The Worst Blog On The Internet

I'm Jack. I'm 19.

[methampheta-meme]

person: god dang it

god: IT HAS BEEN DANGED

[hillaryisaboss]

[strayastoner]

[whawtwhohow]

[distinguishedbaloney]

[hoebutmadefashion]

I’m listening

[anti-scum]

three

[thatsthat24]

have you ever been f****d in the a**

One time a flight attendant offered me a bag of chips and I happily accepted. It wasn’t until after I opened it that the flight attendant told me it cost money and I had to pay for it. And that would be the last time I would ever be fooled in the air.

[fullmetaljackit]

once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes

[penisennui]

[livinmokotory]

adhdalistair:

penisennui:

(via Justin Jorgensen) “In 2007 I worked with photographers Williams + Hirakawa to create a concept piece of me sleeping on a sheet cake. I though these cakes looked like pillows, and there’s the obvious play on ‘sweet dreams.’

I wondered if I could fall asleep on a cake and have sweet dreams. I didn’t. It was pretty gross really and wasn’t easy to wash off.

A few years later, outtakes from the shoot were sold to Getty Images as stock photos. I didn’t know this until 2011 when one of those photos made #13 on the wildly popular Buzzffed.com list of “60 Completely Unusable Stock Photos.”

Into 2014, the Getty Image photo continues to make the rounds on Facebook and Tumblr.”

[skylorde]

i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory

[coelasquid]

I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me

[badass-siobhan]

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

[clavid]

one crack cocaine

[thoughtkiller]

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

[janebuzjane]

debit or credit

[brie3po]

I actually have a gift card

[fantasising-about-escape-blog]

[ratbrick]

OHMYGOD. 

Why would there be a bottle of wine on the stove?!

[iwritewithaposionpen-hasmoved]

WTF Barbie you can’t use a cutting board for a bulletin board

[dirtinthenails]

BARBIE! you should know better than to leave a cheese grater on the edge of the fridge! someone could get hurt!

[swanofmischief]

Um, okay, DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT BARBIE is cleaning her kitchen floor with a garden hose? Get it together, Barbie.

[radical-sin-deactivated20140212]

OH MY GOD BARBIE! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LEAVE THOSE DIRTY DISHES IN YOUR SINK? SERIOUSLY GET IT TOGETHER BARBIE!

[enregize-deactivated20180729]

…Seriously?

People. Wow. Open your EYES.

Is NOBODY going to point out how Barbie is CLEANING HER FLOOR

IN

WHITE

PANTS???

[arsenalqueened-deactivated20150]

CLOSE THE DAMN REFRIGERATOR! YOUR LETTING ALL THGE COLD OUT!

[underneath-corktrees]

Barbie, seriously? The blender on top of the fridge? You could get hurt!!1

[murdock]

Guys for the love of god how can you not notice the freaking rat next to the fridge?! WTF Barbie? Clean your house more often, would ya?

[girlyghosty]

Barbie, who the hell puts a calculator on their fridge. COME ON! GET WITH THE TIMES!

[strawberryoverlord]

I love how everyone pretends not to notice the toaster next to the sink. BARBIE! YOU COULD GET ELECTROCUTED IF THAT FELL IN! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GURL!

[offvocalremade]

what the hell is wrong with you people???!?!?!

omfg how can you not notice the fact the fridge has three layers of drawers on the bottom? what the fuck?? barbie fridges dont work that way im sorry

[aeolus06]

SERIOUSLY?!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! CAN YOU SEE THAT A SERIOUS CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED HERE?!!

THAT WALLPAPER! IT’S HIDEOUS! Get a freakin’ sense of style, woman!

[politenuclearbomb]

theres a dead body

[keepongaming]

last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere

i wasn’t joking

[gendersnaps]

this post has haunted me for like 3 years. every time i start to think i imagined it, it shows up on my dash again and then immediately disappears into the ether for another 17 months

[uoa]

Only 90s kids will remember

[lacroix420]

it doesn’t matter how slow you go so long as you don’t give up

[anthonybourdainpartsunknown]

ok someone please explain this to me 

[lord-kitschener]

[redpilldispenser-deactivated201]

[amishsicario]

Show us the birth certificate Donald

[tombstonettromboners]

WHERE’S YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE DONALD

[egberts]

why did they make us stack cups in elementary school

[cctinsleybaxter]

I had completely forgotten about this but was it just my school that was off the fucking walls about it? They would show us videos in gym of professional cup stacking and yell ‘THIS COULD BE YOU.’ We spent every Tuesday in gym with those gotdamn cups and we all had, like, The Cup Stacking Catalogue. I made my parents buy me glow in the dark cups for my ninth birthday what are we as a society.

[egberts]

we had that too, like they were trying to convince some of us to get good enough to go to contests for it. and sell us cups. so many cups. cups to appease every type of child. not even cups you can drink from.

[cnjandhdonejxksndh-deactivated2]

??im not american is this real or is this a convoluted shitpost??????

[egberts]

it’s definitely real

[klapollo]

I’m american and I can’t tell if my inability to relate is due to regional or age differences bc what the fuck

[gunthatshootsennui]

I’ve never heard of this either….

[dashbeardconfessional]

When your stupid wizard parents force you to make the bed.

[vonmunsterr-deactivated20260113]

this is a fucking cinematic masterpiece

[theartoflaika]

Fun fact: Kevin Parry, the dude in this vine works for Laika and did animation on The Boxtrolls and Kubo and the Two Strings.

[ninja-pyro]

ive reblogged this before but not with that last addition

[hzs-modblog]

Same here.  That’s impressive.