât let him wipe and that seems well.. fitting enough. its devotion, respect, for a werewolf half blood. Where no one else had wanted to show it.)
tracing his freckles and the sparkled mischievous look in his eyes, silently teasing.
Equally Regulus tidies up his brothers make up - cursing Remus out for everything he messed up while heâs just sheepishly rubbing his hands together but itâs all in good fun.
Anyway Regulus tidying his make up like he first taught him years ago đ„ș (Regulus is trans, he passed on all his make up knowledge to his brother who'd always wanted to learn - it was their solidarity.)
ALSO ALSO,
Regulus definitely just tidies Siriusâs look up in general, grumbling because âProngs sucks at this.â
and Sirius just laughs because he knows.
and he likes it that way, there is sentimental meaning behind it - he tells Regulus to keep a lot of the mistakes, Regulus thinks heâs crazy and Sirius teases him, because he says heâs nervous âworried about your big brother not looking perfect on his big day ?â
Regulus literally recoils and goes âEw-â
Remus snorts; Sirius laughs along.
--
they also BOTH, get little star motifs under their eyes or on their cheeks đ„ș
they donât belong to that family but they do belong to each other, itâs a spiteful little move.
--
there was definitely AT LEAST one if not multiple exchanges of
âAre you sure you want to marry my brother ?â
âHm ? Oh, yeh, *staring happily in love at Sirius doing smth weird af* waited too long.â
between Remus and Regulus
--
ALTERNATIVELY Sirius def crept the fuck out of James by not saying anything - like James was awkwardly there like
âSo uh- are you, you know, not going to say anything ?â
and Sirius was there doing his lipstick humming like
âMnm ?â
and James was rubbing awkwardly at his shoulder like
âYeh you know, about how like, *imitating Sirius from 6th year* if I dare to break his heart I am dead.â
And Sirius snorts a little, drawing back his lipstick and sealing it away,
âOh nah,â
he says, so casually, eyes glinting mischief at Jamesâs dramatics behind him - heâs sitting backwards and poised pretty on his stool and James sees him flash his fangs at him, glinting in the light like he had so many years ago - but itâs a playful play at Nostalgia this time not a thinly veiled thread, itâs an imitation of a growl and honestly Sirius would make an intimidating image with his dark red lipstick even dolled up softly like this if he had really meant it - James finds himself admiring that and thinking of Moony as Sirius crosses one of his legs over the other, leaning back,
âNot anymore, Iâve seen the way you treat him, nothing for me to threaten you over prongs.â
âActually-â
Sirius pushes himself off of the stool just as quickly as he had made himself comfortable, pressing a ghost kiss against Jamesâs cheek
âI am glad, itâs you.â
James platonically exploded into a flurry of embarrassment and blushing - he didnât expect that, the grateful kiss against his cheek itâs been years since Sirius has shown affection quite so deeply and openly, its youthful and child like nor did he expect Sirius to have changed so much.
Just - Sirius has seen how James treats both Lily and his little brother and he trusts, even more than he did before.
The hell the Machine Herald would raise if anyone brought harm to Jayce without his knowledge :
The announcement read in a newspaper, almost a day late, the one time he fails to keep an eye on Jayce and-
or perhaps itâs Naph, left to his own devices who comes running to him, panting and devastated and ;
About as nervous and blanched as he was that time 10 years ago when he first stepped foot by dare into Viktorâs abode,
This time, rather than handing him a vial of emotional suppressants, the Herald freezes,
âNaph ?â
Itâs a blur from there, the now teenagers tongue tangled in his own mouth,
The Heraldâs impatience fighting against his care ;
Explanations, and shouts, stuttered words and frantic desperation, a stool that clangs to the ground, matching just behind the resounding sound of a screwdriver that had met the floor moments before,
A dismissal of Naph, cold, angry - a call for Blitzcrank and the Herald is gone, door left open behind him.
