Kiana Khansmith
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Not today Justin
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EXPECTATIONS
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taylor price
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Andulka
izzy's playlists!
Love Begins
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Cosmic Funnies
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@miniaturecowboys
At some point during their courtship, bond is walking q home or q is walking bond home, and when they part Bond does a navy salute, standing tall and looking serious, and Q is so overcome with the thought of 'hes so cute' that he bows without thinking.
Domming a guy i hate and convincing him good puppies like to be named Hubert then getting his name legally changed to Hubert then ghosting him
people will claim to be filled with whimsy and joy for life but then hate musicals……. the vile tongue of man will never cease lying
*flirting* i would be so easy to condition into a sex toy
*flirting* i would be
so easy to condition
into a sex toy
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I used to really like the ✨ emoji but now she's best friends with AI and I feel like I can't trust her anymore
NO do NOT let them win. We can save her. We can wrest her association back from AI. She doesn't deserve this and we can't abandon her.
you will not see any actual improvement to the rate of disordered eating in the general population until you address fatphobia and improve social and material conditions for fat people and especially fat women enough that fatness isn't a looming spectre but unfortunately the lives of young women are considered a largely acceptable cost to not have to do this
Ryland Grace 🤝 James Bond
Thematically appropiate genital injuries
Bond should get into something rly ridiculous. Like Minecraft. but like those ppl who build mega-builds in Minecraft.
no particular reason I just think it would be funny.
Q comes home and is like prepared for Yet Another Home Project. he is NOT prepared for dinner left to keep warm in the oven house mostly dark. ??? he goes to his office setup which I presume has a fancy PC. Which he has set up a profile for Bond to use. The light is off- there is just the light of the monitor illuminating everything.
Q pokes his head in like "...hello?"
only to hear Bond flaming some teenager in a Minecraft competitive server. (okay I lied yes I realized at the end it would be lowkey funnier if Bond were beefing with a child in some kind of all-ages competitive server. I do NOT know how Minecraft actually works idk if this is realistic. possibly not cuz servers don't work like League or Valorent or whatever where you get sorted with people, right? I don't fckn know how it happened- maybe the child is the child of some Six employee and that's why they and Bond are in the same server. Anyway. he ALSO was working on some kind of megabuild in Survival mode. that it something he proudly shows Q after he finishes beefing with this child and does the "hang on oh I gotta go my mom's calling me" equivalent sign-off, and Q flicks on the light like ??? and yes Bond was too busy Gamin' so he never stopped to get up and turn on the light after the sun set, lol)
#bond bedwars marathon #I can see him getting sooooo obsessed #like techno levels in all accounts #or omg omg the old school hunger games maps #he would KILL (literally) on those #and it’d be such like enchriment activity he gets to like be stealth and kill ppl but it’s a game! #I mean it’d be even funnier if he was actually kinda shit at mc pvp but by GOD he is trying hard #I do think he’d actually be great at it tho #fast reflex’s for the fucking win #pfft him ending up teamed w some streamer or another #and becoming like a boogyman elite player that occasionally shows up in lobbies and chat loooses their shit #honestly not sure what he’d build #like I can see him having so much fun resource gathering and like grinding materials #but for some reason I can’t picture what he’d build #replicas of places he’s visited??? settings and castles from whatever Qs been into? #really loving the picture of him absolutely terrorizing teens in bedwars lobbies #ik he wouldn’t stream/post but im dying at the concept of him in a Minecraft Monday #like being cryptic and mysterious and ooooh I’m so deadlyyy but that’s lowkey just like. a Kind of pov Minecrafter so no one like. notices #*PVP #someone in chat asks him abt the potato wars and he goes on some long rant abt psychological warfare and the kind of resilience needed towin #wow okay sorry 2020 me took the wheel for a second (via @definesupposedtobe)
!!!! Bed wars!!!!! I only know of bed wars by association so i.e. I don't actually really know anything about bed wars, really, but I have seen it on screens lol, and I have seen players of it. but you said bed wars and I instantly felt YES!! he WOULD!!!!
none of the rest of what you said means anything to me bles <3 but I believe you. I DO agree that it would be funny if it turns out he's dogshit at mc pvp lmao, BUT I feel like he'd be more "absolute crap at FPS's" kind of guy. also he wouldn't want to play any of the CODs or anything like that. like, he can just do that at work. why is he doing that worse in a video game.
