THE END IS THE BEGINNING-

and it's the old religion, humming in your veins ...

[misaentropy]

a private, very low activity multimuse blog established by rae. multi-genre, headcanon based interpretations. mutuals only, personals dni.

RULES ! basic stuff applies. don't be a bigot, don't try to force ships or dynamics. 21+ due to the nature of the characters and the universes they exist within. plots and shenanigans with friends get priority. triggers are tagged accordingly to the best of my ability, let me know if i miss anything.

ME ? it's rae! 25+, gmt, she/they, autistic, uni student. i may not post a lot but you best bet i'm lurking either here or on discord (available on request for chats, plotting and writing!)

FRIENDS AND AFFILIATES ? you could be here!

CREDITS ! psd and pinned image come from the ever wonderful @/vanguardcomms <3

MUSE LIST ! assorted from various fandoms, medias and brain worms. organised alphabetically by source material, with voice testing and request only muses at the end. under construction and subject to change. if you want more information, hit me up and i will info dump in your dms.

a song of ice and fire.

DAENERYS TARGARYEN. she/her, 16-21 dependent. the stormborn, the unburned, the promised. in canon settings, dany is a minor so don't be weird. i tend to write a slightly older version of her in other verses so as to explore more balanced relationships with her. she is rigid in her understanding of right and wrong, both naive and wilfully ignorant of the grey areas in between. she walks the fine line between lawful and tyrannical, and is losing her balance.

MELISANDRE. she/her, appears to be in her late 30s but is chronologically much older. melisandre is a vessel for her god, who often speaks and acts through her body. her conviction isn't as resolute as she might have you think.

request only: aegon vi targaryen

assassin's creed.

EIVOR VARINSDOTTIR. she/her, late 20s in most cases. > ship exclusive with @/b4ttl3's randvi!

SIGURD STYRBJORNSSON. he/him, early 30s. > heavily affiliated with @/skrimslis's eivor!

dragon age.

EMILY PRENTISS. criminal minds, rewritten in dragon age. she/her, early 40s in most verses. daughter of a tevinter magister, protege of livia arida. destined to rule the imperium but ended up becoming a grey warden instead.

ISABELA. she/her, wouldn't you like to know. self-proclaimed queen of the seas, minus a ship to captain. > heavily affiliated with @/maskend's zevran!

VARRIC TETHRAS. he/him, mid 20s-late 50s depending. the man, the myth, the legend. > heavily affiliated with @/k1tch3n's tess!

request only: anora mac tír, morrigan

elden ring.

ROGIER. he/him, mid 30s. spell-blade and scholar. > heavily affiliated with @/maskend's d!

RANNI THE WITCH. she/her, unknown. former lunar princess, daughter of the ill-fated union between radagon and rennala. cast aside her body to kill godwyn's soul, now inhabiting a porcelain doll made in the image of her former tutor. there's so much to unpack here.

voice testing: fia

request only: miquella

misc.

ELLIE WILLIAMS. tlou. she/they, 14-late 20s.

JOHNNY SILVERHAND. cyberpunk 2077. he/him, 34 forever. > ship exclusive with @/skrimslis's v!

LUCY MACLEAN. fallout. she/her. 25 (fight me). 'my father is the worst man alive and i am his favourite daughter'.

MAY SMITH. fallout. she/her, 200+. sole survivor, former army engineer. one woman army.

voice testing: robert robertson

request only: astarion ancunin (bg3), sypha belnades (castlevania), odin borsson (myth), curufinwë atarinkë (tolkien), lothíriel of dol amroth (tolkien),

the witcher.

ANNA HENRIETTA. she/her, early 40s.

GERALT OF RIVIA. he/him, too damn old.

LAMBERT. he/him, also too damn old. > heavily affiliated with @/maskend's aiden!

request only: cerys an craite, gezras of leyda

[misaempty]

THIS IS YOUR HERITAGE, YOUR FUTURE: a webweave for Targaryen Queens; Visenya I, Rhaenyra I + Daenerys I.

