uhhhhh

I really don't know what I'm doing

[merry-go-round-jailhouse]

[literaryreference]

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it

[seashellronan]

grown ass men are out here not eating fruit or vegetables or washing their face and having a list of things women must do to be attractive to them and thus gain their respect like grow the fuck up and eat a carrot literally no woman needs you

[satanstrousers]

Thanks mom.

[jvedi-blog]

fashionably late? more like anxiously early

[rad-roach]

God I love crocs and their entire family tree so much. These are animals that have remained virtually the same for millions of years-pretty much as close to “perfect” as you can get in nature-and this highly optimized body plan is just. A fat sausage with a mouth at one end and chubby baby arms.

This is what peak performance looks like.

[moooniper-deactivated20211222]

I love when kittens lay down and you see their little tummy and its like a sign from God

[moooniper-deactivated20211222]

Tumby

[bluefuecoco]

[prideprejudce]

oh my god???

[cocaptainamerica]

nice try bing

[binches-deactivated20220521]

scroogled

[stability]

[official-daft-punk-deactivated2]

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

[itchiez-deactivated20221227]

every time i see this text post i forget the ending and every single time it decimates me

[egberts]

15 layers of art. none of them labeled. one line that isn’t supposed to be there. good luck.

[marsapartment]

The replies on this tweet are killing me. B y e

[not-saltrat88]

Holy crap he’s real!!!

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

Big fella.

[sirartwork]

Reblog for Gains

[coolkenack]

Sika deer by Anthony House

[weavemama]

cat hate is just so…….. embarrassing

[moontxt]

people who hate cats for being “cold” or “mean” never learned emotional intelligence or depth and think that love is only expressed by being submissive and unconditionally obedient

[curseboy]

[dianas-shortgalpal]

ellen truly is a lesbian icon