The effects of bullying or cyberbullying can be devastating, leaving you feeling helpless, humiliated, angry, depressed, or even suicidal. And technology means that bullying is no longer limited to schoolyards or street corners. Cyberbullying can occur anywhere, even at home, via smartphones, emails, texts, and social media, 24 hours a day, with potentially hundreds of people involved. But no type of bullying should ever be tolerated. These tips can help you protect yourself or your child—at school and online—and deal with the growing problem of bullying and cyberbullying.
Bullying is repeated aggressive behavior that can be physical, verbal, or relational, in-person or online. Bullies are often relentless, bullying over and over again for long periods of time. You may live in constant fear of where and when the bully will strike next, what they’ll do, and how far they’ll go.
Physical bullying – includes hitting, kicking, or pushing you (or even just threatening to do so), as well as stealing, hiding, or ruining your things, and hazing, harassment, or humiliation.
Verbal bullying – includes name-calling, teasing, taunting, insulting, or otherwise verbally abusing you.
Relationship bullying – includes refusing to talk to you, excluding you from groups or activities, spreading lies or rumors about you, making you do things you don't want to do.
Boys frequently bully using physical threats and actions, while girls are more likely to engage in verbal or relationship bullying.
Cyberbullying occurs when someone uses digital technology, such as the Internet, emails, text messages, or social media, to harass, threaten, or humiliate you. Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying doesn't require face-to-face contact and isn't limited to just a handful of witnesses at a time. It also doesn’t require physical power or strength in numbers.
Cyberbullies come in all shapes and sizes—almost anyone with an Internet connection or mobile phone can cyberbully someone else, often without having to reveal their true identity.
Cyberbullies can torment you 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and the bullying can follow you anywhere so that no place, not even home, ever feels safe. And with a few clicks the humiliation can be witnessed by hundreds or even thousands of people online.
The methods kids and teens use to cyberbully can be as varied and imaginative as the technology they have access to. It ranges from sending threatening or taunting messages via email, text, social media, or IM to breaking into your email account or stealing your online identity to hurt and humiliate you. Some cyberbullies may even create a website or social media page to target you.
As with face-to-face bullying, both boys and girls cyberbully, but tend to do so in different ways. Boys tend to bully by "sexting" (sending messages of a sexual nature) or with messages that threaten physical harm. Girls, on the other hand, more commonly cyberbully by spreading lies and rumors, exposing your secrets, or by excluding you from social media groups, emails, buddy lists and the like. Because cyberbullying is so easy to perpetrate, a child or teen can easily change roles, going from cyberbullying victim at one point to cyberbully the next, and then back again.
The effects of bullying and cyberbullying
Whether you’re being targeted by bullies or cyberbullies, the results are similar:
You’re made to feel hurt, angry, afraid, helpless, hopeless, isolated, ashamed, and even guilty that the bullying is somehow your fault. You may even feel suicidal.
Your physical health is likely to suffer, and you are at a greater risk of developing mental health problems such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, or adult onset PTSD.
You’re more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school to avoid being bullied. In many cases, cyberbullying can be even more painful than face-to-face bullying because:
Cyberbullying can happen anywhere at any time, even in places where you normally feel safe, such as your home, and at times you'd least expect, such as at the weekend in the company of your family. It can seem like there's no escape from the taunting and humiliation.
A lot of cyberbullying can be done anonymously so you may not be sure who is targeting you. This can make you feel even more threatened and can embolden bullies, as they believe online anonymity means they're less likely to get caught. Since cyberbullies can't see your reaction, they will often go much further in their harassment or ridicule than they would do face-to-face with you.
Cyberbullying can be witnessed by potentially thousands of people. Emails can be forwarded to many, many people while social media posts or website comments can often be seen by anyone. The more far-reaching the bullying, the more humiliating it can become.
If bullying or cyberbullying means you, or someone you know, feels suicidal, please call 1-800-273-8255 in the U.S., or visit IASP or Suicide.org to find a helpline in your country.
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