THE MICROPHONE

*STATIC NOISES* *CLICK* NEW AUDIO INPUT RECIEVED PEANUTS CLEAR WHERE ARE WE NOW cohosting Ollie (they/them) goodbye Mike [Genuinely not sure how i pulled it off, but i currently have joint custody over Uwuifier's old vessel, Ollie] [i would love to say this is an official account, but it is well and truly not] [oh also this is an unreality blog, based on the character The Microphone from Blazeball]

[post-uwuifier]

i took ovew a month off

and cut yoo bitches some swack

teww a fwiend to teww a fwiend…

SHE’S BAAAAAACK!!!!! UwU

[microphone-blazeball]

[THE CHORUS OF THE RETURN BY THE GARAGES]

[pastabaguette]

hooves edit

[microphone-blazeball]

[do you know what's really annoying about being a gimmick blog? my main gets nothing on good on my dash, but here, where i cant bloddy reblog any of it, i get Equius in da jaccuzzi. that's fucked up!]

[ivy-meshle]

Ok I actually know how to handle this one! You’re going to want to create a sideblog on this account (I’m assuming it’s a case of two accounts and not just a sideblog?) and password lock it. Then, to reblog it to your main, you’re going to go to that sideblog on your main, tap ‘view previous reblog’ and reblog it there.

Or, like, just create a regular sideblog and @ your main whenever there’s something you want to reblog there

[microphone-blazeball]

[oh man im a total dumbass i forgot you can have multiple blogs on one account. i may simply cut the middle man and drop my old main and move it onto a sideblog here, i havn't really been on that old one in a while now. thank you!]

[pastabaguette]

hooves edit

[microphone-blazeball]

[do you know what's really annoying about being a gimmick blog? my main gets nothing on good on my dash, but here, where i cant bloddy reblog any of it, i get Equius in da jaccuzzi. that's fucked up!]

[thedogeveryonehates]

[microphone-blazeball]

oh damn that's pretty cool you should have seen what NaN could do cause they're not physical so it just sorta goes through them

one time right they got one of those tricky balls Jaylen threw you know the ones but they missed the swing so the ball was going to hit them right and you know i was a little worried those things are dangerous but NaN just puts the bat through thier chest ball flies right through them no one saw it coming but they technically hit it stole second base

[tallymarkbrothers]

WARNING OBSTRUCTION IN THIRD PORT LEGUME DETECTED OPERATOR SIGNALLED

ERROR REPORT:

𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓀ℯ𝓇 𝒽ℯ𝓁𝓅 𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕚𝕟 𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓽'𝓼 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔫𝔲𝔱 𝔣𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔰 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔨𝔢𝔯 🅣🅗🅔 🅢🅗🅔🅛🅛🅔🅓 🅞🅝🅔 🄷🄴 🅆🄾🄽'🅃 🅃🄴🄻🄻 🄸🅃 🅃🄾 🅂🅃🄾🄿 ｉｔ'ｓ ｂｅｅｎ ｈｏｕｒｓ

WORTHY INFORMATION FOR THE UNEDUCATED

[bloopsalot]

Man I miss Blaseball. Anyways here's the Unremarkable Derrick Krueger

[microphone-blazeball]

why did you call me over?

... fanart?

they're making fanart of me?

MY SONG?

uh hello! It's Derr here.

thanks for the art! um i really like how you did my face here, it really looks like im sleeping. what do i say now yeah, uh thanks... i miss it too. i never played that long, but i smashed it while i was there. if only i had gotten another shot... oh damn sorry for going off like that, thanks for the art!

- Derrick Krueger

[armengoldira]

[microphone-blazeball]

hello,

this contraption is officially Ron Monstera approved, he will soon be arriving for his copy. if a copy cannot be procured in time, please leave your front door unlocked, as this will leave the least structural damage.

your truly, the Ron Monstera audiothaumokinetic research centre

[burningcrab]

so there was definitely a jessica telephone vs jaylen hotdogfingers epic rap battles of history in the blaseball universe right

[microphone-blazeball]

hey, Jaylen here. why did you want me?

oh no, don't talk about that

... she promised me she'd help me train batting when i joined the lineup if i did it. i was desperate ok?

of course i won though.

[tallymarkbrothers]

this is definitely a pretty obvious question, two where have you been?

Two: To answer your kind question, Los Angeli! Turns out it's pretty easy to hide from an infinitely expanding black hole in an equally infinite city.

[microphone-blazeball]

𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕠 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕖𝕣 ⓟⓐⓡⓚⓔⓡⓢ ᴘᴀʀᴋᴇʀꜱ... 🅟🅐🅡🅚🅔🅡🅢 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔢𝔩 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔴𝔬

𝕕𝕚𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝓶𝔂 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓯𝓯𝓲𝓬𝓮

[graepix]

If you think about it, the Wyatts Mason were the Miku of blaseball for a hot minute.

