Okay but, hear me out: Harry Potter- but with Gina Linetti’s personality
Hagrid: Yer a wizard Harry.
Harry: I knew it. No one could be as perfect as me without a little magic happening.
Rita: Mr. Potter, how did you feel when you realised you were famous?
Harry, swirling a wine glass full of butterbeer in one hand: Well Ms. Skeeter, I always knew all men were at least 30% attracted to me, so it honestly wasn’t that much of a stretch to find out I underestimated my own popularity.
Harry: The downside of being such a humble human being
Harry: -so yeah I can speak to snakes.
Hermione: Why didn’t you tell us, Harry?
Ron: Mate you can trust us.
Draco: Yeah Potter, would’ve been nice to know beforehand.
Harry, shrugs and examines his nails: The only reason I didn’t tell you is I don’t value you as people, so why be honest?
Harry: Wait, you only became friends with me because I’m famous and your dad told you to? Not cool Draco, I thought this was a genuine friendship.
Draco: You said you were only going to hang out with me because you wanted to see if it was my hair or my personality that was the reason I have no real friends.
Harry: Yeah but that was before I knew I could get up on this high horse. I’m loving the view up here. *makes clip-clop noises and pretends to gallop away*
Harry: Bitch, I’m Harry Potter, I do what I want.
Fudge: Harry, as you predicted, there was some backlash to the Dementor initiative.
Harry: Yes. I’m the Nostradamus of your shame.
Ron: So Harry what house do you think you’ll be in?
Harry: Well Ron, I think I would make the perfect Slytherin based on my skill set, dance ability, and bloodlust.
Harry: Also, I look great in green.
Harry: How is it possible that a spirit such as yourself even knows Snape?
Lucius: I’d like to call it karma for having such great hair.
Hermione: Harry! You quit occlumancy lessons with Snape already?
Hermione: What happened? I thought you were going to ‘last forever bitches.’
Harry: Turns out I gave up easy.
Harry, looks up to the sky: You hear that bitches? I gave up so easy.
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