être libre.

( an indie kousei arima blog. )

[haraff]

‘Don’t forget me, okay?’

- Kaori Miyazono | Your Lie in April (2016)

[fine-anime-edits-deactivated201]

View this post on Instagram

don’t forget about me

Anime: Your Lie in April Song: tomppabeats - lonely but not when you hold me Editor: havikuro

[owarus]

Top 21 Male Characters » as voted by my followers ☆

#13: Arima Kousei - Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso

[aesthetic-quote]

Maybe…Just maybe, the light can reach even the bottom of a dark ocean.

Arima Kousei

[twinkliings-deactivated20181202]

 As much as she wanted to tell him the truth, she wouldn’t let herself.  The last thing she wanted was to jeopardize anything they had. She  probably didn’t have much longer so, she would just have to tell him  the way any girl admires a boy. A letter. Although he wouldn’t be able  to see her, but she would be watching over him until he no longer  needed it. Unless he says the way he is his entire life, she would stay  by his side and make it known that he is never alone. There was  nothing he could do to get rid of her if he never says it.

 Kaori was another step closer to getting to play with him. He was  standing and would hopefully go and start playing without her having  to tell him. Though it was in the music room and not on a stage with  people clapping and cheering while awaiting to hear them play, she  loved it just as much. It was only them. Maybe some people listening  outside of the door but no applause and no competition. They could  both mess up without and Kousei wouldn’t have anything to fear. It  was just them.

 “ Shall we play then? “

[metronomc]

Kousei has to will his heart to be still. It’s booming in his ears, and he almost misses what Kaori says to him. He knows it’s easier to just say ‘yes’ to her at this point, but he’s stubborn, and afraid of what will ( or won’t ) happen once he’s at the piano. But when she looks at him like that, he can’t help but breathe out a defeated breath.

    “... Fine,” he huffs gently -- gripping her hand and nodding. He wouldn’t say he’s been ‘defeated’. Just ... a little motivated. “Lead the way.”

[iparadxse]

            『 ☾ 』・・・ “Yes! I would love to show you!” When he leaned up she took a few steps closer and gently took his hand in her own. “My name is Jeanette! It is very nice to meet you!” And that’s when she takes a peek down to her phone and starts heading in the right direction. “The Tower is this way!”

[metronomc]

Kousei doesn’t expect Jeanette to grab his hand, so when she does -- he’s at a loss; does he grip it back, or pull away? It would make sense to just -- let her lead him by the hand, right? That’s not weird?

    “I uh --” He doesn’t know what to say, so he’ll roll with a generic, “It’s nice to meet you too!” and let her pull him down the street.

[faeneko-blog]

[metronomc]

like for a short starter?

[limitlessplaylist]

Visit Original Link

[apparatum]

i found | amber run

[twinkliings-deactivated20181202]

 She could see in his eyes that he truly wanted to play piano but there was  always that one thing keeping from that. Kaori had been trying to tear that  thing down since they met. If only he just kept staring at her and never  down like he always is.

 “ What did I say about looking down? Look at me. I know you can do it  because I believe in you. So does Tsubaki and Watari. They want to hear  you play and I want to play with you. I don’t want to stop playing with you.  I don’t want any other accompanist. I want you. “ It’s as simple as that.  Maybe his thoughts would change if she had told him about her health. No.  She wouldn’t. She would just continue to be her stubborn self until Kousei  had his butt at the piano chair.

 “ Take my hand, Friend A. “

[metronomc]

    “–…?” Kousei catches himself staring up at her as if he’s taken aback – bright eyes blinking and wide. He almost forgets to breathe; he’s speechless. He swears his heart stops in that moment, and he has to take a second to remind himself that this girl is in love with his best friend. … He’s just ‘the accompanist’. ‘The stand-in’. ‘Friend A’. That’s it. She wants him to play because he knows how. … Right? Feeling this way ( whatever it is ) is inappropriate.

Kousei sucks in a nervous breath as he brings himself away from his thoughts. He knows that – despite the ache in his chest – now isn’t the time to dwell on what “could be”. Times like these – these little, personal moments they shared were all that he had. And he’d never forgive himself if he ruined one.

