Who Wants to Shitpost with Elias?

[ministryofshitposting]

Vince: I just couldn't find my keys.

The Undertaker: Well, my brother may have eaten them.

[ministryofshitposting]

Kyle: Dude, I’d do anything for you!

Bobby: Aw, thanks, Dude-

Kyle: I’d eat trash.

Bobby: well don’t do tha-

Kyle: I ate trash.

Bobby: …see, that doesn’t really help me-

[ministryofshitposting]

Roman: Would you rather fight a bunch of kindergarteners–

Dean: I wanna fight kindergarteners

Roman: That’s not even the whole–

Dean: Those kids are gettin’ SLAPPED

[kyleoreally]

paige: this is gonna be fine, this is gonna be fine

narrator voice: it wasn’t going to be fine 

[ministryofshitposting]

Carmella: Hi, Carmella, the human form of the 100 Emoji.

[ministryofshitposting]

Samoa Joe: When I die, I want you to cremate me and throw my ashes in AJ Styles's face.

[ministryofshitposting]

EC3: Is this why we had to wait for you to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond?

Velveteen: Yes, bitch.

[ministryofshitposting]

Dean: I saw you hangin’ out with Seth the other day.

Roman: Dean, it’s not what you think!

Dean: I won’t hesitate BITCH!

[ministryofshitposting]

AJ: Is there anything else you want to say to people watching tonight?

Samoa Joe: My favorite color is blood.

AJ: ...Alright.

[ministryofshitposting]

Randy: Sometimes when I rant about Jeff I forget to breathe and I pass out.

[ministryofshitposting]

Dean: The only thing I'm guilty of is loving WWE. And punching Seth in the face. And shoving a coffee filter down his pants.

[ministryofshitposting]

The Undertaker: My brother, Kane, likes to check in every so often and make sure I'm doing okay, and if I am, he tries to fuck everything up.

[ministryofshitposting]

Bo: We are not men who get a lot of opportunities, and the ones we've had we've squandered.

Curtis: We've squandered them all.

[ministryofshitposting]

AJ: I got the good lord goin' down on me!

[ministryofshitposting]

Renee: Hey, I love you.

Dean: Dude, shut up! That is awesomesauce!

[ministryofshitposting]

The Miz: I'm no sociopath. I always know what I'm doing is wrong.

[ministryofshitposting]

Seth: When Dean and I used to go the movies, he would always try to guess the ending of the movie. And he would always guess that the main character had been dead the whole time. Even when we saw Ratatouille.