Garfbin

Back in the building again

[garfbin]

About Me

30-something.

PNW born and raised.

She/any pronouns, I don't care.

A lot of Mass Effect, other games, and general media thoughts. If there's yearning, I'm there.

Do not interact with me if you are a minor or if I know you in real life.

Sometimes I write on ao3

Sometimes I post art on Tumblr

[scumashling]

[tropacant]

have some shitty chaotic pride flags ^^

check out the rest of the flags on my profile since tumblr has a 10 image limit lol as well as the fixed versions of a few of these cuz I’m big dumb

[xxtc-96xx]

it's that time again, kids

[garfbin]

Two more kisses will have to wait! I have shortcake to eat and Mamma Mia to cry at!

[mounted-archer]

Still doing MerMay, just in June

Did some color pallets today for quick work

[garfbin]

14 please I'm in a MOOD today. 👀 Scary Shep would be interesting, but your choice, my dear!

A bit late but I hope it delivers!

When he came up to her cabin and the doors slid open, she was only lit by the fishtank. Her skin was already so pale that the water's reflection turned her face blue. Her lips were always chapped, but now they were peeling and cracked as though she hadn't had water in days. Garrus wondered if this was what she looked like in Alchera's orbit. He took his seat next to her on the leather couch and she didn't respond with words, but with the weight of her body slumped against his.

"That bad?" Not the most tactful way he could have started the conversation. He winced. 

His lack of decorum didn't seem to phase her. "Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet. But, Garrus-" She turned to face him now. "I don't think they'll believe me this time."

He considered her words. For all the love he held for her, for all the time he had spent rediscovering the facets of her humanity, even he had to admit this was going to look bad. There weren't words in his language to comfort this kind of sorrow. He doubted hers covered it, either.

Instead of scrambling for words, he let his crest find her forehead. She rolled into the movement, well-familiar with it by this point. Once her lips met his mouth, she lingered. She was slow and gentle, but her hand landed on his leg like she was trying to keep him from floating away.

Garrus knew this shouldn't have been her priority. She should have been contacting a JAG, applying medigel to the burns on her arms, sitting under Chakwas' watchful eye with a drip in her arm. But he felt the way her fingers pressed into his thigh and it was like the urgency transferred from her body to his. He deepened the kiss as he began to tug at her shirt, and tried to ignore the feeling that a timer had started.

[that-wildwolf]

A Queer Reading of Mass Effect - Garrus Vakarian and Demisexuality

Despite the title this is really not a structured formal paper, more like just some rambly analysis from someone who is both queer and deeply obsessed with these fictional characters.

An obvious disclaimer is that this is my headcanon and personal interpretation, etc, etc. There are many ways to read this character and relationships, and this is just one of them, etc etc. You know the drill. Under no circumstances am I saying I'm right and everyone else is wrong, just presenting this particular reading of the character.

So. Garrus Vakarian. Best sniper boyfriend, bad boy turian, Archangel. Also, unintentional but great demisexual representation.

Now there's really no way to analyse all of Garrus' romantic relationships (the only one we know of from his past is his own account and that one is also only presented as a hookup/one night stand. I will return to this later. I think I will, at least. I don't have a plan here.) but there are two romantic relationships he can enter over the course of the three games: one with Commander Shepard or with Tali'Zorah.

Now, the latter is… not handled the best way in the games, in my opinion, and speaks of a wider issue with aphobia in not just the gaming industry but in media in general, but that's its own separate discussion. For the purposes of this analysis, however, I will be looking at Garrus's possible relationship with Tali. It's clear those two are good friends. It's also important to note here that out of those two relationships, neither starts as romantic and rather is built first as a friendship and only eventually and potentially turns romantic or sexual much later on. The earliest Garrus can enter a romantic relationship is (though this is depending on playstyle) near the end of the second game of the trilogy, which makes more than half of the relationship we see him have with Shepard as more platonic than romantic (although admittedly those lines are rather blurry in the second game. More on that later.)