When Kaori holds out her hand, he does as he’s asked and carefully accepts it. Kousei knows his protests will fall on deaf ears. They always do. So he keeps himself silent – choosing instead to revel in their brief contact. Is that really his heart pounding against his rib cage?

[metronomc]

Visit Original Link

shy boy | district 78

[twinkliings-deactivated20181202]

 After the other had gotten a good distance away from the blond that was  starting to boil. She had no idea how much time she had left and all she  wanted to do was to spend it playing her violin the way she wanted while  Kousei sat behind her, playing the piano. Whether his playing was a mess  or as the first time she heard him, she wanted to be with him always and  it’s extremely difficult with his constant fear of not being able to hear his  notes. 

 “ You need to realize that what you have is a gift. The way you play tells  a story. A sad one. But it’s the most beautiful thing anyone could ever  hear. “ Who knew if her words would get through to him. They didn’t have  much longer either. Kaori was meant to go to the hospital for some test  results and possibly more blood work but perhaps it wouldn’t kill her to  skip it to try and get Kousei to play. Even if it’s just a little. It would mean  progress. And she would’ve been the one to get him through this.

 “ ‘ Don’t be a leaf, be a tree ’. Charlie Brown. ”

[metronomc]

... She makes it sound so easy, and when Kousei looks up at her he can see Kaori believes in what she’s saying. There’s no doubt about it. To be able to just -- drop everything and play the way she does, so daringly and so free --  he’d give anything. ... But something in him stopped two years ago; there’s a mental block in the way, and try as he might, Kousei doesn’t believe he can get over it. Not at this rate. Yet, somehow -- when he looks at her, it’s almost as if --

    “You sound so sure of yourself, but how ...” Kousei hesitates then, his eyes moving downcast. He doesn’t know how to shake her off without giving in. He doesn’t want to disappoint her out there in front of an audience; he’s out of practice, and anyone else would’ve given up on him by now.

But Kaori is different, isn’t she? Roaring one minute and calm the next. ... She’s so hard to read.

    “How do you know I can do it?”

[wonderlanddreamsx-deactivated20]

I wish I loved myself as much as I loved you.

(via wonderlanddreamsx)

[limitlessplaylist]

Visit Original Link

red arrow | gem club

[twinkliings-deactivated20181202]

 She had his entire attention. He couldn’t even take a proper step back and it  was hardly a second after that swings her foot under his so he’s now on the  ground and quickly taking the same leg and pounding it down on his head.  Poor Kousei should know that things like ‘ I’m just not feeling it ‘ will get him  in this position.

 “ Whether you’re feeling it or not, you’ll always end up doing it because I’m  here and I won’t take that for an answer. “

[metronomc]

Even if he might want to, for her, it’s not like Kousei can just -- turn it off. Reluctance to play always has him pinned under her fury, and it’s a price he’s willing to pay. But -- ... He can’t fathom why Kaori is so persistent ( or why said persistence always lead to bodily harm ). And here she was, kicking him senseless until he manages to scramble up and away in between kicks to protest.

    “It’s not just that! It’s complicated!“ Kousei didn’t mean to shout at her, but she’s being unreasonable. ... Even if she’s right. “It’s more than just not feeling it.”

He’s cradling his head in his hands when a weight begins pressing down on his chest. A dull pain that squeezes the air out of his lungs and makes him grit his teeth together the longer he thinks. His heart hurts and he can’t figure out why.

    “Like this -- I just, ...”  Can’t find the right combination of words to say it -- “I can’t do it.”     “... Sorry.“

[twinkliings-deactivated20181202]

 Well now she’s even more annoyed than before. She has to do it the hard  way now, doesn’t she? “ See, this can be fixed. Just stand right there for  a minute, okay? “

 Kousei, you better run.

[metronomc]

    “Huh--?” Now probably isn’t a good time to freeze up, but when Kaori gets that look in her eye -- Kousei can’t help but stop and blink owlishly at her. Like a deer caught in headlights. He knows what’s coming, but something in him gets stuck -- and he doesn’t move much farther than a single, stumbling step backward.

    “I don’t think that’s how it works --!!”

[twinkliings-deactivated20181202]

 “ Then what’s stopping you? Whatever it is, that can be fixed. “

[metronomc]

    “I guess I’m just -- not feeling it.” That’s a half-assed excuse, and they both know it.