my lesbian jesus
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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Monterey Bay Aquarium

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Kiana Khansmith
hello vonnie
wallacepolsom
will byers stan first human second

ellievsbear
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Cosmic Funnies

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shark vs the universe

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@miik-siik
my lesbian jesus
Spire shenanigans
Silksong!!!
Bell Beast is so cute it makes my cold heart ache :(
(Please don’t spoil anything)
wanderers
never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, a non-binary to pick one of the binary genders, or a silksong fan about the deadpool incident
Shout out to Characters who are shells of their former selves! You died and you’re not coming back! You don’t recognize yourself and neither does anyone else, and it’s anyone’s guess what the fuck you’re supposed to be now!
what draws me to decay i think is how utterly it rejects dichotomy. it comes from both within and without; it's the mechanism that forms the clock counting down the days until we die, and it finds its way back to itself inside the body through inertia and opening. rot is a connective force that reaches out to itself through us, and rot is a destructive force that pulls everything apart, literally and metaphorically. to exist is to be marked; to be stained indelibly. to touch is to accumulate that stain and spread it. corruption is the tie that binds and the teeth that fray the cord between them until it breaks.
I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do
the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)
now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.
and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.
and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.
I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.
eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.
but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.
so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.
and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.
the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.
all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.
and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.
I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.
again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.
so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.
took me a bit but this is roughly what the cage looked like, without the middle platform
It was something that was originally used in the back for carting boxes, but was repurposed into a teenager cage
they'd wheel it out and the one open side would be backed against either a wall or a large display (like very tall rows of soda boxes or something)
Then I'd get in, they'd push the thing so it would be as flush as possible against the wall, and then I'd stick my hands through the bars for them to handcuff me. there'd be a sign up top explaining the bit, and then a shopping basket tied on front for people to drop the money into.
the handcuffs were fake, and I could unlock them myself for obvious safety reasons. I would get more donations if they were tight, though.
After maybe a month or two, I asked for a harmonica to sell the bit. they also tried giving me a mug, but it was too awkward with the handcuffs. I got kind of okay at playing the harmonica, but the main point was just to do one sharp blast to startle people into looking down, and then I'd threaten that I had no idea how to play, but would do so anyway unless they donated to my bail. managers actually got me a prison jumpsuit to throw over my uniform, but it was really fucking awkward so we stopped eventually. I also got a metric fuckton of mardi gras beads so I could lure small children over, to then mournfully tell them of my imprisonment due to not cleaning my room, etc. parents would be moderately irritated that I'd lured their children over with beads, but would respect the game that I'd given their kids a whole new fear. I had some parents even ad lib what I could have been thrown in prison for. guaranteed donations.
obviously, the prison bit worked best with younger girls. my roughly 50-60 year old manager once congratulated me on doing so well with the donations because I "looked like a cute sad little puppy in one of those RSPCA commercials. like a helpless puppy or a kitten." wearing makeup and earrings also increased the rate of donations.
had to explain to another girl how I regularly got $20s, which was when an older guy in a suit walked by I'd rattle my handcuffs slightly to draw attention. 10/10 times the guy would walk over, and I had to tell this girl like. If you avoid eye contact and sound uncertain you will get at least $20. I am sorry. this is for children's cancer research.
cannot stress enough that the other employees fought to get to be in the cage. customers were so awful and the weather was so shitty. jail meant sitting down with very few expectations, talking and joking with people.
Anyway. Shit was definitely not an allegory, though it could be used as one for about 11 different things.
Still better than customer service.
[ID: 1. Tags reading: #I can't tell if this is a true story or allegory.
2. Picture of a rolling cart. The sides and back of the cart have bars similar to the bars of a jail cell. The front is fully open. There is a shelf just above the middle of the cart. The sides and back extend past the shelf.
3. Text reading: Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food serivce worker talking about their actual week. /end ID]
(via @arianwells )
Some people play video games to get the evil out of their systems. Sometimes that evil is directly violent in nature, sometimes it’s white collar crime.
another show that deserved better.
all of infinity train now on the IA
can u guys rb this n add how you crack your eggs in the tags? i thought cracking them in the sinks’s edge is universal until i saw my friend cracking an egg on the counter instead and it was so pervese and diabolical
I wouldn't say I'm a lapsed cultist. I still accept the basic worldview--I believe that Cthulhu lies in R'lyeh in a deathlike sleep, I believe his Star-spawn shall one day cleanse the earth and usher in an age of shouting and killing and reveling in joy, yada yada--but I'm not, y'know, religious about it. Cthulhu has lied sleeping for, like, countless aeons, he's probably not waking up in my lifetime. I doubt giving up my Friday nights to chant "Cthulhu fhtagn" with a bunch of naked old guys in a basement is gonna wake him up any faster. I mean, if I ever have kids, I'll probably start going again, but that's more about teaching good morals.
inconclusive
The ADHD urge to not
To just not
I have several overdue assignments
If Sherlock Holmes was Isekai'd to a fantasy world he would just deduce the rules of this world and get back to solving crimes. He'll find an elf girl sidekick,name her Watson, and pretend like nothing happened.
"If you look closely, you can see traces of chalk dust on the floor. Our murderer must have used a magic circle to kill our victim."
"Actually Holmes, this looks like salt. Quite unusual for a magic circle, since it can be scattered so easily..."
"It tastes like salt too. Good eye Watson. Let us start by visiting the fish mongers."
"Well I would enjoy some fried dragonfish, but how does this help our investigation?"
"A process of elimination, my long-eared friend. There're only two ways for the culprit to get salt in the city. They could have brought it in themselves-"
"But then they'd have to pay the tarrif!"
"Very astute! No, a much likelier option is that they bought it here. Either the docks or the meat market would be the place. And I have a hunch that our culprit is fishy in more ways than one."
"But Holmes, how did you know the merfolk ambassador was the killer?"
"An excellent question, the key was the footprints."
"But he doesn't even have feet!"
"He doesn't as of right now. But you forget, the magic circle."
"I see! The killing spell was a water spear, which normally requires a circle."
"But doesn't if you're already imbued with water magic like our scaly ambassador."
"So the circle..."
"To grant him a pair of feet. For just long enough to leave distinctive footprints in the scattered salt and to make us suspect a two-legged killer."
"By the Goddess, Holmes, you're a genius!"
Makes sense.
Anyway, getting sheer autism vibes from Holmes
Good. That means I wrote him in-character.
i would watch 3 seasons of this show. the animation would be colorful on everything except holmes who remains in his usual British browns.
Everything else would be in a modern anime art style but Holmes would be drawn like the old illustrations.