[i-said-im-a-fucking-star]

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

[spiderbasil]

like im okay with being medium attractive and having a moderately clean house. instagram reels just bounce off of me like water off a ducks back

[liittlecreatures1985]

out and about and my phone is at 15% battery: better not use it so it doesn’t die on me

5 minutes later: googling average gas mileage in 1950

[thiingamajiig]

different, but the same

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

very disappointing when someone says "the bird app" and for one lovely moment I think they are talking about Merlin Bird ID by Cornell Lab, the free app that allows you to identify birds by appearance or sound, make a list of birds you have seen, and explore all the birds native to your region.... and then I realize they are talking about twitter.

[womanguy]

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, from “Culpable”, Instructions for Traveling West

[nepofledgling]

imagine if the person who turns you into a vampire turns out to be really annoying and you’re stuck with them

[nepofledgling]

[c3rvida3]

I'm not a prayin' man, but the night I found out my at-the-time-fiancé had been sending sex horny nasty horny sex asks to my friend on THIS VERY WEBSITE, I sat in the car in the parking lot of an abandoned church and watched a family of deer play in the snow, and it didn't quite feel like a sign because that part of Pennsylvania was mostly deer and abandoned buildings and snow, but it felt nice, and once the tears stopped, I looked down at my phone and my other friend had sent me a text that said, "HE'S TRYING TO CHEAT ON YOU ON THE ONE DIRECTION IMAGINES WEBSITE?" and I realized that life is all about your curated experience. A real choose-your-own-adventure deal. I have never seen someone post about One Direction on here in my life.

[caniborrowurlighter]

do u want to play Love eachother forever with me

[cheddar-baby]

In cyclops world the teens have a trend where they play "we are young" by fun and when he says "give me a second i" they put a second eye on random celebs like cyclops shane dawson

[chilewithcarnage]

you craft such intricate tales

[lonelyroommp3]

literally how i feel after one 20 degree april day

[allsadnshit]

Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from

[par4n0id-andr0id]

CLAUDIA :DD

[chilipepperconverse]

posts i can only make today

[conchacrumb]

And for the lady, perhaps reassurance without having to ask for it?