leave

TW: this is a crude vent blog in which you can find literally any type of triggering thing, proceed at your own risk | 23 | any pronouns | Trying to survive a life of disability, poor mental health and CPTSD

[willowtan]

Having a body is super inconvenient when you can feel it dying around you imo. Why do i need to haul around this always-in-pain sack of flesh. I don't even remember the last time I was properly in it. Propaganda I tell you. Upload my consciousness to my nintendo ds already

[mentalstrawberryogurt]

hurting is not the worst part of life

it's knowing no one will ever feel like you're hurting enough to offer a hand

the kindness you try to offer will never see its way back

they take, take, take

then complain when there's nothing left to give

their need will forever be more deserving than yours

[mentalstrawberryogurt]

I've never felt so alone like I do now

i feel my tastes, desires, feelings and opinions are a nuisance, disposable

they're too dear for me, yet I feel no drive at all to share them with no one because its too vulnerable to undergo another hit

its even worse

i feel like my troubles are the worst sin: an inconvenience

when I can't go, its an excuse

when I can, its not that bad

when it takes too long to pass, it's attention seeking

when it passes quickly, it's faking

shit, I'm so inherently flawed that desire and aches are not enough for me to deserve personhood?

[mentalstrawberryogurt]

is there any salvation or are we just delaying an impeding inevitable end?

[mentalstrawberryogurt]

i am so tired of feeling like my biggest flaw is not acting according to your judgement of right and wrong

[mentalstrawberryogurt]

are you only gonna be satisfied when I'm crawling in the ground, licking your feet and begging for you to not leave me because I ditched everything else in my life for you? do you need so bad for me not to be able to live without catering to your wants and needs? do you expect someone to decide every step we take, but that coincidentally all those decisions are ones you agree and expect?

that's not gonna fucking happen, I'm still my own person

[bl00dfroma-fairy]

im tired of being angry but sometimes it’s the only emotion left

[aliengelic-princess]

[hisuncontrollableanger]

ohhh I have nowhere to put this I have nowhere to put this I have no one to take it out on I'm gonna fucking scream but I can't I can't wake everyone up but I have to put the rage somewhere I have to put the anger somewhere it has to go somewhere it has to get out fuck please please please get it out

[learningfromlosing]

anger is the natural response to emotional neglect and shouldn't take away your chances of being heard and respected btw

[yuricin]

yeah, i hate everything that my abusers did. but what disgusts and angers me more than anything that they did, is the fact that they're living their best lives, with no consequences. meanwhile, i'm still trying to fucking repair the life that they ruined for me

[stargazers-satellite]

challenge: acknowledge your abuser's victimhood without forfeiting your own in the process

[water-activated-light]

oh noooo what have i doneeee (new warmup muse discovered??)

[hellowearerats]

This is too 🧀y. I'm sorry. 🫠

[defautumn]

[pmamtraveller]

By Henry Daubrez

[konoko]