A Slasher AdDiCtIoN @mirkysconcubine - Tumblr Blog

Jan 14, 2022

Sweet spot

Summary: Fed up with being the only one who can’t relate to the seemingly mind-blowing sexscapades everyone seems to experience, your superior and great friend Captain Steve Rogers offers to help you with your problem. You should have never agreed to it.

Word count: 11.1k

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Warnings: language, pining, smut, loss of virginity, oral (f receiving), underage drinking (reader is 20), age gap, seriously bad self-doubt, douchy people named Jake, friends-to-lovers

A/N: this one-shot i wrote a good while ago is the first thing i’m publishing on tumblr. any and all criticism is welcome and i’ll be glad if this reaches out to just one person. enjoy!

It didn't even bother you until you were left alone in the bar, 2:13 am on a Friday night. Your friends had all went home with their respective catches, already attached to their newfound hookups by the mouths as they stumbled out through the door to their taxis. You mumbled a sarcastic 'I'll be fine on my own here, thank you' as they slipped out without a word one after another, until you were the only one left on your bar stool while drunk 20-something-year olds rubbed up on each other in the background.

At first you figured you should get yourself some better friends who wouldn’t leave you alone in a dive bar with middle aged men who held their stares a little too long. Then came the looming irritation over the fact that at 20, you still have no experience, left with an inability to even land a casual hookup. It's not what you want for your first time, but you see no other way out from your involuntary celibacy.

It's been an issue with you and your debatable self confidence since you were 16, and back then you could still convince yourself that it was still early and you had no rush. And now at 20 it's still not the end of the world, and you’re not on a one way path towards living in an apartment with 13 cats and no friends. You just want to have sex for god's sake. You want to experience everything you imagine while staring at the guys training back at the compound, the things you see and read and hear about described as euphoric and earth-shattering and mind blowing.

The plan you had when you were still 16, or more appropriately phrased - desired future, was that you would manage to lure a poor guy into a relationship until you could safely and lovingly have sex for the first time with someone you trusted. At this time you’re ready to grab one of the perverts in the corner of the bar, silently but not subtly gawking at every woman under 25 as they dance and throw back shots in tight dresses. Wouldn't be so bad to fulfill their perverse dreams for once, would it?

You will still thank your friends for giving you something to think about while riding the subway as far as it will take you. You haven't taken the subway in a good while, it's not needed very often when you work and live at the Avengers compound. For some reason you only brought cash with you tonight, weirdly enough, and it's not enough to pay for a taxi all the way to the compound, so you went as far as you could go with the subway and then payed for taxi the rest of the way.

You still haven't really comprehended how you managed to get yourself in there, and you ask Tony that everyday. He always gives you the same answer - you tripped in the doorway when you came in for your interview. You haven't recovered from the embarrassment you felt as you stumbled into the room right in front of Pepper Potts and Tony Stark.

You were definitely not expecting to meet those two that day, and the shock made you walk right into the doorway. You expected to meet a representative, someone to scope out if you actually had the healing abilities you claimed to have. Somehow, by reasons you will never understand, Tony found you qualified despite not having seen you showcase the very thing you were there for.

It's surprisingly quiet in the residential wing as you return from your night out, taking off your heels as soon as you get inside. You hold them in your hand as you tip through the main living area towards your room, pressing your thumb against the fingerprint-lock sensor. Your door clicks as it opens, and you step inside quietly while throwing your purse on the bed with a thud.

"Had a good time?" A voice speaks up from behind you. With a small jump you turn around to see Steve leaning against the doorway with his goddamn smirk and innocent eyes.

"Hi, Captain. You sneaked up on me,” you say through a small chuckle, playfully glaring at the man.

"It's late,” he says. You sigh over his familiar scolding.

"Yes, it is. But that's kind of the point of going out to a bar, isn't it?" You walk towards your drawer, bringing your hands up to your ear to take out your earrings.

"If you say so."

"And I didn't mean for it to be so late. The subway took way longer than I thought,” you sigh. A widening of his eyes and crossing his arms across his chest, Steve rubs his chin with his palm.

"I don't want you alone on the subway in the middle of the night. Next time you call Happy to get you," he says with a slight scolding look on his face. You nod with a roll of your eyes. "How did you even get inside the bar?” Steve asks suddenly, seemingly picking up on the beginning of your statement just now.

"Secret, illegal ways." You grin and discard your earrings in the small jewelry box on your drawer, before reaching behind your neck to unclasp your necklace. You can feel his glare on you even though you’re not facing him, but you also know that it's an amused one. Hopefully.

"It's quite ironic that you're sneaking around committing crimes while working with us,” he says and you let out a small chuckle.

"I haven't forgotten the time you were wanted in the entire world. You were on the run for years,” you say, turning around to face him. "And if it's to your pleasure, I ended up alone anyways. My friends left with their hookups by 2 am."

"And you didn't because...?" Steve says with a grin, playing clueless even though he knows damn well why.

"I feel like you and Sam have made it your mission to taunt me by now, huh? One time, one time I mentioned that I was a virgin and I haven't heard the end of it since,” you say while sauntering over to your closet to pull out an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sleeping shorts.

"It's just teasing, doll. Don't let it affect you too much,” he says.

"But you’re mean about it. I'm seriously considering going into a bar and picking up anyone that will have me so I can just get it over with,” you say, throwing your back dramatically on the bed.

"Okay, you're not doing that,” Steve says, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against the doorway. You turn your head towards him with a sigh.

"No, I will. It's embarrassing how long I've gone without having sex. It's about time,” you say, turning your body around so you’re laying on your stomach, pressing your face straight into the bed.

"Y/n, you're 20. I waited until I was 95, I survived,” he says and you chuckle, the sound muffled.

"The difference between us is that my abstinence is involuntary, Steve. I'll lose it if I turn 21 and I'm still a virgin." You groan into the soft sheets.

"Then let me do it,” he says.

"What?" You ask with your muffled voice, your face still pressed into the mattress.

"I'd rather see you being taken care of instead of sleeping with some random guy that ignores your needs and comes in 10 seconds, you know?" He says and you can't help but gulp over his statement.

