♱

it hadn’t been what she’d wanted, no, but wouldn’t she be happy to be alive again? wouldn’t she be able to forget about all that?

[melodori]

blorbo-tagging and sometimes art-reblogging sideblog, primarily in stars and time, iconoclasts, and a handful of ocs

my main is @isaquest​ (sorry to all my mutuals)

[ravioliet]

walking a mile in the shoes of someone you dislike is actually kinda awesome because not only are you now a mile away from that idiot but you also have their shoes

[theotherwesley]

He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.

[free-my-mindd]

[shortwaveradioenthusiast]

[coughloop]

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

[okthatsgreat]

dating simulator where it starts normal but it slowly becomes clear that all of the romanceable characters are attempting to cover up an extremely specific murder they committed a year ago before you arrived

[cottoncandylesbo]

i like it when people compliment me. i like it... when people like me. (looks around to make sure nobody is about to shoot me)

[noknowshame]

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

[bonivers]

i haven’t stopped thinking about this tweet for days

[homunculus-argument]

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

[luckyletd0wn]

supid

[homunculus-argument]

supid.

[64mpg]

ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself

[flannelgirlfriend]

I love this post so much my friend put it on my 30th birthday cake

[melodori]

[blackpyrefly]

guy from 6000 bc after having all human knowledge of the history of civilization and culture beamed into his brain: can you show me that "meta knight" fellow again? i find him quite bad ass...

[threedollarsdotcom]

morally grey in the club tonihgt hitting every move questionable style. latr ill go into the bathroom and stare at my reflection for like five minutes just because i wanna

[meteoritesystem]

being a vampire with DID would suck so fucking bad everyone would ask stuff like "what was it like when they invented electricity" and you'd have to be like i dont knowowww i was having some sort of episode and i think i lived in the forest alone for like a century around the time but im not sure i dont really remember. Then they're like "well you must have had a lot of time to hone skills and learn new ones?" and you're like no not really i cant stick to anything because some other guy in my brain will give it up so i mostly was making finger paintings in caves. and they're like "oh cool are you from like caveman times" and youre like no i was turned during the siege of constantinople 😭 and they're like "oh what was that like" and you're like I DON'T KNOWOWWW

[syzygynephile]

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines