This is a super short little drabble from a reddit writing prompts post, which I will probably do more of as warm up writing exercises. If people like it, I might extend it some more because it ends before the good stuff. Anyway, enjoy!
Karinea was aware she didn't know much about the outside world. She had been raised by the Order of Valentus, and hadn't left the monastery until her first mission. That had been simple enough: all her companions were fighters and clerics of the Order, and while the wilds, towns and villages they encountered were strange to her, the rules and customs within her party were not. She became complacent, and perhaps forgot some of her earliest lessons about the people not raised in the light of the Pleasure Lord.
Which, Karinea realised, might explain the look of shock on Wivenne's face when she produced her holy relic from her satchel and bade her undress for the healing ritual.
Wivenne was not from the order. After a dragon attack had driven her party to flee, they had all become separated, and Karinea had found herself defending a group of survivors from the local village against the kobold horde. Wivenne was the tavern bard, and had taken up arms to defend her home. The injuries she had suffered in the battle were not serious, but Karinea had invited her into the private room the innkeep had granted her for her help nonetheless. The Lord of Pleasure let no suffering go untreated, after all.
"By all the gods, what is that?" Wivenne demanded, taking a step back towards the door.
Karinea clutched the holy symbol to her chest protectively. The glass tip was pleasantly warm against her chin. "It's the Wand of Valentus," she explained. "The blessed symbol of my order."
She wore a simplified version of the Wand on her chestpiece, though in fairness to Wivenne that was a lot more abstract and less... anatomical. The relic she carried was almost 8 inches of carefully cast glass with threads of gossamer thin gold woven throughout. Those represented the veins, and the liquid core of holy seed that ran through the center issued from her god himself. The handle at the base was wrapped in simple leather, and Karinea's first lesson as a novice had been to learn the various grips.
"Is it now," Wivenne said, a sceptical eyebrow raised. She folded her arms. "Whatever happened to good old 'Lay on Hands'?"
Karinea brightened. "I can do that instead, if you prefer."
Wivenne opened her mouth to answer, and then paused. "When you say 'Lay on Hands', am I right in thinking I'll still need to disrobe?"
"Oh no, of course not," Karinea said, going to put the Wand back in her pack. "I can just slide my hand into your leathers. I don't need to see what I'm doing, I'm quite talented." It was a brag, but she knew she was a good healer. All her instructors agreed. She slipped her index and middle fingers into her mouth to wet them and stepped forward. Wivenne put a hand on her shoulder to stop her, with surprising strength from such a small woman.
"Sweetheart, I think you're in a sex cult," she said. "Look, you're very pretty and I'm flattered, and maybe if my ribs didn't ache so much this might go a different way, but do you have any way you can heal me that doesn't involve you putting anything inside me?"
Karinea was a little hurt at the cult accusation. Valentus was a real god, his blessings felt around the world, the healing power of his touch pure and unmistakable. She let it slide though, because prioritising the safety and health of others was His first command, and there was still a wounded elf in front of her.
"Of course, there are a number of rituals I can perform on myself," she said. "I can direct the power of Valentus into you, you'll just need to hold my hand while I do."
"And these rituals...?"
"Oral, vaginal, or anal," Karinea explained brightly.
Wivenne sighed heavily, and then winced.
"You're in pain," Karinea said softly, and took Wivenne's hand in her own. She had been so caught up in her duties, than she had forgotten the poor injured soul in front of her and the physical toll she was suffering. Pain wasn't antithetical to pleasure of course, she had studied its relationship and the joy it could bring, but without commensurate satisfaction there was suffering, and the Lord of Pleasure sought to defeat suffering wherever it was found. "Please let me help you, Wivenne."
The elf woman sighed again. "You know what? Fine. Suck the damn thing."
Karinea couldn't suppress a little gasp of happiness. She drew the Wand again from her satchel, and arranged herself on the bed. Wivenne awkwardly refused to look at the holy relic and blushed violet, but Karinea was just excited to fulfil her role as healer.
"Come," she said. "Hold my hand, while I worship the Lord of Pleasure, and channel his prowess into healing your wounds through the pleasure of my mouth."
Wivenne's blush deepened, but she sat next to Karinea on the bed, pointedly looking away, and slipped her fingers into Karinea's palm.
Karinea offered her a smile, and the used the tip of the Wand to part her own lips.
I did not like Three Body Problem, and now that's your three body problem too
For a long time, it felt like everyone I knew wanted me to read this book. It's one of those big, impactful sci-fi stories I have never got around to reading, despite its influence and somewhat ropey netflix show (which I have started and will review another time) The last straw was an actual honest-to-god physicist telling me I should read it while consulting for a writing project, and it still took me another couple of years to actually get around to it.
Book bad.
My full review, which is very spoiler-y, is under the cut:
Three Body Problem: philosophy, physics, and a total lack of character development
The Three Body Problem as a scientific principle is relatively easy to understand in basic terms. Three objects orbiting each other (outside a handful of proven starting conditions) will move so chaotically that their paths cannot be predicted. There are too many variables, too many inconsistencies. The problem appears in the book as the driving motivation for the Trisolaran civilisation's plan to invade Earth, as their planet caught between the orbits of Proxima Centauri, Alpha Centauri A and Alpha Centauri B has no chance of survival. Having been contacted by a transmission from Earth, the Trisolarans hatch a plan to inhibit humanity's scientific development and recruit sympathisers on Earth to shape society. While we get the information out of order - as the protagonist learns it - the premise is ultimately very simple.
What follows (and makes up most of the book) is dry astrophysics explanations for various plot details, delivered in the same bored tone of a student reciting for an exam by every single character. When there's an element of the alien plan that needs to be elaborated, there is Ye Wenjie to flatly tell us everything that happened; when the mysteries of orbital mechanics need to be solved, Wang Miao is there to enlighten us. Most egregiously, when it becomes necessary to explain how the Trisolarans are able to affect physics on Earth – the entire crux of the first third of the book – we travel to their homeworld for an extended lesson on theoretical quantum particle physics delivered in dense explanation by the leading minds of the alien invasion force, who remain entirely unnamed throughout. While the Trisolarans are described as intentionally emotionless and pragmatic to ensure the survival of their species, their actual affect and characterisation barely differ from the named human cast at all.
Nominally, Wang Miao is the protagonist, though he shares storytelling duties with Ye Wenjie. We learn in chapter 3 that he's a keen amateur film photographer, and soon after that he has a wife and child. After the narrative utility of these details are fulfilled, he never takes another photograph and his wife and child vanish completely from the story. After his photography session, he never looks at the world with the attitude of a photographer, never describes scenes or events in artistic language, and never engages in anything other than the plot and occasional massive alcoholic crashout over the impending end of human civilisation. Ye Wenjie serves as the protagonist of the far more interesting Red Coast chapters, which explores her evolution from the daughter of a teacher cruelly murdered in the Cultural Revolution to the enigmatic commander of a powerful alien-backed cult, but her story is bogged down in the scientific minutiae of running the secret project to search for alien life. While interesting, those details detract massively from any opportunity for character development. The reveal that she has completely given up on human civilisation and invites the Trisolaran fleet to invade is entirely unexpected for the simple reason that we see a lot more of her opinions on the quality of the machine components than her fellow man.
Like Ye Wenjie, every character who espouses their political stance (which is most of them) is firmly convinced that humanity is evil beyond redemption and cannot possibly solve their own problems any more. Unlike other philosophical positions, and even scientific principles, this stance is never justified or elaborated upon in the text. Mike Evans, upon inheriting more than four billion dollars, resigns himself to failure because that amount of money surely must have been spent on conservation efforts in the past. While it would make perfect sense for a multi-billionaire to give up on humanity and pursue their own esoteric and destructive interests, his decision does not invite reflection – not from the characters, readers, or seemingly the writer. The characters in the book fall into three factions: Adventists, who believe the Trisolarans should wipe out humanity; Redemptionists, who believe the Trisolarans can absolve humanity of its sins; and the Battle Command Centre, an organisation run by the Chinese and American militaries, CIA, and police. While the Adventists and Redemptionists oppose each other, their philosophies on human nature align. The opponents to this myopic world view never espouse much political opinion: they are simply against the alien invasion for the preservation of humanity. The lack of exposition about the driving political motivation for the protagonist's faction is extremely out of place in a book that takes great pains to explain every astrophysics concept in excruciating detail.
Three Body Problem is ultimately a book that holds itself back. Through its hell-bent intention to explain scientific principles – both the real and the imagined – and examine the potential political and sociological ideas of a far-future alien invasion, it sacrifices any room for character development in its protagonist and fails to build much of a world that exists outside of the philosophical constructs it attempts to explore. In the end, Trisolaris can have this version of the earth, because it doesn't seem a particularly interesting world.
If you've been following me for a while (I love you for it, but god why are you here?), you've probably noticed that I haven't posted in a long while except to talk about looking for work (oh god I still need it please hire me I'll beg), and also that one post about Darth Maul
While things have been a little bit financially grim for me of late, I am extremely happy. I haven't mentioned her before on this account, but I am deeply in love with a wonderful, incredible woman who completes me and breathes life into my soul. We are recently engaged, we're getting married in November next year. I am the happiest I have ever been, and also the busiest I have ever been, which brings me to the next point:
I am finally getting my shit together
I have worked in independent production for too long, and it has taken me far too long to realise that I hate it. Yes, that might be connected to not having much financial stability any more, but I need to get out of it. I am going to devote more of my time to writing, which is always what I wanted to do. There will be smut, there will be reviews of books and movies and shows, there will be more smut, there will be different smut, there will be monsters and lesbians and romance. It seems silly to put up a post announcing that there will be more posts, but I need this to hold myself accountable and keep going. Writing is my job, my passion, and a big part of my identity. I have neglected it too long, and it's time to come home
I'm a writer and editor with years of experience, a degree in literature and creative writing and another in film. I've been working as a freelancer in indie film and audio production for the last six years, but I'm building up my portfolio to move into copy-editing.
Rates are decided on a per-project basis, and I'll definitely take some things on for free. My work is on this blog and on AO3 here, I'll work on any project from fanfic to non-fiction to original work, and my turn-around time is extremely fast
Alright, I'm sure I'm not the only one struggling right now but if anyone out there needs a proofreader, editor, writing advisor or anything else literary, send me a DM or an email at [email protected] for a quote to help you out. My bonafides are on my account, you can see how good I am at what I do and I will take the time to make your work the best it can be
egg: I love Egg. There are too many ways to Egg and most of them are amazing. If I had to pick it would be a grudge match between poached (on wholemeal toast with wilted spinach, black pepper, barbecue sauce, hot sauce, and chives) or omelette (chives, red leicester cheese, turmeric, paprika, splash of balsamic vinegar)
Steak: vegetarian, but I've never liked a big wedge of meat like that anyway. Personally I think the best thing you can do with steak is cut it into strips, flash fry it (in a pan used to caramelise onions) and then finish cooking in szechuan pepper sauce
Milk: most of my milk goes into cooking so I use regular semi-skimmed because it's cheap. If I'm feeling fancy though I make a bechemel with cashew milk that has a really nice nutty flavour that goes really well with mushrooms and pesto
Alcohol: I don't drink, but the best cocktail is a mojito. The best alcohol for cooking is white wine (contrary to popular belief, cheap wine is not better for cooking. All those extra flavours you get in nice wine will be *more* obvious with the alcohol cooked out, not less) because it's less heavy than red, or sakē if you need a spirit
Warm drink: hot chocolate made right. Instant hot chocolate is miserable, the powdered stuff you add to hot milk is good, but shaving a block of cooking chocolate and making it on the stove with a cinnamon stick, a bit of honey, and some chilli flakes is the best
Heartbreakingly, I don't think I'm going to be able to keep up with @wolfwrenweek this time. I'm already a day behind and I am really struggling today too. I will keep writing, and they will get posted soon, and I'll still use the tags, but it's just not going to happen this time
Wolfwren24 day 2! I'm not late, it's the 12th somewhere in the world!
THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE, INVERTED - read it on A03 HERE!
Shin woke slowly, and then all at once. A deep breath surged into her lungs and she scrabbled to get up, gloves and boots squeaking on the polished stone floor. Her lightsaber was in her hand and ignited before her feet were properly under her, and the weight of the blade pulled her a little off-balance.
The temple had changed. The shapes were the same - the sharp-featured Nightsister statues, the domed ceiling, the enormous sealed door - but it was no longer a ruin. The stone underfoot was unbroken and neatly swept, and the statues glared down with unmarred expressions of distaste. The silence was so total it was almost physical, and the rattling hum of her blade was deafening in the dark. There were no stars in the sky above her.
It started at the far end of the room. To the right of the door, opposite the entrance, a flicker of light spilled from a corridor Shin hadn't seen before - if it had even been there in the first place. The light grew stronger, and her ears pricked at the sound of footsteps on stone.
Her left foot slid back slowly as her arms raised, and her body coiled into a ready stance. She could cover the distance to the passageway in one leaping slash, if she needed to. Shin hoped it was Baylan. She hoped it was Sabine. She had last seen both of them sprawled on the ground, wounded or dying.
"You can lower your weapon," came a voice in the dark. "I mean you no harm."
"Show yourself!" Shin demanded. The voice was unfamiliar, but didn't sound like a bandit. Peridea didn't have any other people. This was new.
The light edged forwards into the temple itself, and a man followed it across the threshold. He was old, stooped, and frail, but his voice was clear and strong. The light seemed to reach out from around him, igniting lamps tucked into sconces along the walls with a gentle, steady light. There was no fire or heat, just a warm glow suffusing the room as he came closer.
Shin did not relax her stance.
"You're the one who opened the door," the old man observed.
"Let me back out."
He smiled sadly at that, and stopped just inside the range of a wide swing of Shin's blade. "I can't, I'm afraid. For while we live we cannot leave, and while we remain we cannot truly die."
"I'm not interested in riddles," Shin said. "Where is… where are the others?" She couldn't bring herself to ask after her Master directly. She had a memory of drawing life back into his body, but the events of the last few hours were hazy and there was no telling what was real and what she just wanted to be real.
"When you breached the seal," he said, "your companions were scattered. My daughter included."
Shin's brow wrinkled in confusion. The man looked human - though, she realised with a pang of an emotion she couldn't name, that so did she - and she knew that Sabine was an orphan. It was why her armour meant so much to her.
"My son's influence here is great," the old man continued, still completely unphased by how easy it would be for her to simply cut him down, "and mine weakens by the day."
Shin adjusted her grip on the hilt. Her gloves creaked as she tensed her fist. "Tell me how to find them."
"Please lower your weapon," he said.
Shin had been trying, since she joined Sabine and Ahsoka, to keep her emotions under control. Baylan had taught her Jedi discipline, but it was Ahsoka's example that had given her the drive to perfect it. Frustration was one she still struggled with, and it overwhelmed her now. With a snarl, her lightsaber flashed forwards into a reverse grip, and she brought the point up under the old man's chin.
"Tell me, now!" she hissed.
The old man sighed, and her lightsaber winked out. Shin took a quick step back, tried to ignite it again, and found she couldn't. For a moment, she forgot her situation, and panic set in that she would never see the burst of flame orange split the air again.
"Please, do not worry, my child," the old man said. "It's not permanent. Just until you master yourself."
Shin's hand snapped out and she reached for his throat with the Force. It was like he wasn't there. There was a presence in the Force, a blinding presence, but nothing she could manipulate. Her fingers tightened on nothing. The frustration and the panic and the fear crystalised and hardened into a fine, sharp point of anger, and she threw herself at him like a dart. He stepped back neatly, far faster than a man of his obvious age could, and Shin put her weight behind a kick to his abdomen that didn't connect either. She howled and struck out, hands and feet blurring as she tried to land a single strike. His face stayed impassive as he moved faster than anyone could, until Shin had exhausted herself and stumbled away. He wasn't even breathing particularly hard.
Shin put her hand out and leaned her weight against the wall. "Please," she heaved through huffs of air. "I need to find her."
"There is a way."
The old man crossed his arms and tucked his arms into the opposite sleeve, and came a little closer. This time, he stopped just outside of striking range, which Shin was distantly pleased to see.
"I'll do it," Shin said.
His face softened a little, and Shin was uncomfortably reminded of Baylan in the quiet moments of their life. He said, "it is not a simple thing."
She said, "I don't care."
"Your destiny is not yet written, child of Dathomir." Shin fought hard to suppress the urge not to attack him again. Why had Baylan never told her where she came from? Why had he let her believe a lie? But the old man was still talking, and she forced her mind back to the present. "This bond will seal your fate to hers. What happens to one will affect the other, you must understand this."
Shin straightened up. In truth, she hadn't known Sabine long. The Mandalorian didn't know it, but Shin had been keeping track, and the counter in her head of 'days spent as friends' had ticked over to total more than 'days spent as enemies' only very recently. And in a secret part of her, Shin was also counting the number of days looking at her made her stomach clench and heat flash in her cheeks, when hearing her speak brought a stupid smile to her face for no reason other than the sound of words in her mouth, and when the touch of their hands was the only sensation she cared to feel. Shin had been fascinated at first, and then that feeling had deepened, and twisted, and wrapped around her until she was fully ensnared.
"I'm already hers," Shin announced.
"A bond in the Force cannot be undone," he warned.
Shin allowed herself a small smile, because neither could whatever bond it was that joined them now. "I don't care," she said again.
The old man sighed sadly, and took a step towards her. Shin involuntarily stepped away. "Forgive me, child," he said, "but this is how it must be done."
Shin swallowed, and nodded, and let him lay a clammy hand against her shoulder.
Sabine couldn't move her arms. The creature had pinned them to her sides, squeezed hard enough to crush the breath out of her lungs, with claws as thick as the tree branches that whipped past her. She kicked her feet to struggle, but it only tightened its grip. She still couldn't see it, not properly, only nightmarish flashes of a monstrous, bat-like shape. In the back of her mind it reminded her of a creature she had seen circling in the distance on Dathomir. Below her the ground and the tops of the trees slashed past. A few of them clipped her face or tore at her flightsuit where it was unprotected by beskar, and she felt a hundred narrow cuts tear open her skin. If she could just get her fingers to a blaster, she could try and free herself.
Above her, the creature that had been impersonating Shin screeched in clear, sharp fury.
And then Sabine felt a familiar presence. Shin's hand in her own. She couldn't believe she had ever taken the imposter as the real deal for even a second: Shin's presence in the Force was unmistakable. The thing threatening to crush her or drop her to her death had none of her warmth, none of her care. They were night and day. Shin, somehow there, guided her hand away from scratching against her holster harness and gently turned her wrist so her palm faced the claw. Sabine marvelled at the contact, but dared not question how it was happening. Wordlessly, Shin's fingers closed Sabine's into a fist.
"You have to trust me," Shin coaxed. Her voice was soft, and close, but inside her head. Sabine almost felt she could feel the tickle of a stray strand of hair on her cheek, the whisper of Shin's short breaths as she concentrated, and the smell of her clothes and skin. Her hand was still but insistent on Sabine's own.
"I do," Sabine gasped out.
"Let go."
Together, they opened their hands. Sabine reached out with the Force, and Shin reached through her, and the beast's grip snapped open. There was a half-second of total weightlessness before Sabine started to fall, and in that half-second Shin let go of her hand.
She screamed with all the air she had in her lungs as she plummetted towards the ground, pushing desperately into the Force to slow her fall the way she had seen Kanan do all those years ago. Nothing happened. She felt the thrill of connection run down her arms, but it wasn't enough. It was over.
Just before Sabine decided to close her eyes for her last moment, she was there. Shin stepped out of the air where Sabine was going to land, reached up with both hands, and grabbed her. It wasn't the gentle catch and lift that Ezra and Kanan had perfected, and it reminded her a lot more of when Shin had tried to crush her throat on Seatos. Shin snatched her up like she was jealous of the hold gravity had on her, and wrapped her in a grip almost as viciously tight as the creature's had been. She brought her down to the ground like she was reluctant to let go, but as soon as Sabine's feet touched the dirt she lunged forwards and threw her arms around her.
"I'm sorry," Shin blurted. "I lost touch, I didn't mean to - "
"You saved my life," Sabine interrupted her.
Long before Sabine was ready, Shin stepped backwards out of her arms, turned her head as if she heard something, and then nodded stiffly. "You have to go now," she said. "Your Master - "
"She's in danger, I know," Sabine nodded. "How did you - ?"
Shin stepped forwards again, the way she stalked towards her in a duel, and grabbed Sabine with both hands on the side of her head. She pulled her into a kiss, and their teeth clashed off each other in their desperate rush. Too soon again, Shin pulled away.
"I just will. Now go."
Sabine lingered for a moment, wanting more than anything to feel Shin's hands on her again, to feel her lips and her teeth and her tongue, but Shin's expression brooked no argument, so she turned and set off. When she looked back, Shin had vanished in the trees.
Miles away, over the top of the trees, dawn came to Mortis again.
Baylan's plan teeters on the edge of fruition, as Shin and Sabine close in
AO3 Here
Sabine scanned the entrance of the structure through her helmet heads-up-display, but the snow was making it impossible to track any movement inside.
"That's where they are," Shin said from beside her. Sabine looked over at her and tilted her head quizzically. "Don't you feel them?"
She still found it incredibly difficult to tap into the Force unless her life was in danger, but Shin had helped her with centering herself when she meditated the last few times she had tried. If she really focused, she thought she could feel a flickering presence inside the temple, but she wasn't sure if it was real or just what she wanted to experience.
"Are you sure about this?" she asked Shin, forced to raise her voice to be heard over the wind. It had picked up since Huyang had dropped them off and he'd been forced to take the ship out of the worst of it.
Shin glowered at her from under her hood. She was wearing her cloak over some of Ahsoka's darker robes and her own armour, and all Sabine could see of her face was her eyes and a wisp of her fringe. "I dueled Baylan every day for twenty years," she shouted. "If anyone can stop him, I can."
Sabine refrained from pointing out that she herself could never take Ahsoka in a straight fight, partly because it said more about her skill than anyone else's. "That's not exactly what I meant," she said instead.
"He abandoned me!" Shin yelled, jabbing her finger into Sabine's chest. "He was all I had, and he left me!" the finger turned into her closed fist, and Sabine barely kept her footing as Shin hit her breastplate. Her voice wasn't raised to be heard over the wind, now she was just screaming. "I have to do this!"
Sabine grabbed Shin by the shoulders and pulled her close, trapping her arm between them so she couldn't hit her any more. She stuggled for a moment, because screaming and raging was easier, but she fell still in the end and let Sabine hold her. They swayed in the wind, and the snow settled on Shin's hood. When she stopped shaking, Sabine reached up to take off her helmet so she could hear her speaking without the filter in the way.
"I'm so sorry, Shin," she said. They were close enough that the words carried in spite of the wind.
Shin's hand snaked up from between their bodies and tugged the wrap down from her face. The tears streaking her cheeks had to be painful in the freezing air, but Sabine forgot all about them when Shin gently touched her lips to her own. It was barely a kiss: their lips simply lay against each other in a chaste expression of security and comfort, but it was everything Sabine could have possibly wanted in that moment. When Shin moved her head away, Sabine reached her free hand to her face and carefully wiped the tears from her flushed cheeks with the edge of her thumb.
"Let's go," she said.
*
Morai was the embodiment of the Mortis god Daughter's spirit, given to Ahsoka in her dying moments to save her life. She saw her in the moments where she doubted herself, or she had lost her way, but they weren't separate entities any more. Morai was the part of her that dragged her to this place, and Morai was the creature that hadn't let her die on Seatos. Because Morai wanted to return here, to Mortis. All Ahsoka had to do was let her open the door.
