im going to have a stroke
Instead tryβ¦ Person A: You knowβ¦ the thing Person B: TheΒ βthingβ? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierdaβ¦ THE FISHING ROD
As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:
Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.
Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he saysΒ ββ¦.Ahβ¦.. that must be a Russian one thenβ¦.β
Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.
Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the wordΒ βprΓ©servatifes.β Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.
Defined a slang term for meβ¦β¦. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.
Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He saidΒ βI donβt knowβ and turned to me and askedΒ βIs there an English equivalent forΒ ΠΡΠΌΠΈΠ·ΠΌΠ°ΡΠΈΡΠ΅ΡΠΊΠΈΠΉ?β and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.
Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turnedΒ βHow stressful!β intoΒ βWhat stressing!β
Bilingual characters are great but if youβre going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And itβs usually 10x funnier thanΒ βOoops itβs hard to switch back.β
I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When Iβm tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language; Β I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When Iβm REALLY tired Iβll throw some Polish words in the mix.Β
There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people donβt just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs.Β βIβm muy tired! I think Iβll go to my cama and go to sleep!β Nobody does that.
From my bilingual parents:
- Only being able to do math in their original language.Β βOk so that would beeeeee β¦ *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tresβ¦β
- Losing words and getting mad at you about it.Β βGimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHIβ CARAJO. The thing, theΒ oven mitt. Christ.β
- Making asides to you in Spanish even though youβve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish.Β βOye, mira esa, que cara fea.βΒ βMOM FFS WEβRE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.β
- Swears in English donβt count.
- Swears in Spanish mean youβd better fucking run, kid.
- Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because thatβs what your mom said your name was.Β βHi Dee-yanna!βΒ βsigh, Just call me Diana.βΒ βYeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.βΒ
- Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish.Β βYour name is Floor?βΒ βNo, my name is Flor.βΒ βFLOOR?βΒ βSigh.β
Β - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun.Β ΡΠ°ΠΌΠΎΠ»Π΅Ρ ->Β ΡΠ°ΠΌΠΎΠ»Π΅ΡΠ°Ρ ->Β ΡΠ°ΠΌΠΎΠ»Π΅ΡΠ°ΡΡ
- when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. βI go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.β This also happens when i am very tiredΒ
- speaking English with heavy accent you donβt actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesnβt show up otherwiseΒ
bonus:Β
- keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over
- using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirks
all of the above
I donβt actually speak Tagalog, but my momβs Filipino. One of my favorite things is when she forgets how to preposition, so something isΒ βin the tableβ.Β
SOMEHOW I NEVER REBLOGGED THIS?!?!?!?!? this is one of my absolute favorite posts on all of tumblr also, to add to the pile of fun things bilinguals do: cackling over bilingual puns that nobody else in the room will get and then being completely unable to explain why this is funny
Interesting. Reblogging this for future reference.
my favourite is that feeling when you have the perfect response to something but halfway through saying it you realised itβs in a language the other person doesnβt speak so you either just kind ofβ¦ fade out, or try desperately to make it make sense in the other language
I lose my place all the time when Iβm counting in English, but never when I count in German.
Iβm swedish but at this point Iβm so fluent in english that I can switch between languages on a dime.
i hate forgetting a word in english and having to describe but realizing that i cant describe it in english. so im just stuttering between russian and english and none of my english speaking friends can help
In Tagalog, pronouns donβt have gender, so when my mom speaks English, she will sometimes accidentally misgender people (i.e. calls women βhe,β calls men βshe,β etc.)