y u do dis? @mermaidscriptures - Tumblr Blog

omg u ever see a cat at the beach

Millennials watching Gen Z organizing huge rallies and standing up to zero-action politicians

i have been spending more time than normal with my mom lately because of all the wedding things and then my birthday and i have a lot of unaddressed issues with her that continue to bubble up to the surface more and more every time i see her. i need to get into therapy and talk about this shit but like damn isn’t it enough to have issues with one parent??!?!?!?!!!!!

dankassmemelord

viejospellejos

yeojie

im screeaming out of my ears

federalbureauofislam

act a fool girls

instarbuckswithdan

happy valentine’s day to the fbi man watching me i love u

memewhore

pixiefoibles

In response to a guy mansplaining something, just say “Impressive. Every word in that sentence was wrong.”

1) It only gets better the longer he spoke

2) Luke Skywalker would be proud

3) He’ll immediately fly to bafflement and telling you why YOU’RE wrong and HE’S right

4) Mark Hamill would be proud

birdsagainsthumanity

5) Carrie Fisher would be proud

roxilalonde-deactivated20251105

power move: put the fbi agent watching you through a series of endurance tests. stay awake for 72 hours. put obscene images over your webcam. chew gum really loudly next to your mic. they may have wiretaps but by god they won’t have peace

penroseparticle

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

meduseld

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

burntcopper

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

bedlamsbard

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian. We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary. We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves. A long bus ride? How long? We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible. We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer. “Two hours.”

Oh.

derinthescarletpescatarian

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

marzipanandminutiae

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

iguana-sneeze

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.