Waiting: A Nonbeliever's Higher Power, by Marya Hornbacher; latin, origin unknown; No.41, Peasant's head by Domenico Induno and Medea written by Euripides, tr. by Oliver Taplin; House of The Dragon S2E1, unknown, House of the Dragon S1E3; The Course of an Empire, Consummation and Destruction, by Thomas Cole; Battle Of Sinop 1853 by Ivan Aivazovsky and Queens show No Mercy by J.M; The Great Fire of London in 1666 by Lieve Verschuier, and Tattvamasi, You Are That by Rajiv Mohabir; Anguish by August Friedrich Albrecht Schenck

do not reblog.

[misaempty]

what a long way you've come. oughgh ranni & rennala ..

She cannot feel the gentle caress of @k1tch3n's fingers against her porcelain cheek, but Ranni recalls their warmth from a time long past. If her glass eyes could water, tears would flow freely from them at the sight before her - the shell that once was the Full-Moon Queen. Her radiance dimmed by the light of the Erdtree. Her spirit shattered by the Lord of Gold. Even now she still cradles his parting gift, clutching it to her chest with one hand while the other reaches for the memory of her daughter. There is no beating heart to ache, to break, but Ranni still feels the sting of the gesture.

Mother, sweet mother, you deserved so much more than this fate. Locked in a tomb in her own castle, a tower over the lands that once revered her. The acolytes hum around them, and the princess wants nothing more than to snuff out their candles and banish them from this moment. Rennala may not remember it in a month, or a week, or a day, but Ranni will carry this goodbye with her for eternity.

" It is all for you, mother. " The witch tells her, squeezing her hand with the dolls fingers. They are cold and unfeeling, but Ranni hopes that Rennala will remember when they once belonged to a little girl that would hold them tightly and beg not to let go. " Everything I am become has been for you, and everything that I will be. "

She can feel the sorceress' attention waning. She wants to return to her dream, where the world is perfect and cannot hurt her any further. Ranni will not deny her this. It is painful to witness, but it is a kindness in many ways. Her mother won't have to watch what she must do now to achieve her end.

" Farewell, mama. " Whispered against the back of her mother's hand, before gently returning it to her. Princess Ranni then rises for the last time, her name and duty laid to rest at the feet of the Queen of the Full Moon. Unbound by the shackles that not even the rune of death could break. A daughter no more.

SOUR CHERRY ... accepting.

[misaentropy]

I'm on a reading kick atm (thank god!!! It's been forever!!!!!) but unfortunately for everyone I've just finished gideon the ninth and I cannot stop thinking about that big ginger lesbian-

[misaentropy]

love visiting my gf bc I get custody time with my favourite son (turnip, my elden ring pc thats just pure strength and no thoughts)

[misaentropy]

no happy fathers day here. they're all terrible to varying degrees. but at least joel and geralt have daughters that still speak to them (and do unspeakable things to avenge them)

[jamsmemes]

(     *     RESIDENT EVIL REQUIEM.

a selection of dialogue prompts from the game resident evil requiem. feel free to change pronouns / details as needed.

‘we found another body.’

‘perhaps it’s time for you to face the past? confront that fear head-on.’

‘i won’t force you to go, but do you think you can do this for me?’

‘there might be answers inside.’

‘why am i even here?’

‘you have been on that thing all day.’

‘we need to keep our voices down.’

‘tell me what’s going on.’

‘now is not the time. stay close.’

‘i’m calling the police!’

‘i’m so sorry. this is all my fault.’

‘i’m the one that brought you here.’

‘we have so much to do.’

‘you’ve got to be shitting me.’

‘don’t do anything stupid.’

‘someone help me!’

‘well, fuck. let’s make this quick.’

‘back to square one.’

‘we’re running out of time.’

‘you gotta stay calm.’

‘where the hell am i?’

‘don’t come any closer!’

‘what the hell was that thing?’

‘i’ll be fine. i hope.’

‘you can’t see, can you?’