She could feel the spirit inside her, yearning to be reunited with her family on the other side of the door, and she forced it into submission. Baylan could sense her conflict of course, and was quickly realising that what he wanted was within his grasp, but Ahsoka was still in charge of her body. For now at least.
"I always assumed there was more to the Mortis account than Skywalker's official reports suggested," Baylan said as he circled Ahsoka, casually observing the sweat beading on her brow and the tension in her arms. "It's nice to be proven right."
"Anakin left a lot out," Ahsoka said, failing to keep the strain out of her voice. "He did that a lot."
"Hmm," Baylan chuckled softly. "Despite what I said about your legacy, Anakin Skywalker was a great man," he said, and crossed back into Ahsoka's line of sight. "Would you like to see him again?"
"Excuse me?" she said. The creature inside her was forcing its way to the surface. She had felt it before, when Brother had stolen her body and used it against her Master and cast her aside to die afterwards. Whatever was left of Daughter was weak, but it would eventually win.
Baylan shrugged slightly. "The gods of Mortis have incredible power. I could bring General Skywalker back, the way he used to be."
"You think they'll serve you?" Ahsoka hissed. Her muscles were burning and she could feel acid in her veins.
Baylan shook his head once. "I'm going to destroy them," he said. "And free the Force from their yoke."
Ahsoka's gaze shifted to a spot just over Baylan's shoulder. "I don't need their magic," she said. "Anakin is always with me."
Over Baylan's shoulder, the hazy figure of her Master gave her an encouraging smile. She smiled back, and Baylan turned to look.
Anakin wasn't there any more, but someone else had taken his place. Shin stood at the threshold of the temple, lightsaber hilt already in her hand, with Sabine moving into position to cover her with both blasters. Ahsoka had been so wrong to leave without them, but there was no apologising now.
"Shin?" Baylan said, so stunned to see her he took a step backwards. His usual arrow-straight posture dipped a little as he stared at her.
"Master," she said, a sneer in her voice.
"I thought - you were supposed to go with Thrawn."
"You knew where I was," she snarled. "I felt it."
"You shouldn't have come here!" Baylan roared at her, and Ahsoka saw Sabine flinch at the anger in his voice.
Shin wasn't fazed in the slightest, and took three steps towards her Master. Under her gloves, her knuckles would be white with tension as she gripped her hilt like she was trying to strangle it. "You said I was going to be something more than a Jedi," she spat. "And then you left me!"
"Because I couldn't do that to you," Baylan said. There was no rage in his voice now - Ahsoka thought he sounded more like he was pleading. If she wasn't focusing every ounce of strength into holding Daughter at bay for as long as she could, she might have tried to understand what that meant.
Shin had nothing left to say. Her lightsaber ignited with a spark and she flew at Baylan with a scream that would wake the dead. He barely managed to bring up his own blade in time to block her first frenzied strikes, and she battled him back with furious, blindingly fast strikes.
Sabine stared, dumbfounded, as the two of them fought. Their matching orange lightsabers twirled and clashed so fast she couldn't tell which was which. Shin's anguished, rage-filled screams blended with the crackling, sparking crashes of blade-on-blade loud enough to deafen the thoughts inside her head, and for a moment she couldn't decide between trying to get a shot on Baylan or rushing to her Master's side. Ahsoka decided for her by collapsing with a cry that sounded like it took all the breath in her lungs.
"Ahsoka!" she cried out, sprinting over to her and skidding to her knees.
"I'm alright," she gasped, clearly lying. Her face was streaked with pale veins that snaked under her skin, and her blue eyes were flecked with green. Even as Sabine looked at her, the flecks grew larger, like an infection growing in a cut.
"Karabast, what do I do?!" Sabine begged.
"Save… Shin," Ahsoka managed, and Sabine looked up at the fight happening in the centre of the temple.
The light beaming down highlighted them, Master and Padawan, like a spotlight on a stage. Shin had the advantage of speed and fury, but Baylan had recovered quickly from her first strike and was slowly but surely beating her into the ground. Every one of his strikes was considered and devastating, and soon Shin was on her knees, desperately holding her lightsaber up as Baylan prepared a killing blow.
Sabine was on her feet and shooting before she had even fully processed what was happening. She hammered the triggers of both pistols as she circled Baylan, trying to overwhelm his defences with the sheer volume of blaster fire. If she had more distance between them, it might have worked. Instead, one of his deflections found its mark - a blaster bolt hit her hard in the chest where her beskar would normally have saved her. This time, the shot burned straight through and melted into her skin. Sabine screamed and collapsed, hitting the floor so hard her helmet rattled off her head and bounced away. Distantly, she heard Shin scream and tried to cling on to the sound as her vision started to blur.
"Enough!"
Ahsoka's voice was loud and angry enough to drag Sabine's attention away from the burning sensation in her chest. She had somehow managed to get back to her feet, despite the colour draining out of her skin and one of her eyes turning completely green. She had taken Sabine's lightsaber from her belt while she was distracted, and though her right hand was shaking, her left was completely steady as it held the hilt to her own heart.
"Ahsoka, no!" Sabine tried to gasp, but what came out was a strained gurgle.
Baylan lowered his lightsaber, but didn't deactivate it. "She won't let you," he said, but he didn't sound sure.
A sharp smile spread over Ahsoka's face. "Sure? Because there's no way into Mortis if you're wrong."
"Yes there is," Baylan said. Before he could say anything else, Shin's lightsaber pierced him from behind and kept going through the centre of his chest until the hilt pressed into his spine. He choked on the breath trying to leave his severed lung and his eyes widened in shock. Shin killed her lightsaber and Baylan collapsed to his knees, gasping for air that wouldn't come.
"Master!" she cried out, staring down at her hands like she had only just seen what they had done. Her lightsaber dropped out of her loose grip and rolled away from her on the floor as she hurried to help Baylan lie down. "I… I didn't mean to," she keened, her voice high and shaking as she patted her hands uselessly and the hole burned through his body. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
Baylan turned his head to look at her. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's good that… it was you."
Sabine rolled awkwardly onto her front, despite the agony of the blaster burn, and tried to crawl towards them. Shin's eyes flashed up to her face and she saw so much pain in them she stopped in her tracks.
"Stay away from me," Shin howled at her. Sabine had made her do it. In a fit of fear and horror at seeing her hurt, Shin had killed the only person she had ever known.
Baylan reached a numb hand out to pat Shin's arm. "There's still time," he whispered. "Take me inside."
Shin stared down at him, uncomprehending and horribly afraid. A tear rolled off her nose and dropped down onto his forehead. "I don't understand," she said quietly.
Ahead of her, Ahsoka dropped Sabine's lightsaber. The strange white veins retreated from the surface of her skin and the green in her eyes receded, leaving them bloodshot and pale. With a grunt, she fell sideways. Shin didn't know if she was dead or alive or unconscious, but she didn't care.
"Tell me what to do!" she screamed.
The tendrils of green smoke drifted out from the door towards Shin and Baylan. For a moment, Sabine thought it was some kind of trap - Nightsister magic lying in wait to reanimate the dead - but it ignored Baylan's still body and instead flowed to Shin's fingertips. She ignored it, or couldn't see it, too focused on Baylan's dying body in front of her. The smoke wound its way up her arms and across her chest before plunging into her mouth.
Shin's scream was piercing and laced with grief and pain and rage. Her eyes burst into green fire, and the smoke poured from her mouth, roiling over Sabine and Ahsoka's prone forms and rushing back towards the prison door where it curled and whipped and lashed. Within seconds, the door was completely obscured, and the smoke stayed there until Shin ran out of air and fell to her knees, spent. As it cleared in wisps and clouds, the metal and stone of the door evaporated with it, until by the time it had all dissolved the temple opened out impossibly onto a rolling autumnal forest.
Air filled his lungs again, and the hole in his chest sealed. With a great gasp, Baylan Skoll sat up.
I accidentally made this almost 4,000 words, so I'm splitting into two angsty, angsty chapters
AO3 Here
The days were getting shorter. Sabine had been keeping track since they were stranded, and sundown was almost an hour earlier. She initially thought the cold was from heading north, but now she was sure winter was settling over Peridea. The lower the temperature dropped, the more restless and distant Ahsoka became. She spent days on her Howler, scouting the path ahead and looking for Baylan's trail into the mountains. Sabine had lost track of how many days ahead he was now, but she could feel Ahsoka's anxiety. Something was pulling her up that mountain, and she didn't understand what it was.
To distract herself, Sabine focused on her armour. Once she finished applying the grey top-coat to the repaired metal she started sketching a new design with a pencil, drawing directly onto the matte grey surface. She could have done it with a holo - it would have been much faster and neater - but with her armour compromised Sabine felt she had to reconnect with the Mandalorians of old, and work on it the old fashioned way. Shin kept her company while she worked, sitting close and watching intently with wide, fascinated eyes. They ate together, and every so often Shin's hand would seek out Sabine's if it was free, and they would sit in a strangely comfortable silence. She liked to run her thumb along Sabine's knuckles, which made her smile every time.
"What about the other pauldron?" Shin asked, when Sabine had carefully outlined her Starbird sigil on the right shoulder plate. It didn't feel right to use the Republic's symbol any more, even if she had helped design it, not while they were a galaxy away.
"I'm not sure," Sabine said. "In the old days, Mandalorians would claim signets. Something that affected them deeply, usually represented by an animal." She touched her finger to the metal and remembered the previous beasts that she had carried with her - a loth wolf, the strange bird Ezra saw whenever Ahsoka was around, and the purgill that had taken him away. Now she needed something new, and she was at a loss.
"A Howler?" Shin suggested, shuffling her chair a little closer and putting her weight gently against Sabine's side.
Sabine shook her head. "I don't know. I don't feel… connected to this place." Shin's hand found her own and Sabine smiled as their fingers intertwined. "Maybe I'll paint you there," she teased.
"Am I an animal, then?" Shin asked, giving her a sideways look from under her hair.
Sabine raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Oh yeah, definitely."
Before Shin could reply, Huyang's voice rang out over the speaker. "Lady Wren, there is a problem. Please come to the cockpit." There was an urgency in the droid's tone that Sabine didn't like, and she had a sinking feeling in her stomach as she hurried out of the workshop towards the cockpit. Shin followed her a few steps behind, like she was unsure she was invited. One backwards glance at her face was enough to tell Sabine she was thinking the exact same thing she was.
"What's happening, Huyang?" she asked as they reached the cockpit. She dropped into her seat before the droid had started to reply, and Shin hovered awkwardly by the door.
"Ahsoka's comm unit is sending a direct ping to the ship, a half-second burst every six seconds," he said, calling up a 3D map of the mountain and highlighting the location of Ahsoka's comm.
"A distress signal?" Sabine asked, getting more and more concerned.
"Standard Jedi operating procedure is to initiate this protocol automatically, when the unit has been separated from its operator," Huyang explained. "It also transmits the previous ten seconds of captured audio."
"So play it," Sabine demanded.
Huyang hesitated. "I am not sure that Lady Hati - "
"Play it," Shin growled from the back of the cockpit. Even now, her tone sent shudders up Sabine's spine.
"Right," Huyang said. "Very well." His metal fingers clattered quickly over the interface for a moment, and then the sound of ignited lightsabers filled the cockpit. The hum was low and consistent, the sound of two opponents squaring off.
"I'm not here to kill you."
Sabine heard Shin draw a sharp breath and saw her stand up straight. "That's Baylan," she said. Sabine held up a hand to hush her.
"So put down the lightsaber," said Ahsoka. There was a change in the hum as one of them moved. Sabine felt her breath still as she listened.
"We want the same thing, Ahsoka Tano." Baylan's voice was calm, measured, and assured. It was the same tone he'd used to convince Sabine to surrender on Seatos. "That's why you're here without your friend."
"What is it that we want?" Ahsoka asked. It stung a little that she didn't correct him to say apprentice, but Sabine ignored that feeling. And focused on the lightsabers in the recording. They were still at rest, but it felt like they could spring into frenzied clashing at any second.
"Allow me to show you."
Ahsoka didn't speak for a few seconds, and then the sound cut out completely.
"What happened?" Sabine demanded from the silence in the cockpit.
"I do not know," Huyang admitted. "Ahsoka must have disabled her comm at that moment."
Sabine got out of her seat with a growl of frustration. "Damnit, Ahsoka! What happened to staying together?" Huyang turned in his seat to say something, but Sabine silenced him with a glare. "Do not answer that question, Huyang."
"We have to go after her."
Sabine turned, surprised that Shin had spoken up. She was still standing in the corner, wide eyed and more frightened than Sabine had seen her - more frightened than the day she had rescued her from the bandits that betrayed her and left her to die in the woods.
"Baylan said there was power here," Shin continued, taking a step towards Sabine. "He was obsessed with it." She looked down at her feet and her voice dropped. "I'd never seen him like that before."
"What happens when we find her?" Sabine asked. Shin's jaw tightened and she swallowed, and didn't say anything. Sabine caught herself before she reached to put a hand on Shin's arm and instead took a half step back so she was out of her personal space. "You and Baylan are close, and I - "
"He's like a father to me," Shin interrupted, lifting her eyes to bear down on Sabine with a furious glare that almost made her take another step away. "And if he won't stop then we kill him." Before Sabine could even think of something to say, Shin turned and stormed out.
Sabine started after her, then stopped and turned back to Huyang. "Get us out to that signal source. The Noti will just have to manage without us for a while."
As Huyang laid in a course, Sabine went to find Shin.
*
The temple Baylan led her to was carved into the side of the mountain. Above the entrance, great stone faces stared down at Ahsoka as she walked up the steps and snow swirled around her. It was undoubtedly Nightsister architecture, but it wasn't like anything she'd seen before. The style was different - where the ruins of Dathomir were smooth and curved, the Nightsister statues watching her were carved to be sharp, with teeth like knives and eyes like wounds. The Force was choked with strange emotions: fear, respect, certainty, control, pity. A billion parsecs from anywhere she had ever known, Ahsoka felt a strange pang of familiarity.
She had been here before.
"This is the place," she said.
"Yes," Baylan replied, even though it wasn't a question.
The darkness inside the temple wasn't absolute. Light spilled down from somewhere high above, but most of the illumination came from a shining inscription carved around a great circular door. Ahsoka had no idea how it was lit up, but it was bright enough to fill a room the size of the council chamber at the Jedi temple.
"You know, the old stories say this used to be a volcano," Baylan said conversationally, turning to look at her as she walked cautiously towards the door. His hands were clasped in front of him, and Ahsoka could see her lightsaber clipped to his belt alongside his own. "The ancient Nightsisters used all of its power to build this place."
"It took a lot more than that," Ahsoka said. She had surrendered to Baylan not out of choice, but because something deep inside her demanded that she come here - that she return here - like a magnet drawn to a pole. She had given in to it for one simple reason, which was that she knew categorically that it wasn't the Force pulling her. It was something that had become a part of her, a very long time ago.
"Do you need a translation?" Baylan asked, with a pointed glance at the glowing lettering.
'A great and endless prison, for the great and endless. The way is shut to all who bear not my blood.'
"I know what it says." Ahsoka realised her mistake in coming too late, but there was still a slim chance Baylan didn't know that. "A pity there are no Nightsisters left to open the door for you."
Baylan smiled grimly. "You know I don't need a Nightsister." He took a few steps towards her, and Ahsoka firmly stood her ground. "Where is Morai?"
Shin struggles to find her place with Sabine and Ahsoka
That's right, there's more! At this point I am mostly just using the prompts, this doesn't technically count as a challenge entry
AO3 Here
Sabine sat at the desk in Huyang's workshop and carefully soldered the powered plates back into her beskar's harness. She was right: the damage was too severe to be properly repaired and unless she could somehow build a forge out of twigs and shrubbery she couldn't reclaim the metal to start again. The remnants might give her enough protection from a glancing blaster bolt, but that was it. She had patched it together as best she could, and for now its appearance reminded her a little too much of Thrawn's reanimated storm troopers. She shuddered at the image. A new paint job would hide the scars, at least. Only her helmet and vambraces were still intact enough to stand up to a lightsaber - but now that Shin had started to settle in on the ship - uneasily, but it was a start - she wasn't sure how much she needed to worry about lightsabers any more. Sabine leaned back in the chair and her hand dropped to rest on her stomach, above the stab wound Shin had gifted her when they first met. Now we match, she thought to herself.
"I want to dye my hair."
Sabine jumped at the sound of Shin's voice. She had been so wrapped up in herself, she didn't even notice the door opening. Now that Shin had properly recovered from the surgery and didn't need the compression vest any more she had started wearing whatever she could find that was clean, which today was most of Sabine's training clothes with one of Ahsoka's robes draped artlessly over the top for warmth.
"Um… okay," she said, taken aback.
Shin paused and looked down at the workbench and Sabine's armour. "You're busy," she said, and turned to go.
"No," Sabine said quickly, standing up. "I have time, I mean." Shin didn't like being cooped up and it was rare to catch her in such a good mood. She was quickly learning to make the best of them.
"Your armour," Shin said, but Sabine waved her hand dismissively.
"It can wait." Shin stepped aside so Sabine could leave the room and lead the way back to her cabin. "Are we just bleaching your roots, or did you have a colour in mind?"
Shin touched the braid that hung down over shoulder, her fingers playing over the gemstones woven into it. "Green," she said.
Shin sat in the chair at Sabine's desk and talked more about how she wanted it to look while Sabine mixed the dyes and loaded them into applicator capsules for her spray tool. She got to work on her dark roots first. Shin shuddered a little as the first puff of cold pigment made contact with the top of her head and tensed as Sabine gently combed it in, but she settled in after a moment and let her work.
"What's with the gems?" Sabine asked, to distract herself from the strangely intimate feeling of carefully brushing bleach-white into Shin's hair.
"Baylan gave them to me," Shin said. "I didn't know what they were at first."
Sabine watched the teeth of the comb part Shin's hair and slip easily through the strands. "And what are they?"
Shin didn't answer for a long time, and Sabine saw her hand travel up to the crystals again. She rolled one between her finger and thumb for a while like she was thinking. "Something he gave up."
Sabine let her have the cryptic answer and backed off. She knew Shin didn't really like talking about Baylan - his leaving hurt much more than her stomach wound, and Sabine didn't want to push her. Instead, she slid the bleach dye out of her spray tool, replaced the nozzle and picked up the cartridge of green dye. She passed Shin a towel to put over her shoulders to protect the tank top she was wearing, though it belonged to Sabine and she wasn't too worried about it getting a burst of colour. With anyone else, Sabine might have draped the towel herself, but Shin didn't like to be touched.
"I'm surprised you're letting me do this," she said, and immediately wished she'd kept it to herself.
"Why?"
Sabine shrugged and fiddled unnecessarily with the settings. "I just… well, you don't like being touched, that's all."
Shin said nothing, and Sabine cleared her throat awkwardly. Just get on with it and shut up, she thought to herself, and started to carefully coat the lower strands of Shin's hair with a faint mist of green. She hadn't dyed hair this way since before the war, when she had given herself a purple ombré in the Ghost's refresher. Hera had been furious at the mess, but she had a lot more experience now - as well as better tools. While the dye was still wet, she back-combed it quickly but carefully into Shin's hair, varying the lengths of her strokes so the dye reached higher in some places than others, so the fading colour didn't look too neat. That had been her own idea: Shin was too wild for the Coruscant-salon perfect look Sabine had been trying for as a teenager.
Working on Shin's hair felt like painting. Like art. There was the same connection she felt to the canvas and the paint, only this time it was a living, breathing person under the hissing tool. She wanted to touch her, and comb her hair with fingers instead. To rub the dye into individual strands, one by one, until it was exactly how she envisioned it.
"I don't mind you," Shin said suddenly. It had been at least five minutes since either of them had last spoken.
"Sorry?"
"Touching." Shin's hands were in her lap and twisting over each other awkwardly. "It's okay, if it's you."
Sabine almost dropped the spray tool, and she was glad Shin was facing away and couldn't see the blush on her face. "Oh," she managed dumbly, and then, "good."
"Yes," Shin said. "Otherwise my roots would still be showing."
Sabine wasn't sure if it was a joke - Shin delivered every word with the same inflection, whether it was a death threat or asking for a drink - but she let out an awkward chuckle. She brushed at Shin's hair a few more times, and then put her tools down to examine her work.
"How do I look?" Shin asked, shaking her hair out and then rolling her neck to ease the tension from sitting still for so long.
Sabine stepped out from behind the chair and looked at her. "Beautiful," She said. It was the truth - the green highlights had an ethereal gleam amongst the pale blonde that made her eyes shimmer and her skin shine. The pale flush her words brought to her cheeks made for a very pretty contrast too. Sabine shook herself and picked up a hand-mirror to show Shin the back, and she nodded approvingly. Her oh-so-rare, oh-so-endearing smile spread on her lips and it was so infectious Sabine couldn't help smiling back.
"I like it," Shin said.
Before she had even thought about it being a bad idea, Sabine had leaned over her head and gently placed a kiss on Shin's forehead. She flinched like Sabine had just slapped her and almost tripped over her feet in her rush to get out of the chair and then out of the room.
"Wait!" Sabine called out, but by the time she had followed her out Shin had disappeared down the ship's ramp and into the Noti camp below. She was about to run after her when Ahsoka cleared her throat. Sabine hadn't even noticed her, but she was once again standing in the doorway of her room.
"Trouble?" she asked, one of her not-quite-eyebrows raised.
Sabine made a face and awkwardly clasped her hands in front of her. "I may have done something," she admitted.
"Like what?"
Sabine braced herself. "Like kiss Shin."
She didn't know exactly how she expected Ahsoka to react. Anger seemed unlikely, but not disappointment or frustration. She had taught her the Jedi code, and how it forbade attachment, and Sabine knew this looked like another of her arrogant rebellions.
Ahsoka smiled with a strange, almost knowing look in her eyes. "Are you going after her?" she asked.
Sabine frowned. "You're not… annoyed?" she asked. "The code - "
"My Master was married," Ahsoka interrupted. "His Master had a son nobody knew about, and I… well, let's not go into that now."
"Oh, we're going into that now," Sabine said, a little stunned by the idea that the stoic Ahsoka Tano might have dalliances in her past.
Ahsoka shook her head. "Not now." There was a hint of sadness in her gaze that convinced Sabine to drop it. Instead she dropped into a chair at the centre table and put her head in her hands with a sigh.
"I scared her off," she said, pulling her head up to look at Ahsoka. "I don't think she'll want to see me."
Ahsoka pushed herself off from the doorframe and started towards the exit ramp.
"Whoa, hey!" Sabine said, getting up like she was going to stop her somehow. "What are you doing?"
Ahsoka didn't say anything, just dropped down off the ramp to the ground below.
*
She thought Shin might have walked off, maybe down towards the river or out towards the mountains, but Ahsoka instead found her sat almost exactly in the middle of the Noti camp. They had all shut up their pods and powered them down, making her seem like the only living thing for miles around.
"Everything okay?" Ahsoka asked as she approached.
"They're all afraid of me," Shin said. Ahsoka looked around at the deserted camp and nodded a little. The Noti had locked themselves in as soon as they saw her.
"You were trying to kill them not long ago," she pointed out as she sat down next to her.
"Not them," Shin said. "That was the bandits. I only wanted Sabine."
Ahsoka looked across at her, taking in her new hair colour and the regret in her pale eyes. "Well you've got her now," she said. "Maybe not the way you expected."
"I didn't mean to run," Shin admitted. She picked at the scrubby ground in front of her and sighed. "I wish I didn't."
Ahsoka resisted the instinct to lay a hand on her shoulder, the way she would have done for Barriss all those years ago. "This isn't training," she said. Though she wasn't sure how Baylan had brought up his padawan, she knew he was a dyed-in-the-wool temple Jedi, and suspected he had driven her just as hard as Anakin had her. Or Luminara had Barriss. "It's hard to see at first, but it's different."