"Are you saying that you want to..?" You ask, trailing off in the end as you lift your head up to look at him.

"Yes,” he says with a roll of his eyes. You stare at him with wide eyes for a few seconds before realizing that you haven't answered.

"But wouldn't it be weird between us afterwards?" You ask, embarrassment creeping up on your cheeks as you desperately try to avoid his stare.

"I have no plans of treating you any differently, if that's what you are worried about,” he says, exuding a certain confidence and certainty about the arrangement that you can't find it in yourself to have. You allow yourself to smile a little, leaning your chin in the palm of your hand.

"You're not gonna fall in love with me then? I might be so good that you can never think about another woman again." You giggle while glancing up at him and putting your arms under your chin.

"I'm not gonna fall in love with you,” he says with a groan.

"I'm insulted,” you answer playfully, though with a hint of truth behind the facade. The way he laid emphasis on 'you', like the thought disgusts him, prompted a pang of hurt in your chest. Even though you’re not in love with him either, a result of your painfully realistic view on love, it still toyed with your insecurities.

You know Steve would never have feelings for you, so although he is the image of a Greek god with a heart of 24 carat gold and just enough mischief in him, you haven't let yourself develop an attachment to him.

It seems like he isn't the only one who could never imagine having any type of relationship with you, let alone finding you attractive. Your blank slate of experience is enough proof of that, accompanied by a zero sum of people showing even the slightest bit of interest. His willingness to even consider sleeping with you is flattering in itself.

"I'm not so sure about this, Steve,” you say quietly.

"You know I care about you, Y/n. I want your first time to be safe and comfortable so your standards are where they should be from the beginning. I don't want your first encounter with sex to be bad and then expect the same in the future,” Steve says, looking at you with a genuine streak in his eyes. You have to admit that what he's saying, offering, is incredibly thoughtful. It shows he cares.

"It's very thoughtful of you, Steve. It really is, but are you sure you want this? With me?" You ask. It feels like he would regret it immediately afterwards. Or worse, during.

"I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't. Take your time and think it through, my offer stands for as long as we're friends." He looks up at you, giving you a gentle squeeze on your thigh before walking out of the door.

His proposal is the only thing you’ve thought about the last few days. There's so many things that could go wrong, so many signs telling you that it's a bad idea. Still, you can't help from seriously considering it. Steve is certainly not the worst contender, would say at the top of your list in reality, and he would take good care of you. You have no doubts about that. He's a gentleman through and through.

You also may have heard certain things about him. Overheard may be a better a word for it. You were properly surprised, on the verge of shocked, the first time you heard that he brought a woman home to the compound. Steve never came across as someone who engaged in one night stands to you. You wouldn't even take him as someone who had sex outside of marriage. He's just so old fashioned in everything else he does, that you automatically assumed that sex and relationships would be no different.

The main conflict you have with the arrangement is that even though you try to fight it, you will probably end up developing an emotional attachement to him that you won't be able to get rid of. It's hard enough as it is to not fall in love with him. You mean, look at him. If he starts acting all soft and sexy on you, you’re not going to be able to hold back any longer and end up moping around for him. You know that one day he will find himself the right woman for him, leaving you heartbroken instead.

The upside is that if you do this, you won't be completely inexperienced anymore. You can cope with the following feelings by sleeping around instead. Great, huh?

You think you’re willing to take the risks that follow. It might be good for you to feel something, experience something real like a heartbreak or two while you’re still young. You have been so deadbeat in your belief that nobody could like you that you haven't even developed a crush since you were 12. It's about damn time. You might as well lose your virginity and have good sex at the same time.

A few hours later, spent by working halfheartedly since your mind is occupied with different strategies and drafts of your possible conversation, you knock on Steve's door. Why you’re so nervous you can’t possibly understand. He was the one who offered this, the one who instigated it.

You bite your lip as you wait for him to open the door, but then you don't know if he's actually here or not. You turn on your heel after a minute, and right on the bat the door opens up.

"Why did it take so long for you to answer?" You pout as you instantly turn around. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow and an amused grin.

"Hello to you too,” he says. "And to answer your question, I was dragging myself up from the bed."

"Right, the old man needs his afternoon nap,” you tease, resulting in a slight glare from Steve, though his amusement is given away by the corner of his lips turning upwards slightly.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Y/n?" He asks, and you look down to the floor as you remember what you came here to do.

"I've been thinking...about your offer,” you say, avoiding his stare desperately. "I think I wanna do it." You glance up at him. His eyes widen just slightly when he hears your answer. He almost looks surprised, like he expected you to turn it down.

"Oh...yes, okay,” he stumbles over his words, bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his neck. You look down the hallway, feeling uncomfortable with the eye contact.

"How should we do this?" You ask, glancing down at your hands.

"Uh…whenever you're ready, of course. There’s no pressure,” Steve says, and you nod in answer.

"Is it weird to schedule it? It is, isn’t it?” You ask. “Should we just do it whenever we feel like it, like spontaneously, or do we decide an exact date and time?" You ramble. A small smile grows on Steve's lips as he leans against the doorway. It confuses you, since you’re as much of a nervous wreck as you can be.

"Do you want to decide an exact date?” He looks at you with a pointed look. “Doll, you are the one who needs to take the lead here. I can't decide anything for you,” he says while crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know…sorry. I'm just a little nervous,” you say, meeting his eyes for the first time in 2 minutes.

"No need to be. I'm going to take care of you,” he says, and you can feel yourself gulping over his words. There's no saving you now—you’re already too far into this.

"Friday? Is that a good day?" You ask abruptly. He chuckles lightly with a nod.

"Friday's perfect. Yours or my place?" He asks.

"Your apartment,” you answer quickly.

"Sex at my place on Friday it is,” he grins, and you allow yourself to smile lightly for the first time during your conversation.

"I'm gonna go now,” you say while pointing with your thumb to the end of the hallway awkwardly.

"See you on Friday,” he says before you turn around and hastily make your way back to your room.

You shift back and forth on your feet as you wait for Steve to open his door. This whole situation is weird and you have no idea how to even approach it. You’ve been asking yourself how you should act around him all day, what you’re going to say and if you should still joke around or be serious. You jump slightly as the door flies open, revealing a calm and smiling Steve.

