megalowkeylee

Personal blog, multi-fandom - BBC Merlin, Teen Wolf, The Good Place, and really anything else I stumble upon and like!

[truntechgodhead]

every time i look at the mystery gang i have this like visceral feeling that someone is missing. but nobody ever is. who are they. what happened to them

[truntechgodhead]

logically i know this is them. these are the only people in the mystery gang. fred, daphne, velma, shaggy, and scooby. thats the 5 of them. but something deep within my lizard brain is telling me theres a 6th member that has been, for unknown reasons, banished from this timeline and our collective memory as a species

[cosmic-aria]

s͡҉͚͓͚͇̱̫͙́c̴̱̥̪̘̮̀r̸̵̨̺̝̹͈̗̠̬̟͉̹̬͇͖͙͕͎̜͉á̦͎͉̫̗͔̝̲͔͢͢͞p̶̢̭͍͈͍̻͇̬͓̮̙͉̪̻̰͉̪̻̗͡p̸̴̸̢̰̪̥͍̩̦̱̱̦͓͙͇͎̤͕̳y̧̠̟̟̟̤̗̲͚̙̪̮̺̱̯͔̱̗͘͠ ̷̥͉̰͔̩̤̯͕̲̩̦̝̦̬̙̲̜̣̥́͝d͏̧͝͏̰͓̜ͅo͕̣͎͚̫̟͎̕ò̴̥̦͙̟̹̦̣͙͇̞͖̘̺͙͜

[asmodeanmelancholia]

[medium-guy]

If your English teacher doesn’t know that you are gay and/or a commie after you write an essay, are you even writing an essay

[snommelp]

So, I’ve been pulled over a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. And I’ve also been in a couple of cars that got pulled over. And let me tell you, if you were actually doing something wrong, the officer doesn’t make any small talk, just straight into “I clocked you doing 70 in a 55.” The only time I’ve ever gotten the “do you know why I pulled you over?” was the time when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I got let go even though he insisted to the end that I was doing 87 in a 70 (white privilege at work).

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.

But there’s another trap, that I’ve heard of but haven’t yet experienced. It’s “do you know how fast you were going?” With that one, they’re hoping you’ll say no, because then they can name whatever speed they want – you just said you didn’t know how fast you were going, if you deny the speed they name then you’re lying to them.

[themightytej]

Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

Reblog to save a life

[dankmemeuniversity]

[bairnsidhe]

On this bitch of an Earth as it is in Heaven.

[juchestoner-deactivated20220412]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[hayleyhearts]

that’s just a regular platypus???

[friendlyoceanmower]

[thegreenpea]

PERRY THE PLATYPUS ?!?!

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

how many hands you got

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

allow me illustrate you

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

that’s still four people

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

i truly can’t make this any clearer

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

don’t know what you’re on about. will smith and slightly wider blue will smith have been married for years. they’re a hollywood love story

[naomster]

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

[nodaybuttodaytodefygravity]

If we lose tumblr how will we ever replace these posts in which every reply feels like a punch in the face

[luvzuko]

villain, on the phone: we have him

zuko: who

villain: your boyfriend, sokka of the water tribe

zuko: oh

villain: ... “oh”?

zuko: yeah, you don’t have him, he has you. good luck *hangs up*

[transrightssokka]

sokka, already out of his restraints, raiding the villain’s fridge: was that my boyfriend? 

[luvzuko]

sokka: aw, you should’ve let me say hi! anyway, if you’re looking for your guards, they’re in chains in the basement. now i have a date to get to, peace

[whitepeopletwitter]

[the-perks-of-being-black]

[tchaikovskaya]

“dont worry about vosotros” is the “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” of spanish class

[tchaikovskaya]

my spanish teacher in high school was from cuba and he told us to ignore vosotros because nobody uses it and i said “but they still use it in spain, right?” to which he replied “okay, nobody that matters”

[tchaikovskaya]

well they were right and they should say it

[raccoonhearteyes]

trying to plan out actual plot when all you want is to write the pining flirty fluffy parts:

[funkysquirrels]

[anarchetypalarchive]

sometimes i’m like “i should buy some orange juice! i love it i don’t know why i never have it in the house” and then i get some and i remember it’s because some kind of dormant Scurvy Prevention Instinct activates within me like a sleeper agent trained to seek and destroy, except it’s just me standing in front of the open fridge at two in the morning chugging juice straight out of the carton like a crazed citrus gremlin 

[cryptidquinn-deactivated2021071]

when im playing out a daydream scenario in my head and i catch myself trying to rush to The Good Part™:

[zironiehorizon-deactivated20200]

I did not need to be called out like this

[mysharona1987]

[fishoutofcamelot]

Yknow, it's mighty convenient that the Round Table already had the precise number of chairs they needed in "The Coming of Arthur".

Like, imagine if they show up at the Castle of Ancient Kings and Arthur's prepared his fancy pre-battle speech about equality, but there's only 8 chairs and 9 people. What are you gonna do, make Percival stand? Tell Leon to squat down so it looks like he's sitting in a chair? Let Merlin sit on the the table? Have Lancelot sit in Elyan's lap? Watch Gwaine dangle from the chandelier? Ask Gwen to sit on the floor? Play musical chairs and the one who loses doesn't get to be knighted?