decided to try to redesign the "goblin queen"-self idea that i have been messing around with finally making a design that i kinda like
and here is a wip where i was trying to figure out the body itself
noise dept.

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@metalpizzacat
decided to try to redesign the "goblin queen"-self idea that i have been messing around with finally making a design that i kinda like
and here is a wip where i was trying to figure out the body itself
bit of practice not what i planned to draw and not how i wanted this to end up but still better than nothing ig
this text post felt very farcille-core :")
Trying to attend anything in public just has me butting against the fact that being tma sucks. Yeah, that hema thing looks cool, how do they feel about trans women? Yeah, the trivia at the lesbian bar looks cool, so like their thoughts on trans women? Oh, that lesbian rave looks awesome, so about the trans women? Just, fundamentally unsure if I will even be allowed to exist in this space, and if I am will I be interacted with? Will I be the pariah desperate for attention but relegated to standing awkwardly in the corner or alone at the bar?
“You can’t let other people’s opinions dictate your life” and the “opinions” in question are people saying I should be stabbed in a city where a woman was stabbed 40 times for being like me.
Like we all WISH this was a “be yourself” issue but its not. It’s a “I don’t want to be hate crimed” issue.
i just want a transfem story where she's transfem the whole time and not just at the end
the narrative of only our endless egg pain is no longer compelling to me, why do you think our challenges and conflicts stop when we come out, why do you think the only time of our lives worth representing is when we're imminently misgenderable, don't you want to see her be a woman? why will you only look at us when we're flat chested boys wearing maid outfits and the moment we decide to take ownership over our lives the story ends???
decided to mess around with some design and animation tests for a possible game thingy(it's meant to be 3d walking sim remake of an old project)
burger and few other things
the three most common "help, I'm trying to do/just did my injection and [nothing]" messages I get are, in order
a little leaked out
there's a bubble
blood!!! there's not normally blood! why blood!
leaky girl
first off relax, it's not a huge deal, it looks like more liquid than it is. next time you do your injection, let a single drop fall from the needle onto your skin and compare it to the amount of liquid that leaked out. it'll barely move the plunger, looks like basically the same dose. I've only ever had one girl go "no it was way more" and she's weird for other reasons.
typically this is caused by moving too fast. after you finish pushing the dose, let the needle rest in place for a few seconds. when you pull it out, put your fingertip on the injection site to hold your skin in place.
when you pull the needle out, friction pulls the surrounding tissue along the path of travel and you end up with a lil path to the outside like >>>>>----. if you hold it in place, things bunch up a lil and helps seal the path like xxxxx----
the TV lied bubbles are safe
if you are in a hospital and having air injected to your veins, do not worry. you are not being murdered, they are doing a bubble study. the tiny bubble left in your syringe will at most cause discomfort. it's entirely unnecessary for our medication (unless you are a very leaky girl!), but when done intentionally this is called the "airlock" technique
when you draw up your dose, pull in a little bit of air and (while holding it with capped needle pointed up) flick the syringe until you have one big bubble at the top to push out. when you inevitably end up with a small one stuck to the side, flick it to unstick it so you can float it to the top. the only reason I do this every time is because I think it's fun.
well yeah blood happens
since subq needles are so small (mine are 29 gauge and .5"/13mm long) it's really hard to hurt yourself too badly. outside of some basic sanity checks like making sure you're injecting into the right place and that you have enough subcutaneous tissue there to comfortably accommodate the medication, there's nothing to really worry about. you nicked a blood vessel.
were your hands shaking at the time? the tip of the needle is a cutting edge on the sides as well as the point, lateral motion with a blade that's inside of tissue tends to cause bleeding. even if it's real small.
one girl told me that blood literally squirted out of the injection site, that one I don't blame her for worrying about. we never figured out why, nothing bad ever happened and it never happened again.
bonus: why the fuck did that one hurt so bad???
this one isn't nearly as common, but I've gotten it a lot. I have never once been able to come up with a good explanation, that seems to just happen.
this is all in the context of subcutaneous injections because, barring specific complications, that's the best ROA. if you do IM just because that's what your doctor told you, please reconsider
I'm talking to girls here because girls talk to me, but I don't think any of this would be different for those of you with a blue-flavored gender accident.
It's really funny in a tragic way to how easy it is to loose connections you thought would last and it hurts even more when the circle of connections is so small that it has wrapped around your neck and is suffocating you
And all for what? Disagreements?
How funny it is that they promise you to let you be a part of their community and help you
And then ditch you the moment you go out of line
The people you thought you could trust the people you thought actually understood the issues of the world exploding once you mention something that points out their privilege of the situation
I don't even like discord as a platform but what else do I have
I've been in that server for long enough to have them see me go across the ocean, see me get estrogen see my art skills improve
And then it's gone in an hour
Why?