"Come in,” he says, gesturing for you to step inside with his hand on the small of your back.

You walk inside, biting slightly on your thumbnail as the real nerves start to creep up on you. You can feel his presence behind you as you stand with your back against him. You tense up as he lays his hands on your shoulders, turning you around to face him.

"Relax, darling. This is a safe space, we're still friends. Don't be afraid to talk. I need you to talk, actually,” he says, crouching down slightly so he's at your level.

"Sorry,” you mumble. "I'll relax from now on,” you say and crack a small smile.

"We'll be in the bedroom, okay?" He asks, and you nod in answer before he leads you out from his small living room to his bedroom.

You sit down on the edge of the bed, glancing up at Steve as he closes the door behind him. You can't help from gawking at his torso, on its way to burst out from his tight t-shirt. He turns around gently, but stays in his place.

"We need to go over boundaries, so I know what you're comfortable with,” he says, and you nod in answer. "Is there anything at the top of your mind?"

"I don't think we should kiss,” you say quietly. It's not that you don't want to, it's more for self preservation-purposes. Again, you’re trying very hard not to fall for the guy in front of you.

"Okay." He nods with a small smile.

"That's it, I think,” you say, trusting Steve with the entire experience. He's safe and will notice if anything's uncomfortable for you.

"Just tell me if anything feels wrong, okay? We'll stop whenever you want to, don't hesitate to tell me,” he says and takes a step closer to you, kneeling down on the floor in front of the bed.

"The same goes for you, Steve. Don't feel obligated to do this if you really don't want to." He chuckles lightly while shaking his head.

"I know, sweetheart,” he says, and your heart does a somersault, just like every other time he calls you that goddamn pet name. You’re sure it’s something the two 40’s men have agreed upon torturing you with constantly.

His hands make their way to rest on your thighs. You bite your lip softly over the gesture.

"Can I kiss your neck? It's the mouth that's off limits, right?" Steve asks.

"Yeah. Feel free to do anything with my neck,” you say, and he smirks lightly trying to hold back a chuckle. A moment of silence is passed between you until you realize exactly how it might have come across. Your eyes widen in panic. "Oh god, that's not how I meant it."

"I’m not going to choke you,” he says. “Kids are into crazy things these days, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

"Idiot,” you mumble under your breath as he leans in towards your body slowly.

His lips suddenly hovers above your neck, like he's waiting for you to protest. When you don't, his lips connect with the skin on the side of your neck softly. His hands sneak their way up from your thighs to your waist, and you automatically bring yours to rest on his shoulders. A small, almost undetectable moan escapes your lips as he sucks on the spot he kissed, eliciting a quiet groan from Steve.

His lips move over your neck while he stands up from his kneeling position, until you’re laying down on the edge of the bed with Steve hovering above you.

"Let's move up a bit,” his muffled voice says against the crook of your neck. You nod, even though you’re not sure he will catch on.

His arm grabs a hold of your back, lifting you up slightly as he crawls over to the back of the bed. With a gentle movement he puts your head down on the pillow. You make eye contact for just a second before he attacks your chest hungrily again.

Your hands move from his back to the hem of your shirt, and you nudge on his chest slightly until he creates distance between you. He looks at you with some sort of confusion first, but he relaxes again as you slowly start to remove the fabric from your torso.

His eyes trail your upper body shamelessly as the skin becomes more exposed with every inch, eventually revealing the lace bra you bought just for this occasion. It feels different, a good of different, to be desired. You had to look good, and you won't even deny that you needed to feel sexy considering the unusual situation you’re currently finding yourselves in.

Steve doesn't waste even a second to attach his mouth to your newly exposed skin, hungrily trailing wet kisses over your cleavage. Your back automatically arches at the intimacy, your body reveling in the newfound pleasure of Steve's lips. He glances up at you every now and then, and even though your eyes are squeezed shut most of the time, it doesn't go unnoticed.

His kisses lower themselves down your upper body, landing on your lower stomach before he looks up at you with his fingers resting at the hem of your pants.

"You can take them off,” you say with a small smile on your lips, nodding in the approval you can tell he needs.

His fingers brush over the skin of your thighs as he tugs the material down your legs, until you’re only covered by the overly expensive matching set of white lace. Steve peppers kisses on your thighs, making you let out a small giggle over the slightly tingly feeling against your skin. The grin is practically plastered on his face as he looks up at you, and you feel yourself relax for the first time this evening.

"Let's get rid of these, shall we?" Steve asks and gestures to your underwear with a nod, trailing his calloused fingers over your covered nipple.

You nod in answer, gazing at him as he reaches behind your back to unclasp the bra. The straps fall down your shoulders, guided off of your arms by his hands. Steve watches your exposed breasts with intent, running his fingers over the now hardened nipples. The contact elicits a small whimper from your lips, silently begging for more. It seems like he understands the signal, trailing his hands down to the remaining piece of clothing.

"Lift,” he commands, tapping his fingers against your hip. You buck them up as he tugs your underwear down your legs gently. They're flung across the room, tossed into the corner while you automatically let your legs inch themselves towards each other. If vulnerability and the feeling of being exposed was present before, its heightened by 10 in this moment. Steve grabs a hold of your thighs and spreads them apart.

"No need to hide,” he says while pressing a kiss to your hipbone. The lingering touch of his lips trail down until they're pressed against your inner thigh. You tense up slightly as you realize where he's heading.

"No, wait,” you say, putting your hand on his head to hold him back. He looks at you with concerned eyes. "Are you going down on me?" You ask hesitantly.

"That is the plan,” he says. You can tell that you planted a seed of uncertainty in his mind.

"What if it tastes bad?" You say, cringing over the embarrassing question. His worried face drops, being replaced with a small chuckle and an amused grin.

"It won't." He chuckles, and you look at him with confusion.

"How do you know that?" You ask.

"I could smell you from the moment you stepped inside the door. Effect of the serum,” he clarifies. You nearly gasp.

"That's the worst thing I've ever heard,” you say, chuckling even though you’re mortified. "So you can just sense every time I'm turned on?"

He hums in answer while lowering himself towards your core.

"I'm never going to be turned on again,” you say, throwing your head back on the pillow.

Your chuckles are abruptly stopped as you feel his tongue lick a stripe through your folds, replacing the smile with a surprised gasp instead. You grab onto his hair for leverage as he flickers your clit with a swift move, sucking at the small bundle of nerves.

You can feel him smile, the warm breath against your core sending shivers throughout your body. The tip of his tongue dips inside of you, and you bite your lip over the new sensation. Your eyes close in pleasure while he sucks and flickers over your core, your legs threatening to close each time he uses his tongue to nip on your clit. His hands have found their way around your thighs, holding them apart while skillfuly bringing you closer to the edge.

"You're good at this,” you breathe out, grasping onto the sheets beside you, A small chuckle escapes his lips in answer, his tongue continuing his work on your lower body. You want to watch what he's doing, but your eyes continue to squeeze shut in pleasure. You guess it's a side effect of you trying to hold in the loud moans desperate to escape you, but it's embarrassing making sounds like that in front of him. Granted, his head is currently in between your thighs, but still.

A whimper spills out of your mouth when two of his fingers enter you slowly, while Steve looks up at you through his lashes, probably trying gauge your reaction. The new kind of intrusion is almost earth shattering, to be dramatic. Two fingers inside of you is new. You’ve only ever had one of your own before, and his thick digits take up a lot more space than yours.

After a few seconds he twists them, pushing them in further and pulling them out again while his tongue works your clit. You let your head fall back on the pillow, focusing on the feeling of his fingers filling you. A pace is starting to set, and the fingers add onto the building pleasure in your lower stomach. You can nearly feel how your walls clench around them, breaths starting to become shorter and more shallow. Your toes curl, trying to grasp around air as he quickens the movement of his fingers drastically at the sound of your quiet moan.

"There you go, sweetheart,” Steve says, voice all low and raspy and it shoves you off the edge immediately.

You can't hold the moan inside as your orgasm ripples through you, his fingers slowly riding out the high until you relax again. It takes a minute for you to regain your breath, all while Steve keeps his spot in between your legs.

"That was nice,” you say, voice strained but a smile on your lips. He grins up at you, and you can't help but feel heat travel to your face as his blue eyes filled with playfulness pierce into you, God, he's beautiful.

"Told you so,” he says with a grin. Normally you would smack him in the head if he said things like that, but you’re too wrapped up in your own state of post-orgasm bliss to care.

He pushes himself up from his position in between your legs, sitting on his knees while pulling off his t-shirt. Your eyes rake over his torso, taking in his godlike body. You look down after a second, trying to keep yourself at least a little respectful so he doesn't feel stared out.

"You can look, Y/n. It's only fair after I just gawked at your pussy for ten minutes,” he says bluntly. You glance up at him with a small grin on your lips.

"I never thought I would hear Captain America say pussy out loud,” you admit, resulting in a playful glare from him.

"Oh, shut it, Y/n. I'll edge you for an hour if you keep letting comments like that come out of your mouth,” he says, reaching out for his belt and begins to unbuckle the clasp.

"And here I thought I would be taken care of and treated nicely,” you say with a playful roll of your eyes. "So much for a gentleman, Rogers."

He chuckles and shakes his head lightly, unzipping his trousers and stepping out of them. Even when doing something that's normally awkward he looks almost graceful. You can't help from smiling internally as you see the large bulge in his boxers, considering it's a result of what he just did to you. You are the cause of it, it's impossible to not let that get to your head.

Steve climbs up onto the bed again, setting his arms on the sides of your hips while he hovers slightly above you without being too close.

"Are you ready for this? We can stop if you want to,” he says softly.

"I wanna do this,” you breathe out, and he nods in answer.

His torso hovers above yours as he reaches across the bed for the nightstand, pulling out a condom from the drawer. You don't know where to rest your eyes as he tugs off his boxers. Shyness suddenly creeps up on you at the sight of his thick length springing out of the fabric. Your eyes flicker between his red tip and your legs, desperately trying to avoid him catching you.

He takes the plastic package in between his teeth, ripping it open with just a swift move. You clench around air over the gesture, surprised that you found something mundane so attractive. You close your eyes gently as he pulls the condom over his aroused length.

"You tell me if you want to stop or if it hurts too much, okay? This is about you and your comfort,” he says while crawling over you, and you nod in answer.

A sudden nervousness washes over you as he positions himself between your thighs. His left hand rests on your waist, while his other has a hold around his cock as he moves it up and down through your folds to let you adjust to the feeling of it. He looks at you for permission to enter. You nod through a gulp.

You gasp as the tip enters you, the intrusion shocking you even though you were prepared. His cock stretches you out, a slight burn prominent as he sinks in deeper.

"Oh, shit." You wince, grabbing a hold of his bicep for leverage.

"Are you okay?" He asks, sounding concerned as he stills his movements.

"Hmm." You nod. "You can keep going. I'll be fine,” you breathe out.

After a minute he bottoms out, his pelvis pressing against your hipbone as he stays still inside of you for a few seconds.

"Can I move?" He asks, rubbing small, calming circles on your hip with his thumb.

"Yes." You bite your lip to suppress the sting of his cock stretching you out.

A small frown is etched into your face as he pulls out slowly again, a wince of pain escaping yout mouth. "Wait, wait, wait,” you say, squeezing his bicep slightly to stop his movements.

"Doll, promise me that you'll tell me if it's too much. I'll stop, we don't have to continue,” Steve says, concern evident in his voice. You breathe out deeply for a few seconds, just needing to adjust a little longer to the burn.

"It's okay,” you say, signaling for him to continue. He looks at you for a moment, searching for a sign that he should pull out. You nod at him, giving him a small, but genuine smile.

Steve rolls his hip slightly, pushing in with gentleness a few times as tears sting in the corner of your eyes. Small groans comes out of his mouth, and the fact that he's in pleasure helps with distracting yourself. It's getting less painful and more uncomfortable with every movement, but his soothing hand on your hip takes your mind off it. Just a little.

