|CANT stop throwing shade!!| I only reblog, I dont reply bc of my main blog | anti ddlg, anti race play, anti onision, anti religion (but pro acceptance and tolerance towards others beliefs)đŒpro equalityđŒ đpro certain aspects of bdsm, pro kinksđ Please dont spread hate to any community.
Borderline Personality Disorder has one of the highest suicide rates of all mental illnesses. Here are some things that I am certain contribute to that:
Some professionals refuse to treat BPD patients simply on the basis of that diagnosis. Without even meeting us, we are judged to be not worth treating.
Many professionals see BPD patients as the âworstâ, most âdreadedâ type of patient. There are countless stories of mental health professionals speaking about the very idea of BPD patients in disdainful ways.
Unlike most other mental illnesses, patients with BPD are not viewed as âsickâ, but as bratty, manipulative, and/or ungrateful. There is a pervasive idea that we donât try hard enough, or that we donât want to be helped. This is a view mostly held by our families, but is encouraged by some mental health professionals.
Many professionals focus on helping our families cope with our symptoms rather than how we can cope with them. Our disorder is seen by many as an illness that effects those around us more than those with it.
when I went to buy some food today I honestly heard a tourist girl saying how she wishes she could have a Korean bf and how Korean men would find her more attractive than Asian women because sheâs white and fits Korean beauty standards and then her friend turned to her and said âwhile we are here we should find ourselves some Korean oppas for the night, I think calling them oppa is so hotâ and then they both laughed and Iâve honestly never been both so digusted and embarrassed in all my life tbh. sometimes I wish I could not understand English ngl.
you: I could probably have sex with my partner of 6 months.
me: I literally cannot feel sexual attraction to my partner until a bond of a good amount of months/years is achieved, and I canât choose when it happens, or with who.
you: demisexuals are fake and shouldnât be here.
me: just please let my people live.
There are people who choose not to have sex with someone until they marry them or are of legal age, and they donât claim to be âdemisexualâÂ
âdemisexualâ is just a way of going âI actually have to fall in love to have sex, and clearly no one else falls in love before having sex. Look at me, Iâm so specialâ Itâs like when Pansexuals were spreading that âhearts before partsâ BS
no offence but like can we maybe just let people identify the way they want to and use the terms the feel comfortable with/make them feel empowered and if you donât like them you donât have to use them? its not that hard.Â
Hey friends! I am generally in no way a fan of too many labels and like to just be what I am without it having 10+ definitions attached to it, but if we are to dissect demisexuality, which is the closest to what I would claim myself to be, then hereâs how I see things:
I completely agree that a lot of people would wait to get to know someone before they had sex with them. That isnât uncommon at all. BUT the way I see it, that alone doesnât constitute demisexuality. To me, demisexuality isnât about waiting because it feels right, but about ONLY experiencing sexual attraction once you know a person on a very personal level.Â
Non-demisexual (excluding ace): can feel sexual attraction but willingly chooses to wait until they like/know the person well
Demisexual: does NOT feel sexual attraction until they like/know the person well.
Now, thatâs just my humble two cents. There are countless definitions for this floating around, and I wouldnât presume to have the right one, because there probably isnât a single right one. A definition without a solid base is pointless, so I mostly see this as an interpretation. Yâall can choose to see it as just something you do, or slap a label on it if you prefer. The whole point of this is to be comfortable with yourself, and whichever of the two options does the trick, you do you :D
You know whatâs messed up? People make fun of women for reading romance novels in which men are kind, chivalrous and sexually generous to the women they love, but men watching violent hardcore porn where women choke on dicks is considered normal, and âshamingâ someone for it is considered more taboo than the porn itself.
And women reading romance novels has certainly yet to lead to a culture where men are considered lesser if they donât emulate the men in the pages.
I wonder the fuck why.
Another woman says her boyfriend has told her that her vagina is ârepulsiveâ and that he canât stand to look at it. Instead of advising her to ditch the scumbag, Stephenson tells the woman she should sit her boyfriend down like heâs a five year old child and read a book with him about âphysical diversityâ and help him to see that all vaginas are beautiful at the expense of her own feelings about her body.
