I really can’t believe we all grew up together on this goddamn bitch of a website

tannertan36
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@meinink
I really can’t believe we all grew up together on this goddamn bitch of a website
once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out
first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone
im fucking crying
resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that
I got curious, so without looking up the reddit thread because I hate reddit, I went to the list of Barbie's careers. Because of course people have dated lists of those.
Her first 28 years are fairly tame, until we reach 1987's Canadian Mountie Barbie. Reasonable odds for a cop, even if they're not a USAmerican cop.
in 1991, we get US Air Force Pilot Barbie, US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie, US Navy Petty Officer Barbie. There's also 1992's US Army Barbie, if those guys were feeling left out. I'm also ignoring the 1989 US Army Barbie because that one is 100% a stolen valour runway look, not a uniform.
Going to run my autism over those four.
US Navy Petty Officer Barbie is wearing quartermaster's rating insignia, so no combat for her.
US Army Barbie is wearing an airborne maroon beret with no rank insignia that I could see, but she's loaded down with medical supplies, so I'm gonna say combat medic, but only as many kills as her other medical endeavours.
US Air Force Pilot Barbie is wearing a jacket that looks like a Top Gun tie-in. The unit patch is just the USAF coat of arms, and the name patch says she's a Captain. VERY confusingly, the plane on the box art is an F-5, which had just recently been retired. But its USAF usage was almost all in the OPFOR Aggressor squadrons, which is... "come play enemy planes for our training exercises".
US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie is wearing E-5 Sergeant's insignia, and three medals (she's in dress uniform). To my eye, and allowing for badly printed colours, looks like Navy and Marine Achievement Medal, Marine Corps Good Conduct Medal, and the South West Asia Service Medal. The first two are fairly obvious "Barbie Is Well Behaved" stuff, but uh. That last one though?
USMC Barbie was in Desert Storm.
And if she was in a support role there, well, 1993 gave us USAmerican Cop Barbie. Case closed.
Is it important that she killed with her own hands? Because she has been the US president twice, overlapping with HW and Biden.
#which suggest that president barbie left the Oval Office to participate in Desert Storm#or arranged for herself to receive the medal without participating#both scenarios provide dizzying implications about Barbie’s whole deal
I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby
English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son
I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”
So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid
OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6
this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler
not really sure how to get her out though
for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her
everytime i want something i should be shot in the head
Shownu ✧ N the Front M Countdown 250904
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SCHITT'S CREEK | 2.01 FINDING DAVID
my favorite mashup emoji is this one and i wish it was real so bad
SINNERS (2025) dir. Ryan Coogler
"who said that" is a powerful spell that casts a defensive bubble around your most vulnerable thoughts