i scream @memyslelfandthebeat - Tumblr Blog

radondoran

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prospit-dreemurr

MOTHER OF GOD

t-temmy

ARE YOU FUCKIN

enoshiitma-deactivated20141017

OH GOD ITS BACK

thesylverlining

DEAR GOD THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TUMBLR POSTS IN EXISTENCE.

YOU THINK JUST THE NOISE IS FUNNY AND FITS WITH THE GIF REALLY WELL

BUT THEN

THEN

THE LYRICS START

seriously i have almost crashed my car into a telephone pole, becuase I suddenly thought of this post and started laughing uncontrollably

putridum

amargedom

let-the-music-move-you

I MISS YOU

all i want // kodaline fantasy // the xx dark paradise // lana del rey skinny love // bon iver wings // birdy together // the xx america // xylo swan song // lana del rey fall into your arms // bastille $ting // the neighbourhood explosions // ellie goulding without you // lana del rey into the past // nero sunset // the xx west coast // coconut records baby came home // the neighbourhood strange enough // verite alone / with you // daughter

advanced-procrastination

She is beautiful fuck off

momunofu-deactivated20150808

chillin on a Saturday night

thepope

Calm down jojo

momunofu-deactivated20150808

you’re right, I am looking a little stiff here, I should try to relax

sparkafterdark-deactivated20181

You call that “chillin”?

Everyone knows the best way to relax is with a good book and a warm drink

totallyfubar

I dunno, man,

sometimes I like just relaxing on my laptop

witchchad-deactivated20160310

get on my level boys

sparkafterdark-deactivated20181

Unfortunately to “get on your level” I’d need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

nerdgul

Thats gotta be the sickest burn ive ever read holy fuck

ladamabrava-deactivated20190513

Y'all. Hurricane Irma is a Category 5 hurricane. She can destroy the islands like it’s nothing. Pray for the islands. Send good vibes.

don't go chasing love.

#songs #lyrics

cptsdead

if you are in the position where you can decide to have children:

do NOT have kids if you know you won’t be able to care of them/neglect them

do NOT have kids if you will treat them as an object, and not a source of happiness, or someone you can love selflessly

do NOT have kids if you will punish and/or discipline them in ways that affect them negatively, especially in the long term

do NOT have kids if you will use fear, abuse or trauma to “keep them in their place”, or think that it is the slightest bit appropriate to use such tactics

do NOT have kids in the intent that they will become your “successor” or “just like you”

do NOT have kids if you will not accept or support them for whatever physical or mental disability that they would possibly be born with, or would develop later on in life

do NOT have kids if you will not accept or support them if they would later on identify as another gender, or fall in love with someone of the same gender

do NOT have kids if you will disrespect their want for privacy where acceptable or appropriate—e.g. looking through their things, checking their browser history, demanding to read their texts

do NOT have kids if you won’t support them for any trouble, trauma or abuse they are going through

do NOT have kids if you will be dishonest, about anything in any way, shape or form, to your child

DO NOT HAVE KIDS IF YOU WILL DO ANYTHING MENTIONED ABOVE.

THEY ARE CHILDREN, APPLICABLE TO EVERY HUMAN RIGHT, AND SHOULD YOU CONSIDER EVEN THE SLIGHTEST FRAGMENT OF ANYTHING MENTIONED ABOVE TO DO TO YOUR CHILD, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

afrogay-deactivated20130525

if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited

aidn

if

14th2

great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die

frogmunist-deactivated20190724

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

the-desolated-quill

Originally posted by disneyasastrology

violent-darts

BWAHAHAHAHAH.

kvothe-kingkiller

the way i learned this, it was always told through spoken word. And you’d do the door thing for ages. AGES. literally just making up any old material. ‘behind the foam door is a door made of spinach’ that kind of shit. Go on until whoever is listening has already begged you to stop and has now gone on to pleading, clutching your shirt on their knees pleading. And when you finally said the last line? People went fucking nuts Like there was a good chance of just getting the teeth knocked out of you after telling that joke.

A friend of mine did that shit for 30 minutes on a camp once. The entire fucking bus just exploded in anger when she finished. It was a fucking massacre.