"I don't know what you mean," Shin said.
"You don't have to push yourself," Ahsoka explained weakly. She was not the person to be giving this talk, and she could imagine the infuriating way Anakin would smirk at her inability to communicate. "Whatever is between you and Sabine isn't a challenge to overcome, it's not… a trial to endure." Ahsoka sighed. "I'm no good at this," she admitted.
"No," Shin agreed, and Ahsoka smiled. Her honesty was refreshing, and reminded her not to try and make everything a lesson.
"Sabine doesn't want to rush you," she said. "She just doesn't know how not to rush herself."
Shin plucked a blade of grass and flicked it away. "I don't know how to feel this way," she admitted. "It's never happened before."
Ahsoka felt a sad smile creep over her face. She knew how that felt: there had been nothing in her training to prepare her for how it felt to see Barriss smile at a joke, and her training was all she knew. Before she had understood it, everything had changed. "Sabine knows," she said. "And you'll get the hang of it."
Shin stood up and stretched. "I'm going for a walk," she announced. "Tell Sabine…"
She trailed off, unsure, but Ahsoka nodded. "I will," she said.
Shin stared off at the ship for a while, and Ahsoka wondered what she was thinking behind her glassy, green-blue eyes. Without another word, she turned away and walked off.
I'll level with you: I cried a bit writing this one
AO3 Here
Shin spent the next two days in the Mandalorian's bed. Despite her escape attempt, they never attempted to put her back in the restraints - maybe they thought her injury would keep her captive. Or maybe they trusted her not to kill them in their sleep. Ahsoka Tano had given her back her lightsaber and from the weight of it Shin knew she hadn't removed the power pack, and she wondered what Baylan would have expected of her now. Tano was a war hero, he had told her, and she had no chance against her. She would sense her intentions even in the deepest of sleep and cut her down in seconds. But Sabine was weak: barely able to use the Force unless her life depended on it, unbalanced, and with aggression that rivalled Marrok. Shin had bested her in every contest they'd had, and she could kill her without breaking a sweat.
Her eyes shifted down to the drawings on the wall. Did she want to kill her?
Baylan had sent her to Lothal. Morgan Elsbeth sent her on Seatos. Thrawn sent her on Peridea. Not once had she decided for herself.
The door opened and Shin rolled onto her side to face the wall before Wren could see her face. Murley's portrait looked up at her, and Shin felt that its stare was a little accusatory.
"Brought you food," Sabine said, with cheer that didn't sound forced, no matter how much Shin wished otherwise. She lifted her hand and Sabine pressed the carton into her fingers without complaint. As always, she'd already put the straw in for her.
At Huyang's insistence, Shin was on a liquid diet of blended protein infusion until she was fully healed, and the thick, flavourless gruel she had to suck down through a straw sometimes made her wish Feldspar had actually killed her. She could hear Sabine beside her, unwrapping a protein bar for her own breakfast, and wished her presence didn't comfort her so much. She was sick of eating alone.
"Your armour," she said, after a long silence broken only by Sabine's chewing. "I heard the droid saying."
"It's wrecked," Sabine said, trying and failing to sound flippant.
Shin remembered Sabine kneeling under a barrage of blaster fire from the bandits that had once been her allies. "Why did you save me?" she asked abruptly.
She didn't need to look to know Sabine had shrugged before she answered. "Ahsoka saw something in you," she said. Neither of them spoke for a moment. "Why didn't you go back to Thrawn?" Sabine finally asked.
Shin closed her eyes. She wanted to reach out for her lightsaber, sitting on Sabine's desk on the other side of the room - not to attack, just to feel the weight of it in her hand for a while. Instead, she pictured it: the orange crystal sitting at the centre of the emitter matrix, the delicate twists and curls of the cables that ran along the core to the power cells, the thick insulation sheath and the metal hilt that sealed it away.
"I don't know," she lied.
"Right," Sabine said, scrunching up the wrapper of her protein bar and getting to her feet. "Good talk."
She sounded annoyed, and it reminded Shin uncomfortably of the way Baylan had spoken when she was younger, and failed one of his drills or didn't put her all into an exercise.
"Wait," Shin said, before she could stop herself. She rolled onto her back to check that Sabine hadn't left, and saw her standing with her head cocked slightly and her hand on her hips as she looked at her.
"Go on," Sabine prompted. Gently this time.
Shin swallowed hard, and then nodded. "Baylan left me," she said. The words caught in her throat, but she got them out. She had barely admitted it to herself before now. "I… couldn't leave him."
Sabine sat down again. "He's family."
Shin shook her head. "We're not related. But I've never known anyone else."
Sabine moved her hand, and for a frightening moment Shin thought she might touch her. Instead, she just laid her fingertips gently on the edge of the mattress, an inch away from Shin's arm. Her nails were painted deep red.
"I lost my family too," Sabine said quietly. "My planet. And Ezra, twice now."
Shin looked away from her eyes. "I never had any of that," she said to the ceiling.
Sabine tilted her head. "Well, not many people have an Ezra to lose."
Shin thought it might have been a joke, but she didn't feel like laughing. It would hurt too much anyway. Sabine sighed and Shin felt her weight shift like she was about to get up, and she opened her mouth just to stop her.
"I haven't felt anything since that day."
Shin couldn't tell which of them was more surprised by what she'd said, but it was true so she didn't try and take it back. She did try to stop the tears welling in her eyes and the tightness constricting her throat, but it didn't work. Slowly, Sabine leaned forwards.
"I've been there," she said softly. Shin felt a tear breach the corner of her eye and roll down the edge of her cheek into her hair.
"Then… can you help me?" she asked.
This time Sabine did reach out to her, and Shin tried not to flinch too obviously when her palm came to rest on her forearm. She could feel the warmth of her touch even through the sleeve of her shirt.
"What do you need?"
*
Sabine took her weight as she guided her across the common room to the cockpit access, one of Shin's arms over her shoulders. Her instinct was to loop her own arm around Shin's waist, but she had noticed how little she liked to be touched without warning and instead left it pressed awkwardly between their bodies as they walked. She kept an eye on the white surgical patch Huyang had pressed over Shin's wound once the skin had healed enough, looking for signs that she'd torn her stitches again, but they made it to the cockpit without incident. She lowered Shin carefully into the pilot's chair and then took her usual seat once she was settled.
Sabine flipped the intercom switch. Ahsoka had left early to scout the mountain path ahead, but Huyang had stayed aboard with them. "Huyang, I'm taking us for a ride," she said.
"For what purpose?" the droid asked.
"Uh… We've been hovering for a week now, I want to run the engines for a bit. Make sure they don't dry out," she said, shooting a glance over at Shin. She was too busy familiarising herself with the cockpit to return it.
"This is a T6 Jedi Transport," Huyang complained. "The engines do not 'dry out'."
"Ignore him," Sabine said. Shin was already ignoring both of them.
"Taking us out," she said, and tugged the yoke towards her. The ship rose gracefully into the sky and Shin accelerated a little as they climbed towards the clouds. Sabine watched her hands move over the controls with the ease of an experienced pilot and the care of someone who dearly loved to fly, and was reminded strangely of the way Hera flew the Ghost. She felt a pang of sadness then - Hera and Zeb and her old life were so far away now, and she would probably never see them again. Kanan was further away still.
"This suits you," Sabine told Shin, more to get out of her own head than anything else. It was true though: the other woman was sitting up straight with a look of calm concentration Sabine had never seen on her. When they fought, she looked feral - blistering focus and a vicious will to win - but now she looked in control.
"Baylan didn't like flying the ship," Shin said without taking her eyes off the wisps of cloud starting to break apart on the screen. "I taught myself."
She banked the ship a little faster than necessary and Sabine saw her relish the brief rush of G-force pressing them sideways into their seats. She didn't smile, exactly, but her wide unblinking eyes softened and the tension in her jaw eased for a moment. It returned quickly, though, and Sabine noticed her knuckles tense a little against the yoke.
"What is it?" she asked, and immediately regretted it. Shin hated her prying, but she couldn't help it.
Shin's lip twitched, but she answered the question. "The last time I flew, I was trying to kill you."
"That was you?"
"You didn't know?"
Sabine thought for a moment, remembering the one-man fighter craft diving and twisting out of her gunsights every time she thought she had them locked. "The gold one," she said, and Shin nodded. "No wonder I couldn't hit you."
The tiniest hint of a smile tugged at Shin's lips, and Sabine let herself grin openly at the victory of finally cheering her up as Shin took one hand off the yoke to adjust the thrust vector of one of the engines, and then instead of putting it back on the controls she laid her hand, almost casually, on the console between them.
Sabine stared, slackjawed and stunned, for several seconds. Then she looked up at Shin, who was looking very intently the other way. It was obvious, overt even, in a way she would never have expected from the woman who communicated in angry glares and five-word sentences. She almost didn't believe it, especially when Shin shied away from any attempt to touch her. Cautiously, Sabine moved her own hand - not close enough to touch Shin, but near enough that she would know she had noticed. She was reminded of facing off against her on Seatos, and the way she had read Sabine's guard and taken a counter-stance to match her. Sabine's heart was racing the same way, too. She looked over at Shin to see what she was going to do next. A barely perceptible blush rose on her cheeks under her gaze, and slowly, without taking her eyes off a point on the distant horizon, Shin moved her fingers out until they brushed against Sabine's own.
Sabine couldn't help the gasp that slipped her lips, and she worried for a second that the sound made scare Shin off. Instead, when she looked over, she saw Shin looking back. She hadn't turned her head much, just enough that Sabine could see both of her pale, blue-green eyes. Her usual wide-eyed stare had softened, and now there was a definite smile lifting the corners of her mouth.
"Thank you, for this," Shin said.
Sabine nodded slowly, and flicked out her tongue to moisten her lips. Cautiously, she lifted her little finger and let it drift gently across Shin's until she could curl it into the space between her third and fourth digit. Shin took her counter-stance: her little finger closed around Sabine's.
"So what happens now?" Sabine asked.
"I don't know." This time she was telling the truth.
After Shin suffers a serious injury, Sabine and Ahsoka help her recover
I just can't leave these two alone
AO3 Here
Sabine looked down at Shin's hand, where her finger was still tracing the drawing of the lothcat, the way she had been doing the first time she woke up just after surgery.
"That's Murley," she said. Shin didn't reply, but she hadn't expected her to. When she was awake, she was silent. Sleeping, she mumbled unintelligibly. Bad dreams, Sabine thought. "And that's Chopper," she added, reaching over to tap her own finger against the drawing of the droid. "You're lucky he's not here."
Shin seemed to shrink into the mattress as Sabine leaned across her body, and she pulled away quickly.
"I'm… sorry about the restraints," she said. Shin still hadn't looked at her. "But we both know how dangerous you are."
Sabine looked down again at Shin's wound. Huyang had stripped away her bloodied and rain-soaked robes and replaced it with a close-fitting black compression vest with a wide window in the fabric that exposed Shin's midriff. Two or three hours submerged in a bacta tank would have patched her up neatly and left nothing but a neat scar where the skin rejoined, with maybe a little bruising around the edges. Huyang's surgery had left her looking mauled: staples held stomach together and the skin was raw, discoloured red and purple where the blade had broken through. At least all the blood had been wiped away.
"Does it hurt?" she asked softly.
Shin swallowed, and Sabine watched her throat work. "Do you have to be in here?" she croaked.
"I - no, I don't," Sabine said, more surprised that she'd spoken than at what she'd said.
Shin slowly turned her head to fix Sabine with a sharp, wide-eyed glare. It might have been more effective if she didn't look so tired, but it still made Sabine sit back a little.
"Then leave me alone."
Sabine stared at her for a moment. "I saved you," she pointed out once she had found her voice.
Shin turned her head away and went back to ignoring her, and this time she dug her fingernail into the drawing of Murley, like she was trying to chip him off the wall.