‘why are you in there?’

‘who made a mess? why the mess?!’

‘what if i can’t get out?’

‘this might be useful.’

‘so loud… my head… keep it down!’

‘don’t fuck with me.’

‘it’s your fucking fault!’

‘give me a fucking break!’

‘you laughed at me!’

‘well, at least it’s easier to walk around now.’

‘come in. i won’t harm you.’

‘why did you kidnap me?’

‘it took forever to find you.’

‘you’re not like other people, you know. you’re quite… unique.’

‘there’s no escaping your destiny!’

‘did anyone hurt you?’

‘please, i really need your help.’

‘you handle this. i’ll handle… that.’

‘i thought that thing was dead!’

‘you’re an investigator, right? well, investigate.’

‘when was the last time you brushed your teeth?’

‘you are an ignorant fool.’

‘you’re a dead man walking!’

‘sorry, i was a little tied up.’

‘hope i’m not next.’

‘you felt that one, huh?’

‘sorry, but i’m not on the menu.’

‘you’re killing me.’

‘well, hey. at least we’re in it together, right?’

‘oh god, i really don’t wanna go in there.’

‘ugh, it got in my mouth…’

‘hold on tight!’

‘why’s it so loud?’

‘let’s play.’

‘here, i kept this safe for you.’

‘do you maybe… wanna leave with me?’

‘it’s not safe here.’

‘we need to keep moving, okay?’

‘it’s okay, we’re not infected.’

‘you don’t need to worry about me.’

‘are you lying to me?’

‘have you seen the same shit i’ve seen?!’

‘look, we’re out of options here.’

‘how much longer do you think any of us can survive?’

‘we can help each other.’

‘it’s a deal.’

‘found you.’

‘hello, gorgeous.’

‘i can’t stop the bleeding.’

‘hey, hey, look at me. we’re gonna be okay.’

‘i’m sorry. i know it hurts.’

‘i need to keep you safe.’

‘are you listening? i said stop!’

‘you feel lost, but you’re not. you’re exactly where you need to be.’

‘i’ve been waiting for you.’

‘i’ll just go it alone.’

‘we’re in this together. till the end.’

‘i’ve always been good at working in the shadows.’

‘just don’t do anything too risky, yeah?’

‘gonna have to find another way around.’

‘you’re a real pest, you know that?’

‘haven’t you had enough?’

‘looks like someone else was here first.’

‘guess the only way in is through then.’

‘looks like they left in a hurry.’

‘something’s missing.’

‘i’ll have to shoot it down.’

‘so the rumours were true.’

‘don’t be ridiculous.’

‘i thought i had a short fuse.’

‘don’t mind if i do.’

‘some things never change.’

‘watch your back.’

‘this is my lucky day.’

‘do you still think about what happened there?’

‘sorry. this isn’t the time, we need to focus.’

‘this day just keeps getting better and better.’

‘i don’t give up that easy.’

‘i’ve had enough of you!’

‘i know the feeling.’

‘should’ve worn a helmet.’

‘so many attempts. so many failures. such a waste.’

‘it’s past our bedtime.’

‘please just be a bad dream.’

‘what’s done is done. you need to focus on the future.’

‘i had a feeling you’d make an appearance.’

‘sorry, but i don’t have time to spare.’

‘i’m gonna do some digging.’

‘i guess this is my stop.’

‘this is one very deep hole.’

‘just so you know, i’ve killed every plant i ever had.’

‘i’m getting the feeling i’m not wanted around here.’

‘we finally meet.’

‘didn’t realise i had such a big fan. how about an autograph?’

‘worried about me? how sweet.’

‘sneaky bastard.’

‘coming from you, that’s quite the compliment.’

‘time to finally get some answers.’

‘don’t embarrass yourself. you can’t beat me.’

‘you still need me, right?’

‘me? feel like a million bucks.’

‘where does this take us?’

‘your guess is as good as mine.’

‘how long was i out?’

‘i couldn’t make a difference.’