He marches, marches his way past amberflit valley, through half of Zaun,
Past the people who watch him, mixed in horror and awe,
A rare sight he is out in broad daylight,
Until there he stands, in front of that dreaded door,
Usually knocked on, for the past 20 years, now gets thrown open so hard it meets the wall behind it, Â
âwho hurt him.â
The herald demands, of the woman who from he never does,
fists clenched at his side,Â
âwho- which of your Lackeys dared to lay a hand on him !â
Even with the modulator, his voice is below even, pitched and furious, echoing off of the walls, rising in volume as he spits the words like heâd much rather have his hands around Renata Glascâs throat than clenched by his sides.
âWe had a deal,â
He barks, until he is by her desk, baring his weight on it,
leaning in against her unaffected frame so he can spit the words right in her face where they belong.
âHe was mine.â
His sponsor doesnât flinch, like she had more than expected his fury and something about that crawls deeper under his skin ;
Simply steeples her fingers by her chin,
âYou took too long, Viktor.â
And he knew somewhere,
that there would be a day this came.
Their contract was clear âeliminate the man of progress.â the only string attached to her unlimited funding, for his freedom of his vision, of his glorious evolution.
And he had let it go unmet long enough, drawn it out long enough.
He doesnât know when 10 years had turned to 15, then 20 and-
It was unavoidable,
That Chem-Baroness, Renata Glasc, who led her region of Zaun with an iron fist, would not eventually take matters into her own hands.
Still, he saw red, snarling a repetition straight from his throat.Â
âHE WAS MINE.â
The words were snarled, like a wild animal off its leash, and then, he felt her orders more than he heard them - chemtech soldiers who came up behind him, reaching to restrain his arms,
He whirled around with it,
cocky was she to think that her inhuman soldiers would be able to perform a sneak attack, something that in all their years not even the man of progress had ever succeeded at.
âDonât touch me !â
He was anything but a machine then, a wild, cornered animal, the laser of the hexclaw the equivalent of his teeth bared,
He didnât dare look back at Renata Glasc, as her smooth even voice continued,
âHe was getting in our way, Viktor.â
âAnd youâre being irrational.â
âDon't tell me what I am, I donât belong to you.â
He said as evenly as he could,
Of course, that wasnât the truth,
he did in every sense of the word,
every part of him ;
She made him what he was, as she so often liked to remind him.
Still the words felt good to say.
âYou promised me better than thisâ
and she was quite right, again, of course.
When did his emotional suppressants wear off ?
No- when did he last take them, that morning-
No, no, better yet when did his emotions become too grand for them to work, and when did he stop caring, when did he stop upgrading them-
when, why-
Why did he, the Machine Herald, feel and why was this stinging emotion now carving open his chest and eating the remnants of his heart alive,
why did that make him want to care again-
Oh..
It was why he stopped feeling in the first place, wasnât it ?
Because everything had hurt.
Everything⊠hurt.
He clenched his jaw behind his mask, strong enough to break his teeth had they still been completely human, A slip of his modulator, a tinge of his accent, a hard effort to keep his emotions out of his voice, to keep it as even as Renata had hers.
âYou will regret this.â
âWill I ?â
With that, failing to install any fear but overtaken by his vengeance, the Machine Herald had turned, walked out and vowed to never come back,
to obey anyone,
to be so pathetic as to give himself over, to be under anyoneâs control again.
The hell the Machine Herald would raise if anyone brought harm to Jayce without his knowledge :
The announcement read in a newspaper, almost a day late, the one time he fails to keep an eye on Jayce and-
or perhaps itâs Naph, left to his own devices who comes running to him, panting and devastated and ;
About as nervous and blanched as he was that time 10 years ago when he first stepped foot by dare into Viktorâs abode,
This time, rather than handing him a vial of emotional suppressants, the Herald freezes,
âNaph ?â
Itâs a blur from there, the now teenagers tongue tangled in his own mouth,
The Heraldâs impatience fighting against his care ;
Explanations, and shouts, stuttered words and frantic desperation, a stool that clangs to the ground, matching just behind the resounding sound of a screwdriver that had met the floor moments before,
A dismissal of Naph, cold, angry - a call for Blitzcrank and the Herald is gone, door left open behind him.