"You know what? Fine." Sabine got to her feet and made a show of storming out, but she stopped once the door had closed: as rude and malicious as Shin was, she couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She put her back up against the door and tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling as she blew out a long breath.
"Uncooperative?"
Sabine brought her head forwards slowly and looked at Ahsoka standing opposite her, leaning in the doorway of her own room with her arms folded casually. She was half-smirking in that irritating way of hers, when she knew something Sabine didn't. It almost never left her face. Now though, she was glad to see it. Ahsoka had been distant for a long time, distracted by Baylan's progress through the mountains ahead of them and almost frustrated that they couldn't leave the Noti undefended to pursue him. At least she was smiling, even if it was a little smug.
"Very," Sabine replied, pushing off the door and swinging her arms to shake out the cramp from sitting by Shin's bedside for so long.
"Give her time," Ahsoka said.
"She tried to kill us," Sabine reminded her.
"Usually you."
Sabine nodded. "So why are we keeping her aboard?"
Ahsoka straightened up and took a few steps towards her. "You're the one that went out to find her." She was curious now, Sabine thought.
"I think I was… meant to," Sabine said. "Like I was guided there."
"The two of you are connected, that much is obvious," Ahsoka said.
Before Sabine could think of a reply to that, she noticed her beskar had been moved from where she left it in the corner. She couldn't keep it in her room, not with Shin in there, but the whole cuirass would need at least repainting after the beating it had taken from the bandits.
"Where's my armour?" she asked.
Ahsoka paused before she spoke, as if she hadn't finished talking about Shin yet. She could see from Sabine's face that she had though, and answered the question.
"Huyang moved it into the workshop, so you could repair it."
Sabine blinked, and then frowned. That was unusually considerate of the grouch old droid. She nodded to Ahsoka, and crossed the room to Huyang's workshop.
*
Shin woke up with two things on her mind: pain, and hunger. The first she could repress, but the hunger ached insistently, sitting in her lower stomach and probing at the walls of her wound until she couldn't stand it. The lights in the room were dim and had shifted into the cold blue of ship-board night, and thankfully the Mandalorian was nowhere to be seen. If everyone else was asleep, this might be her only chance.
The straps were thick and made of long strips of dark leather, buckled around one limb and then trailed under the mattress until it came up on the other side to be buckled around the other. One for her legs, one for her arms. A pair of simpler bands held her down at her chest and her waist, and the buckles for them were out of sight under the mattress. If she were under guard, using the force to remove them would be noticed and stopped long before she could free more than one wrist, but alone she had all the time she needed. Even so, it took a disturbingly long time - focusing on the Force meant tensing her muscles, which sent fresh bursts of pain shooting through her nerves. By the time she had freed herself, her head was pounding, her skin was slick with sweat, and exhaustion nearly overwhelmed her limbs. But the ache was still there, and so she forced herself out of the bed.
Sabine's vision swam and she stumbled for something to lean on, closing her eyes against a sudden rush of pressure at the base of her skull. She blinked a couple of times to clear it, and then experimentally straightened up. She didn't fall over straight away, but she didn't feel like she was standing on solid ground yet. To steady herself, she looked around the tiny room.
The Mandalorian's quarters were surprisingly spartan, given her obvious taste for art. The only trace of her personality was on her desk in the corner, where Shin found half-used containers of nail polish with the lids stuck in place by dried over-spill, a few canisters of hastily labeled hair dye, and mixing equipment stained with pigment and explosives residue. That fit her better than the sterility of the rest of the Jedi ship, Shin thought as she risked a step towards the door and found her legs steady enough to carry her. If she wasn't so painfully hungry, she might have smiled grimly at that.
Compared to the restraints, unlocking the door with the Force was easy - but still more of a strain than it should have been. The main common area was darker than the bunk room, and she could feel the subtle vibration of the ship's engine keeping them hovering above the Noti camp below as she crept across the polished floor. The layout of the ship was eerily familiar - Baylan's shuttle had also been a Jedi transport, if an older, less roomy model and she knew the kitchen cupboards would be over the counter in the corner. All she needed was a ration bar or a protein stick.
Before she even moved she knew something was wrong. She hadn't fully recovered from standing up too quickly, and now her head was getting uncomfortably hot. She lifted her hand to eye level and saw it shaking like a leaf in a thunderstorm. Blood seeped through the staples holding her skin together.
"Oh no," she whispered, stumbling back until she found the comforting solidity of the wall behind her and leaned against it, pressing her eyes shut against the roaring, pounding, echoing pressure of blood rushing through her head. She had to lie down again, before she collapsed, and possibly call for help - the last thing she wanted. She was turning to make her way back to Wren's bedroom when she saw it out of the corner of her eye.
Her lightsaber.
It was sitting on the counter, right under the cabinets she was going to search for food, just… sitting there, like it was nothing. Shin let out an involuntary choked half-laugh at the sight of it, and without thinking managed to take three stumbling steps towards it before collapsing.
*
Sabine's family armour was all but destroyed. The beskar had lost its integrity after all that blaster fire and now she doubted if it would even stop a ballistic weapon, let alone a lightsaber. The vambraces gifted to her by Fenn Rau had fared better, but all that was left of the clan Wren beskar now was her helmet. All crying had done was give her headache and left her feeling drained, and even though it was late and she was exhausted she was still awake, doing her best to reinforce the damaged plating so she could at least wear it again. Creating a new design would distract her from having to mourn her family again, something she never thought she'd have to suffer again, but it was hardly a comfort. Maybe a Howler, or the moon they howled too.
A crash from the common room startled her back to herself and she jumped up from the seat Huyang had set up for her. She paused for a second, listening for any more sound, and when none came she hurried to the door.
Shin was face down on the floor, unmoving.
"Karabast," Sabine cursed as she hurried over to her.
Ahsoka came out of her own room a moment later and helped her gently roll Shin onto her side as Huyang left the cockpit. She'd smacked her head against the floor when she fell and already a deep purple bruise was forming on her forehead. Sabine was more worried about the blood pooling on the floor under her stomach as she moved to support Shin's head in her lap.
"Huyang!" Sabine shouted at the cockpit.
Ahsoka touched two fingers to Shin's forehead and closed her eyes, focusing.
"Well?" Sabine demanded. The bruise was the only colour left in Shin's face, but she could see the movement of her eyes under their lids, so she at least knew was still alive.
"It's not as bad as it looks," Ahsoka reassured her, pulling back her hand. "Help me lift - " Shin's eyes snapped open and Ahsoka nearly dropped her legs in surprise.
"Give it back," she hissed. "I want it back!"
Sabine followed her gaze and saw the familiar lightsaber hilt, sitting next to her own where Ahsoka had left them. She had been surprised that Ahsoka had bothered to bring it back in the first place. Ahoska got up.
"You're not going to give it to her, right?" she asked, watching as her Master picked up the hilt and felt its heft. She didn't say anything. "Ahsoka?"
"Please…"
Sabine barely heard her say it, but Ahsoka nodded. Shin's head fell back against's Sabine's chest but she managed to open one of her hands and raise it off the ground.
"Ahsoka, don't," Sabine said, but Ahsoka ignored her and pressed the hilt into Shin's hand. Her fist closed tightly over it and she pulled it to her chest like a child with a treasured stuffed toy. Her eyelids fluttered again and her breathing settled.
"Ah, Lady Hati has torn her stitches," Huyang said, finally appearing from the cockpit. Ahsoka stepped out of the way to let him approach, but Sabine stayed where she was, cradling Shin's head and staring at the way she clutched her lightsaber.
"Lady Wren, please allow me to remove her to your room," Huyang said, his voice soft and encouraging, but firm enough to get Sabine to listen. She nodded distantly, and allowed Huyang to lift the injured woman away from her. Not for the first time, she wondered when Shin had got so small and weak as Huyang carried her away.
"How did you know?" she asked Ahsoka, once the door had shut.
Her Master looked at her sideways. "It's not like she was much of a threat, Sabine."
Sabine shrugged her head. "I know, but…"
"You're right," Ahsoka admitted. "There's more to it."
"So?" Sabine prompted, when she didn't elaborate.
"Shin isn't like us," Ahsoka said. "We have the ship, each other, the Noti… the only thing she has is that lightsaber." Ahsoka took in a long breath. "I've been there."
She paused for a long moment, and the two of them looked at the closed door. Sabine imagined she could hear the snipping, slicing noises of Huyang's instruments as he put Shin back together again.
"That lightsaber might be the only thing she's ever had," Ahsoka finished.
Sabine remembered how Shin had fought the day Ezra and Thrawn returned home. The way she had stood and stared at her while Ahsoka offered her help, and the way she had run for her Howler like she'd been promised a painful death. A scared young woman with nothing in the world but a sword.
"Goodnight, Sabine," Ahsoka said.
"Goodnight," she mumbled back, and Ahsoka left her to her thoughts.
My first official entry into Wolfwren Week 2024! This basically requires you to have read my Whumpuary pieces, but the handy link below will take you there!
THE MOON - Read it on AO3 here!
Sabine sat up slowly and looked around. The forest was calm, and warmer than she expected. Why was that? The hot fog in her head made it hard to recall anything. It had been snowing, she remembered looking into Shin's eyes with snowflakes dancing between them. Maybe that was why. The sky above her was eerily dark, without any of the stars she'd grown used to on Peridea. There had been a temple, and Ahsoka had been in pain, and then…
Shin. Baylan. The fight.
She scrambled to her feet in a rush just as she remembered that one of her own blaster bolts had pierced her compromised beskar and collapsed back down with a gasp of pain, her breath knocked out of her. Shin had killed Baylan, and then the mist that still filled her brain had rolled out from the door. Then what? No matter how hard she sat on the ground and fought for the memory, it stubbornly stayed buried. Sabine's fingers scraped against the leaves and the peaty ground under her, trying to ground herself the way Ahsoka had taught her in meditation. Worrying about Shin and her Master made it so much harder, but she couldn't move yet and she had to still her mind to deal with the pain. She picked up a leaf absently and turned it in her fingers with her eyes closed. She frowned. The shape was familiar, but it wasn't something she had felt in a long time. It was thin, and neatly divided into four small, rounded segments - which gave it its name. It was a spine tree leaf, which only grew on Lothal. She dropped it like it burned, and it landed on a neatly trimmed grey-green scrap from a carefully pruned Veshok tree. She scrambled backwards in a panic, but everywhere she looked there was more: detritus from foliage from Lothal, Mandalore, Atollon, Yavin IV…
Sabine's back knocked into a rock and she stopped, forcing her breathing back under control. The trees around her were the ominous fir trees of Peridea, stretching up like needles into the empty sky, but she was lying on a bed made of places she'd lost. It was nauseating. Her head spun. She balled her fist in the dirt and crushed a handful of her own history, a galaxy away from where these leaves could have fallen.
The snap of a twig made her look up, and there she was. She stood facing away from her, newly green-tinted hair still in the evening air, hands clasped loosely behind her back.
"Shin," Sabine said, and willed herself carefully to her feet. She winced, and pressed her hand to the blaster burn under her beskar. She took a careful step towards her, and Shin spoke without turning around.
"Where is your Master?"
Sabine shook her head. "Shin, what happened?"
"Everything is okay now," she said. "We need to find Ahsoka."
Sabine straightened up and took a step closer. "It was you, wasn't it?" she asked softly. "You opened the door somehow." Shin didn't say anything. "Did you know?" Sabine pressed. "That you're a Nightsister?"
Shin still didn't look at her, though Sabine was now standing alongside her. She tried not to think about what she'd recognise on the ground if she looked down.
After a long time, Shin said, "I'm not."
"Right." Sabine nodded and swallowed. "No, of course. Do you know how we got here? I remember the door, but - " she gestured around at the seemingly unending forest around them.
"Space doesn't work the same way here."
"How do we get out?"