‘i’m coming with you.’

‘i don’t want any more regrets.’

‘whatever it takes, count me in.’

‘if anything happens to me… you promise… you’ll end this.’

‘you think you can give me a boost?’

‘this is it. i did it.’

‘where have i seen this…?’

‘life takes unexpected turns, don’t you think?’

‘looking back, do you feel that the choices you’ve made have contributed to… your present circumstances?’

‘what you sow, you reap. isn’t that the natural order?’

‘what would you like the world to know?’

‘i’m not a young man. i don’t have the energy i once did.’

‘your body can’t take much more.’

‘i’m gonna settle this.’

‘haven’t changed much, have you?’

‘let’s get this over with.’

‘what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?’

‘humans cannot predict when death will come for them. this is why they have hope.’

‘i was wrong… and i am plagued by guilt.’

‘happiness cannot be achieved at the expense of others.’

‘i think that’s enough for today.’

‘aren’t you beautiful?’

‘is there anything else you’d like to tell me?’

‘i’ve said my piece. i only hope it serves as a requiem for those who have passed.’

‘this is finally my chance to do something.’

‘please wake up. come on, wake up.’

‘i was just resting my eyes.’

‘let me help you.’

‘i don’t know the password.’

‘i can buy you some time.’

‘fulfill your destiny, and all will be forgiven.’

‘at least… i could save you.’

‘please know that you are my hope.’

‘there’s nothing special about me.’

‘do you know how much time and money i wasted on this?’

‘don’t you see the genius?’

‘your ignorance is staggering.’

‘it seems your skills have… diminished.’

‘sacrifices must be made! in the grand scheme of things, a few lives are nothing.’

‘give it up. it’s over.’

‘there’s no way out, is there?’

‘i’m not gonna leave your side.’

‘i guess this is it then.’

‘i feel better than i have in ages.’

‘thank god. i’m glad you’re okay.’

‘you’ll be back in action in no time.’

[misaentropy]

fyi for mutuals old and new: memes are the best way to get things started with me! we don't have to have any set up or have ever talked before, it's a beautiful way to let dynamics and ideas form organically and we can always turn meme replies into threads <3

[jamsmemes]

(     *     RESIDENT EVIL REQUIEM.

a selection of dialogue prompts from the game resident evil requiem. feel free to change pronouns / details as needed.

‘we found another body.’

‘perhaps it’s time for you to face the past? confront that fear head-on.’

‘i won’t force you to go, but do you think you can do this for me?’

‘there might be answers inside.’

‘why am i even here?’

‘you have been on that thing all day.’

‘we need to keep our voices down.’

‘tell me what’s going on.’

‘now is not the time. stay close.’

‘i’m calling the police!’

‘i’m so sorry. this is all my fault.’

‘i’m the one that brought you here.’

‘we have so much to do.’

‘you’ve got to be shitting me.’

‘don’t do anything stupid.’

‘someone help me!’

‘well, fuck. let’s make this quick.’

‘back to square one.’

‘we’re running out of time.’

‘you gotta stay calm.’

‘where the hell am i?’

‘don’t come any closer!’

‘what the hell was that thing?’

‘i’ll be fine. i hope.’

‘you can’t see, can you?’

‘why are you in there?’

‘who made a mess? why the mess?!’

‘what if i can’t get out?’

‘this might be useful.’

‘so loud… my head… keep it down!’

‘don’t fuck with me.’

‘it’s your fucking fault!’

‘give me a fucking break!’

‘you laughed at me!’

‘well, at least it’s easier to walk around now.’

‘come in. i won’t harm you.’

‘why did you kidnap me?’

‘it took forever to find you.’

‘you’re not like other people, you know. you’re quite… unique.’

‘there’s no escaping your destiny!’

‘did anyone hurt you?’

‘please, i really need your help.’

‘you handle this. i’ll handle… that.’

‘i thought that thing was dead!’

‘you’re an investigator, right? well, investigate.’

‘when was the last time you brushed your teeth?’