Back to Tali. They are friends first and know each other extremely well. I will not be going very deeply into this relationship because of how I feel about the way BioWare handled it, but for the sake of full transparency in this analysis, the game itself does present that relationship (also interesting side note while we're on the subject: out of the only two women we see Garrus "dating", neither is his species) as based on their friendship and connection rather than Garrus being physically attracted to Tali (in fact, it can be argued he didn't even know what she looked like at all prior to the two of them hooking up). Even though this is presented as more of a stress relief or friends with benefits situation than an actual romantic relationship, it is clear those two only chose each other because they were already close friends not because they saw each other as physically attractive.

This very nicely brings us (back?) to Garrus and his relationship with Shepard. Due to the way the games are structured and with Shepard being the main character, this is obviously going to be the largest section of this analysis, not just because of my personal emotional investment in this relationship but because of the largest abundance of material to analyse here.

The way Shepard and Garrus's relationship starts is… interesting. For the entirety of the first game, their dynamic is closer to that of a mentor and mentee and eventually of two friends, and there is very little hints of any seuxual/romantic feelings between those two.

ID: Garrus might have started to have feelings of some sort for Shepard at this point.

This base of friendship and mutual respect is extremely important to keep in mind especially with what comes later. The Shepard/Garrus relationship (from here on now referred to as 'Shakarian' for brevity's sake) begins in a way that is very different from most other video game romances (and most romances, really). It starts with Garrus stating outright that he is not attracted to Shepard. Now, there is definitely a lot more going on here than just taking what he says at face value, but it is also important to note that he has no reason to lie to Shepard here and in all likelihood, he truly believes what he's saying here.

Shepard proposes sex, essentially asking Garrus how he feels about adding benefits to their friendship. Throughout that whole conversation, neither of them highlights physical attraction. In fact, the way they're acting would suggest that's not even part of the equation here, or not a very important one at least. What they talk about instead is trust and respect.

ID: Shepard saying "I don't want something closer to home. I want you. I want someone I can trust."

Garrus agrees to Shepard's proposition not by saying he's always liked her or that they would make a good couple or anything like that. He says she's his best friend. Again the friendship is highlighted here so much and especially in direct opposition with the lack of physical attraction. As they go ahead with this, they're constantly talking about this connection they have — I want you, I want someone I can trust, you're my closest friend, if we're about to die I want to have a moment to cherish that's just the two of us… It's clear this is about more than just sex, to the both of them, but the feelings shown here do not come from physical attraction but from emotional connection.

I could analyse the Mass Effect 2 Shakarian romance scene to the moon and back and still have things to say, especially with regard to the demisexual reading of Garrus's character, but this post is running long as it is. Garrus is nervous and awkward and emotionally vulnerable. Any remaining conviction that this is about stress relief is at this point ultimately shattered.

Then cue Mass Effect 3. After six months apart, it is clear the relationship between Shepard and Garrus is… different from what we saw at the end of the previous game. The way they interact now, even before eventually officially reaffirming their relationship, is more unambiguously romantic. The physical touch between them is very deliberate, with particular attention given to their hands: they touch, shake and hold hands, tenderly cup each other's cheeks. It is clear at this point to the characters perhaps as much as to the audience that this is no longer about stress relief (and that's assuming that's all it ever was at any point, which can also be argued was not the case). Along with this deepened emotional connection between them, so does develop the way Garrus talks to and about Shepard. There are parts of Mass effect 3 where Garrus seems fully confident in the relationship and it does not seem to just be banter or joking. As he starts seeing Shepard as not just his friend but as his girlfriend, so does change the way he looks at her not as a human but as a woman. As a beautiful woman, even — something he would not have thought of her at the beginning of their relationship.

