emma!

the whistling theme from kill bill

[leechtime-deactivated20190510]

Anime Girl: *breathes* Her Tiddies:

[adz]

my cat does this before he pukes

[toebeens]

that comment just absolutely took me out

[just-shower-thoughts]

Congratulations to drugs for always winning the war on drugs

[danger]

When you’ve had enough

[bayerisch-irish]

[snuh]

[mtvmakesmewannasmokecrack]

life was simpler when we were kids and thought the name bob was the funniest possible thing in the world

[swordoftheberserkgutsrage]

me when I fucking drink water

[compoyo-deactivated20200529]

I hate being high why I keep hearing footsteps 😑

[with-practice]

Are you walking?

[compoyo-deactivated20200529]

Oh shit

[truckhole-deactivated20181203]

*someone posts a picture*

*someone else reblogs it and adds the same picture*

me: *sweating, frantically searching the second picture for lucky luciano,*

[mithraxx]

watching history repeat itself as the united states and countries across the world descend into fascism in an all too familiar pattern of events

[minionthot420]

Why is being a ballerina so suspenseful?

It keeps you on your toes

[sharlatan-ka]

[distinguishedbaloney]

[caden]

We were funnier in 2010 than we are now

[naturallycurlycoco]

Smh

[ilovepeppers-deactivated2019122]

[anancientheart]

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

[anancientheart]

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

[phoebusbridgers]

[ifitaintbaroque]

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

[ifitaintbaroque]

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

[ifitaintbaroque]

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

[ifitaintbaroque]

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

[goatbran-deactivated20190407]

please give us updates

[ifitaintbaroque]

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying. 

[ifitaintbaroque]

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

[antique-scarecrow]

op will not die of natural causes

[pivooooot]

Don’t break the circle.