"Not without Ahsoka Tano." Sabine paused and frowned, and finally Shin turned to look at her. "You can find her, so lead the way." Shin smiled encouragingly, which wasn't like her, but Sabine felt herself straighten up at the responsibility. She took a deep breath and tried to relax her mind. Ignore the pain from her blaster wound. Ignore that she was standing in an impossible place. Ignore everything but the fragile, near invisible thread that tied her and her Master together. It was weak, but Ahsoka had used it before to find her, and that meant it was possible. Without really meaning to, Sabine turned and started walking. Shin swept after her, a blur of soft white-green hair bobbing gently in her peripheral vision.
The forest stretched on, and if Sabine hadn't grown a lot more sure of her limited abilities, she'd worry they were walking in circles. The silence was oppressive - there were no birds and no breeze, and the firs smelled vaguely of ash - so Sabine wanted to speak just to break it.
She flicked her tongue out to moisten her dry lips and then cautiously asked, "what happened to Baylan?"
She was half expecting Shin to just ignore the question. She had said she'd kill him if he couldn't be stopped, and that was exactly what she'd done. If Shin didn't want to talk about it, then Sabine hadn't seen her desperately apologising over his dying body, or the tears she had shed onto his robes.
Instead she said, "he's alive."
Sabine stopped in her tracks. Shin had sounded completely impassive. Uncaring.
"You stabbed him," she reminded her.
"I brought him back. I think that's what opened the door."
Sabine casually let her hand drift to her blaster and fought to keep her thoughts as neutral as possible. Her muscles desperately wanted to coil, but she forced them to relax. Shin - at least, the real Shin - would be able to feel her readying herself. Sabine turned around, and not-Shin cocked her head. Shin's green dyed hair bobbed slightly with the motion and she looked at Sabine with those big pale eyes.
"What did I get wrong?" she asked.
Sabine let the mask she'd schooled her face in fall, and unholstered one blaster. "You're not Shin."
Not-Shin didn't react to the gun. She didn't even flick her eyes down to it. Sabine wished she had noticed earlier how unnaturally still she was standing. Shin hunched forwards, chin thrust out, legs wide, like she was ready to jump at anyone, but the imposter had straightened up. It was eerie.
"Well done," someone said with Shin's voice. "Even her Master doesn't know."
Sabine fought to keep her voice even. There was panic rising in her throat, not just for her but for the real Shin, her Shin, who was alone out there. "Where is she?" she demanded, as coolly as she could.
"Oh, around," not-Shin said with a dismissive wave of a hand that didn't belong to her. She put it behind her back with the other one and stood uncomfortably straight. "Now keep going," she said. "Find your Master."
Sabine put the barrel of the blaster to the woman's forehead. Shin's eyes crossed to look up at it, and then refocused on Sabine's face. She wasn't goading, just looking. Her eyes were glassy and unphased, the way they eyes looked when Shin wasn't listening. Her finger hovered on the trigger.
"Do you think you could?" Shin asked.
"I've shot her before," Sabine replied, but her finger didn't move. Not-Shin stepped back, and Sabine let her go without a bolt in the face. "Karabast," she cursed quietly. She remembered the cold, serpentine feeling of possession from her time on Dathomir, her body abducted and turned against Ezra by a Nightsister ghost, and while it didn't look the same, she couldn't shake the fear that Shin was trapped somewhere in herself. "Why do you want Ahsoka?" she finally asked. The blaster stayed where it was, but they both knew it was an empty threat.
"She has what I want."
"Baylan said the same thing. Morai."
Shin's eyebrows climbed her head a fraction of a centimetre. It was uncomfortably similar to a real expression that she felt a pang of horror that she was pointing a weapon at her head, and had to force herself not to lower her hand.
"Morai," not-Shin repeated.
Sabine was sure that, if this was really Shin's body in front of her, that she'd forgive her. Her hand twitched down and she fired a searing plasma bolt at her knee. Before it had even crossed the distance between them, she had turned and ran. She didn't see the bolt freeze perfectly still in the air, and then slowly lose coherence and dissipate into a rapidly cooling cloud of ionised gas.
The confusion and fear of the confrontation had left Sabine disconnected from the trail that led to Ahsoka, and she hoped she wasn't running directly towards her still. She risked a quick glance behind, wishing she had her helmet, and saw nothing. When she turned her head back, she found Shin again. She was waiting for her, standing tall with her hands clasped behind her back, like they'd arranged to meet here. Sabine fired two more bolts at her, and this time she saw them vanish into the air before they got anywhere near Shin. Sabine stumbled to a halt a few metres shy, and lowered her blaster. The ache from where she'd been wounded had deepened from running.
"Why?" she demanded. "Why me?"
"Baylan Skoll doesn't know where Ahsoka Tano is. And he can't find her here."
"Find her yourself," she spat.
Shin's lips smiled, but it was thin and alien on her face. When the real Shin smiled, it was feral and sharp and a little scary. This was serene, and controlled, and scared her for different reasons. "I can't," the lips said. They were still chapped from the cold of Peridea, the way they had been when Shin had gently touched them against Sabine's own. "I know she is here, but she is lost to me." She paused. "Like this one is to you," she said, gesturing at the body she was moving around.
Sabine's finger hammered the trigger, and two more blaster bolts faded into the air around them like smoke.
"Give her back!" she hissed.
"Would you prefer someone else?"
Sabine blinked and took an involuntary step away as Baylan Skoll took Shin's place. There was no movement, no visible change, just a moment ago she had been speaking to Shin, and now it was Baylan. It was easier to shoot at him, though.
"No?" Baylan's voice sighed, after dissipating more blaster bolts. "The woman herself?"
Ahsoka. Her skin was pallid and lined with the strange green veins, the way she had last seen her, choking on the brink of something terrible on the temple floor. "Oh she doesn't seem to be well," she said, "I've been here before, so much of that power has waned."
"Stop this," Sabine warned, and then it was Ezra looking back at her with his too-bright blue eyes. "If you think I won't shoot him…"
"Shoot, maybe. But hit me? Don't think so."
It would have been comforting to hear him being insufferable just one more time, but his appearance in this place hurt her heart as much as seeing Shin puppetted around by this apparition did. Even so, seeing him again gave her resolve. She lowered the gun.
"What if I stay right here?"
Ezra was replaced by Shin again. "You won't."
Sabine raised her eyebrows. "No?"
Her blaster slipped into the holster and she sat, crossing her legs and resting her hands on her knees.
"Don't," Shin's voice warned her sharply. It was the closest impression yet.
Sabine, against all her Mandalorian instincts and training, let her eyes drift closed.
"No!" Shin's voice screeched, and Sabine felt her movement through the Force a half-second before it happened. Before she could do anything more than open her eyes, Shin had thrown herself at her. Except now it was no longer Shin. Sabine raised her arms above her head to take the sweeping blow from a set of claws on her bracers, and had a fleeting glimpse of dark fur, talons, and burning, hating eyes, before leathery wings beat the air and lifted her into the air.
Sabine faces off against the bandit leader in a last ditch attempt to save her mortal enemy...
This one contains a lot of Making Stuff Up about those Peridean bandits, so one day it'll probably stop being canon compliant
AO3 here
Three hours earlier....
Shin's tent was cold, and she rubbed her balled fists against her chest to warm herself up as she crossed from her bunk to the wash basin. Behind her, she heard the flap open as Feldspar, the leader of the bandits, entered without asking. Shin ignored him for a moment and instead looked at her own face in the cracked mirror. She looked pale and tired, but that was no surprise. The last of her eyeliner was smudged and barely visible around her eyes. She considered using charcoal from the burnt-out fire but no matter how naked she felt without her warpaint, it made her skin itch after a few hours.
"Sister," Feldspar prompted, and Shin forced herself not to grimace. These men were descendents of the original Nightbrothers, and they were nothing like the zabrak colony that still existed on Dathomir: Shin had spent long enough around Morgan Elsbeth to know they were more like the witches of old. When she had first come to them, they had mistaken her ashen skin and pale hair for a Nightsister's, and she had never tried to correct them. It suited her purposes, but pretending to be a witch sickened her.
"Feldspar," she greeted coldly, without looking around.
The men had lost - or maybe never had - the ritual knowledge of their sisters, but they had an instinctive connection to the living Force Shin could barely comprehend, let alone match. Their ability to predict had led them to their quarry without fail, but their empathic telepathy was less helpful: Shin had to seal her mind from them to avoid giving herself away.
"Our enemies are near," Feldspar said. His voice slithered like rats over a corpse. "They threaten balance, and we must strike them down."
Shin had never been able to determine if that phrase meant that the Jedi and her pet Mandalorian threatened to destroy something the bandits protected, or threatened to bring balance to chaos. Peridea made no sense to her, not since Baylan had abandoned her to it and struck out on his own.
She shook her head. "My former Master is a greater threat now." Shin dipped her head and splashed cold water over her face. It washed off the last of her makeup, and she frowned at how young her reflection looked. How small.
Feldspar moved closer, until Shin could see him in the mirror. He wasn't wearing his helmet, and his grey skin and lipless mouth full of rows of spiked teeth were off-putting so early in the morning.
"We have the opportunity to end your Jedi now," he hissed insistently.
Shin tilted her head forwards a little to examine the dark roots of her hair. Before she could stop herself, she wondered if the purple-haired Mandalorian had any bleach.
Feldspar stepped into her personal space and came close to her ear. "Perhaps you can take it from her once she's dead ," he said, and Shin winced. Feldspar would have felt the curiosity in the thought, and the distinct lack of malice she held for Sabine Wren.
She turned to fix his sharp silver eyes with the hardest glare she could muster. "Fine," she said. "Prepare a war party."
Feldspar nodded and left, and Shin was overwhelmed by a crushing sense of foreboding.
*
Shin walked at the head of the formation, a step behind Feldspar. The bandits travelled in a loose group that looked random and disorganised at first glance, but was carefully calculated to maximise sightlines. The forest closed in around them, and Shin couldn't see far into the darkness around them. The Nightbrothers eyes' were better adapted to the dark and she was forced to rely on them to navigate. The feeling that had struck her in the tent had only grown the further they'd gone, and now it was balled up in her chest like a secret she could barely keep.
"Hold," Feldspar whispered. His voice was barely audible to Shin but the others all stopped, no matter how distant they were. Feldspar's eyes were closed against a vision - Shin could tell from the pale wisps of green smoke that flitted out from under his eyelids. "Here," he said, after a moment. "Scatter."
With a rustle of parting undergrowth, the bandits vanished into the darkness.
"We've tried an ambush before," Shin pointed out. It was cold and dark and the anxiety was making her irritable. Baylan would have chided her for being unfocused. She wished she couldn't think like him.
"Not with bait," Feldspar said, and Shin's lightsaber was in her hand and ignited before she had even processed the thought screaming in her head. The Nightbrother was ready for her though, and grabbed her wrist in a crushing grip, forcing the blade out and away. "I am sorry, Sister," he said, and a white heat filled Shin's stomach as his blade forced its way inside. "But a bird will fly to a dying wolf."
Shin coughed. It didn't hurt, not yet. She knew it would, once the shock had passed and her brain caught up with her body, but she had a few seconds to bring up her free hand and hurl Feldspar into a tree hard enough to break his neck. Her arm refused to obey her. She glanced down and saw the cursed green tendrils of witch magic curled around the blade. She couldn't even spit in his face as he yanked the blade free and shoved her down to the ground. Pain battled with fury and hate as Feldspar reached down to pick her lightsaber up from where it had fallen.
Now....
Sabine grabbed her helmet from Shin's side and put it back on, turning as she got back to her feet to face the bandit leader stepping out of the shadows. The familiar sound of Shin's lightsaber igniting pierced the air and the orange light glittered in the rain as he advanced on her slowly.
"That doesn't belong to you," Sabine told him as she unhooked her only lightsaber and switched it on. She had barely found her guard position when the bandit surged forwards faster than Sabine thought possible and struck for her head. She twitched her hands up to block his strike and tried to use the pull of the blades to open his guard. The bandit yanked Shin's blade free of the lock and stabbed forwards, forcing Sabine to hop back a step and swing her lightsaber down and out in a weak block that opened up her left side. She struck out to get some breathing room, but it was wide and predictable and he easily countered.