‘you are an ignorant fool.’

‘you’re a dead man walking!’

‘sorry, i was a little tied up.’

‘hope i’m not next.’

‘you felt that one, huh?’

‘sorry, but i’m not on the menu.’

‘you’re killing me.’

‘well, hey. at least we’re in it together, right?’

‘oh god, i really don’t wanna go in there.’

‘ugh, it got in my mouth…’

‘hold on tight!’

‘why’s it so loud?’

‘let’s play.’

‘here, i kept this safe for you.’

‘do you maybe… wanna leave with me?’

‘it’s not safe here.’

‘we need to keep moving, okay?’

‘it’s okay, we’re not infected.’

‘you don’t need to worry about me.’

‘are you lying to me?’

‘have you seen the same shit i’ve seen?!’

‘look, we’re out of options here.’

‘how much longer do you think any of us can survive?’

‘we can help each other.’

‘it’s a deal.’

‘found you.’

‘hello, gorgeous.’

‘i can’t stop the bleeding.’

‘hey, hey, look at me. we’re gonna be okay.’

‘i’m sorry. i know it hurts.’

‘i need to keep you safe.’

‘are you listening? i said stop!’

‘you feel lost, but you’re not. you’re exactly where you need to be.’

‘i’ve been waiting for you.’

‘i’ll just go it alone.’

‘we’re in this together. till the end.’

‘i’ve always been good at working in the shadows.’

‘just don’t do anything too risky, yeah?’

‘gonna have to find another way around.’

‘you’re a real pest, you know that?’

‘haven’t you had enough?’

‘looks like someone else was here first.’

‘guess the only way in is through then.’

‘looks like they left in a hurry.’

‘something’s missing.’

‘i’ll have to shoot it down.’

‘so the rumours were true.’

‘don’t be ridiculous.’

‘i thought i had a short fuse.’

‘don’t mind if i do.’

‘some things never change.’

‘watch your back.’

‘this is my lucky day.’

‘do you still think about what happened there?’

‘sorry. this isn’t the time, we need to focus.’

‘this day just keeps getting better and better.’

‘i don’t give up that easy.’

‘i’ve had enough of you!’

‘i know the feeling.’

‘should’ve worn a helmet.’

‘so many attempts. so many failures. such a waste.’

‘it’s past our bedtime.’

‘please just be a bad dream.’

‘what’s done is done. you need to focus on the future.’

‘i had a feeling you’d make an appearance.’

‘sorry, but i don’t have time to spare.’

‘i’m gonna do some digging.’

‘i guess this is my stop.’

‘this is one very deep hole.’

‘just so you know, i’ve killed every plant i ever had.’

‘i’m getting the feeling i’m not wanted around here.’

‘we finally meet.’

‘didn’t realise i had such a big fan. how about an autograph?’

‘worried about me? how sweet.’

‘sneaky bastard.’

‘coming from you, that’s quite the compliment.’

‘time to finally get some answers.’

‘don’t embarrass yourself. you can’t beat me.’

‘you still need me, right?’

‘me? feel like a million bucks.’

‘where does this take us?’

‘your guess is as good as mine.’

‘how long was i out?’

‘i couldn’t make a difference.’

‘i’m coming with you.’

‘i don’t want any more regrets.’

‘whatever it takes, count me in.’

‘if anything happens to me… you promise… you’ll end this.’

‘you think you can give me a boost?’

‘this is it. i did it.’

‘where have i seen this…?’

‘life takes unexpected turns, don’t you think?’

‘looking back, do you feel that the choices you’ve made have contributed to… your present circumstances?’

‘what you sow, you reap. isn’t that the natural order?’

‘what would you like the world to know?’

‘i’m not a young man. i don’t have the energy i once did.’

‘your body can’t take much more.’

‘i’m gonna settle this.’

‘haven’t changed much, have you?’

‘let’s get this over with.’

‘what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?’

‘humans cannot predict when death will come for them. this is why they have hope.’