Most of the letters Dr Stephenson receives from women go along the lines of, âMy boyfriend wants to put his penis in me but I donât want to/find it painful/donât enjoy it/am too tired/have just had a baby/am post-menopause/etc. Is there something wrong with me?â The standard reply given out by the good doctor is, âYes there is something wrong with you. Try wearing sexy underwear/getting an operation/letting him penetrate you in different positions/using a gallon of lubricant/giving him a blowjob instead.â
Pamela Stephenson is using her platform on the Guardian to advise women that being a penis receptacle is inevitable. If it hurts or if you just plain donât like it then you have to fix that shit because how will you get a man? If your boyfriend tells you your vagina is so disgusting he doesnât want to look at it (but still wants to stick his penis inside it) then you just have to sit him down and try to make him see that itâs actually a nice vagina. If you dump him, how will you get another man with that hideous vagina youâre sporting?
When women express disgust and revulsion at the idea of having sex with men, it doesnât occur to Dr Stephenson to suggest they may not actually be heterosexual. Disgust and revulsion at the idea of sex with men is a Big Problem because then men might not get to put their penises inside women and that wonât do at all. The best thing women can do is interrogate their desires (sound familiar?) and rationalise and correct the absolutely abhorrent feeling that you donât desire sex with men. Because thatâs what youâre for.
Read it  (especially that last paragraph) and weep, because itâs truer than true and very saddening.
Ann Tagonist and FCMâs pieces on PIV are what ultimately made abandon my idiotic libfem thoughts. Iâm incredibly grateful for the bloggers who help baby radfems like myself discover ways to liberate ourselves.
Fuck Greg. Just from Patreon he makes over $4,000 plus Laineyâs little bit which is over $1,000. All together they make over $6,000 a month on Patreon alone!Â
Both Greg and Lainey get on YouNow almost every single day. Iâm not sure how much they average on tips per day. But regardless itâs still money in their pockets. Greg still sells merch, and his shitty books as well. He still gets money from YouTube. Not as much as he used to but still the money is there. So does Lainey.Â
And this stupid mother fucker decides to make his channel a paid channel. Which okay thatâs not where I have the problem. TallVideos said that he was automatically charged when Greg did this. So if thatâs true anyone else that had a card connected to their account was also charged. That means people who did NOT agree to being charged for that had money taken from them by Greg.Â
I call him a stupid mother fucker because he then makes a video crying about how some people say they can not pay to watch his videos. Makes a whole fucking video crying about how the IRS is about to rock his fucking world for the scam he was trying to pull with them. Compares himself to bands and their t-shirts. (He literally charges the same amount for his own t-shirts.) Cries that people say that he isnât worth the $.49. (He isnât.)
Cries about never having a real âbondâ with his fans. That all it was was the fans getting something and Greg getting nothing. Nope Greg didnât get anything but views which got him money, attention, his wife, the girl he cheated on his wife with, ect. But thatâs not good enough? Selfish fucking fans. He then says YouTube is all about satisfying the viewers if you canât do that youâre shit. If someone doesnât like your content no they arenât going to fucking watch it? Are you stupid? Itâs the same with any kind of entertainment? All musicians, actors, even fucking porn stars know this. You donât get to blame people for not fucking watching you.
HE LITERALLY TALKS ABOUT ENTITLEMENT. A grown ass 30 year old man with two children, wife, and several pets who has made money from screaming at people, harassing people, bullying people, making fun of serious topics, and literally just humping things who owns hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of equipment, furniture, cars, houses, and luxury items IS CRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE BEING FUCKING ENTITLED.Â
Not everyone wants to work the jobs they work. 99.9% of the fucking population doesnât want to work the job that they work. But because they are responsible adults they fucking do it because they have families to take care of and bills to fucking pay. They keep their hobbies but understand that we have to be responsible and we canât just depend on others to pay our fucking bills for us!Â
He literally brings up the whole killing himself thing again. DISGUSTING.Â
âPeople talk about his finances like they know whats going on.â He says they wouldnât talk if they actually knew what was going on. Greg we donât have to know specifics about your fucking finances. We see your house, we see your cars, WE SEE YOU FLY A FUCKING PATRON TO YOUR HOUSE. We see a grown ass man making horrible financial choices and crying and blaming everyone else for those problems. A responsible adult would do what they had to to make sure they have a stable income to deal with any financial issues that are going on. Such as getting an actual job, selling unnecessary luxury items, or downgrading their living situation to be more affordable. So yes we will keep talking and keep pointing out the bullshit.