I would also be amiss if I didn't mention the way Garrus acts in the Citadel DLC and contrast it to his behaviour from Mass Effect 2 in particular. While definitely not "canon" in the way the games themselves are, the DLCs are also, for better or worse, officially released content in the universe of Mass Effect. (In the case of the Citadel DLC, thankfully mostly for better.) Everything in here should be taken with a grain of salt, especially with the romanceable characters, as the foremost role of this DLC is as something of fan service meant to give the series a happier sendoff than the actual ending. That being said, it is very interesting to see Garrus at a point in time (unspecified but although canonically this takes place before Cronos Station, the characters for the most part act more free and familiar and could be argued as though this takes place post canon — while I do not subscribe to this reading of the Citadel DLC, I thought it important to also point that out) where he and Shepard have been in a relationship for a longer period of time and he feels more confident in both the relationship and his role as Shepard's partner.

Garrus in the Citadel DLC joyfully asserts himself as Shepard's boyfriend (a word he only describes himself with once in the canon Mass Effect 3 if I'm correct) and proclaims his affection for her out loud and repeatedly. What's particularly interesting to note here is how often he refers to her being beautiful or attractive here. The "nice outfit" line is not exclusive to the Garrus romance, so it would feel dishonest to include it in an analysis of this character specifically, but there is a lot Garrus says about Shepard that other characters do not. He brings it back to how lucky he is to be with her and implies others might see her as a desirable partner. The "I love your hair and I'm pretty damned partial to the rest of you too" line always stood out to me. This can be read as just a cute nod to him finding her most alien features attractive, but it also speaks to him seeing her as attractive in general. The "hell if I know" conversation where he talks about how good she looked wearing her fancy outfit at the casino also comes across as genuine. It's fascinating to see him so forthright about his attraction to her at this point in time when put in contrast with him in Mass Effect 2 being so forthright about the lack of that attraction.

It is clear, very clear, that throughout their relationship Garrus grows to deeply love Shepard not because of her alienness or in spite of it, but completely separately from it. He acknowledges that she is human and that it is not something he is attracted to, but cares about her so deeply that it does not factor into the decision to agree to her proposition and entering into a relationship with her. The relationship they build together is one that is shown to be built on trust and mutual respect, in fact more so than any actual "feelings", which is admittedly a departure from what might instantly come to mind when one considers love, especially between two fictional characters. But aside from their confidence in their connection and in each other, there's another thing that grows in this relationship, once given time: Garrus's attraction to Shepard, something he initially was striaghtforward and realistic (Garrus, ever the realist, ever saying it as it is) about in saying that he did not see her that way. Then, giving time to their relationship and after letting their connection deepen, letting their emotional bond become stronger, Garrus finds himself attracted to Shepard not just emotionally but physically as well.

And definitely some might argue that after being with a human sexually and romantically for some time, Garrus has simply started to see humans as potentially desirable too, but we never see Garrus interested in any humans besides Shepard (RIP Chloe Michel's unrequited crush on this guy) so there is really no evidence either way here. And there are many ways to read this characterisation other than "this character is demisexual", but that is certainly the impression I am getting from the way this relationship progresses and the fact that he never mentions being attracted to anyone else, neither Tali in their possible brief hookup near the end of ME3 nor the scout from his story. In fact, he doesn't seem to pay much attention to phsyical appearance of potential partners whatsoever until his relationship with Shepard grows more intimate to allow him to find those feelings for her along the way despite not having them to start with. And that, at the very least, reads as extremely demisexual to me.

Happy Pride!

[that-wildwolf]

[garfbin]

Number 6 for the kiss prompt please! Any of your chars.

For you? You get Vetryder ❤️

Vetra Nyx had two morning alarms. The one she set on her omni-tool had been set to 0500 galactic standard time since she started caring for Syd. The second alarm was a recent addition, and an unintentional one. Because these days, whenever Vetra's omni-tool began to chime, the tiny human next to her would start to groan louder and louder until the offending noise was shut off.

Today, Vetra was kind of on Ryder's side. They had both stayed up long past their usual bedtime celebrating the Archon's defeat. Celebratory champagne showers with the group had turned into a sexy clean-up effort as a couple, and as a result, they hadn't gotten into bed until 0200.

