Meeting Boy

I hate my job.

[meetingboy]

The Client has seen a big dropoff in email open rates, and to make up for it, they want us to send even MORE email. True story.

[meetingboy]

INNOVATE! Use AI to write posts with no effort for LinkedIn that no one will read.

[meetingboy]

I am out of the office this week. You had literally ALL YEAR to ask me for something so don’t you dare text me now.

[funnytwittertweets]

[snarkymeetingnotes]

😭

[meetingboy]

Sorry, we can’t join this important client call since IT forced a 75-minute update onto all of our computers without warning.

[meetingboy]

Here are 10 things that will help you get YOUR NEXT GREAT JOB, but turn out to be just recycled platitudes and links but help me exploit the algorithm for my own gain.

1. Something you already know

2. Platitude

3. Something Ben Franklin said but rephrased to sound brand new

4. Vague way of saying “don’t be lazy”

5. Toxic positivity but not called that

6. Aphorism

7. Something that amounts to “spam your friends”

8. Cat poster that says “Believe”

9. Buzzword

10. Follow me for more recycled garbage

[toastbutteregg]

[meetingboy]

2022: Your hours have been cut at the burger place

[meetingboy]

The CEO had BEDS BROUGHT INTO THE OFFICE, but don’t worry, it’s not for sexy stuff. It’s just totally normal business stuff like keeping all your employees there overnight to do UNPAID WORK. God bless America!

[meetingboy]

“WHY DIDN’T YOU WARN ME THIS COULD HAPPEN???” at the top of a long thread where, yes, I did warn the team about this issue a month ago. I think I’ll frame it.

[meetingboy]

That awkward moment when the CEO tells everyone he's bullish on the agency's future, and then the next week 20% of people get laid off. He was either lying or clueless, and at this point I don't even know which I'd prefer.

[meetingboy]

[meetingboy]

Why can't we find someone to fill this role?

Maybe the 75-bullet job description that seems to ask for everything ever done in the history of advertising has clued people into the fact that you are an unreasonable boss. Let's start there.

[wormliness]

please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)

[meetingboy]

After a controversial few months, Untitled Document (1) ended up in Witness Protection as

Client Job Number Project Name 2022_ver22_final_final_FINAL_for_release.PDF

The End

[meetingboy]

Given that all of our Senior Vice Presidents are douchebags, I wouldn't be surprised if they screened for it in the job description

[meetingboy]

I don’t think you can call yourself a leader if nearly every day you see something and say “it isn’t perfect so I guess I have to do it myself” instead of teaching people how it’s supposed to be done.

[adtothebone]

[meetingboy]

In the past 15 years I’ve had not one but two bosses and a coworker who monologued like supervillains about how they were going to outsmart their rivals at the company (they never did). They thought I was impressed, but really all I could think about was how they sounded like the bad guy in The Incredibles at much lower stakes.

[meetingboy]

I used to say I’d know if it was worth working for someone if I could see how they treat the waitress and what kind of tip they leave, but I now think it’d be just as helpful to see how they treat people when shopping on Black Friday.