but no I DO think he could get rly into minecraft and also bed wars lol and also the idea of him being an urban legend in the bedwars community is very funny and also, the idea of him beefing with a literal child in a video game is very funny. to ME. personally, if no one else <3
as for what he'd build tbh I was picturing fantasy builds. or like. orig work builds? Not fantasy as in those like aesthetic ASMR longbuild vids. but like, this guy:
also pour one out to the poor mooshrooms (is that what those dudes are called) whose home this guy colonized and eradicated essentially to build a "resin factory" lmao
This IS the kind of casually cutthroat shit I lowkey can see Bond doing tho lol. (couldn't be me!!!!! I'd be like noooOOOoooOOOoo.... how could you do this to those poor mushroom cows..... like I don't even strip-mine, the times I've played, lmao. tho maybe I haven't played long enough. maybe if I played long enough I'd do complex tear-down & terraforming plans like this.. I play on a laptop tho lol and minecraft makes its fans go hrrrrrrrrr)
actually now that I think of it. It would be kinda funny for Bond to build a giant statue of himself in Minecraft. Is it in character for him to? I dunno. I don't really see him doing it just cuz, like as an ego thing... tho if Q did have some kind of scanning thing and Bond felt like playing with it, he might do it. as like a fun challenge. Maybe he DOES teach himself Blender one day, lol. out of boredom. and at first Bond was having fun scanning random things and playing with them in Blender, but then like ofc you run out of things to scan or whatever and also it starts getting samesy after a while. idk I'm reverse-engineering the backstory here now lol, I DO think it would be funny for Q to be like. *almost not sure if he should ask* so...what have you been up to recently... and Bond is showing off his Minecraft world and there's just like. a minecraft version of himself looming in the back. very whatcha got there / a smoothie-coded.
anyway back to the matter on hand. yes. bed wars. *subway takes guy voice* hard agree. and also yes he SHOULD terrorize teenagers in bedwars lobbies and be very proud of himself for it (Q is shaking his head off to the side to show he disagrees). and also yes to the minecraft monday thing whatever that is and, and also, somehow, an infamous pvp'er urban legend somehow I DON'T KNOW MAN maybe we live in a world where this kind of guy exists just like how in mystery stories "world-famous detective" is a genre of guy that exists and is a real celebrity (honestly, this should be us for real. we need sherlock holmes benoit blanc uhhh a third example uhh poirot?? in real life..)
Oh I’m COMPLETELY understanding the builder vision now. (Gunna have fun watching that guy actually thx for the rec!) i bet he’d also get super into the like extra efficient extreme farms and stuff. He learns redstone and Q is just sooo confused like how did he do that. I feel like the Bond-statue would 100% be that ‘hm I’m bored with everything else I’ve been building…. What abt just building me??’ and Q would be uh hesitant to really bring it up
I also love the idea of Bond learning blender. For some reason I’m picturing Q being really obsessed with like correcting 3D gun models ppl post online (a la warhammer military leaks) and Bond being like ‘….what are you so worked up about??’ But then instead of joining Q in his crusade Bond just gets really into blender and like. Making random objects or Qs cats or smth.
Also the thing with like urban legend super good mc PVPer is that mcyt creators and streamers are sorta just… like that?? Like so many ppl go sooo hard on the ‘I’m the best to ever do it’ vibes. They try so hard to make themselves that ‘elite world famous’ vibe. So like Bond would unintentionally fit right in vibes wise. Like to be so for real I’d bet money a lot of mcyt pvp ppl fantasize about being Bond-esque spies. Which is hilarious to me personally And it adds this fun layer of Bond in bedwars just being himself but folks like assuming it’s that ‘I’m sooo badass and cool trust trust’ attitude streamers put on.
