pirates, cats & whatever current brainrot I'm in

Vale ~ 30 ~ Italian ~ she/her

[hiveswap]

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

[elliot-amy]

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

[gastrointestinalhallelujahcannon]

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Archbishop James Ussher claimed that the Heaven and the Earth were created on Sunday, the 21st of October, 4004 BC, at 9:00 a.m. This too was incorrect, by almost a quarter of an hour. It was created at 9:13 in the morning. Which was correct. The whole business with the fossilised dinosaur skeletons was a joke the palaeontologists haven’t seen yet.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EARTH!!!

[my-random--thoughts-deactivated]

[evaconly]

every time this post comes across my page on a new platform i smile because we’re all just enjoying her adorable joy

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

“She matches her new blankie” is an official joy and whimsy post

[every-lemon]

so my spouse is part of a weirdly intense but mostly benign men’s workout group that meets at like, 5:30am outside every day, even in winter. they do a lot of burpees and lugging cinder blocks up hills and stuff.

they take turns leading the workouts and tomorrow is his turn. I asked what he was planning. he handed me a sheet of William Carlos William poems from a large stack he’d printed.

I said “what” and he explained, helpfully, “it’s a William Carlos William themed workout.” I asked what inspired it and he said “I’ve been planning this for months.”

[every-lemon]

it was a smash hit.

a dozen guys showed up (more than usual). spouse brought a red wheelbarrow and they took turns bringing cinder blocks up the hill with it. then they broke up in teams and did a relay with an "icebox" (cooler filled with 40lbs of ice). at the end he opened the cooler to reveal it was full of beach plum lacroix and all the guys cheered. they drank sparkling water as he read 'approach of winter' out loud.

he was home by 6:30am.

[louisegluckpdf]

scantily is basically the most classic way to be clad

[prettyaveragewhiteshark]

How quickly we forget the noble and impenetrable iron

[redstonedust]

all those posts that are like "you and your blorbo swap lives" "draw your blorbo in your outfit" etc etc are fun and all but every time im like. bold if you to think i have a singular blorbo. its a bleebus circus up in here.

[ink-phoenix]

Fascinated by the thought of the plural of blorbo being bleebus

[ichigo-kuriimu]

the japanese “-ne?” particle and the british slang term “innit” serve the same function

[ichigo-kuriimu]

Standard English: It’s cold, isn’t it?

Japanese: Samui desu ne?

British: It’s fuckin’ freezin’, innit?

[ichigo-kuriimu]

i have to do everything around here

[notahorseindisguise]

i hate this cause i did japanese for like a year and this explains the use of the -ne particle WAYYYY better than my teachers ever did. it took me ages to comprehend what this post makes abundantly clear.

my teachers: its like a, a little rise at the end of a sentence, to show that you are seeking a response, while not warranting the -ka particle which would make it a proper question.

me: ok. i guess i get that??

this post: its like saying “innit?” 

me: oh. oh no.

[wind-on-the-panes-deactivated20]

fun fact: afaik, "-ne" was inherited from the Portuguese settlers/priests that stayed in Japan in the 16th century. It comes from "né?", which the contraction of "não é?", "isn't it?".

It's LITERALLY "innit".

[twofingerswhiskey]

oh so like "eh" in canadian

[the-last-teabender]

*un-Babels your Tower*

[smithsonian-official]

i ADORE the anomitinity of tumblr. when i post stupid ass shit from my mush brain on like snapchat or whatever i gotta deal with messages like “are you okay?” and “what does this even mean”. here i can just post 30 pictures of dinosaurs in a row and my followers will be like YEEEEEAAAA BABBY

[smithsonian-official]

the other day i posted something on snapchat saying “if we gave monkeys guns i think deforestation would end” and someone sent me a link to an online therapy site i hate it here

[watcherscrown]

i know this really isn't the point but i'm loving the attempt at spelling anonymity

[cute-catts]

[fucxingcuties]

[dead-0n-main-deactivated2021101]

I know everyone’s talking about how the cast of Danny Phantom is full of gay and trans characters exclusively to piss of Butch Hartman but let us not forget, Butch’s bread and butter, Fairly Odd Parents…

Timmy’s parents were 100% sure that Timmy was going to be a girl before he was born, as seen in the episode Secret Origin of Denzel Crocker.

Cosmo seems to be the only other one in the know about this, and has baby pictures of Timmy in a dress on hand

Then, in the episode The Boy Who Would Be Queen…

When Wanda does, inevitably, transform Timmy into a girl to teach him a lesson…

Cosmo immediately panics.

AND in the episode “It’s a Wishful LIfe” when Timmy wishes he never existed…

The Turners have a daughter instead.

In conclusion:

Timmy Turner is trans and used the power of one of his fairy godparents to wish that everyone in his life completely forget that he was born and raised female for a portion of his life, including his parents and his other fairy godparent.

[w0wls]

Share to make butch hartman mad he accidentally keeps making characters trans

[luckydreaming]

Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.

[mancomics]

Electrons

[luckydreaming]

I should kick your ass. 

[herpsandbirds]

[catsofyore]

The Heavenly Twins. 💕 Postcard from my collection, no date.

[erumelde]

[taylorluvsstars]

rewatching the Our Flag Means Death fight scene to The Chain by Fleetwood Mac just to feel something again

[beeshibe]

my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.” 

so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree. 

[beeshibe]

she’s so pleased with her self

incredible

parents are weird 

[voidbat]

yeah but this is about as accurate as it gets.

you say “nail jello to a tree” and most people think jello all by itself.

but if you put any actual thought into what you’re doing and then give it just a little support

well gosh. look what happens.

please tell your mom good job.