[mypetufo]

i cant wait to get a boyfriend, im all prepared. i punched some holes in the lid of this jar and i put some grass and a twig in it

[sharkwave-zee]

wish i could have been a fly on the wall for THAT conversation! not because i wanted to hear it or anything but because i'd be a lil buuuuug

[renousim]

give me your most controversial music opinion

[empathviv]

the beatles were one ugly guy moving really fast

[segamascott]

[utopians]

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

[deadgenerations]

must have been scary AF to have a tummy ache in like 468AD like uh oh is this the time I get to shit to death.... and then you just fart nasty

[podcastwizard]

sorry boss can't come in today i was on my way to work and then a gentle spring breeze kissed my cheek and reminded me it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world

[theswisscheeserag]

“I hate school I’m sorry Malala”- Funny yet poignant. Acknowledges both the difficulty of the task and the fact that doing that task is a privilege. Gives credit to the people who fought for that privilege with a tongue in cheek acknowledgement of the irony of the initial statement

“I’m just a girl I should be home baking bread not doing calculus” - at best historically uninformed at worst leaps decades back in time. Refusal to acknowledge the charged history of education and slights the centuries of women’s labor it took to reach this point

[simply-a-dream]

you ever be so stressed and you look in the mirror and you’re like wow ok great I’m ugly too

[kosmogrl]

springcore

[h4nifah]

sorry im not giving into the cutting out sweet treats propaganda. life is hard enough

[aegissi]

how it feels to be an employed 26 years old woman whos both lost and free

[k-uwaiti-deactivated20210813]

don’t ask me “wyd” u know i’m at home deteriorating

[kosmogrl]

[swagophile]

me as a tadpole: Water is so fire bro 🔥

me as a froglet: Im kinda seeing the appeal of land tho 👀

me as a frog: Honestly water and land both go so hard 💯

[swagophile]

fuck this post sucks hard

[dogpuppy]

[geothebio]

in my five years delivering pizza, these are definitely the best delivery instructions i’ve ever gotten

[nudityandnerdery]

They typed "door bell" and their dog rushed in to take over the instructions.