Hello!!! I see you're interested in Stranger Things and I just wanted to say that I, too love Mileven. I came here to ask about your thoughts on people saying "Eleven only THINKS she loves Mike because she just seeks for his validation". While I don't believe that's true, I can't find the words myself on how it isn't. I was wondering if you could because you seem to make great points!
Hi there! I truly apologise for how ridiculously long it took me to get to this. Thank you for sending a discussion and especially for your kind words. 😊
Simply put, the genuine true love that we see between these two cannot be manufactured. I see a lot of people arguing that they're just sticking by each other for the sake of it, for the benefits of validation and propriety, but let's think about it. They're only 16 or so in S5, and yet all we've seen is them showing up for each other, remaining devoted to each other against all odds.
Their actions display the lengths they'll go for each other. Yes, people can do crazy things for validation— but there is a limit. Even as early as Season One, El's quietest season, we see the magnitude of her certain love for him. For instance, that moment in the woods where she displays a clear curiosity for his wellbeing, inquiring about the mark on his chin, and softly says "I understand." to reassure him and make him feel comfortable and safe. She clearly holds such tenderness for him through these little displays of care. If she only liked his validation, the focus would be the attention he gives her and she wouldn't be so concerned with his wellbeing, his experiences and with protecting him and caring for him. By the end of the first season, she has torn herself apart from his side and would rather stay away from him than be with him because her need for him to be safe exceeds her need to have him and his attention. In the final season, El isn't swayed to go through with the sacrificial plan until Kali brings up that "they'll kill Mike." Ultimately, it is the threat of Mike's safety that convinces her to abandon something which she wanted so badly— the original plan of fleeing with him. Consistently, we are shown how El is willing to ultimately let go of Mike and what she wants in order to avoid compromising his safety— as any threats to it are the final straw for her and unacceptable. It is unbelievably selfless, and a clear indication of genuine love.
Furthermore, we saw that in S3, El clearly feels a pull towards Mike regardless of validation. I have a great deal of contention with the S3 writing, however I can acknowledge that seeing El break away from Mike, in a way helped show us how irresistible she finds him— because ultimately, she ended up gravitating towards him when in need of comfort during her times of utmost distress, even when she wasn't supposed to since he technically wasn't her boyfriend. This is because he is her safe person. She trusts him the most, wants him first and seeks him out when she's lost in the darkness— such as when she calls for Mike when she's in the void in Season 3. This clearly indicates genuine romantic love, the fact that she instinctively gravitates towards Mike and picks him to be her partner by her side to support her, even when she has other people available to be there for her. Even amongst a vast selection, Mike is the only one she truly wants as her first option.
Since the beginning of the show, we see El feel this gravitational pull towards Mike, this attraction to his energy which she finds safety within. In the S1 bathroom scene, she is guided by their magnetism, and nothing else, to lean towards him for that kiss before Dustin interrupts. Something which is even more solid is her behaviour in Season 2— she listens to his calls even though he can't hear or see her, and when she visits him in the void, she lovingly caresses him despite knowing he can't truly know it's her. This level of tender, romantic behaviour is clearly a strong love— she feels an uncontrollable desire to touch and comfort him even when he can't feel it, because it's just what feels natural, what she wants to do for her own sake too— because she loves him. Another example of her clearly having her own need to feel him is when she affectionately holds the bike handle in Season Two, knowing that his hand was on it. He is not there to see her, to feel her or to give her attention in return. He does not know about it. It is a private moment simply for herself, for her own desires, to satisfy the feelings that she holds for him. That level of longing attests to a clear love.
In Season One, she even goes as far as to directly risk staining his view of her, as long as it keeps him safe. For instance, when she changed the direction of the compasses. She knew that by lying to him, she would do the OPPOSITE of gaining his validation. However, this does not deter her as his safety is her priority above all else, because it's her love for him that precedes anything else.
The argument that El "thinks" she loves him undermines her intelligence and even her identity as a human being— a human being that is just like everyone else at the end of the day. Sure, she comes with her remarkable differences due to her abnormal experiences— but this does not change that she is human and characterised as firm and headstrong, she knows what she feels and what she doesn't. She feels joy, despondence, rage, hate and love just like everyone does.
Look at El's passion in one of her arguments with Hopper in S2, for instance, where she demands "I need to see him!" and has a telekinetic rage moment. A moment such as this carries the weight of unmistakable love; she'll cause such an uproar, all this ruckus, because her body simply cannot contain what she feels for him. This is a girl that knows damn well what she wants and feels, and won't stop at anything to get it. She'll do anything to satisfy this yearning borne of deep love. I've never seen such surer love than theirs in fiction.
(*Another example is S4, we see that El has a whole shrine for Mike filled with his pictures and such. In S3, her bedroom shows drawings of his name and a photo of him on her nightstand. Idk about you guys but I only surround myself with the face of someone that I love...I only invite bold reminders of someone into my personal space if I love that person.)
Honestly, I just can't fathom how after seeing all this, it can be derived that her behaviour comes from delusion and a mere desire for validation. It obviously runs much deeper than that. I mean, would El be doing all this just for the sake of liking it when Mike gives her attention? Just cause she enjoys the way his validation makes her feel about herself? No. All this clearly comes from true care for him, pure love. It wouldn't make sense for a character to behave so intensely out of a need for validation rather than actual love. I could seriously go on with more evidence and thoughts but I think enough has been said, I've made my point and I can rest my case.
This post really did take on a life of its own but I hope it provided the answers you were looking for. Any other questions or comments, please feel free to drop something in my inbox or under this post! <3
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