anyone has a stream link for the golden globes?
styofa doing anything
h

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@migaytion
anyone has a stream link for the golden globes?
anyone with a fucking link to the emmys please help a sister out
aaaaaaaaaaaa the fuck it was easier to find a link to watch the emmy when it was on tv than now that is online AAAAAAA
so i sent this email/“essay” to cards against humanity and uh
i didn’t expect to get this far
Lmao, this is amazing
You are born with the ability to see whether people listen more often to the angel or the devil on their shoulder, based on the opacity of each- if they listen more to the angel, it’s more solid and the demon is more transparent, and vice versa. You recently met a guy online and you’re finally going to meet. You go in for a handshake and glance at his shoulders, but you can’t see the angel. Only a solid demon.
Run. That’s my first thought and it keeps playing in my head over and over again. Run!
“You OK?” asks the man before me.
I realize I’ve been standing frozen, probably looking spooked. “Yes,” I fake what I hope is a convincing smile. I look back at his right shoulder, there’s nothing there, then to his left shoulder where a solid colored devil rests.
As he turns to our table I glance over the restaurant to make sure my powers are still working. There’s a woman one table away with a transparent devil and a translucent angel, she listens to the angel more. The woman across from her has a devil that’s translucent, she listens to it a little more than she should.
I’ve had this power my whole life, to see which side one listens to, but never before have I seen a completely solid devil, never before have I seen the angel completely gone…
Run!
Turning back to him I seen he’s pulled my chair out for me, watching me expectantly.
I could run now but what if he follows? Maybe it’s best I don’t tip him off, assuming I haven’t already, and sneak out while he’s not looking.
“Thank you,” I sit down.
He sits across from me and looks down, pulling on his long sleeves. “Order whatever you want,” he mumbles, “don’t pay attention to the price.”
“Oh, OK thank you.” I can barely pay attention to the menu. I glance over the restaurant, planning an escape route from the restroom.
“It was at 5:50,” he says, picking right up from where our last conversation online left off.
“I watched that video a dozen times and couldn’t see it.”
As we talk he seems just like the shy sweet boy I met online but then I glance at the devil on his shoulder and remember to be scared.
I’m looking at his shoulder so often that he glances back to see what I’m looking at. Worried about it I glance down and gape; on his arm a cut peeks out from under his sleeve.
He sees me seeing it and panics, pulling his sleeves down.
My gaze falls to the table and we sit there in silence.
This whole time I’ve been avoiding the people with the more solid devils because they listen to them more, I never questioned what the devils were saying. His devil isn’t telling him to hurt me, it’s telling him to hurt himself, that he’s worthless and doesn’t deserve me; and me acting scared of him isn’t helping.
“Don’t listen,” slips out before I’ve finished getting my thoughts together. I take in a long breath and speak slowly. “Don’t listen to the voice that tells you you’re useless, that you’ll never make a difference… You’ve made a huge difference to me.”
I risk looking up and see him teary eyed. “Thank you,” he whispers, and beside his head a barely visible angel fades back into existence.
Thank you so much for doing this prompt @hannahcbrown!
To all the amigos out there, know that you are loved ❤️
What do angels actually look like per the bible?
Well, according to Ezekiel 1 they might look something like this…
According to Daniel 10 something like this…
According to Isaiah 6…
In Ezekiel 10…
Again in Ezekiel 10…
Basically, when the people writing Scripture tried to describe what they saw when they saw an angel… they run into the end of their imagination… they can never quite seem to fully explain it because they had trouble even comprehending what they saw, let alone being able to describe it to someone else.
Yeah, that’s usually how people responded to seeing them in the Bible…
There’s a good reason why angels’ standard greeting is ‘Do not be afraid’.
I used to listen to this radio show and one thing I remember because it was so funny was a Christmas special where an angel showed up to tell the shepherds about the birth of Christ. The conversations went:
Angel: “FEAR NOT.”
Shepherds: *screaming*
Angel: “I SAID FEAR NOT.”
