"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Peter Solarz
KIROKAZE
we're not kids anymore.
🪼
taylor price
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shark vs the universe
blake kathryn
Jules of Nature
if i look back, i am lost
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Product Placement
Cosmic Funnies
d e v o n
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titsay
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@menchikun
I know people mean well when they say it but hearing the phrase “you know your body best” as someone with chronic illness is so funny, like man no I don’t I ain’t got no clue what that fucker’s planning and I’m scared to find out
Them: Listen to your body!
My body, whispering in the night: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn
@emsails YOU'RE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT
i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.
this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.
anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:
no you don't understand. i do international regulation of emerging technologies for a living. this WAS me stress dreaming about work
why must reductress hurt me in this way
ok a) lmao me too girl, and
b) once burnout hits you CANNOT work that hard, by your standards, so odds are it actually hit a while ago and you just “powered through” because that’s what you’re used to doing. So now, every day, you’re hitting your limit and thinking “wtf man i used to be able to do this, i used to be competent, clever, diligent” and like yeah. you were. and that burns glucose. welcome to the dumb bitch zone.
and c), lmao, me too girl
fuck b) came for me harder than the first post did god damn
dress codes that arent ppe are stupid as fuck. as an adult human being with a (relatively) functioning brain i have never walked into a place and given a fuck what an employee was wearing. “professional” okay bitch i can make up adjectives too. “grundlous” see easy
whats grundlous mean
of or pertaining to grundle
Ranking animals i’ve had to move out of the road
deer - 1/10
you’ve heard of ‘deer in the headlights’ but have you heard of its much more deliberate cousin, ‘deer who are grazing on fallen acorns in the middle of the road and know you’re there and don’t give a fuck about your murder machine or how loud you honk at it’?
neighborhood dogs - 4/10
i love random surprise dogs as much as the next person but not when i’m driving. not when they’re muddy and wet and want to get into my car but won’t let me read the number on their collar. not when their owners don’t answer and now i’m just responsible for keeping their idiot golden retriever alive when i just wanted to go home.
turtles - 7/10
if you know how to pick ‘em up proper then it’s kinda fun to zoom a little guy over to where he’s trying to go like he’s just minding his business and now he’s flying
snapping turtles - 0/10
you want for that motherfucker to cross at his own speed. dni
baby owl while all his siblings and very scary mother watched - 10/10
i’ve never felt more alive. lil idiot kept hissing at me but would move to i kept having to scooch him over with a shoe in place of a stick or shovel. genuinely thought mama owl was gonna attack me but seemed to realize i was helping her dumbest son over to where she was. scariest minute of my life tbh. he was nothing more than an angry ball of feathers and i fell in love instantly. sky cats indeed.
tarantulas - 0/10
i’ve never tried to move one i just wanted to remind everyone that they’re big enough to see on the road lmao
this is the lil freak of an owl baby for anyone interested
there was backlash from homeschooling "parents rights" advocates in my area before because of a daycare teaching kids about consent...all they learned is that you don't have to accept unwanted physical intimacy. one scenario that happened is a parent told her toddler boy to kiss a toddler girl in class. toddler boy comes back and says that toddler girl didn't want a kiss. it turns out the kids were taught that you don't touch someone if they say "no". parents thought this was ridiculous. I felt crazy hearing them talk about it, why in the world would you be upset by kids respecting each others boundaries, and why are you asking your toddlers to kiss each other in the first place as if they're toys and not human beings?
Related:
If the idea of consent gets in the way of total obedience then consent is the thing a lot of adults would rather discard.
Your straight male friends after two beers: "Hgey man can I smell your hair"
Your friend with the haunted shamisen: [plucks a baleful chord of ill portent]
Kawanabe Kyosai
how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”
*after gossiping* pleasure doing bitchness with you
This shall not live in the tags
small chilchuck images i really like. feel free to add more.
More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here
It's been a hot second since the last time I cried tears of true rage but damn if I didn't come close today
My coworkers were like wow how are you still in a good mood after that my brother in christ after that interaction I went to the break room and took an extra adderall
HI EVERYONE OP HERE I QUIT THIS JOB TODAY
Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust
#a samurai with a flintlock pistol sitting next to a guy dressed as a caveman drinking a styrofoam cup of dr pepper#and it fucks severely
It's not THE renaissance, it's A renaissance. Of what? Up to you
Meet me at the hollow log