âI make content for people who care. Itâs never been about anything else.â Bull fucking shit you always bring up subscriber counts to smaller channels to make yourself feel better. And youâve talked shit on the majority of your fans before. So donât act like you give a fuck about whoâs watching as long as they are watching and giving you money.Â
He uses the word survive so much I want to vomit. Again fuck you Greg you make more money than 99.9% of your fucking subscribers. Most of which are under the age of 18 that canât pay for your Patreon or even your Youtube Channel. The rest are probably young adults trying to go to school or even just working minimum wage. Those people will make $7.25 an hour to pay their bills. In one month they will make $1,160 if they work 40 hours a week. And thats BEFORE taxes are taken out. You want to talk about surviving? TALK TO YOUR FUCKING FANS. What you make from Patreon in one month is what your subscribers will have to work 6 months for. Most of them will never be able to own a home. Most of them will not be able to afford a brand new car. Most of them will not be able to afford to buy groceries as often as they need. They will not get to go on vacation. They will not be able to afford luxury items at all. They will feel fear every time they miss ONE day of work for being sick because they can not afford to miss that day on their paycheck. So before you use the word survive again TALK TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY STRUGGLING YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO THEIR MONEY BECAUSE THEY LIKE YOUR CONTENT.Â
To be a fan of something doesnât mean to pay for that something. I do not pay every single band I like. I do not pay every single YouTuber I like. I do not pay every single person I follow on Instagram. I do not pay every single person I follow on Twitter. You can be a fan of something and never pay one single penny to that something.Â
Guilting people for not paying you is complete bullshit and you are fucking disgusting.Â
I feel so strongly about this because my family has been poor my whole life. As a child I was told I would start developing ulcers if I didnât stop stressing out about money. I always feared for my mom when it came to bills. When I finally moved out on my own I couldnât afford to pay for groceries, couldnât run my heat in the winter, couldnât use my air conditioner in the summer, ect. I lived in an apartment where they literally had to warn me that before they repainted they had used lead paint in the apartments, the cops made regular visits to arrest my neighbors, and I couldnât go outside at night because it was dangerous. I had to work at McDonalds to pay my bills. Sure as shit didnât want to but as an adult I knew I had to get a job and any job was better than none.Â
Just this year I came across a job that allows me to live comfortably and to build up a savings account. I have to work 64+ hours a week but itâs a job I care about. In this job I have to take care of people who have repeatedly punched me in the face, thrown up on me, shit and pissed on me, screamed at me on a daily basis, ect. Itâs a hard job but I do it. I care about these people even after all of the hard times that come with them. I donât quit and ask everyone else to pay my bills for me so I can go do something I like that wonât pay my bills. No I go to my job and I keep my hobbies for my free time. Because Iâm an adult and I understand how the world works.Â
Nearly 6,000 women responded to a Times call-out about their lives in a private, patriarchal society, expressing their fears, frustrations and ambitions.
âWeâre not allowed to even go to the supermarket without permission or a companion, and thatâs a simple thing on the huge, horrendous list of rules we have to follow.â â DOTOPS, 24
âThe male guardianship makes my life like a hell!! We want to hang out with our friends, go and have lunch outside. I feel hopeless.â â JUJU19, 21
âI donât mind taking my dadâs approval in things he should be a part of. These very strong social bonds you will never, ever understand.â â NOURA
These are three of the nearly 6,000 women from Saudi Arabia who wrote to The New York Times last week about their lives.
We had put a call-out on our website and on Twitter in conjunction with the publication of âLadies First,â a Times documentary I directed about the first Saudi elections in which women were allowed to vote and run for local office.
Saudi Arabia is an incredibly private, patriarchal society. While I was making the film, many women were afraid to share their stories for fear of backlash from the male relatives who oversee all aspects of their lives as so-called guardians. We wanted to hear more about their fears, their frustrations, their ambitions.
Saudi Arabia has one of the worldâs highest rates of Twitter use, and our posts rocketed around. We were overwhelmed by the outpouring.
Most of the responses focused on frustration over guardianship rules that force women to get permission from a male relative â a husband, father, brother or even son â to do things like attend college, travel abroad, marry the partner of their choice or seek medical attention. Some women talked about the pride they had in their culture and expressed great distrust of outsiders. But many of them shared a deep desire for change and echoed Juju19âs hopelessness.
