the small writing sideblog of @zanarkandfayth. primarily fic rambles and snippets. call me fayth. forty, he/him. I write for final fantasy xv. I like to hurt noctis (the blorbo) and I love all the things ignoct, whether that's platonic, romantic, or something undefined.
♫ hi! welcome to fayth's sideblog. this is primarily a writing sideblog for me to talk about my own fics and share snippets of what I'm writing, etc. I may also reblog writing-related posts from time to time. my main blog can be found at @zanarkandfayth. tag & fic masterlist for this blog can be found here.
♫ my primary fandom has been final fantasy xv since february 2017, and all I write for at the moment. I most often write hurt/comfort, angst, and whump fics. many of my fics deal with trauma and/or mental health issues. my blorbo who I torture with such things is noctis and I also love all things noctis and ignis whether platonic, romantic, or something undefined. gladnis and highspecs are my notps. my ao3 can be found at zanarkand and my ffxv fics under the pseud fayth, and will be the sole place to find my fics these days. ship and let ship and I don't take requests.
♫ I'm forty, I'm a demiro demiguy, and my pronouns are strictly he/him. I've been in fandom since late 1999 and the fanfiction aspect since april 2000. when I'm not writing I can often be found gaming. I'm disabled and not good at responding to things in a timely manner. sometimes I disappear for awhile.
I've done the math. with the number of scenes I have left to write for lostfic, if each one was at least 5K, this fic would be 195K. and since it's me... I guess the only question is how much over 200K this fic is gonna end up at lmao. it's definitely possible I'll have a scene or two that's less than 5K... but it's almost certain that I'll have other scenes over 5K to make up for that.
god what happened, how did this fic end up this long, how have I written like 150K in three months hjlkdjklhfk
Something so funny about rereading one's own unfinished fics. Like wow this is pretty good! Almost as if was written exactly according to what I personally like in fact! Someone should finish it!
Tips for writing those gala scenes, from someone who goes to them occasionally:
Generally you unbutton and re-button a suit coat when you sit down and stand up.
You’re supposed to hold wine or champagne glasses by the stem to avoid warming up the liquid inside. A character out of their depth might hold the glass around the sides instead.
When rich/important people forget your name and they’re drunk, they usually just tell you that they don’t remember or completely skip over any opportunity to use your name so they don’t look silly.
A good way to indicate you don’t want to shake someone’s hand at an event is to hold a drink in your right hand (and if you’re a woman, a purse in the other so you definitely can’t shift the glass to another hand and then shake)
Americans who still kiss cheeks as a welcome generally don’t press lips to cheeks, it’s more of a touch of cheek to cheek or even a hover (these days, mostly to avoid smudging a woman’s makeup)
The distinctions between dress codes (black tie, cocktail, etc) are very intricate but obvious to those who know how to look. If you wear a short skirt to a black tie event for example, people would clock that instantly even if the dress itself was very formal. Same thing goes for certain articles of men’s clothing.
Open bars / cash bars at events usually carry limited options. They’re meant to serve lots of people very quickly, so nobody is getting a cosmo or a Manhattan etc.
Members of the press generally aren’t allowed to freely circulate at nicer galas/events without a very good reason. When they do, they need to identify themselves before talking with someone.
As someone who spent over a decade catering luxury events, let me add some back of house info:
These events are almost always open bar. They're not trying to make their money back on alcohol. They want you to drink and eat and donate generously.
If there are cocktails, there will be at most two on offer, pre-made in large tubs. You cannot order a different version, it is what it is.
There are two types of events: cocktail style or seated. The first includes roaming hors d'oeuvres or a fancy buffet with tiny plates called a grazing station. For a long night, the roaming food will get a little bigger throughout the evening and have a 'main' at some point based around a protein.
A seated event will usually be more structured and may include multiple courses. Silver service is not in vogue anymore. You are likely to get either alternating meals brought to you like at a wedding, or served banquet style. A good caterer can get a plate to everyone in a 300 person event in about three minutes.
Drunk people are the same no matter how expensive their suits. They still laugh too loud, spill their drinks and slip on the dance floor. They are usually less embarrassed about doing coke in the bathrooms.
A full scale event that starts at 6pm will have staff arriving at noon to begin setup. Earlier if there's a light show or pyrotechnics. Typically venues don't just have 30 tables and three hundred chairs lying around, let alone table cloths, chair covers, etc. It's all rented and brought in on the day. Bands and DJs will be running audio tests in the background throughout.
Most heritage buildings that host these things, like museums and manor houses, aren't really designed for them. They might put down mats so you're not walking in stilettos over two hundred year old wooden floors, the kitchens are weirdly far away, and there are not enough taps. There is never anywhere for staff to sit, so if you open the wrong door you might find half a dozen waiters sitting on upturned milk crates in a room full of million dollar paintings, eating the left over bread.