The groaning at her side was becoming less garbled, and more focused on sounding out Vetra's name. If she opened her eyes, she was sure her girlfriend's expression would be more anguished than it had been after the two times she'd died. Vetra tapped at her omni-tool until it stopped beeping, and she was rewarded with a kiss on the shoulder. Ryder's lips stayed put, and her sleepy objections were replaced with a snore. Vetra carefully rolled until she could feel hair on her mouth plates, and as she drifted back to sleep, she thought about waking up to kisses instead of groans.

[memewhore]

[spleenyz]

[fallout-lou-begas]

[kermittingacrime]

ask and you shall receive.

[gayvampyr]

[circusheart]

I do think the post that's like "when they torture you to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂🤣" is one of the most succinct and foundational analyses of interpersonal violence and conflict that had ever been written

[garfbin]

9, scary shep

He set the datapad on the desk at his side and then pulled her against his keel. Her arms snaked around his waist almost immediately, pullling him tight. Her mouth landed on his and his subvocals yelled his surprise. But she pulled herself away so quickly that he could barely catch the iron that lingered on her lips. 

"That was so - Garrus, I'm-" Shepard stood in front of him, seven feet tall and cowering like she had done something wrong. He couldn't let that stand. 

He reached over and pulled her back to him. She met his mouth again in the middle, but didn't stop there. Their momentum carried him backward, until he was nearly doubled over backward against his console. Even then he felt her wrap her thigh over his hip spur as though she was dedicated to occupying the same physical space as him. He let his hips buck up at the friction and he was rewarded by the hum of a low moan against his mouth. 

Garrus had never kissed an unplated mouth before. He had always thought the act looked like the parties involved were trying to eat each other. As Shepard slipped her tongue into his mouth, he thought that maybe being devoured by her wouldn't be so bad. 

[slermkmd]

she ra fandom is alive..?

[reineydraws]

saw a meme so pappy-coded, it had me drawing him again after months haha :')

daisuke w the og ethics + the og meme under the cut

[capnmarvl]

5 for the kiss prompts please - dealer's choice of characters - but only if you want to and absolutely in your own time!

I had too o7 Featuring Soup’s disaster golden retriever Caesus

5 - hands on the other person’s back, fingertips pressing under their top, drawing gentle circles against that small strip of bare skin that make them break the kiss with a gasp

I’m going to get fucking fired. It was not a thought he had had before. Varian Azer was many things, but a piss poor detective had never been one of them. Surly, sure. Mouthy, without a doubt. Overconfident, he’d earned it. Bad at his fucking job? Never.

And yet he stalked away from a meeting with his boss with a stack of reprimands and the Citadel’s shittiest PIP in existence. His parting gift had been eyes that nearly looked sympathetic and a “whatever has gotten into you, Azer, figure it out.”

Talons closed around his wrist and yanked him sideways through a door he had never noticed before. He barely had time to register the sudden darkness or the sharp banging of his fringe against steel shelves before a tongue was halfway down his throat. The talons moved from his wrist to his waist and clung to him in a way that was going to leave permanent pinpricks in his otherwise pristine dress uniform. Spirits there was something intoxicating about being wanted. 

It was a simple move, hook ankle just below spur, press (not so gently) into opposite shoulder, pivot on planted foot, slam would-be-assailant into the same shelves he had just banged his fringe on. For a little extra flair, he snatched the assaulting talons that had grabbed his wrist and pinned them over their heads.  The free talons continued to shove at his shirt and it was only when they finally pushed desperately, gently, too fucking gently, against the exposed small of his back did he break the kiss. 

There was an intimacy he played as dominance in the way he pressed his crest to the unfortunately handsome other man’s forehead, “Needy this afternoon are we, Caes?”

Some logical, un-sad part of his brain knew that fucking his workplace situationship in a broom closet of C-Sec headquarters was a bad idea. But then again, what was his life if not a series of increasingly bad ideas?

[ytumamatambien2001]

[okmurph]

She’s so beautiful I’m gonna pass awayyyyyy

[thesociologicalcinema]

Some of the principle actors of the stonewall rebellion

[allthinky]

I believe Miss Major is still alive and kicking in Little Rock and you can donate to her if you do a little research. She’s amazing.