‘i was wrong… and i am plagued by guilt.’

‘happiness cannot be achieved at the expense of others.’

‘i think that’s enough for today.’

‘aren’t you beautiful?’

‘is there anything else you’d like to tell me?’

‘i’ve said my piece. i only hope it serves as a requiem for those who have passed.’

‘this is finally my chance to do something.’

‘please wake up. come on, wake up.’

‘i was just resting my eyes.’

‘let me help you.’

‘i don’t know the password.’

‘i can buy you some time.’

‘fulfill your destiny, and all will be forgiven.’

‘at least… i could save you.’

‘please know that you are my hope.’

‘there’s nothing special about me.’

‘do you know how much time and money i wasted on this?’

‘don’t you see the genius?’

‘your ignorance is staggering.’

‘it seems your skills have… diminished.’

‘sacrifices must be made! in the grand scheme of things, a few lives are nothing.’

‘give it up. it’s over.’

‘there’s no way out, is there?’

‘i’m not gonna leave your side.’

‘i guess this is it then.’

‘i feel better than i have in ages.’

‘thank god. i’m glad you’re okay.’

‘you’ll be back in action in no time.’

[misaentropy]

well, i take it something happened. + to anarietta

The door opens with a creak, and Anarietta doesn't hesitate to throw the vase in her hand at it without looking to see who disturbs her. Her aim is off by a few inches, the porcelain splintering against the wall nearby and crashing to the floor, joining the countless other smashed glassware strewn across the room. Brynn doesn't flinch. The sheets have been torn from the bed and left in ribbons, mingling with the rest of the carnage the duchess has wrought in her temper.

Her chest heaves, the corsetry keeping her bosom aloft adding to the dramatic effect. Face flushed berry-red, hot tears running in streams across her cheeks, her usually pristinely arranged hair falling haphazardly around her. A sight all to familiar to the servants and courtiers in her company, and now becoming so to the witcher sporadically in her employ.

"Oh, really? How did you come to that conclusion? Did you deduce it with your magic mutant senses?" Anna asks through gritted teeth, painting a meek smile on her face before it descends back into it's previously furious expression. "Why yes, something did happen. What the fuck have you been doing all day? Why is a farmer claiming you used his very last sheep as bait for some horrid creature?!"

[misaentropy]

"try to sleep. i will keep the dreams away." / from eivor for sigurd

Try to sleep.

His eyes are dry and bloodshot, bereft of the light and life that once burned brightly in them. He would pluck them from his skull if he could. His beard is unkempt, as is his thick red braid, and the bear pelt that once framed his regal figure now hangs limply from his shoulders. It near swallows him, like a child wrapped in their father's cloak. His appetite has left him as well as his sleep, gone with the rest of him.

Sigurd humphs, a wordless acknowledgement of his sister's empty promise. There is no doubt that Eivor believes themself capable of any feat, of strength or wit or charm, and once he admired that confidence. Obstinate and arrogant in equal measure, his father had once lamented of the Wolf-Kissed, but it was never without merit. She could always back up her words with action. No man or beast could stand against her. But now they face an enemy that they cannot defeat - Sigurd's own mind.

The village has long since settled into slumber, save for a handful of guards on patrol, his sister and himself. In the hall beyond his chamber, a chorus of snores rises from those that could not drag themselves from their seats, tankards still in hand. The symphony would have once filled his heart with pride, to know how content his people were. Now it just irritates him, reminds him of the idleness that surrounds him - the lack of ambition, the absence of the same thirst for knowledge that drives him still. No one understands it. Not even his beserkir, his loyal warrior, his chosen sister. He is alone in his divinity. It's a lonesome thought.

I will keep the dreams away.