The real question is would he even be aware of the online communities and like the Impact he’s having on streams n shit. Like does one of Qs online friends go on some crazy rant (cause I CANNOT picture Q watching mcyt shit I just can’t) and Q being like…. Wait… that username is familiar…
The big thing I am learning this week is if I ever think "hm, is this too much?" the answer is no, lol, and I should just say it. cuz I was thinking the redstone thing too, and also the he models Q's cats things :3 Probably he builds a statue of them too next to him LOL. perplexing Q even further. And yes cats are infinitely liquid and thus infinitely model-able, but even then one runs out of cat iterations after a while to hold one's interest etc ^^
The idea of Q being a War Thunder-ass 3D model guy is funny to me and I like that a lot. YES Q is like aha! yes someone else who will share my vision!! but no. Bond has modeled (1) mushroom he foraged (2) Q's cats (3) a funny shaped pear he got from the shops (4) something that looks suspiciously like Q's bedhead (5) Q's cats (again, yes)--
#like Bonds the bedwars steamer equivalent of the Dr. pepper guy #expect instead of Dr. pepper he beats thier asses #damn kinda wanna write a fic from the pov of a streamer now #or like chat logs and shit of ppl trying to figure out who he is #like sooo many conspiracies of is it an alt account for this person or another #like the Katy Perry Wikipedia thing #fuck I’m so online SOS #the real real question is would bond ever like get a mic and stream #or make a twitch account at start terrorizing ppl #or just like a discord call #or again! if we’re committing to old school shit! somehow getting an invite to Minecraft Monday and like not streaming but borrowing one of #Qs mics to chat w his teammate and like everyone looses thier shit #for context Minecraft Monday was (is?? I really don’t think it’s happening anymore) an event like every Monday #where various creators would be in teams of two and complete through various multiplayer games and one team would win #so like bedwars the hunger game PvP maps uhhhhhh #there might’ve been a build challenge in there? cant remember now #but like PvP stuff that find the button game the thing with the snow balls #I mean there’s also mcc but for some reason the thought of Bond interacting with anyone who runs that just blue screens me #so yeah like quarantine era mcyt vs bored as shit James Bond #fuckkkkk I haven’t written anything non academic in so long why is this what’s temping me #oh and he would 100% suck a FPS #although I kinda like the idea of Bond stumbling upon CoD fanfic in some random military fiction deep dive he does
would Bond stream/get a mic and headset and etc? I dunno. torn on this. On one hand I love the idea of him beefing with children, Doofenshmirtz style. from a purely comedy perspective. on the other hand. this seems like a big opsec flaw/hole and that feels like a No. perhaps he has like a v-tuber-ass voice changer set-up or sth and uses a diff accent. He does not his usual accent, but a DIFFERENT British accent. probs feels very big brained abt this. it probs makes a difference to the British ppl. but alas to your average American and esp an American teenager. it's all "bo'-o o' wo'-r"-ass accent to them.
idk maybe he gets famous for being a guy who does not speak. only types. a silent killer. no clue if that works lol. if he doesn't HAVE to be a streamer then I can see him being invited to a thing or other. and he's like *checks imaginary calendar* yea I'm free on Monday why not. there are only so many more ways I can model the cats. LOL
I think Bond maybe has some idea that he's gaining a reputation by the way ppl react when they see him/his username? But I think he probs doesn't know the extent of it. He doesn't know there are minecraft youtubers out there who have done deep-dive videos on him. with what little information there is. and yes I do like the idea of someone going on a rant abt him to Q and Q just kinda nodding along before its like. ...hm. wait.....
also you should totally write the fic. 👀👀 you should totally do it
(and also yes the idea of Bond stumbling on CoD fanfic is Very Funny to me, too. I like that a lot)
People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person
Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs
you know the ye olde text post of like,. *does the makeover on the lady cop but instead of wow shes a perfect girl it's "ugh, no. this is never gonna work, you look way to stiff and awkward. Brutus, you go in as the undercover prostitute" and like a buff guy takes off his sunglasses like, my time has come....* <- this but James Bond. porque no James Bond as the undercover prostitute? 🤨? He would make suuuch a good undercover prostitute.
we need 2 give Q Make-Him-Weirder-TM more fun vocal tics. Like he should just absently hum like a phone-vibrating-sound.
ill do a whole lot more than just bite the bullet ill fuck the gun too
okay speaking of "make them More Embarrassing TM" and "very 'whats stopping me. now that I have adult money'-coded", c/o this post
made the brainwoims think of, like. Q being a lego guy. cuz lego r suuper fckn expensive. so you kinda have to have adult moneys to do that. But also he is Always Fckn Busy guy... no slash very little time to BUILD his Lego sets....
so imagine he has half-finished Lego sets... maybe not littered around his home per se - he has cats after all - so maybe he has a specific. Lego room or sth. Lego. section.. of a room. that is cordoned off from Cat
and imagine (or Iiiim imagining). Bond breaking into his house, lol. and building his Lego sets.