"You're doing so good,” he says, his voice low and just a tad strained as he moves in and out of you with small and gentle thrusts. It's almost like he's scared of breaking you, but you can't be more appreciative of that right now. The subtle praise makes your heart flutter, moving your fingers up to his shoulder, rubbing up and down over his skin.

His fingers find their way down to your clit, rubbing small circles while he picks up his pace just a little. The pleasure from his hand transfers over to the aching contact between his cock and your walls, and while it's still not exactly enjoyable the pain has subsided completely.

A small moan escapes your lips as his fingers move faster over your bundle of nerves, resulting in an almost growl from Steve. His right hand sneaks it's way under the small of your back, angling your hips slightly, giving him better access. The small adjustment results in a big difference, and it's getting slightly more enjoyable as his thrusts reach deeper inside of you.

"Better?" He asks, sensing your subtle relaxation. You nod through your whimpers, this time of pleasure. Your left hand flies up to his hair, nestling itself at the roots while your fingers scrape over his scalp. An almost undetectable grunt comes from him, and you take it as a sign that he likes it.

Your legs sneak their way around his waist, pulling him in deeper against you as your chests collide with each other. His face nuzzles itself into the crook of your neck, his shallow breaths against your skin creating goosebumps over your body.

"Should I keep touching you?" He asks, and your body tingles as his husky voice whispers into your ear. You know he just asked for your own sake, making sure you’re enjoying it too, but god, does it sound like music to your ears.

"Keep doing it,” you mumble. Your lips part slightly, a quiet and small moan coming from your mouth as he thrusts into you with a little more force and a slightly faster pace.

"So good. Taking me so well,” he says quietly, a slight rasp in his voice. You clench around him over his praises, and you feel yourself longing for more of his words when you fall back into silence again.

You let your hand explore it's way over his skin more, realizing that you haven't been responding to his gestures as much as he deserves. You run your nails gently down his back, not so it creates marks or presses into his skin, just so he feels their presence. The gesture results in his fingers increasing their pressure and pace on your clit, and you arch your back slightly over the new wave of pleasure building up inside of you.

"God, Steve. I think I'm close,” you whisper, wanting to communicate with him. You’ve been quiet for the most part.

"Come for me, sweetheart,” he mumbles into your ear.

His words alone are enough for the coil in your lower stomach to erupt, and with heavy breaths and clenching walls around his cock you feel the orgasm coursing through you. You subconsciously grip onto his arms a little tighter, needing some kind of anchor as his thrusts help you through your high. It's not as big as the previous one, but it's enough to leave you panting and oversensitive to his movements.

His hand has pulled away from between your legs and are now roaming around your torso, his movements getting more desperate and sloppier.

With a loud moan he shoots his load into the condom, riding out his orgasm with a last few pumps. He hovers above you, both hands on either side of your head as he breathes heavily. His eyes are closed, and you take the opportunity to admire him above you. His lips are red, a hint of sweat glistening underneath his hairline. A small smile creeps up on his lips as he opens his eyes, and you look away immediately to avoid eye contact.

"You did so good,” he says, pressing a small peck to your forehead. “Took what I gave you so well, sweetheart.”

You smile lightly, but your face quickly turns into a frown as he pulls out of you. A wince escapes you as you feel the absence of him bringing on a slight burn in between your thighs.

"Where you this good in the 40s too?" You breathe out, still slightly panting. You didn't know sex was this tiring.

Steve blushes slightly, shaking his head in amusement while moving away from his position above you, climbing off the bed and begins walking towards the bathroom.

"Virgin until 95, remember?" He says.

"Thank you for doing this, Steve,” you say, glancing over at him as he discards the condom in the bathroom.

"My pleasure. Literally,” he says. He's already joking, while you’re exhausted. He comes back into the bedroom, walking over to his closet and pulls out a pair of sweatpants as you stay in your position on the bed.

You pull your legs over the edge of the bed, biting your lip to hold back the winces wanting to roll off your tongue. You feel overwhelmingly exposed, maybe even vulnerable, as you make your way to the bathroom, completely naked.

It's a tad colder in the bathroom, where the warm air from your intimate contact hasn't reached. Slight shivers spread through your body as you gently close the door behind you, leaning against it while giving out a sigh. It was so good. So, so good, and Steve was absolutely perfect. Caring, listening to your needs and somehow knew what you wanted without even a word escaping your lips. And still, you can't help but feel...sad.

You knew this was going to happen. You still did it, and you can't act like you’re surprised that this is how you’re feeling. You knew that you would long for his touch, for his affection, even though it's not yours to receive. You knew that you wouldn't be able to act the same around him after this.

What you didn't know, was that it would hit you so soon. You’re standing in his bathroom, only two minutes after, with waves of emotions crashing through you like a freight train. It's almost laughable, how you tried to convince yourself you didn't have feelings for him before this happened. Like this would magically make them appear, when they were already there from the beginning.

"Steve?" You ask quietly through the door after spending almost 10 minutes drowning in your own emotions. Your voice is barely above a whisper, but you know he can hear you.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, and you can tell he's walking closer to the door.

"Yes, yes. Could I just get my clothes?" You ask, leaning the side of your head against the door.

"Sure,” Steve answers.

Only a few seconds later you can feel his presence right outside the door. You open it slightly, just enough for your hand to stick out to receive the clothes.

"You know I just had you naked underneath me for half an hour, right?" Steve chuckles. You take in a shaky breath, trying to lighten up your mood.

"Yeah, I know,” you say quietly through the door crack, before closing it again.

When you step out fully dressed after a few minutes, Steve is sitting on the edge of the bed, seemingly lost in thought. The tension in the air is evident, though you suspect most of it is coming from you. He looks up at you through his long lashes, scanning over your face to read your expression, just like he always does when he suspects something is wrong.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Steve speaks up, standing from his sitting position on the bed before he’s walking towards you.

"Yes, Steve,” you sigh with a small smile on your lips. "I promise. Everything's fine, it was great. Relax, golden boy,” you say, biting your lip slightly to suppress the small giggle that's threatening to escape.

He hums, still in thought. Either he doesn't believe you, or he's having regrets about what you just did. Both of the options tightens your chest painfully.