He lays flat in his cot at first, watching the concerned contorting of Eivor's scarred face, and idly wonders if he should feel something in response. Apologetic, embarrassed, grateful? Some emotion that should stir within him, to be shown so much care and worry. The emptiness fascinates him. Another thought to muse on, when sleep refuses to take him. After a while, he silently rolls away from her, curling his body tightly, his chin nearly resting on his knees with his arm wrapped around them. He listens to Eivor settle onto the floor beside him, then to the change of her breathing as she succumbs to sleep. The rhythm slowly begins to lull the tempest of his mind, quiet the god that claws at his thoughts. Sigurd drifts off gently, for the first time in days. When he wakes in the early hours, his loyal drengr is still sound asleep at his side, snoring gently.

A MEME I'M TOO LAZY TO LINK.

[misaempty]

red priestesses should have suspiria vibes. channelling magic and energy and power through movement. sisterhood but also a fierce, unspoken competition between them. they dance naked around bonfires and paint runes on each other's skin in soot and blood. there is a silent war amongst them to prove who is the most devout, the most powerful. melisandre as the Mother, as she, or rather as the vessel for that being, hidden amongst her peers to gather strength and understanding and to grow so far beyond herself, beyond comprehension. life is chaos and chaos brews beneath her ribs… she is a vessel for their god but that power will most certainly consume her eventually and she will cease to be melisandre anymore. she becomes so much more.

[saturnisaturnip]

I’ve been very low energy lately but Ranni is comforting to draw 🌕🌌

[notmorbid]

the between.

dialogue prompts from the between by tananarive due.

may have had a fainting spell, is all.

i hope _____ didn't send you into a fright.

you gotta go, right?

this is better than i thought it could get for me.

you remind me of my ____.

you don't give up, do you?

'uh-oh' is an understatement.

i've noticed you around. can i get you a drink?

try to be yourself. i'll like you better that way.

you're checking up on me?

if we can't do better than this, we can't be together.

what happened? did we fall out of love?

i got a letter. some kind of threat.

i still haven't decided whether or not i believe in god.

i feel farther from god than ever.

what gave you the right to do that?

that took guts. i'm proud of what you did.

sunday drivers are the worst.

try to sleep. i'll keep the dreams away.

i used to have bad dreams, too.

it's best not to search for something you're unprepared to find.

i wonder if some souls aren't born doomed to misery.

you can't save the world all by yourself.

you're wearing some mean bags under your eyes.

only my friends call me _____.

i see you getting misty over there.

no secrets, remember?

you're not going to talk to me about sex, are you?

i didn't mean to grow up so fast. it just happened like that.

i just didn't want to confront it. that's why i made a joke of it.

people can find you if they really want to. i don't have to tell you that.

we're always closest to death when we're asleep.

i guess it's human nature to run away from death.

don't live your life hurting over me. just live.

how many times do you think you can die?

there's no peace where you're at.

why is this happening now?

i love you more than this world, [name].

i don't need help. i'm fine. i'm cool.

i still have some ethics left.

i'm crazy, not stupid.

go to sleep. morning washes everything fresh.

i believe in things i see.

i don't have to go on. do you want the rest?

you're a real smartass, aren't you?

i don't take chances with my family.

if i'm sick, you made me that way.

you know better than to walk up behind me like that.

everybody has to let go sometime.

anything to keep busy.

this isn't real. this is just a dream.

grief is a monster many people lose their lives to.

whatever you need me for, i'm here.

a good friend is not necessarily a good therapist.

you never see what's closest to you.

i knew you'd never leave me.

i won't pass messages. don't put me in the middle.

you look like a model, not a _______.

how much do you know about what i do?

everybody has different superstitions about death.

dreams are where we face our mortality.

just keep on fibbing. it'll come back to haunt you, one day.

keep your eyes focused on me.

nothing will be like it was before, will it?

everything always becomes different, in the end. but different doesn't mean bad. just different.

i can't make promises about the future. nobody can. you know that, right?

you sound funny. are you sure you're okay?

you alone control the events of this moment.

maybe i'm not real at all.