Q's pissed off cuz HE WAS WORKING ON THAT. HIMSELF. okay yes it's been in the same/similar state for three months (how long have you been breaking into my house??) but he was GOING to GET to it, this very next weekend, in fact!! ...what do you mean he said that last week, four weeks ago, and two months ago. He MEANT it!! every time!!!! and he still means it!!!! 😡😤😩😠
....I have somehow reinvented something akin to this from first principles. it seems. (informercial voice) this time Lego flavored ! and also Q more p'd o. lol
💬 3 🔁 36 ❤️ 78 · was not joking abt lives rent free also yes the one 🐱 by the door is 100% tattling
I don't quite know how to shape this concept into words, but I think Bond would really like it if Q did the 'he said NO PICKLES' thing for him.
Like. Can Bond advocate for himself? Of course. Effortlessly and effectively!
But sometimes it's very nice not to have to do that, you know? Sometimes it's nice to be taken care of, or protected, or supported when someone else doesn't do right by you!
Bond doesn't even have any objection to pickles. If they serve him his sandwich with pickles, he can comfortably eat it anyway, or tell them to remake it without pickles. That part isn't the problem.
But it's just nice that Q is willing to step in and say, "Excuse me, but he said NO pickles!" on Bond's behalf. It's nice! Bond has not had anyone to do that for him since he was a small child! I think he would enjoy it very much!
#i agreeee#q wants bond to identify personal preferences and learn personal boundaries!!!#maybe Bond is experimenting by asking for no pickles lol (low stakes cuz he is fine w pickles)#and uh. well. pickles#but he WOULD love for Q to he asked for no pickles him#it's like. he wants to be treasured he wants to be kept he wants to be beloved pet'ed#hes the grizzled like uhhh war dog who wants to be beloved purse dog#everyone sees him and sees him as the guy who should defend. the guy who is cherisher. but maybe he wants to be cherished too!!#doesnt he deserve love? and --jewelry-- fun gadgets from Q? ...actually you know what- yes jewelry. from Q#anyway. yes. this man wants to be kept soooo bad#he's the colony cat turned friendly who wants to go inside sooo bad. but ppl keep only feeding him outside and closing their door to him (@halfbaked00q)
OK, this is taking me in a slightly different direction, but: I do think it's extremely funny if Skyfall!Q goes into this whole Thing With Bond with absolutely zero intention of trying to 'keep' or 'rehabilitate' Bond.
Q is looking at this PURELY from the perspective of someone who has cared for and supervised many feral colonies. And he is looking at Bond, and he can see That Is A Whole-Ass Adult Feral.
Which is fine! But that means we need to manage our expectations, yes? We are not getting that one socialized. We are not getting him indoors permanently. We just need to give him some cans of high-nutrient wet food (with a deworming pill sneaked inside!) and keep feeding him until he no longer TOTALLY panics, hisses, or unsheathes claws whenever we get within 10 feet of him.
And then we gotta drop-trap him and take him off the be spayed/neutered, and while we've got him knocked unconscious for that procedure, we'll see if he has any rotten teeth that need to be pulled or other health issues that can be quickly fixed on the spot.
And then we'll keep an eye on him during the initial recovery. Maybe see if we can give him a flea bath or pick the ticks off of him. And then, once he's well enough that he's no longer at risk of clawing open his incisions, we'll put him back where we found him, and hope for the best.
And, it's...y'know. He's not gonna live a super long and optimally healthy life. We know that. Sooner or later he'll probably get hit by a car or eaten by a predator or something.
But. At least we did what we could to keep him fed and out of pain, and prevent him from catching/spreading disease! And that'll have to be enough. Because he's a feral, and he doesn't want to live indoors or hang out with humans. So we did what we could to give him a good chance at surviving on his own for as long as possible!
And Q initially feels satisfied with this, and at ease with the help he's providing 007.
Except. It quickly turns into a situation where Q drop-traps Bond to provide urgent help/food/etc. and then releases him, thinking that'll be that and Bond will scamper off and disappear for the next few weeks.
But the next morning, he checks his metaphorical cat-trap and...Bond is back in there. Waiting.
He would like to be taken back to that room where he gets food and warm blankets and scritches!! That part was good. He'll have another go, please. ☺️
Q absolutely was not PLANNING to turn this military working dog into a purse dog. He wasn't PLANNING to make this raggedy hissy bitey feral into a lapcat.
