Why "doing something relaxingā does not help your anxiety
A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing ārelaxingā things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.
This advice is always well-intentioned, and Iām not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way. Ā
THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a ārelaxingā thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing thatās bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.
You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust meāitās a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt.Ā You canāt physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind.Ā
People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.
In fact, you could say thatās what anxiety isāhyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or theyāll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture.Ā
Therefore, I present to you:Ā
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS
āGo on a walk
āWatch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.
āGo anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching
āDraw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind
āDo yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally driftĀ
āDo literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:
āDo a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.
āWrite something. It doesnāt have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when youāre done. Itās not for publication, itās a relief exercise that only you will see.Ā
āRead something, watch TV, or watch a movieāas long as itās engrossing. Donāt watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in.Ā
āMasturbate. Yes, Iām serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie itās running. It canāt run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (ā¦I hope. If it can, thenā¦ignore this one.)Ā
āDo math problemsāliterally, google āalgebra problems worksheetā and solve them. If you havenāt done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I donāt mean with math, I mean with the anxiety.Ā
āPlay a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel.Ā
āPlay a video game, as long as itās not something like candy crush or Tetris thatās mindless.Ā
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:
āList the capitals of all the U.S. states
āList the capitals of all the European countries
āList all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors.Ā
āList all the blonde celebrities you can think of.
āPull up a random block of text and count all theĀ As in it, or Es or whatever. Ā
Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself. Ā Iāve finally realized that the stuff people recommendĀ never worksĀ because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too.Ā
(Now this shouldnāt have to be said but if theĀ ādo notsā work for you then by all means do them. Theyāve just never worked for me.)
This wouldāve been great an hour ago
This is good advice for anxious peeps and peeps with anxious friends. Seems obvious now but I hadnāt thought about it this way before.
Iām about to sound like an ad but Iāve found that using duolingo is actually really useful too, I mean, i know not everyone finds it to be enjoyable/something they can do for longer than five minutes but it requires me to think and I am also doing something which I canāt get bored of fast
Sudoku is also good as mentioned above and for reading, you should read something you really like because I always feel bad if I space out when reading my fav books because I missed a moment I really like, so get your fav book and read it because it is very affective (for me at least)
Try learning a new skill, if Iām feeling anxious, I will try to do something (like type) with my left hand because itās not dominant, this requires me to actually focus on using my left hand so I donāt have thinking space + I am making my left hand more useful which is always good, if you have shit sight like me, try reading with one of your eyes closed, youāre helping your vision improve and distracting yourself because this is seriously difficult if you have bad vision
And colouring can be something that you have to focus on, it depends on the person really, but I find trying to colour within really small lines is really helpful because it requires a lot of focus, drawing complex things is also good, for ppl who donāt draw regularly too
Memorising things can also work, find something, like equations for example, and memorise them
Obvs, not going to help every single person because different things work for different people but still useful
Also!! Studying but studying things you care about, I can spend ages learning all of the synonyms for some random word, Wikipedia or name sites are especially good for this purpose
Try changing your handwriting if you donāt like it, I have slowly changed the way I write letters and it requires a lot of focus because you will automatically write them so you have to stop and force your hand to learn how to write in a new way, I also write or read in Cyrillic because Iām not very good at it, so if you have a way of writing or reading youāre not very good at, you can practise that too
I find strategy/tactics games like Fire Emblem to be best, particularly bc iām a strict planner/micromanager so even the āboringā parts like inventory management and reclassing distract me completely and totally from my anxiety.
Anyway, I feel like this completely 100% accurate description of anxiety needs to be reiterated:
āWhen we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes.ā