[misaentropy]

theoretically. how receptive would folks be to me randomly reaching out with plotting/dynamic ideas. like are you going to see me in your ims with my hands wide open and be stoked or is that too much pressure (there is zero expectation for engagement if you don't vibe btw)

[misaentropy]

man... I haven't finished fallout 4 yet but I can already see where things are going and let me tell you, my sole survivor is having a Bad Time (absolute garbled thought dump below)

like may having to literally claw her way through the commonwealth, unrecognisable from the place she knew, knowing her husband is dead and her son could be too, only to discover that her sweet baby is now a 60+ year old man that freaking DYING and not only that, but he's been brainwashed by an underground megalab???? and all she's heard since she's woken up is how evil the institute is. And she's SEEN it- she's incredibly sympathetic to synths and the prejudice they face...

But that's her son thats running it. Her son who is older than his father ever was. Who looks and sounds just like him but has hints of her own blood too. Her son who is asking her to stand by his side and after all, isn't that what she fought so hard for? Why does she feel torn between her flesh and blood (presumably, I'm personally not convinced that 'father' isnt a synth too) and people she's barely known? BUT THEN I think that it takes her at least a year, maybe two to get to the institute. Which means she's spent more time with her friends and allies than she spent with her boy.

I don't know that may could make a decisive decision. I don't know that she could pick between her son and the institute, and the railroad and her companions. I think that instead she'd choose to just... walk away. Let things play out without her involvement. Take dogmeat and whoever else wants to join them and take off across the wasteland. Go somewhere far enough away that she'll never hear about what happened after. Maybe she'll turn into someone and something entirely unrecognisable from who she was, if that hasn't happened already.

[maskend]

"What's it to me?" Aiden repeats quietly, his voice lacking the fire of their earlier argument. There is simply dejection, humiliated in the reminder that they are not partners, and by the rejection of his concern. "You storm off, come back hours later smelling like hooch, and expect me not to say anything?"

He looks down at Lambert, at the marks of age on his face, the ashy brown hair and the narrow, golden eyes he's grown so fond of over the last few months. And he cannot help but wonder what Lambert sees when he looks at him. If he wrestles with the fact that Aiden is a man, or that he is a witcher, or a cat, or simply a person who cares for him. This joy in his chest is unsteady, wavering in the face of Lambert's mood swings.

He shakes his head and scoffs, throws his blanket on the ground, and finally sits down across from Lambert. They both know the fire's too high, but Aiden can't bring himself to care. He picks through the few things the other brought from his trip without paying it any real mind. What he was looking for isn't there, anyway. Would be too much to ask for Lambert to let Aiden drown his sorrows, too. All he has, then, is the cold pang of dread in his chest. It gives him the push to ask the question that haunted the silence in Lambert's absence.

"Do you regret what we did?"

[misaentropy]

If he were a good man, perhaps it would be easier to untangle the fears and agonies that beset him. If he were a man at all, and not a carefully designed machine that was taught only to kill, not to feel.

They claim that the mutations destroy the ability for witchers to have emotions, but that's never been the case as far as Lambert could tell. They make you feel everything more acutely. It's the training that drowns whatever was human about them, reminding them time and time again that their purpose doesn't have room for friendship, for love, for anything other than slaying monsters and staying alive. Old Vesemir was far from the most brutal master in the history of the wolf school, but the lessons of their forefathers still had to be drilled into the youngsters so that they'd never be able to forget them.

It's not that he can't or doesn't feel. It's that he's never been taught the words for the fire in his chest, never been told what to do with it. And sometimes, like now, it roars to life and becomes and monster all of it's own.

" Does the world revolve around you or something? " He remarks coldly, his lips a tight line on his already strained face. Lambert dodges the question the best way he knows how- deflecting it clumsily, sparring with a tongue that feels like a lead weight in his mouth. " You're a good fuck, if that's what you want to hear. I'd do it again. "

It's the truth, in crude wording. He can't explain it and wouldn't even if he could, but for the first time he feels like he's not just going through the motions. He's not just travelling with Aiden because it's convenient, not sharing a bed-roll just because it's practical, not just letting the cat get into his trousers because it's easy. It's because he wants to. And that want is terrifying.