But. It might not...be up to him. 🧍
@miri-tiazan
This is increasingly funny to me because...okay, I'm sure M had The Talk with Q once she promoted him. I'm sure she told him that Bond pushes boundaries, Bond never stays put, Bond refuses to follow orders, Bond knows how to manipulate people, people tend to get attached to Bond and do anything he asks, and it turns out poorly for everyone involved, including Bond, so Q needs to watch himself, etc.
And Q was very confident that he could handle it! He knows the difference between a friendly and a feral, thanks. He's not going to flatter himself that he'll become Bond's Special Favorite Person. No, he knows how ferals work.
He'll do what he can to keep Bond healthy, well-fed, and alive. He will regard Bond with a certain measure of exasperated fondness (particularly when Bond does the equivalent of getting into a fight with a racoon behind a trash bin and loses a chunk of his ear in the process) and Bond will regard him with something in between outright hostility and grudging trust. And they'll get on just fine!
Q won't get attached. He's worked with animals (particularly ferals and rescues) for a long, long time. He's lost his fair share. He knows how to guard his heart.
And so, the first time it's necessary for Q to 'trap' Bond and take him home, it goes smoothly!
Q gets Bond wrangled into his spare bedroom. He does the equivalent of giving Bond a flea bath, a dewormer, an antibiotic shot, an updated rabies vaccine, a top-up of fluids and electrolytes, and a tin of extra-nice wet food. He checks to make sure Bond's microchip is still working. He lets Bond sleep in whatever corner he chooses, and he doesn't bother Bond overnight.
And in the morning, he plops Bond back on the streets where he belongs, and Bond saunters off, and Q pats himself on the back for a flawlessly executed trap-and-release! He's reasonably hopeful that Bond will allow Q to provide a similar level of assistance the next time Bond gets himself into a crisis. Perhaps they can even establish enough trust that Bond won't wriggle and scratch the next time Q needs to give him a new vaccine!
And then Q comes home the following night, and James H. Bond has broken in and camped out on his couch. He is bundled underneath Q's favorite afghan. He's happily tearing into a bowl of Q's favorite snacks. He found a puzzle in Q's collection of board games, and he's gotten started on it.
He likes it here. ☺️ This indoor-thing is pretty good. ☺️ He's just gonna stay here now. ☺️
Q: 🧍
#looooove love love love #Bond is one of those cats that are very dexterous and smart and can open cabinets #and he is metaphorically opening Q's cabinets and rummaging around <3 with his little bastard paws <3 (my own tags)
also, other thing that lives rent-free in my mind, brain version of a vocal stim etc, rotates in the brainly michael wave:
And then Q comes home the following night, and James H. Bond has broken in and camped out on his couch. He is bundled underneath Q's favorite afghan. He's happily tearing into a bowl of Q's favorite snacks. He found a puzzle in Q's collection of board games, and he's gotten started on it. He likes it here. ☺️ This indoor-thing is pretty good. ☺️ He's just gonna stay here now. ☺️
was not joking abt lives rent free
also yes the one 🐱 by the door is 100% tattling
Bond gets ill or injured amd Q has to look after him (possibly he is 'missing' while he gets some heat off his back and Q is the only one at MI6 with high enough clearing and who hasn't point blank refused to have bond anywhere near their home while bored). At first Bond is restless, upset, his ego is brused, and there is many other issues that he is happy to complain extensively about. However, as Q gets into the swing of looking after him Bond calms down and realises that things really aren't that bad. Q is also pleasantly suprised by the situation because for all it is awkward to have a coworker in his flat at all times and bond would not be his first choice of companion, it is nice, really, to have someone to look after. For example he has to get home earlier and he is far more likely to remeber to sleep himself if he has to enforce a bedtime upon a man a decade plus older than. Regarless of their feelings on the matter, unfortunately all good things come to an end, and Bond recovers, and is sent out on a mission and goes back to his empty sad flat. It is not long, then, until bond crashes the fuck out. He does something dramatic, possibly while on a mission. He puts himslef or others in harms way, acts ruthlessely, and clearly something is wrong, but who on earth would know why?
Obviously he misses Q looking after him. He knows what heaven is (being made chicken soup and sent off to bed with a hot water bottle) and want it back!
(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you
the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user
Q loves afternoon tea. Obivousky he like the tea part, but he is also a sucker for tiny sandwiches and cake and scones and fruit all served on a fancy little cake stand. However, he feels very silly, and he is very aware of how he looks as a grown man eating tiny foods. So he only orders them when he is alone and not near work/home where he could bump into someone he knows.