Shepherds: *screaming LOUDER*
Angel: “WHAT PART OF FEAR NOT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING?”
So demons are fallen angels but they don’t look scary because they’re fallen, that’s just what all angels look like…
Maybe that’s why so many Christians see visions of Saints or the Virgin Mary instead…like Jesus is all…no, no see being human made me realize sending Angels might not be the best idea. I don’t know if humans can handle this. So I’m gonna just send mom
@fem-deanwinchester
I’M GONNA JUST SEND MOM
God: The humans are scared.
Mary: Fine. I’m on it.
Jesus: It’s either Mom or the thousand eyed flaming wheel, Dad, do you really think the humans are gonna be chill with that when they’re terrified of spiders already?
God: Hey now, some of those spiders eat birds.
Jesus: …Dad…
God: …To be fair, Australian wildlife was my dark creation phase.
Australian wildlife was my dark creation phase
y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”
every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen
i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”
so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)
anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”
and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything
You pleased a mad fae trickster
(via serena_jillian)
cat: *apex predator with over 2,900 confirmed kill*
humaine @ cat:
dude…
Omg…..
Let’s just say the vampire diaries
You know what, if I have to be rescued by Oliver “Manpain” Queen, I’d rather just rot.
the people from scandal
this is the react pic i use when people say stupid things to me. my face says it all
You wake up with two small lumps on your back, just around your shoulder blades. Your friend has a similar dilemma, however, theirs are on their forehead, and look like zits. Small horns protrude from theirs, while feathers come from yours.
Within a month, you have large, white, dove wings, while your friend has long, curly horns. Turns out, you’re an angel, they’re a demon, and you’re supposed to fight. But you both’d rather just go see a movie.
“We just, like, really bonded over growing mysterious additional appendages,” the angel tries to explain to the Heavenly Agent that comes to ask why they are not in the process of thwarting their enemy. “And, like, she’s not really doing anything evil? Besides, you know,” the angel continues, almost under her breath, “being hella cute.”
“What,” the Agent says. “What was that last part?”
“Nothing,” says the angel unconvincingly. She squints up at the sky and then back to the Agent. “Must have been the wind.”
The Agent wishes that they’d just use heaven-born angels, like in the old days. These earthly messengers are…tedious.
The new angel looks at the Agent guiltlessly and stubbornly doesn’t think about how cute her friend’s butt is in case they can read minds.
Judging by the look one the agent’s face, they can.
————–
“Why aren’t you out there tempting humans?” The Demonic Agent demands of the newly minted demon. They feel their rage growing hotter as they watch her spin again in her desk chair.
“Don’t want to tempt humans,” the demon says. She appear to have been using her new horns as receipt spikes. There’s one for fro-yo for two.
“Then attack your nemesis,” the Demonic Agent tries.
The demon gives them a very dry look. “Go fuck yourself.”
The Demonic Agent wants to cry. “You’ve been given awesome powers, respect, a title, and the duty to do what you ALREADY do– fuck with people. Why. Aren’t. You.”
The demon makes another slow rotation. “Got stuff to think about.”
“What. Stuff?” Asks the Demonic Agent through gritted teeth.
“Nunya,” the demon says.
“What?”
“Nunya fuckin business is what,” the demon says. “Now get outta here, I gotta seduce this chick.”
The demonic Agent feels his hopes rose. “You’re going to tempt a human?”
“I’m thinking more along the lines of a long-term committed relationship with an angel,” the demon says, grinning a sharp grin.
The Demonic Agent buries their face in their hands and wishes demons were less obstinate creatures.
I’m in fucking love ❤️
Give me more!
where can I buy more?
Thanks for doing this prompt @caffeinewitchcraft!
Imagine knowing Beyonce could’ve been your mother
The best Twitter acc
This is a beautiful thing to spread.
omg, there are prints of these tweets somewhere here on tumblr. someone find it and put these pics with it
I AM SCREAMING 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
NOOOOO 💀💀💀💀‼️
THIS IS AMAZING!