turn my pages, bitch

[leninisms]

makes you wonder what magical things were already happening…

[musicalfilm]

there’s nothing so bad for a woman as a man who thinks he’s good.

carousel (1956) // dir. henry king

[rebeccapearson]

You may kiss my hand. Hey. Hey, Mary...

[kosmogrl]

[daddy-long-legssss]

Reckless Serenade

"I think this sort of sounds the best. I really like the recording of this one, I think it’s come out the best. It’s just a love song I suppose. In terms of the sound I guess some of the stuff we were listening to was like the Pixies. And having the drums quite tough, that comes across on that tune a bit."

[x]

[podencos]

“In a 1994 Harvard study that examined people who had radically changed their lives, for instance, researchers found that some people had remade their habits after a personal tragedy, such as a divorce or a life-threatening illness. Others changed after they saw a friend go through something awful, the same way that Dungy’s players watched him struggle.

Just as frequently, however, there was no tragedy that preceded people’s transformations. Rather, they changed because they were embedded in social groups that made change easier. One woman said her entire life shifted when she signed up for a psychology class and met a wonderful group. “It opened a Pandora’s box,” the woman told researchers. “I could not tolerate the status quo any longer. I had changed in my core.” Another man said that he found new friends among whom he could practice being gregarious. “When I do make the effort to overcome my shyness, I feel that it is not really me acting, that it’s someone else,” he said. But by practicing with his new group, it stopped feeling like acting. He started to believe he wasn’t shy, and then, eventually, he wasn’t anymore. When people join groups where change seems possible, the potential for that change to occur becomes more real. For most people who overhaul their lives, there are no seminal moments or life-altering disasters. There are simply communities⏤sometimes of just one other person⏤who make change believable.

One woman told researchers her life transformed after a day spent cleaning toilets⏤and after weeks of discussing with the rest of the cleaning crew whether she should leave her husband.

“Change occurs among other people,” one of the psychologists involved in the study, Todd Heatherton, told me. “It seems real when we can see it in other people’s eyes.”

The precise mechanisms of belief are little understood. No one is certain why a group encountered in a psychology class can convince a woman that everything is different, or why Dungy’s team came together after their coach’s son passed away. Plenty of people talk to friends about unhappy marriages and never leave their spouse; lots of teams watch their coaches experience adversity and never gel. 

But we do know that for habits to permanently change, people must believe that change is feasible. The same process that makes AA so effective⏤the power of a group to teach individuals how to believe⏤happens whenever people come together to help one another change. Belief is easier when it occurs within a community.”

⏤ The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg

[francisforever2014]

how do you just get up and deal with the fact that there’s a last time for everything. there was a last time you sat on your dads shoulders and there was a last time your mom tucked you into bed. there’s going to be a last time you kiss your sister on the head and there’s going to be a last time you hug your best friend. there’s going to be a last time you feel exactly as you feel right now and there’s going to be a last time that person says i love you. i need to lay down

[chilxiuitl]

this resonated with me! i have felt this before. grief and loss and heartbreak, they teach us wisdom if we resist pain from turning us cold and numb. the warmth of humanity keeps us alive in a transcendental sense.

every time is a last time. no two instances or encounters repeat. all the synchronicities and exchanges are ephemeral. when youre with someone, anyone, we have to make it count!

being on my best behavior. sharing my best self. showing love as if it were the last time. something to recordarme bonito because i could day tomorrow.

i want to say: i love you.

[solassitudes]

sometimes it’s better refrain from deep introspection and allow yourself to just be.

[solassitudes]

and by that I mean: I don’t have to sit with myself and overthink and analyze and rationalize every ounce of my being. I am not a case study I am a person. faults and all. like any other person. sometimes I have to look at my mistakes and avoid self flagellation. sigh and learn what I can and move on. remember that I am living, and this is part of the process. free myself of that inner critic. allow myself to be, and try again.

