[peoplegettingkindamadatfood]

[superchat]

[yimra-deactivated20250209]

Jimmy literally

[glamorousgamine]

#they’re not technicalities!#they’re the law!#cops say it’s a technicality because they didn’t do their due diligence#if a cop finds evidence in a place he shouldn’t have had access to without a warrant#and the case or that evidence gets tossed because of it#the cop and media will say it’s a technicality#but it’s not!#it’s a constitutional right they failed to adhere to!#and the penalty is that evidence which was found illegally can’t be used 

As usual, @socialjust-ish leaves the gold in the tags and it’s up to me to mine them.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2023, in May specifically, I’m 30 and for the record it rules, I had a lil aging crisis and now I’m past that and I’m just like goddamn it is great being in my thirties and I had a wonderful birthday NO THANKS TO YOU GUYS

actually, much thanks to you guys. Some of you were inspiringly crazy about this post. Frankly you worked harder for this than I did, and your efforts were touching and inspiring and funny and yet we STILL FAILED. GUYS WE GOTTA PUT OUR EYES BACK ON THE BALL. We have ehhh about six months before I turn the big three-one, which is actually the most important birthday because now you’re in your thirties For Real, and I personally can’t think of a better way to ring in my 31st year of life than by trying and failing to do something that I was hoping to knock out in my twenties.

[zingring]

Good luck, kiddo

[sasquatch-spotted]

Are you satisfied, op? When will it be enough?

[andhumanslovedstories]

I feel I couldn’t have been clearer about the number at which this will be enough

[machine-saint]

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

[madnessofmen]

wait it gets better

[politijohn]

Source

Interesting to call this “confiscating” when it’s just making the rich pay their fair share, especially considering all the stolen wealth from the bottom 99% and historic tax evasion.

[hempkitty]

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

[gremlin-pattie]

reblog to let prev know you’re proud of them

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

people think "adult jokes" in kids shows are just sexual jokes failing to realize that sokka telling toph "you have to work here for longer if you want to qualify for vacation time" is the funniest thing i've ever heard. i don't think the southern water tribe even HAS that kind of economy

[dunmertitty]

“what if people transition and then regret it?” ok. let’s do that with everything. no more straight marriages until the heterosexual divorce rate is below the detransition rates

[littlepawz]

“When she applied to run in the Boston Marathon in 1966 they rejected her saying: “Women are not physiologically able to run a marathon, and we can’t take the liability.” Then exactly 50 years ago today, on the day of the marathon, Bobbi Gibb hid in the bushes and waited for the race to begin. When about half of the runners had gone past she jumped in. She wore her brother’s Bermuda shorts, a pair of boy’s sneakers, a bathing suit, and a sweatshirt. As she took off into the swarm of runners, Gibb started to feel overheated, but she didn’t remove her hoodie. “I knew if they saw me, they were going to try to stop me,” she said. “I even thought I might be arrested.” It didn’t take long for male runners in Gibb’s vicinity to realize that she was not another man. Gibb expected them to shoulder her off the road, or call out to the police. Instead, the other runners told her that if anyone tried to interfere with her race, they would put a stop to it. Finally feeling secure and assured, Gibb took off her sweatshirt. As soon as it became clear that there was a woman running in the marathon, the crowd erupted—not with anger or righteousness, but with pure joy, she recalled. Men cheered. Women cried. By the time she reached Wellesley College, the news of her run had spread, and the female students were waiting for her, jumping and screaming. The governor of Massachusetts met her at the finish line and shook her hand. The first woman to ever run the marathon had finished in the top third.”

[161afa1312acab]

[stochastic-shieldmaiden]

Astronomy I-

[anon-e-has-a-tmblr]

Archaeology: it is mandatory, it is ritualic.

[beowulf22121]

Fun fact about archeology!

if it's a rock and you lick it, your tongue got a little dirty.

If it's a bone, it sticks to your tongue.

Bones remember being inside a body where they could be wet all the time, and they want to return to that state.

[shortgremlinman]

Cheers science side of Tumblr. Never say that again though

[philosoverted-deactivated202006]

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

[systlin]

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

[gallusrostromegalus]

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

[filthyprotozoan]

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

[hubris-i]

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

[fridge246]

tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc. 

wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades

[jemthecrystalgem]

Sorry it’s what to elves

[dvandom]

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.

[endreal]

Legolas said fuck the horizon

[divinegaeity-deactivated2023101]

God I fucking love high fantasy

[politicalprof]

Well, you know, some bathroom graffiti offers insight.

[madfishmonger]

Red marker handwriting on a bathroom wall. Text reads:

“Boss made a dollar Granddad made a dime But that was a poem From a simpler time.

Boss made a thousand Gave pa a cent But that penny paid the mortgage Or at least it paid the rent

Now Boss makes a million And gives us jack Smugly blames the workers For the labor that he lacks.”

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

[cryptotheism]

If companies are allowed to sue you for losses during a strike, there is now no longer an incentive to not simply burn down your place of work.

[cryptotheism]

For most people, there's really no difference between say, 15,000$ of debt, and 200,000$ of debt. They are equally life-ruining sums of money. Why not, you know, leave that gas stove on? Cost the company some real money? Maybe if it happens enough times they won't be able to buy insurance.

[changingnikkiwi]

[catchymemes]

This was posted on a ‘second hand finds’ Facebook page…

…only to be followed by this amazing message.

The roller coaster ride started.

With a happy ending…

…and a sweet poem to finish.

[catchymemes]

[transdreamsicle]

imagine if the asgardians knew it was loki and not odin bc odin suddenly stopped losing his temper over dumb shit and was behaving more like frigga so they were like “oh, loki, it’s gotta be”

[transdreamsicle]

“we told him one of the lesser colonies began a revolution and declared independence and all he did was drink an entire glass of wine and say ‘good for them’ and then he wrote another play”

[see-arcane]

Thor: Look, Odin was Loki the whole time!

Asgardians:

[gamebird]

Especially funny if you think the Asgardians thought this was some planned thing by Odin so he could take a vacation or go on a meditational retreat. ‘Hey, Loki, my son. I need you to cover for me while I go on a mission. Don’t do anything weird.’ ‘Sure thing, Father. Heheheheh.’ Odin sighs, but leaves anyway. The Asgardians notice it’s Loki right away, but play along with it because obviously this had to be Odin’s idea.