There was an angry backlash under a Twitter hashtag using Arabic for âDonât tell The New York Times.â And there was a backlash to the backlash: â#donât_tell_theNewYork_times that if your father rapes you and you run away, then you will go to prison, and if they let you out, then they will send you back to him.â
A Life Restricted
âI got into an accident once in a taxi, and the ambulance refused to take me to the hospital until my male guardian arrived. I had lost a lot of blood. If he didnât arrive that minute, I wouldâve been dead by now.â â RULAA, 19 - Riyadh
âEvery time I want to travel, I have to tell my teenage son to allow me.â
â SARAH, 42 -Â a doctor in Riyadh
âMy sister went to a bookstore without taking permission from her husband, and when she returned, he beat her up without restraint.â
â AL QAHTANIYA, 28 -Â Riyadh
âThe door of the school where I work is closed from early morning till noon. There is a man guarding the door. Even if a teacher is done with her classes, she cannot leave. Metal gates keep us as prisoners.â â MALAK, 44 -Â Riyadh
âI left the home and sought refuge with a human rights organization in Saudi. I told them about my problems with my father, and they were not able to do anything, and they advised me to go to the police to demand protection from my father. When I went to the police, my father had already informed them that I fled his home. I told the police everything, and they said that I did something wrong/committed a horrible crime in leaving the home of my father, and they placed me in prison!
âThe first three days I spent in solitary, then they transferred me to the general ward. There were women there who committed crimes like killing and stealing.â â TYPICAL SAUDI GIRL, 23 -Â Riyadh
An Emotional Toll
â[My guardian] forbids visits to my female friends or going to shopping malls by myself. It is a complete and total isolation from all the joys in life.â
â MALAK, 28 -Â Abha
âItâs like Iâm in handcuffs, and the society, the law, the people [are] against us. Thatâs why most women choose to marry in their early 20s as a way to escape, and guess what? The man she marries is no different from her brother or father.â â BASHAYR, 19 -Â Al-Hasa
âHe wonât allow me to work, even though I need the money. He also doesnât provide all my needs. I canât recall the last time he cared about what I needed or wanted. He is married to four women and completely preoccupied with them, and he doesnât allow me to travel with my mother. I suffer a lot, even in my social life. He controls it completely and doesnât allow me to have friends over or go to them. He forces me to live according to his beliefs and his religion. I canât show my true self. I live in a lie just so that I wouldnât end up getting killed.â â DINA, 21 -Â Riyadh
âItâs suffocating. Iâd rather kill myself than live with it. I hold on to the smallest hope I have that someday this will change.â â H41, 19 - Riyadh
A Future in Guardiansâ Hands
âIâve had to give up on a number of educational opportunities because he (my guardian) didnât think a doctor needed a cultural exchange program or a symposium he didnât understand. Iâve been trying to have him let me marry the man I love for the past two years.
âIâm in charge of peopleâs lives every day, but I canât have my own life the way I want.â â A. M., 30 -Â a doctor in Jidda
âI had finally gotten a scholarship to get my masterâs abroad. And it was my dream, which I waited and worked hard for, for many years, and I got the necessary grades. But because I would have no man â a so-called guardian â with me, my scholarship and travel were rejected. My guardian also forces me to cover my face, even though it should be a personal and religious freedom.â
â GHADAH, 27 -Â Riyadh
âIâm currently struggling with my father and trying to make him approve that I go to medical school. Itâs my last year of high school, and I have no idea if heâs going to approve that or not. I have no idea what my future holds. My future is in this ignorant/sexist manâs hands, and I canât do anything about it.â
I'm so livid at your post shaming littles for having children but also being little understand there is a time and a place for everything. I feel I relate to our child when I act like one when doing nothing gross. Our child is never into our sex lives never will be Having a family is possible It's also like saying if your so is turned on by something that he'd pounce on everyone related to it. it's called consent respect and love he'd never hurt our child and I'm home so I would know
I am a mother. I was in a heterosexual relationship during my early twenties. The reason why I am so passionately against DDLG is because I know for a fact that my daughterâs father had looked at DDLG material at some point before I left him (he did not share this with me, but I spotted some on his web history). I tried to raise concerns, but my daughter was legally compelled to continue to visit him for unsupervised contact. To what should surprise no one, he molested her when she was four years oldâŠpossibly even before that. The link between DDLG kink and actual pedophilia isnât theoretical for me - itâs the nightmare that I have to go through every day of my life.
So, respectfully? Fuck you.
Fuck you and every other adult out there that fetishises my daughterâs abuse. Fuck every adult that treats my daughterâs horror as a kink or a sex game. Fuck you for knowing that your SO is aroused by the aesthetic, behaviours and helplessness of childhood, but having a child with him anyway.