[exitwound]

[stuckinapril]

To take the lesson out of every experience…… to silently forgive people not necessarily for their sake but more so for yours…… to hold yourself accountable but simultaneously view past experiences through a lens of compassion…… to make peace w things you can’t change……. to let people be who they naturally are even if it means losing them… to be okay w people misunderstanding you…. to recognize that things not working out is the universe’s way of protecting you from things or people who were not meant for you…… to be kind and gracious but also to stand up for yourself where necessary…… that is the way to living a happy fulfilling life unencumbered by yesterday’s regrets

[lukitasgf]

So tonight I will perform with him again, and tomorrow set off home, but this letter must be posted today, for you must know that the Bell coming back to you is no longer the pleasure-seeking somnambulist who eloped with poor old Wedder. You must answer some difficult questions for me. You must tell me how to do good and not be a parasite. Tell Candle too, for since he and Bell will soon be lifelong partners we must work together. Tell my dear Candle that his wedding Bell no longer thinks he must do all she bids. Tell him also that Millie Cronquebil was wrong in one thing she said: I will not be a better wife because of the variety enjoyed in the Notre-Dame, unless it pleases him to see me lying flat murmuring 'formidable!' in a variety of astonished tones.

Meanwhile, all the best, both of you,

From she you love most,

Ding Dong Bell.

[bluerotundas]

Do you have any advice for young women?

In general? Sure. Read whatever you can get your hands on, but especially work written by women. Put your hands in sticky things at least once a week (clay, paint, dough, soil), don’t date anyone for a few years, travel when you can where you can, learn the skill of listening to your body— rest when you are tired, eat when you are hungry, drink when you are thirsty, and move when you are anxious. Swim as often as you can. Try to live alone at least once. If you can’t live alone, make time to be alone often. Carry pepperspray and do not learn to hold your tongue. Learn to sew, or weave, or knit. Unlearn the impulse to apologize for things that are not your fault. Pleasure yourself. Every once in a while, remind yourself of how loudly you can yell, how quickly you can run, and wildly you can dance. Allow yourself to cry for your mother. Spend as much time as you can in female-only spaces. Spend even more time with older women. Listen to their stories. Memorize their gray hair and lined faces, their swollen joints and sagging breasts. Cherish the gradual appearance of these things in yourself as an inheritance. Hold hands with other women. Spend some time naked in your home. Adopt a cat, or a fish, or grow some caterpillars into butterflies on your window. Eat heartily and drink to enjoy it. Go hiking and scream from a peak somewhere. Sometimes, allow yourself to act like a child again— climb a tree, scrape up your knees, and lick cake batter from the spoon. When you clean your home, open all the windows and beat the dust from all the curtains. Laugh loudly. Do not become self-deprecating to encourage others to laugh with you.

[slayerbuffy]

It’s a Wonderful Life 1946 | dir. Frank Capra

[recomvery]

I don't want to live a life thinking that other people are bad. That humans are born bad. That you can't trust anyone. I want to believe that people try. That they are flawed but want to do their best. That people are mostly friendly, trustworthy. That there is good in most everyone. That people who don't treat me well have given up trying because they were hurt themselves. That people do bad things because they are at a disadvantage. I want to believe people are good.

[stuckinapril]

learning lately that a lot of confidence is about owning up. like "yeah i'm a little addicted to my phone right now" or "yeah i'm not really over this person yet" or "yeah i still get pretty anxious in crowds" just saying anything at all but then following it up w "but i'm trying to get better" and being super nonchalant and unaffected. so powerful. you would literally be undefeatable in the face of even the most judgmental person. no one can judge you for things you already know about yourself and are trying to improve on. the trick is to know yourself from the inside out, to hold yourself accountable, and to actively improve every day. like that is literally the secret to never feeling like you're at the mercy of somebody else's judgment

[billy-crudup]

I was so sad the day I met you, I can’t remember why. LITTLE FISH (2020) dir. Chad Hartigan

[outofthedarkness]

““…And I seem to have such strength in me now, that I think I could stand anything, any suffering, only to be able to say and to repeat to myself every moment, ‘I exist.’ In thousands of agonies―I exist. I’m tormented on the rack―but I exist! Though I sit alone on a pillar―I exist! I see the sun, and if I don’t see the sun, I know it’s there. And there’s a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there.””

— Dmitri to Alyosha in Book XI, Chapter IV of The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky. (via cataclysm-in-repose)