He marches, marches his way past amberflit valley, through half of Zaun,
Past the people who watch him, mixed in horror and awe,
A rare sight he is out in broad daylight,
Until there he stands, in front of that dreaded door,
Usually knocked on, for the past 20 years, now gets thrown open so hard it meets the wall behind it, Â
âwho hurt him.â
The herald demands, of the woman who from he never does,
fists clenched at his side,Â
âwho- which of your Lackeys dared to lay a hand on him !â
Even with the modulator, his voice is below even, pitched and furious, echoing off of the walls, rising in volume as he spits the words like heâd much rather have his hands around Renata Glascâs throat than clenched by his sides.
âWe had a deal,â
He barks, until he is by her desk, baring his weight on it,
leaning in against her unaffected frame so he can spit the words right in her face where they belong.
âHe was mine.â
His sponsor doesnât flinch, like she had more than expected his fury and something about that crawls deeper under his skin ;
Simply steeples her fingers by her chin,
âYou took too long, Viktor.â
And he knew somewhere,
that there would be a day this came.
Their contract was clear âeliminate the man of progress.â the only string attached to her unlimited funding, for his freedom of his vision, of his glorious evolution.
And he had let it go unmet long enough, drawn it out long enough.
He doesnât know when 10 years had turned to 15, then 20 and-
It was unavoidable,
That Chem-Baroness, Renata Glasc, who led her region of Zaun with an iron fist, would not eventually take matters into her own hands.
Still, he saw red, snarling a repetition straight from his throat.Â
âHE WAS MINE.â
The words were snarled, like a wild animal off its leash, and then, he felt her orders more than he heard them - chemtech soldiers who came up behind him, reaching to restrain his arms,
He whirled around with it,
cocky was she to think that her inhuman soldiers would be able to perform a sneak attack, something that in all their years not even the man of progress had ever succeeded at.
âDonât touch me !â
He was anything but a machine then, a wild, cornered animal, the laser of the hexclaw the equivalent of his teeth bared,
He didnât dare look back at Renata Glasc, as her smooth even voice continued,
âHe was getting in our way, Viktor.â
âAnd youâre being irrational.â
âDon't tell me what I am, I donât belong to you.â
He said as evenly as he could,
Of course, that wasnât the truth,
he did in every sense of the word,
every part of him ;
She made him what he was, as she so often liked to remind him.
Still the words felt good to say.
âYou promised me better than thisâ
and she was quite right, again, of course.
When did his emotional suppressants wear off ?
No- when did he last take them, that morning-
No, no, better yet when did his emotions become too grand for them to work, and when did he stop caring, when did he stop upgrading them-
when, why-
Why did he, the Machine Herald, feel and why was this stinging emotion now carving open his chest and eating the remnants of his heart alive,
why did that make him want to care again-
Oh..
It was why he stopped feeling in the first place, wasnât it ?
Because everything had hurt.
Everything⊠hurt.
He clenched his jaw behind his mask, strong enough to break his teeth had they still been completely human, A slip of his modulator, a tinge of his accent, a hard effort to keep his emotions out of his voice, to keep it as even as Renata had hers.
âYou will regret this.â
âWill I ?â
With that, failing to install any fear but overtaken by his vengeance, the Machine Herald had turned, walked out and vowed to never come back,
to obey anyone,
to be so pathetic as to give himself over, to be under anyoneâs control again.
Like wild tempests, both Viktor and Jayce have quite the temper to speak of, expect that those tempers are very circumstantially different - Viktorâs temper and tantrums are most likely to flare within the lab, cusses against calculations he canât solve or a desk he stabbed his toe on, or a frustration of his onsetting illness.
With people heâs rather more composed, whether by force of nature or will.
Jayce is the opposite, they balance each other well, but what I am getting at is more of Jayceâs lack of high upper society skills, he gets frustrated when someone doesnât understand him, he gets frustrated when they try to derail their goals into something else - walking that fine line in when to correct and when to reel himself in was a learning experience for him.