This was bad.
The bandit was forcing her back, step by step, as each of his strikes forced her into a stance that gave him an opening to attack again. Before she could even hope to find an opening, the bandit leader forced her lightsaber out of the way and lined up a shot that would take her head. Sabine tried to lift her left hand to take the blade on her vambrace, but she knew before she moved it would be too late.
Or it would have been, if the bandit's lightsaber hadn't stuck in the air like it had hit a rayshield.
Stunned, Sabine stared at Shin. The fight had pushed her back past her prone form until she was behind the bandit leader, only now she was sitting up and reaching out, clamping the Force tight around her own lightsaber blade and holding it in place.
Her face was contorted with agony as her other hand gripped at her guts. "Kill him!" she screamed.
Rallying, Sabine swung her lightsaber down to slice through his wrist. Shin's hilt dropped from his severed hand and before he could even scream Sabine raised her foot and booted him hard enough in the chest to send him sprawling into the mud. Before she could move back to Shin, blaster fire erupted out of the trees around her. Sabine managed to catch a few bolts with her blade before they started to impact her beskar. Her visor glowed with red and orange cutting sizzling paths through the rain and within seconds she was overwhelmed. She dropped her lightsaber as she dropped to her knees, just managing to wrap her forearms around her abdomen below the protection of her chestplate. She knew it wouldn't be long before one of their shots found a gap - and even if they didn't, beskar wouldn't hold up forever. Eventually the steel would collapse, and she would die. She glanced over at Shin, and through the blur of colour she saw that she was out cold.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, and closed her eyes.
She felt the rush of the Force moving around her before she saw what was happening. Ahsoka, resplendent in her bright white robes, landed between her and the blaster fire. Her saber erupted into life and whirled in a tightly controlled circle, deflecting bolts into the trees. Sabine's lightsaber shot off the ground by her knee and into Ahsoka's free hand.
"Go!" her Master shouted back at her. "Get her to Huyang!"
Sabine stared for a half-second as Ahsoka started advancing, a tornado made of light swirling around her and turning the rain to steam. She shook herself and grabbed a blaster in one hand as she ran, bent low, to Shin's side. She was still breathing, but barely, and Sabine scooped her into her arms as gently as she could with blaster bolts churning up the mud around them. She wrapped one arm around Shin's back and supported her knees with her other forearm, keeping her blaster gripped tightly as she stumbled back the way she had come.
She couldn't protect Shin like this, and her heart was in her throat the entire desperate sprint towards the sunlight bleeding through the edge of the forest. She nearly fell twice, and forced herself to slow down a little. Behind her, she could still hear Ahsoka fighting the bandits back, and wished she could turn back and help her. Shin, her mortal enemy, needed her more than her ally now, though, so she pressed on.
Relief almost made Sabine scream: Mirshko was waiting for them, already kneeling so they could clamber on. Ahsoka must have brought him when she followed her. Sabine lifted Shin onto Mirshko's back, dimly aware of how light she was compared to the last time they had tangled before she forced thoughts about how malnourished the other woman was out of her head. Gaping stomach wound first, she thought as she swung her leg over Mirshko's back and clicked her tongue. He rose to his feet under her as she wrapped her arms around Shin's waist to keep her close, and then kicked her heels into the Howler's flank. They left the battle behind, and sprinted towards the T6.
*
Shin woke slowly and painfully. Her insides were on fire and her head throbbed at the over-bright ceiling lights. Panic set in when she didn't recognise the room she was in, and she tried to cry out through a parched and scratched throat. All she managed was a hoarse grunt, but it got the attention of whoever was in the room with her.
"Lady Hati," a blurry grey and white shape said, in a voice that Shin guessed was meant to be soothing. "Please relax."
Shin tried to reach out and crush it with the Force, but her arms were bound to the bed and no amount of straining would break their hold, not while she was so weak. She screamed again, and this time managed a cracked and broken howl.
"The bindings are for your own safety, as well as mine," the droid explained. "Lady Wren extends her apologies. In fact, perhaps I should fetch her."
Shin barely heard the droid, and ignored the sound of the door opening and closing, focusing instead on blinking her eyes into focus. Once she could see, she could block out the pain, and once she could block out the pain, she could escape her bindings, and then she could slaughter her way out.
She shook her head as her vision cleared, and a smudge of colour caught her eye. On the wall by the bed, someone had drawn a lothcat. She recognised it from the first time she had met Sabine Wren, underneath that transmission tower so long ago. So far away. The drawing was close to where her hands were bound, and she could just trace the edges of them with one of her fingers if she stretched it. It was the Mandalorian's handiwork, that was clear, and she realised with a strange spike of a feeling she had no name for that she was lying in her bed. She remembered Feldspar spearing her and leaving her for dead. She remembered Sabine. She had stared up into her warm brown eyes as rainwater ran down out of her hair and wondered how she had ever wanted to kill her.
"Shin?"
It was her. She didn't need to turn her head to know, though she had never heard her voice strain that way before. She didn't know what she could possibly say and kept her eyes fixed on the lothcat drawing on the wall rather than face those eyes again.
Sabine looked down at her. Without a bacta tank, Huyang had assured her his surgery skills could save her life and banished her from her own room while he knitted her back together. Shin looked so weak it was hard to believe she could ever be dangerous. Sabine knew she was, even now, tied down and wracked by pain, but it didn't stop her. She pulled the desk chair over from the other side of the room and sat down at Shin's side.
"I'm going to stay here," she said softly, when Shin still refused to take her eyes off the little drawing of Murley on the wall. Cautiously, she rested her hand on Shin's wrist. It reminded her of the way Shin had led her around on Elsbeth's ship when she was a prisoner, and hoped Shin would be able to take something of the same strange comfort she had felt from her then.
Something in Sabine's burgeoning connection to the Force draws her out to the woods just as the Peridean sun rises…
AO3 Here
Sabine jolted awake and sat bolt upright in her bunk with a gasp. The lights in the room were turned low and the chronometer told her there were a couple of hours to go before dawn, so she slumped back against the pillows and tried to figure out what it was that had woken her. It could have been a dream, but since Mandalore she never remembered her dreams, and she had a distinct image of a forest in the rain still in her mind. It didn't look like anywhere she knew, but the trees looked distinctly Peridean to her. When they had been on the Ghost together, Ezra had visions through the Force - but they were strong and overwhelmed him while he was awake. There was something, though. Some strange pull she felt that coaxed her out of her bed and out of the ship. Ignoring it just made it stronger, so she sighed and got up.
Ahsoka was probably already awake, so she didn't bother moving quietly when she left in full armour, carrying both blasters and lightsaber. Shin and her bandits hadn't appeared for weeks now, but they were still out there - along with wild Howlers and probably countless other predator species - and it paid to travel prepared. Sabine hopped down from the idling T6 into the Noti camp below it, and made her way to the edge, aiming for the tree line in the distance. Her plan was to walk until it started raining, and then look for a place that matched her vision, but she was still wary: their slow pursuit of Baylan Skoll had skirted around the trees so far, and from what she had managed to decode of the Noti language, they feared the forests as much as the ancient Nightsister ruins. 'The domain of betrayal', if her translation was right. Still, the Noti were pacifists, and Sabine had weapons and armour that far outstripped anything the locals had access to.
The rain started and the pull got stronger. Ahsoka had told her so often to surrender to the Force when she felt it, but Sabine still found herself trying to resist it: trying to guide herself to a destination she would never find without the help of the Force. It was the Mandalorian in her, determined to make her own way, and while she still hadn't decided the path she wanted her life to take, right now she needed Jedi instincts to find whatever was out there. Something about the pull had changed now - it felt urgent. Desperate, even. Something in the dark between the trees was calling out to her like a distress call. Sabine paused, shut her eyes and took a deep breath, and waited until she could stop second-guessing herself and follow her instincts. When she opened them again, she was already walking.
When she next glanced up from the ground, placing her feet to avoid a series of knotted roots, what she saw in front of her lined up so immediately with the image from her dream that Sabine almost fell over in surprise. At the exact same moment, the tug at her guts disappeared like a cut cord, and she was left standing alone and unsure in the darkness and the rain. Outside the forest, the sun would have risen by now, but under the canopy there was barely enough light to see.
"Hello?" she called, but received no answer. The trees absorbed her voice before the echo could get very far. She doubted anyone would hear her over the rain.
Sabine tried to place her trust in the Force and took a few steps forwards, but when her gut instinct insisted she was going the wrong way, she couldn't help turning back. And there, slumped against a rock between two trees, was Shin Hati. Her hair was starting to grow out and she had pinned it back behind her head, and her clothes and armour had been adapted and added to with bandit equipment, but it was definitely her.
Caution dictated she draw a weapon and approach slowly- after all, Shin was a deadly assailant who had spent their entire time on Peridea trying to kill her. It could be a trap. Sabine dimly recognised that after she had started running towards her, and by the time she had crashed to her knees in the mud by Shin's still form all of her weapons were still clipped to her belt.
"Shin?" she demanded, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking. "Shin, wake up!"
Why did she care? Why was there a roiling, sinking sensation, like a battleship going down, churning through her guts? Why was Shin not moving? Her hair was plastered to her face, which looked even paler than usual, and when Sabine lifted her eyelids she found her eyes rolled back into her head. Her pulse was thready and unstable, but it was there. She wasn't dead, but she was dying.
Sabine glanced down, and saw that Shin Hati had been stabbed.
This wasn't the neat, perfectly circular mark of a lightsaber blade - like the one Shin had given her when they first met - this was a messy, jagged incision that left blood and severed skin behind rather than a perfectly cauterised scar. A lightsaber, even in the hands of whatever Shin and Baylan were, was a Jedi weapon first and foremost, and killing was a last resort. This had to have been a bandit weapon.
A soft cough turned Sabine's attention back to Shin's face, where she saw the briefest flicker of her eyelids. Her throat worked to swallow, and Sabine tried to shake her again.
"Wake up, blast it!" she growled, but Shin remained silent. "Karabast," she muttered, reaching into her armour pouch for a bacta spray and unclipped the cover from the nozzle. "Don't blame me when you're not ready for this," she said, and pressed the tip against the wound in her stomach.
Shin's eyes shot open and she screamed as the bacta started to knit severed veins back together and stem the bleeding. The sound wrenched at Sabine's heart as much as it did her ears, and she gripped Shin's shoulder with her free hand to try and soothe her.
"I know, I know," she said, concentrating on running the device all the way around the rough edges of the wound. "It stings, I know."
Sabine had been unfortunate enough to learn a lot of battlefield medicine during the war, and she knew when someone wasn't going to make it without a full bacta immersion. She didn't know if there was a full-scale tank on the T6, but the alternative was that Shin Hati would die out here, from a wound inflicted by her own allies. 'The domain of betrayal' wasn't a myth after all.
"I have to get you to the ship," Sabine said, trying to sound reassuring and not let on that she wasn't sure that would save her either. The helmet made her sound insincere so she took it off with one hand, scrabbling for a bacta patch with the other. There was no way it would heal Shin's slashed organs or repair her internal bleeding, but it might seal the initial flesh wound enough for Sabine to carry her. She wished she had brought Mirshko the Howler with her, but there was no point thinking about it now.
"Sabine?" Shin's voice was a thin whine that Sabine barely heard over the rain.
"It's me," she said, lifting the tattered remains of Shin's bloodstained robe to press the patch to her skin. The wound was so big the strip barely covered it, but at least the infusion had stopped the more severe bleeding. "You can murder me once I save your life, okay?"
"Took… lightsaber," Shin managed. Her eyes opened for a moment, and a lump rose in Sabine's throat as she saw how bloodshot they were. A second later they closed again, and Sabine worried she had been too late.
"Shin?!" she shouted, and the other woman stirred very slightly.
"It's a trap," she said. "They're… they're coming."