"I think I'm going to go back to my place,” you say and place a gentle hand on his shoulder, holding it there for just a second before taking a step back and turning around towards his door.

"Y/n, wait-" Steve starts saying just as you reach the door. You turn around slowly, resting your hand on the doorhandle. "Just...tell me if you need anything,” he says, and you nod slightly before walking out.

It seemed like he was going to say something else, but changed his mind just before opening his mouth. You’ve been there a few times yourself.

The walk back is embarrassing, even though you have nothing to be embarrassed of. For everyone else it seems like you’re strutting through the hallways like any other night, but you know you just had sex for the first time, but only as a favor. God, Steve Rogers, out of all people. Unattainable, America's golden boy, out of reach from most, and definitely out of reach from you.

And while you know the situation is very bizarre considering his entire demeanor and reputation, because he offered it himself, you know things could never go further between you than that. You had sex, as friends, and now you don't think you’ll ever be able to allow another man to take up the space he occupies.

The things he said into your ear, the way he touched you like you were fragile and something worthy of gentleness, how his tongue moved across your core like a man starved. How can you move on from that? From him?

You have to. The plan even before tonight was to hook up with strangers until the need from Steve disappears, until you can get what you want from someone else. But you don't just want sex. You want him, the entirety of him. You want him to be yours, to be able to cherish the man that is Steve Rogers and give him everything he deserves from the world that has failed him multiple times.

You slam your head into the wall as soon as you enter your room, groaning out of frustration over the entire situation. You’re going to have to pretend to be your old, happy self around him, like what you just did doesn't affect you and your entire friendship. Pretend like your feelings aren't there, like you don't adore him with everything you have.

And pretend you do, all week. Every time you end up with Steve in a room, you force yourself to put on a smile and act normal. But something is off between you, and you felt it from the moment you left his room last Friday. Each time you slip into conversation, it's like something switches in Steve after a few minutes, like he's reminded of what you did and merely the thought disgusts him. He closes off, begins to stutter on his words and speak with unfinished sentences. It breaks your heart, and you’ve realized that it was a bad choice. A really bad choice sleeping with him. You kind of knew what you were getting yourself into, but it seems like Steve wasn't prepared for the tension between you afterwards.

The only thing keeping you from completely detoriating and going into hibernation is the party Tony is throwing tomorrow, celebrating god knows what. Maybe it's his pool boy's mother's birthday this time. The excuses are always there, although never particularly good. But if you can get through to it, you can maybe find someone to bring home with you and then feel bad about that instead of the situation with Steve.

Wanda has been bugging you all day about helping her pick out clothes for tomorrow. She's the only person even near your age in this entire compund, and the poor girl is still so innocent despite everything she has been through, despite losing so many people she loved dearly. On the battlefield she is filled with rage, but at home in safety, you could swear she's still as sweet as a child. It makes you so glad when she gets excited for things, that you can't help but ride on her wave of excitment just for a few days.

God, now that you’re sitting on her bed watching as she rummages through her surprisingly extensive closet, there is nothing more you want to do than confess everything that happened between you and Steve. You almost do, before you realize that it would be so wrong for her to realize what you’ve done. The man is over a decade older than you. No, scratch that—a century. He's kind of your superior, and don't even get you started on the fact that he is Captain fucking America.

He casually took you through your first encounter with sex barely a week ago. You trust Wanda, you do, you just don't know what she will think of you if you tell her. Will she go to Tony and then somehow have you fired? Will she ever look at you the same way again?

"Y/n, I don't appreciate your looming thoughts clouding the room. There's no point in hiding things from me,” Wanda says with a frown, sounding stern and concerned at the same time. You look up at her with a hesitant expression, before returning your stare to the floor.

"I don't know, Wanda. I-i'ts fucked up this whole thing,” you say quietly, avoiding her burning gaze. "It's unprofessional confiding things like this to you."

"We're long past professional at this point, Y/n. We have been for quite a few months, actually. I'd like to consider myself your friend, and I'm concerned. You have been acting strange all week,” she says, sitting down on the bed beside you. You bury your face in your hands with a groan, leaning your elbows on your knees.

"I don't know what to do,” you almost sob, feeling tears well up in your eyes. Wanda's hand rests gently on your back, encouraging you to continue. "I'm so fucking stupid, going around falling in love with someone I'll never have."

"It's Steve, right?" She asks softly. You snap your head up with your lips parted, staring at her in shock.

"What? No-" You start.

"You don't have to lie to me, I've seen the way you look at him,” Wanda says.

"It’s so dumb. I don't even know how I got here, but something happened between us last week and now everything's weird and tense,” you say while a stray tear falls down your cheek. Like a fucking stupid girl in a cliché movie. "I think he regrets it,” you sigh.

"Now, I don't know what happened between you two, but like hell he regrets doing anything with you,” Wanda says, her voice slightly sterner than before. You almost giggle when you hear the curse slip out of her mouth. It's an unusual occurence. "Anyone would be lucky to be with you, and while I'm not particularly fond of you being with a man that much older than you, I know that Steve is a good man. And as a good man he should know your value. If he can't appreciate that he doesn't deserve you."

"But he hasn't done anything wrong. It was casual, what we did. No strings attached. I went and fucked things up with my feelings,” you say quietly.

"I think you should talk to him, figure out what he feels about the situation. Maybe he feels the same way,” she says while rubbing the palm of her hand up and down your sweater-clad back.

"There's no way. I'm not going to talk to him and he would never feel the same way, so I think I'm just gonna drink myself stupid and go home with some random guy at the party tomorrow,” you sigh while tugging at the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

"We both know that's a horrible idea, but if that's what you want to do I'm not going to stop you." She chuckles. "And Tony would kill you if you got drunk. I think you not drinking until you're 21 is the only responsibility he has taken seriously for the entire time I've known him."

"Yeah, well his bartenders are the ones who keep serving me,” you sniffle.

"Let's pick out something for you to wear too, huh? Make the Captain realize what he's missing."

"So much for Tony's mission to stop me from drinking,” you say while clinking your glass against Wanda's, earning a glare from the redheaded woman.