Now now, :Something he did a lot was admire Viktorâs collected nonchalant behaviour both with people in general but also kids.
During the summer months, back at the beginning of their journey, Viktor and Jayce would - no matter how busy they were, create toys and collect books and little gadgets that theyâd take down to the undercity to give out to any and all children who simply asked.
And that right there was the biggest learning curve for Jayce, both in patience, admiration and privilege - he may have been kind and nothing but a middle ground house name but he was still raised with manners he still belonged to Piltover.
Dealing with the little ruffians of the streets of the undercity were nothing short of exciting, exhilarating. exhausting and an inherently new, irritating, inconvenient experience.
During these sweaty summer months is where Jayce unlearnt a lot and equally learned a lot, finding love for little troublemakers (more or less.).
He had also, flabbergastedly ended up finding out just how much that shop, Benzoâs, had used to scam him back when heâd visited them for odds and ends,
he told this to Viktor,
who had spent an entire day laughing, clearly and as genuinely Jayce has had ever heard him then, at him about it,
with directing, snickering/teasing comments along the way such as :
âCareful Jayce, That kids about to pick your pockets.â
âThatâs an explosive Jayce.â
â!? *Handmade little toy given by a kid proceeds to explode in Jayceâs hands* Of- of sparkles, could you not have started with that !?â
âEh *shrugs in amusement* still an explosive.â
*Irritated sighs*
and eventually :
âYou do know that kid just scammed you donât you.â
*Jayce whoâs counting how much money they have left in his wallet.* âYes, actually, this time yes, theyâll uh, theyâll make better use of that than us, it was, extra.â
âWas it ?â
âUh, *slight wince* yeh more or less.â
Last little snipped but Jayce also found out about what it was like to breathe in the undercity through this and, a little more :
When he tried to, during the very first time, to put on the masks, protocol, or so he thought - that he had back when he had been somewhat of a mentor to Caitlyin Viktor immediately seized his wrist and shook his head,
âYouâll only scare them that or,â
Viktor made a face half way between a frown and a one sided smile,
âWeâll be turned into throwing practice, since we wonât be acting very scary.â
Jayce, skeptical but trusting obliged - of course, itâs not like Viktor wanted Jayce to suffocate nor like he was quite as used to the air as he used to be so theyâd always kept a mask behind their little makeshift cart and if needed theyâd take breaks to use it.
Mostly Jayce,
mostly during their first week,
(And they stayed in the upper parts of the fissures !.)
There had even been a time where half delirious heâd blurted,
âHow can you breathe like this !â
Coughing and eyes red at the corners.
Viktor simply hummed, re-arranging the toys they had on display and took an alarmingly big whiff of air,
It choked even in his lungs a little, wrecking his body with a little cough, but it was nothing compared to the struggle Jayce had faced, most especially in their previous couple days,
âIt had been worse when I was younger.â
Viktor simply said, matter of factly, tasting the words and the air on his tongue again, grimacing in a way Jayce couldnât quite read yet
âThat is, before Piltover took the executive decision to clear the air.â
âweâre clearing the air !?
Jayce has spluttered at him then, past the mask, in utter disbelief and with a pitiful look that came only with deepfounded innocence and equal amounts privilege,
âEeh,â
Viktor made a âso-soâ motion with his hands and bore the same grimace as he had the day they had first gotten Hextech to work, when Jayce had asked him âif he knew what he was doing.â
âMore or less,â
âthere is a ventilation system in place, the chemicals of the fissures are being redirected but as you can see,â
He gestures about, joking and bitter all the same
âItâs not like theyâre planting trees down here.
this far below, there is nothing to provide us with fresher air.â
âItâs.. a useless show or nicety. A mockery.â
So, I started watching Arcane- Jayvik headcanonâs time (Part 1) :
Contrary to popular belief Jayce was never very good with âhigh society.â
Long ago, back at the very beginning, Viktor used to accompany him, closely, to speeches and balls and whatever else or, if they skipped out theyâd skip out together, disappearing half way in, hiding from Heimerdinger and barely holding laughter in as they supported one another in whatever hiding spot theyâd found.