Really old buildings don't have enough bathrooms, which means the staff will be sharing with the guests.
Clean up starts the second the event ends, if not sooner. Unattended glasses will start to disappear first, then table decorations. When the timer ticks over, the lights come back on and exhausted staff strip the tables, pack up dirty glasses and unopened wine bottles and have to Tetris it all into the back of a van. The venue is booked for that day only, so everything has to be gone before anyone can go home. A large event that finishes at midnight might take until 3am to be cleared away.
These are very long and physically demanding nights for anyone working them. The staff all get to know each other, and will absolutely notice someone trying to sneak in wearing a borrowed uniform. They are not being paid enough to care.
i DO believe that a good writer can make mischaracterization work. oh there's a character who doesn't normally cry? figure it out!! disect the character. make the situation cryable for them. make that character cry ugly tears even if it goes against their very nature. YOU CAN MAKE IT WORK!!!
A great piece of advice I've seen is "Don't fixate about what the character would never do. Think about the circumstances that would drive them to do this, even if they wouldn't normally."
the frustration of wanting to write but you've been flaring up for days and you just don't fucking feel well enough to. I thought I'd be further along in this fic by now, rip.
“They felt sick.” — Vague.
“They threw up.” — Sometimes, but not always.
Illness isn’t a switch you flip. Fever and nausea creep, spike, ebb, lie to you, then come back worse. They live in the body first, and that’s where your writing should live too.
Below, I've written a lil' cheat sheet for you. Reblog so you can come back later.
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF FEVER & NAUSEA
Skin & Temperature
Skin alternates between clammy and burning
Deep internal warmth
Sudden chills while sweating
Clothes feel wrong, either too heavy, too tight, too warm, not warm enough, etc.
Goosebumps even in a warm room
Face flushed, ears hot, neck damp
Head & Senses
Head feels pressurized or stuffed with cotton
Eyes ache when moving
Nose stuffed (on either one side, or both)
Ears ringing or deaf on one side
Lights are too bright/sharp
Sounds blur together
Food smells gross
Room feels tilted or surreal
Focus slips mid-thought
Food/water has an aftertaste
Stomach & Core
Nausea that comes in waves
Swallowing feels deliberate, effortful
Dry swallowing, dry throat—dry everything
Saliva thickens or pools suddenly
Abdomen tightens
Hunger exists but is nauseating at the same time
Body curls inward without thinking
Mouth & Throat
Tongue feels coated
Taste turns metallic, bitter, or flat
Lips dry; licking them doesn’t help
Gag reflex hair-trigger sensitive
Breathing through the mouth makes it worse
Movement & Posture
Barely any movement
Sitting becomes slouching, then curling
Standing too fast triggers instant nausea/dizziness
Hands brace on thighs, counters, walls
Feet shuffle; balance checked constantly
Body seeks cold surfaces or firm pressure
Voice & Speech
Voice dulls or drops in volume (due to plugged nose and raspy throat)
Words come slower
Sentences trail off unfinished
Irritation spikes easily (even if people are being nice)
Delayed responses
Apologies come out automatically (“Sorry. Sorry.”)
NOT ALL “SICK” FEELS THE SAME
Fever (infection-based):
Comes with chills + heat
Mental fog, slowed reaction time
Body aches feel deep, joint-based
Thirst increases, appetite drops
Sleep is restless, sweaty, unrefreshing
Colds / Flu:
More head pressure, sinus heaviness
Heavy cough, sore throat
Heavy fatigue
Fever may be mild or absent (especially colds)
Chronic Illness Flares:
Pain is familiar but still intense
Less panic, more resigned
Symptoms stack (fatigue + nausea + pain)
Character may ration movement and speech
Recovery expectations are lower
Menstrual Cramps:
Pain pulses rhythmically
Heat helps
Nausea tied to motion and smell
Sensitive emotions (more prone to snapping, saying things they regret)
Body feels heavy
Stress-Induced Nausea:
No fever, no chills
Jaw tension, shallow breathing
Nausea spikes during stillness
Relief when distracted or moving
These differences matter. They change how a character reacts, not just how they feel.
So yeah, hope that helps. You don't need vomiting on the page every time. Sometimes being sick is feeling off-key, or sometimes it's quiet recovery. It varies. The symptoms are one part of your story, the rest is up to characterization and plot. Why is illness relevant to your story? Why is this character sick, and how is it different from another character? You can have a lot of fun with this.
Written by a human with a headache and too much experience lying very still, hoping it passes. If you liked this post, buy me a coffee... or cough medicine. 😔