I said Americans have privilege even they oppressed on other axis. Yk, as someone who's country is sanctioned by USA over conflict fueled by USA and who's chance to leave almost got jeopardized because of it? I guess I must remain silent and not be anti-american, or risk usamericans exploding
It feels like the world is actively fighting against any progressivness now
Although ngl it does feel a bit worth it cause now I got this banger in dms from one of the server users
Don't aske what have to do with this I don't know either why the conversation ended up there of all places
But it did expand the list of people I am blocked by I suppose, for not agreeing with "we shouldn't point put the privilege men have"
It's not the first time it happened. Perhaps it is my luck. Perhaps I don't know how to keep my mouth shut. But at the same time I don't even say something extreme and evil. Then again so many people get up and arms at mere implication of positivity towardd leftist ideas
So many connections
So many memories
Gone because moderators are unwilling to learn anything that doesn't appeal to status quo
It feels like the ice is getting thinner and thinner by day. How long till the cold embrace of isolation will break through the ice and take to my death?
I shouldn't be as caught up on this. Yet I am. This was the last resemblance of a community I had. Now I more or less have nothing. It's weird to be in a position where you want to speak. Talk to someone. Share a silly thing. And there is just. Nothing
I remember such a silly moment from being with them. Just. A silly chat sharing the bad handwriting with each other. It doesn't even matter . But the moments of just. Mundane fun are so rare
And things that happened since then. I am always afraid of another period of isolation. And I already have seen the consequences of it. I potentially could have been dead. It messes with my head
i am tired also technically a redraw but more so from memory
another redraw thing
you need to love the scared tgirl whos constantly losing her only semblance of community thru tumblr,, you have to show her she matters,, you have to,,
you need to find her friends near her who she can visit and be visited by and go and do things with she can't have all her community through tumblr and discord she needs to have people in person
Yk I'm beginning to think women hold up more than half the sky and most of the women doing a it are trans women.
"Women hold up the other half of the sky..." - Thomas Sankara
"Women hold up half the sky" is a famous quote by Mao Zedong, Sankara was a great feminist and used the phrase, but it originated in China.
I am aware of the Mao quote, the joke I was making is that when taken together the implication is that women hold up both halves of the sky.
oh lmao, very true
On this day in … 1978, the 506 day-long occupation of Takaparawhau (Bastion Point) in New Zealand by the Orakei Māori Action Committee ended when 800 police and personnel of the New Zealand Army forcibly removed the occupiers and destroyed the temporary buildings—including vegetable gardens and the marae (sacred, communal area.)
Originally organized by Joe Hawke, members of his hapū Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei, and other activists, to halt a land subdivision on the Auckland waterfront. The Ngāti Whātua iwi claimed the land had been taken unjustly from them by the crown and the subdivision plan (for a private housing development) would have left Ngāti Whātua with less than a hectare of remaining land. Hawke led the occupation of Takaparawhau / Bastion Point in 1977, defying then prime minister Robert Muldoon.
Two hundred and twenty two protesters were arrested. The occupation and the use of force to end it played a part in highlighting injustices against Māori, and the occupation became a major landmark in the history of Māori protest.
In 1988, the New Zealand Labour Government returned Takaparawhau / Bastion Point and Ōrākei Marae to Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei, with compensation, as part of a Treaty of Waitangi settlement process. The 1991 Ōrākei Act was passed to recognise the rights of Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei under the treaty.
Joe Hawke died on May 22, 2022, and was buried at Takaparawhau, the land he fought to return to his iwi. He was also elected to the NZ Parliament in 1996 and served in there in Labour Party until 2002.
digital art hand drawn by @pyrotoons
Trans girls, in my experience, have largely lived an existence in which for the vast majority of our lives, we've never been anybody's first choice romantically. That's if we're chosen at all.
Second choice? Yeah. Back up plan? Happens. Fetishized? Always.
But never just chosen. Never just pursued. Never loved quite as much as we need. Never the object of obsession. Never the focus of passion.
Every love feels like it's one better option disappearing like a vapor in the wind.
So I say all that to say, if you're romantically inclined, and you love a trans girl. Choose her. Really choose her. Choose her in every moment. Make her feel like she's the only one that matters and do it every day, because it's possible, likely even, that she's never felt that before.
Really choose her, or you will break her heart.
If you're not willing to do that, leave her the fuck alone.
ALSO. FLOWERS. FOR THE LOVE OF GODS GET HER FLOWERS SHE HAS PROBABLY NEVER BEEN GIVEN FLOWERS ROMANTICALLY IN HER LIFE.