Anyways as I said though, Jayce was never particularly good with impressing or speaking with high society, what he knew best was to rattle off, excited about their ideas and theories and the future they were building.
Before Mel, it was Viktor whoâs guided Jayce.
Viktor whoâd molded and formed himself among scoffs and disdain in a way in which he, âthe undercity crippleâ , could be seen fit enough to stand next to the dean of the university as his assistant - this time, he must stand next to his partner.
He guided Jayce, or else, spoke for him, over him when his excitment got the better of him and Viktor could see, with an exasperated sigh that Jayce had long lost their possible sponsors and a change of topic or a glass of wine was well overdue.
That is, before Mel came along.
Despite his soft spoken speech, itâs not like Viktor hadnât continued to be disdained towards, by those who founds his disability to be a sin or knew of his upbringing - not that that was hard to guess once last nameâs were placed on the table, in a conversation ;
Jayce in a high moment of irritation had once claimed that he, that is, Viktor, belonged to the house Talis, which had left Viktor about as much a gaping fish as their esteemed guests, they agreed, later, after disagreeing once, clashing twice and disagreeing once more that, that just wasnât the way to go about it, not if they wished to build any hope of a future besides they couldnât just make liars of themselves-Jayce sheepishly relented and Viktor dropped the topic on the promise of it never happening again and on accounts of shoving away the funny feelings in his chest.
Back to our topic though, once Mel saw more potential in them, in Jayce, than she had at the beginning, potential that was actually at last beginning to to life, she took over.
Became Jayceâs forceful right hand, in Viktorâs eyes, dragging him more wherever she wished to place him than guiding him as he had been but it didnât really matter.
What mattered was that Jayce was blinded by the stars in his eyes and followed her like she was doing them a favour and in the end when biting back like a wounded dog and scuffling against her earned them nothing but trouble,
Viktor let her speak over him and began to draw away, dismissing invitations and sticking to what he knew best, equations and science and.. their laboratory.
I donât think we talk enough about how the entirety of Wicked is built on the irony of No One Mourns the Wicked. The musical exists because Glinda feels the need to tell Elphabaâs story, because she is in mourning and entirely alone in that. Glindaâs love is what creates the musical because no one mourns Elphaba except her, and that is an incredibly lonely place to be. Sheâs just lost two of the most important people to her, and all sheâs trying to do is make someone, anyone else see how important they were.
having feelings over just a little guy early teen Remus with big ears and round brown eyes hiding in the shadows of his taller friends, then growing into a long awkward noodle with still just as much little guy energy but now also with acne and more scars, plus bad posture because he still tries to melt into the background while hoping his friends will take all the spotlight
Whoâd want to be called a Black ? - A Jegulily short fic, sort of..
In an alternate universe Sirius Black marries Remus Lupin. Becoming Sirius Lupin and never lets the man or anyone call him anything else ever again.
In an even alternative Universe Regulus Black pulls the same thing on one Lily Evans and James Potter once they marry him, a quiet
âCall me that again.â
While his lovers halt their chatter and share a look and while James seems utterly confused, Lily smiles softly and practically coos at him.
âRegulus Potter.â
âFully.â
Regulus says not looking at either of them and James figures it out now too, a hand on his shoulder and Regulus swears he can feel the bright beams of his smile even if he doesnât see it - itâs in his voice.
âRegulus Arcturus Evans Potter.â
Regulus insisted on taking both of their names, though officially they are all known by the last name of Potter and things have just never felt so right in the world.
Now, lets roll this tape back to the beginning and talk about how I think both Black brothers love nothing more than to have been able to toss their old name away and take on the ones of those who have chosen to love them despite it all and who have taught them what love actually was always supposed to be.