DDs do not ârespect consentâ. They are aroused by the idea of molesting someone who is incapable of consent. That is the whole basis of the kink. Itâs a pedophilic child abuse fantasy.
Simulated pedophilia is still pedophilia. How is a DD any different to a non-active pedophile? What separates the sexual fantasies of a DD from those of a pedophile? What is the difference????
Your childâs safety is at risk here, and if you canât recognise that and get them out of this then you are not fit to be a mother.
friendly reminder this shark week that
- for every human killed by a shark 25 million sharks are killed by people
- when we swim weâre in THEIR habitat
- they donât even like to eat us weâre too bony, when they do bite us they think weâre seals
- sharks have been around since prehistoric times and now theyâre endangered animals because of us
-the media likes to portray sharks as deadly monsters bc they look scary but really weâre the ones killing them
Okay but I am so sick of looking for support online and finding people who hate me for having kinks? Any DDLG stuff or rape play or anything so I have to sit here and be fucking ashamed of who I am not privately
In hating kink etc, you have no idea how much youâre making survivors like me feel ashamed and dirty.Â
You dont have to feel ashamed and dirty and theres no reason that you should, if antis are straight up saying shit like that then block them cause they have no right to do that
Rape play and ddlg are harmful and im worried for survivors who are most likely re-traumatising themselfs by being a part of the communities/being into the kinks etc.
If you need support you can definitely message me and other antis (not the asshole ones that will make you feel bad). I wont kinkshame you, I dont hate you for having kinks. If you need support/help with dealing with things you can msg me
âanti ddlg, pro certain aspects of bdsm, pro kinksâÂ
????/ So which is it?
And thatâs my problem with these people. They seem to have a saviour complex about survivors into kink, when I can sit here and say, actually, when I sought out sex to relive abuse, it felt different to how kink feels for me now, and I enjoy it.
This is healthy for me. I am happy with it.
Itâs sad because it comes from a good place and a lot of survivors have used kinky sex as self harm AND I AM ONE OF THEM, but kinky sex for me now isnât.Â
Like I hate how survivors canât even be a community cos we all gotta dictate the perfect way to recover and whatâs bad and good let people be.Â
I am against ddlg which is bdsm, bdsm isnt completely a bad thing so im not entirely against it but theres so much harmful parts of it that im also not going to be 100% pro.
Theres a lot to it that I dont agree with.
Ddlg/bdsm arent the only kinks available. Im pro kinks, pro healthy kinks.
Whatever youre happy with, I just wanted to clear things up and give you support if you needed it.
At the end of the day its your choice whatever you decide to do
Also please understand some of us are actually trying to help, you may not use kinky sex as a form of self harm and no one will force you to stop but the people who do get re traumatised need help, not everyone is the same and I understand that, even though i dont agree with it and i wont, its whatever helps you
Many kinks are inherently problematic as they are based on an oppressive culture.
They all have politics. Racism in ârace playâ, sexism in rape play, etc.Â
But. And this is huge.
When it comes to survivor spaces, I refuse to tell anyone they are wrong. I will not come to them and say âItâs okay, you just have to change,â because I know that can be super hard, and that kink may not be unhealthy for them like so many people assume it is.
Offering me âsupportâ is not okay - imagine going up to a gay person and saying, âItâs okay, I know this is harmful for you and I want to helpâ, and I know thatâs extrapolation but I canât put it another way.
You cannot support all survivors and only support some kinks, and say the others need to change. Itâs not okay.Â
If you want to help people, if you find theyâre a survivor into kink, you can say you hope they stay safe. Thatâs it. You donât need to âeducateâ us on how weâre being retraumatized because from someone who used to do that to themselves, I KNEW I WAS.
And like abusive relationships, telling us itâs wrong or we can leave never helps.Â
The reason i wanted to offer you support is because in the original post you mentioned looking for it, i wanted you to know that there is support. If you dont want it thats perfectly fine.
I agree with a lot of what you said here, i will support all survivors even if i dont agree with their coping methods, i dont expect them to change if theres no need for it.
The thing is i want people to be educated on some things so they can make the right decisions, but if thats not your thing or you dont agree with what i say then move along because I dont want to force anything.
There has been people who realised the kink wasnt actually for them, or that they were in the wrong community and so on, and they found what i do helpful
but once again
If thats not you, if youre happy with what youre doing just keep doing it. Im glad youre doing okay
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