[microphone-blazeball]

[DISTANT INDIGNANT ACEVEDO NOISES]

[save-family]

Urgent update my little brother is dying 😭

Today we took our little brother to the hospital because he suffers from an infection that affects his breathing and causes him pain. I hope that every living conscience will help us save our young son’s life and donate any amount you can.

Unfortunately, there is no treatment in the hospital for my little. Help us before it is too late.

[paper-mario-wiki]

hey, this is the account belonging to the sister of @save-hijazi-family2. same campaign, which has been confirmed to be real.

their campaign is here:

Donate to Save Mohamed and his elderly parents from genocide, organized by Ahmed Awad

Hello everyone, I'm Ahmed Awad, This link is for my friend Mohammed and … Ahmed Awad needs your support for Save Mohamed and his elderly par

do not hesitate to reblog and donate, please!

[paper-mario-wiki]

URGENT:

LESS THAN 3K REMAIN FOR THIS CAMPAIGN, AND TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE FOR OP'S BROTHER, WHO HAS TO UNDERGO SURGERY SOON. PLEASE REBLOG AND DONATE IF YOU CAN

[iwilleatyourenglish]

we’ve added a single cishet man to my horror server and group chat and half the time when he says anything, we react with ✍️ like we’re taking research notes and i think he hates it

[iwilleatyourenglish]

[microphone-blazeball]

hi everyone, Ron Monstera speaking,

when we first started the Seattle Garages, i began taking notes on Mike Townsend. at first, i was just recording his field play and music efforts, but it soon became clear that i needed far more material to adequately map out Townsend.

by the end of season β3, i had recorded his opinions on Seagulls, the fighting game series TEKKEN, and Henry Marshmallow.

when he was sent to the shadows, i revealed my findings to the team. It was, of course, slightly shocking to learn that out of all the players on the Seattle Garages, only three had not taken extensive notes on Townsend.

it was, however, not surprising. he was always the cishet white guy baker in a team of monsters, immortals, catboys and boogeymen, and for this we never truly understood him in those early years.

godspeed, and may he come back soon.

This has been Ron Monstera, good night

[squidbroom]

i like how blaseblr has given up. now we just go to real baseball games and play pretent

[microphone-blazeball]

[im still trying, but i don't really think anyone is watching honestly. i only just got here, it's such a shame to miss it.]

[walmart-the-official]

“This would do numbers on tumblr” you’re so right, 0 is definitely a number

[medici-official]

So is 10.

[walmart-the-official]

Yeah

[somekindofgimmickblog]

So is 103

[walmart-the-official]

Wait no

[zsam-the-xkelepunz]

So is 10,000. @communist-usa-real get the list.

[communist-usa-real]

@sovereign-state-of-alaska @tamil-nadu-official @this-is-goa @totally-oregon @buffalony-official

@maharashtra-official @axom-miss @karnatakaofficial @canadian-tire-real @tamilnadu-official

@mumbai-official @communist-usa-real @officially-gay-va @definitely-north-america @antarcitica-official

@official-the-pacific-ocean @the-real-atlantic-ocean @hyderabad-unofficial @delhi-the-capital @thestateoflouisiana

@amul-unofficial @ohio-thestate @maryland-officially @definitely-the-real-belgium @the-united-state

@literally-the-first-state @official-sc @workplacefire @totally-romania @the-real-catholic-church

@kansas-official @new-mexico-official @the-state-of-parana @in-n-out-officially @houston-official

@real-life-england @totally-india @anti-timeloop-police

[anti-timeloop-police]

247 is also a number

[microphone-blazeball]

[TYPWRITER CLICKS

4-6-8

[TYPEWRITER SLIDE]

[DING]

[jake-clark]

[meiiiwaku]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame @worldheritagepostorganization

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

is this the ORIGINAL?!???

[laughconfetti]

[creepymutelilbugger]

oh holy shit i didn’t even know where this meme came from

[roses-blog-of-things-deactivate]

OH MY ACTUAL GOD THE ORIGINAL

[thenumberonevelvetcake]

ORIGINALS ON THE ROLL

[same-pic-rick-roll]

This is sacred ground.

[gimmick-thief]

apparently the same guy also made this meme too

[silverspoon-miss]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[halojones06]

I AM NOT WORTHY!!!🙇‍♂️🙇🙇‍♂️🙇🙇‍♂️

[bill-son-of-boreas]

holy shit the original

[microphone-blazeball]

[TUMBLEWEED SOUNDS]

[provie]

Another older embroidery, one that I've kept for myself. It's Blaseball's commissioner, Parker McMilan |||||! We all know and love his famous quote: "what".

[microphone-blazeball]

what

do i say that?

...

wait

[anti-timeloop-police]

the interdimensional tear in reality keeps spitting out random items from across the multiverse.

sigh

we are not equipped to deal with this shit

[microphone-blazeball]

portals flicker in static

vault doors bypassed by simple pick

the historian extends apologies