Which is why Regulus insisted on honouring both the last name âEvansâ and the last name âPotter.â
Even if Lily had looked at him softly and told him that she would be a Potter too so there was no use to taking both, Regulus refused to budge and I donât know how he would communicate it but I think he would also somehow get across that he knows some deep part of Lily wishes she could keep the name - not in the way that implies James is forcing his on her, because god forbid but in the way of, if only things had gone better with her family she would have - in a different world so Regulus will take it, he is willing to carry it for her because unlike she, he associates nothing but warmth and her with the last name Evans. Same way he does James and Love to the last name Potter.
But while I do think the change of names and the severing of ties means all the world to both of them - I also think that Regulus probably had a lot of harder time throwing his away than Sirius ever did.
Sirius being Sirius did it without hesitation, the moment he married there was no questions, not when heâd thrown the name âLupinâ around from the moment him and Remus had began dating.
But for Regulus, it was a question, the name engraved so far into his skin he was unsure he could ever let it go and erase himself from his family tree, his blood-tie completely.
And that had certainly warranted several talks and yet still, the first time Regulus gets called âRegulus Potterâ it isnâf even officially, it isnât on a wedding day or after or whatever :
Itâs on a quiet night he spends with his lovers in Jamesâs room where Lily and James are quarreling lightly for James has been pestering him about how much he will simply love the change of last names and he should trust his guts on the matter or just simply asking him what he wants because James would love for a decision to be made, heâs always been not so patient and Lily rounded on him after a while to give Regulus the time he needs to decide and that James shouldnât insist simply because (and they all know this is the case) heâd clearly love for both of them to flaunt his last name around, the idea has simply always made Jamesâs heart soar higher than anything and now that Remus and Sirius are married he just wants, he wants these people heâs loved so deeply to be his.
And while Lily quarrels, James boasts that Lily doesnât mind being âLily Potter.â
âRegulus Potter, come on, you like it Reg, I know you do.â
and Regulusâs mouth falls open in response,
Pathetically, if you were to ask him.
Breath stuttering - flushed in the cheeks because he does he really really does and he thinks maybe he can throw that wretched last name of âBlackâ away afterall - and the moment is silent like that, no one talking, no one moving until Lily jokes from her space sitting away from them on the bed - gaze on the two man unbreaking âCould you two make this look any more obscene ?â
Itâs almost a challenge rather than a joke even and Regulus flusters more though he smiles and James simply sits up, straddling his lap - he can tell heâs stuck his tongue out at her and he seems triumphant even though Regulus has not verbally agreed to a single thing âI told you Sirius was right, he told me I better insists till his wants got through to his thick skull or heâd bury me to an early grave.â
And Regulus groans, picking up a pillow from beside him, whacking James across the head and murmuring âWhat did I say about talking about my brother while I am in bed with you.â
Lily Laughs, James shrieks, Regulus owes an unwitting thank you to his brother, apparently.
For knowing him better than he knows himself.
Later regulus does voice his agreement verbally though he doesnât really need to, not with them and tells Lily he will take her last name too if she is willing for him to, he will completely toss away who he once was.
Now a round of bonus thoughts for this particular au :
-I think Sirius and Remus married young, laughably young but it is why he is know as Sirius Lupin way before Regulus even gets to consider the taste of his name with a different last name on his mouth.
-I get this feeling that James and Lily might have married each other before they married Regulus idk this just has me like đ„ș.
-As I said both Black brothers adore having thrown the chains of their family physically away. It is liberating like nothing ever could be and if anyone ever tries to call them Black again they will both simply insists that they have no clue what that person is talking about.
If the person insists back they will both snap with the same fire in their eyes :
âI am afraid I am Regulus Evans Potter.â
âSirius Lupin, Sir.â
And there is just no argument with either for anyone to get it wrong again.
THOUGH, calling the brothers by the wrong name is still better than calling them the wrong name _infront of their lovers_ if you do that, you will have hell to pay.
For Regulus and Sirius have never truly belonged to the Black family name that they chose not and never will they do so again.