Your eyes quickly avert her gaze, flickering over the crowd while straightening your dress. While the tight dress looks quite pretty on you, it rides up constantly. You’ve been well on your way to flashing several party-goers many times in the past two hours, both while dancing and sneaking drinks from the bar.

"I think you should take a break. And have you spoken to Steve yet?" She asks while patting your hair, fixing a stray lock that's been messed up during the evening.

"No. Not planning on either,” you say with a hiccup. "Do you think that guy would go home with me? I'm pretty enough for a one night stand, right?" You continue while pointing at a tall guy in his mid-20s, resting against the bar counter with a smirk on his face.

"Y/n,” Wanda says with a warning tone in her voice.

"I think I'm gonna talk to him,” you say, trying to wrestle your hand out of Wanda's grip.

"I'll tell Tony,” she says, prompting you to turn around with a pout.

"You wouldn't,” you gasp.

"I definitely would, especially if you go bother that handsome man. At least find Steve first, let him know how you feel. Nothing good will come out of this, you'll only make yourself more miserable,” Wanda says softly.

You avert your eyes to your shoes, trying to avoid the truths coming out of her mouth. You know she's right, but you’re a coward and you’d rather regret sleeping with a random guy in the morning than get rejected by the man you’re in love with.

"I'm sorry,” you say while giving Wanda an apologetic smile, before turning around and heading for the handsome stranger at the bar.

It's like the man could tell that you were walking towards him, because while you’re halfway there his eyes lock with yours, before wandering down your body. A smirk adorns his face, and despite the small discomfort it brings you, you continue your walk towards him. It's so unlike you, just walking up to a guy like this. You’ve barely flirted with someone before, and now you’re going to coerce this man to take you home? Drunk you does stupid things.

"I'm not gonna lie, I had eyes on you all night,” he says when you come up to the bar, wearing a shy smile on your face. Your confidence withered with every step, but his statement rebuilds it slowly. He thinks you’re hot?

"Well, lucky me,” you say, leaning against the bar while tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

"I'm Jake,” he says, reaching his hand out with the smirk still plastered on his face. This might be easier than you thought.

"Pleasure to meet you, Jake. I'm Y/n,” you say, grabbing his hand in return. It's clammy, and the contact sends unpleasant shivers down your spine. Are you really doing this? Yes. Yes, you are. You’re doing it, no matter how much you wanna back down right now.

"Let me buy you a drink. What do you want, kitten?" Jake says while turning his body towards the bartender on the other side of the counter, who visibly winces when the pet name falls out of Jake's mouth. Not much unlike you.

"A Cosmo, extra lemon slice on the side,” you say, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible.

"Nah, something stronger to celebrate the occasion. Four tequila shots, please,” he says to the bartender, who gives him a very unsubtle side eye. You gulp, wanting to curse out Jake for completely disregarding your wishes. It'll make it easier tomorrow when leaving the douchebag.

His hand sneaks its way to the small of your back while you watch the bartender pour up the liquid in four small glasses. It doesn't feel entirely wrong, which is a step forward if anything. You can't help but wonder how it would feel if it was Steve instead. He's done that a few times before, always the gentleman, while walking with you somewhere. The four shots is almost slammed onto the counter with lime and salt on the side, and you waste no time gulping your two shots down.

"It's hot, seeing a girl taking her shots so well,” Jake says while shamelessly ogling you. You force a smile onto your face, nodding slightly.

"Huh, I'll make sure to memorize that for the future,” you answer.

While you’ve grown to despise this Jake guy during these past few minutes, you’re not gonna lie and say that you completely despise the attention he's giving you. You’ve never had someone so clearly show interest in you before, even if it's obviously only for what you could give him. "So, Jake..." You say while resting your hand on his bicep, attempting to somehow seduce him with your severly inexperienced flirting skills.

"Hm, kitten?" Jake urges on, lowering his hand from your back until it squeezes your ass through the tight material of your dress.

"Should we head out of here?" You ask, ignoring the voice in your head screaming at you that this is a bad idea.

"I thought you'd never ask." Jake smirks, biting his bottom lip. His hand moves from your ass to your arm, tugging you away from the bar towards the door.

"Wait,” you say, stopping him slightly. "I need to get my bag."

"Oh, sure. I'll come with you." He nods, and you turn around before he can get the chance to grab your arm again.

You lead him through the thick crowd towards the seating area where you know Wanda will be sitting with your small handbag, containing your phone and keys. You saw her earlier, talking with Tony, Sam and Rhodey. An unusal quartet, but probably enjoyable nonetheless. You almost find yourself wishing you could join them too, but you’re doing this.

"Y/n! I haven't seen you all night,” Tony almost shouts happily when he sees you approaching.

"Hi, Tony,” you say, biting your lip nervously when you feel Jake's hand taking a hold of yours. Tony's smile falters when he sees the contact, and his face quickly turns into a confused frown.

"Who's this guy?" Sam asks, wearing the same expression as Tony. Though even in your drunken state you can tell it holds just the tiniest bit of resentment towards the unkown guy by your side.

"This is Jake,” you say quickly. "I was just getting my bag,” you continue while stepping towards Wanda who holds it in her hand. She gives you a dissapointed glare as she hands it over, and you meet it for just a second before averting your gaze.

"You going somewhere?" Sam asks again, continuing what could turn into an interrogation if you don't leave soon.

"I'll be back tomorrow,” you say quickly, ignoring and answering his question simultaneously.

"Hey, hey, hey. Wait a second,” Tony says, putting his drink down on the table. "Who are you?" His stare flickers over Jake, while a protective glare etches onto his face.

"Tony,” you warn. "I'm leaving now. Call if you need anything,” you say and turn around, tugging the suddenly quiet Jake with you.

"Stay safe, kid,” Rhodey calls from his seat on the couch. You turn around and give him an appreciative smile, as he is the only one who seemingly supports your little adventure. From the corner of your eye you can see Sam rising from his seat, but after getting several feet into the thick crowd away from your colleagues, you can tell that he isn't following you.

Throughout the hours the room has become more packed with people you both work with and complete strangers, pressing up against each other as the music blares loudly. You’ll never know how Tony manages to lure in this many people without alerting the entire city, but you curse him for it right now as you and Jake try to wrangle yourselves through the crowd. Sweaty and warm bodies accidentally bump into you as Jake's hand holds a steady grip around your wrist. You can barely see anything, even though you’re fairly tall on your heels.

The thick gathering of bodies thin out the closer you get to one of the exits, and you finally take a deep breath as you manage to get yourselves out into the lobby where the air seems lighter and much less suffocating. A few people still lounge out in the spacious halls, but the distance is enough to get through without having to shove them aside. Jake's hand still holds a tight grip around your wrist, like if he held you any looser you could bolt any second. The light is very unwelcome, and you almost have to squint to keep yourself from tearing up at the uncomfortable contact with your eyes.

As you near the exit, you give appreciative nods to the security guards lining the doors, which are returned with familiar smiles. Jake doesn't acknowledge them, but you didn't really expect anything else from an entitled asshole like him. You’re glad you will probably never see him again after tonight. Geez, at least pretend to be a little more excited, Y/n.

The warm summer air hits you as soon as you step outside, while the darkness surrounds you. The spotlights installed all around the compound lights up the beautifully constructed parking lot. You think the Avengers compound parking lot is the only beautiful parking lot in the world. You didn't know parking lots could be beautiful until you started living here. And now you’re thinking about parking lots instead of the guy you’re about to hook up with.

You barely get ten feet outside before you feel a hand at your shoulder, drastically turning you around to meet the face. You furrow your brows in confusion as you see Steve in front of you. Jake stops as well, and you can feel him gripping your wrist slightly tighter as he sees the great Captain America in front of you.

"Steve?" You ask hesitantly.

"What are you doing?" Steve asks with a stern face. "Sam told me you were leaving,” he says, and you realize that's what Sam was doing when he left the seating area earlier. Why would he tell Steve you were leaving?

"I mean, yeah...I am,” you say, confused over Steve's sudden need to know where you’re going. You turn to Jake, seeing him with a mixed expression of slight intimidation and irritation. "You go ahead to the taxi, I'll catch up,” you say softly, though you’d rather punch him in the face for the assholey things he's said the past 15 minutes. Jake reluctantly releases his hold around you and turns around with a scoff, walking towards one of the countless taxis parked around the compound.

Steve looks at Jake as he walks away with a glare, while you look at Steve with a confused expression. It's like Steve straightened his back as soon as he caught eyes with Jake, like the giant he already is isn't enough to intimidate anyone on this earth.

"What do you want, Steve?" You ask softly with a sigh. He immediately tears his gaze away from Jake, softening until his blue eyes shine through the darkness, boring into your soul. You have to force yourself from falling at his feet and kissing them, confessing your undying love and loyalty to the man in front of you.

"Don't go home with him,” Steve says, while his chest moves up and down like he just ran over here. Steve never gets flustered by running.

"What?" You ask quietly, looking at him with shock written on your face.

"Please…just, don't. Don't have sex with anyone else. I don't want you to have sex with him,” he says, and you furrow your brows as he speaks.

"Steve-"

"I haven't stopped thinking about you since last week,” he blurts out. Your heart stops completely. "Do you have any idea of how much I've thought about that moment, when I could finally get my hands on you? And then it happened, and I…” Steve trails off.

"What are you saying?" You ask timidly. If this is anything other than a confession of his feelings you think you might cry. By the tears threatening to spill out of your eyes, you think you will anyway.

"I've been forced to watch you with that punk, treating you like dirt. You know he didn't even hold the door open for you? You don't deserve that,” Steve rambles, and a small smile sneaks up on your lips over his gentlemanly thoughts.

"I really like you. A lot. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but I just…couldn't. I couldn't do that to you, confess my feelings and lay all that weight on you while being your superior. And you're so young, god, I know it's wrong. I might go to hell over this, but I have to know if you want this." He looks up at you, a hopeful look in his eyes. You stand still, unable to move your lips to get out the words desperate to escape. "Please tell me you feel the same,” he pleads.

The words seem to be unable to leave your mouth, so without second thought you retort to the only thing your mind can comprehend doing. Your hands cup his face, as you stand on your tiptoes to pull his face down into a soft kiss. It's quick and gentle, but you just needed to assure him that his instincts weren't wrong.

You pull away slightly, your faces mere inches from each other. Steve lets out an exhale, like he held pounds of tension in his body. You smile lightly, resting your forehead against his while calming your own breaths down. Your hands don't leave his face, needing to feel him for just a while longer.

"Steve, I'm head over heels for you,” you breathe out. A small chuckle escapes his lips, and if it isn't the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard, then you don't know what is. Steve's hands sneak their way to your waist, pulling you into another bruising kiss.

"Hey! What the hell!?" A male voice interrupts your spontaneous make out session, and you involuntary pull away from Steve's lips to see who the voice belongs to. You giggle slightly as you realize it belongs to Jake. You glance up at Steve after a few seconds before turning your body towards Jake.

"Sorry! I'm kind of occupied!" You shout, your voice carrying through the parking lot to the poor guy. Okay, poor guy is an overstatement. He was a dick. Jake throws his hands up in the air, and you can almost hear the curses falling from his lips.

"Why don't you ditch that punk and let me take you home instead?" Steve smirks and presses another quick peck to your lips. You giggle into the kiss, nodding while smiling so much your cheeks hurt.

"Are you insinuating something, Rogers?" You say with a playful grin. "Haven't even taken me out to dinner.." You shake your head, smiling like an idiot.

"Very funny, sweetheart. Any other night I'd gladly bring you to my bed, but someone's just a little drunk,” Steve says, holding his hands protectively around your waist. A pout creeps up on your face, prompting a sweet chuckle to escape from Steve's lips. The most beautiful pair of lips you’ve ever laid eyes on.

"You're lucky I have a sweet spot for you, Steve Rogers."

"I don't think I've ever been more glad to have a sweet spot in someone." He chuckles, earning a bright smile from your tipsy state.

"You're so weird." You giggle.

"Yeah, yeah. Let me take my girl home now, will you?" Steve asks, while leading you inside again.

"I'd let you take me anywhere, Steve Rogers."