Daydreaming in Spring

Sharing the untold stories from my own little world

[mischaheaven]

Shen’s Corner—

Yay! Here’s Mischa Heaven’s latest character design and wardrobe pt.1.

For those who don’t know and are new here, Mischa Heaven is my D-Gray Man OC. She is also one of the main characters in my DGM Fanfic <Inkheart Archives> which is set two years before canon DGM.

This is like a combination of past designs I had for her, so I am…

…very pleased to say that I had finally decided on certain things about her character design. I am posting this in the middle of the night so, I might not be able to say much about them. (I’ll be posting a separate post on my art sideblog where I’ll be talking about them in details, like why and how I came up with the design. It’ll take some time since I still have a lot of pending on my art blog). Ignore the small notes and inconsistent colors my eyes are tired ;-;

(Also, this is just me getting too excited whenever I finish a new art, so please, excuse me. I am 100% sure I will update this with a cleaner one in the future)

I’ve also finally digitalized the different forms of her Innocence and included it here though, I am planning to post about them separately once I finalized Sonata Tabula and Falchion’s design (I’m struggling with drawing Falchion, helppp).

—WARDROBE pt.1 Notes—

I - usually worn on extensive field works that include site excavation and ruin exploration, but not when she’s stepping into holy grounds like church ruins, graveyards, etc. Often worn during summer and as an inner outfit for II and IV. As the story progresses, she’ll be comfortable to wear it on casual days, too. (Ignore the note about non-archiving gig, I forgot why I wrote that.)

II - usually worn on her usual archiving gigs at libraries, archives, holy grounds, etc. This is her usual clothes during the time she was “suspended” as an exorcist from the Black Order. (This is what she was wearing in the Hidden Archive mission in Night 01.)

III - her usual outfit when in the Black Order HQ. (This is what she was wearing in Night 01 when Lavi and Bookman first entered the Order.)

IV - her standard exorcist uniform received after she came back to the Order (after Night 01).

As you can see, her hairstyle also changes sometimes! That is all possible because of Lenalee, who loves styling her hair! It’s their usual bonding time outside of training and missions. After some time, when Mischa gets used to being annoyed super comfortable with Lavi, she also lets him braid her hair.

These might still change in the future, and I am still planning to add more of her outfits (and details about them). So, keep an eye out for updates hehe

Note: Please do not re-upload/use my art without permission

[mischaheaven]

The Order knows her as a ghost scribe. The Science Division calls her a myth ink. To most, she's just a name on old parchment—if they remember her at all.

Meant to stay forgotten. A footnote in someone else's war.

Then, came a boy who wasn't supposed to ask questions. A Bookman-in-training who should've written her out. But instead... stayed.

Mischa Heaven was the story no one dared to read.

And he… was the one fool who turned the pages.

Now echoes stir in the Order's walls. Blood sings in the margins. A forgotten covenant and a girl who was never meant to be remembered might be the one story they can't afford to erase.

 

This is a tale of memory, of myth, of ink, and the fragile ache of almost and might-have-beens.

 

Read at your own risk.

But if you do—please remember her right.

Inkheart Archives

This is a fanfiction based on D.Gray man by Hoshino Katsura-sensei. This ongoing project centers around the love of my life, Lavi and one of my very first original characters: Mischa Heaven—an Archivist, Heretic, and survivor of forgotten histories. Most of the events in this fic take place primarily around two years before the main canon events, though it may reference characters and moments from the latest manga chapters that anime-only viewers may not be familiar with, some scenes referenced might be an spoiler but not too much, I think, anyway let’s enjoy this journey together!

As of writing there are at least 37 chapters uploaded on ao3. I try to update at least once a week, but I’ve been busy recently as new workloads were assigned to me. So, updates re really slow right now. Sorry in advance.

I tried doing these manga panels and realized how difficult it is to change stuffs depending on the media form. I might do more panels from each chapters some day, but just some scenes I can and wanted to draw. I’m still really inconsistent with my style, so this will also be a practice for me. Backgrounds are also so difficult ugh…

Read Inkheart Archives now!

[starg0ld]

[lazyshennie]

Yuu & Alma <What if>

What if... What if their world is a better place, and Alma didn't have to die? What if he's still with Yuu and they lived happily ever after ;-;

This was supposed to be the Alma (akuma? version, but I decided to turn him into an exorcist halfway through.

Date Finished: 220118 Medium: Medibang Paint

[mischaheaven]

What if... we meet again in a different situation?

Will you still look at me the same way you looked at me now?

Will you still hold me tight in your embrace?

Will you still recognize me?

Will you still love me?

Will you still...

Will Yuu...

Yuu...

[mischaheaven]

“You’re too young to flirt with death.”

“Don’t say that,” he said, brows furrowed. “And I’m not that young.”

She finally looked back at him, “You can’t be older than twenty.”

“I might be, but I’ve already outlived forty-eight wars. Outlived forty-eight lives before this one,” He grinned. “Not that young, experience-wise,” he tried to lighten up.

“Uh-huh,” Mischa blinked, then smiled—not the usual teasing one, but something slower, sadder. “And how many of those were happy?”

He looked up at the sky, where the lanterns rose like prayers.

“Ask me again when this one ends.” 

“You—” she stopped as she watched his features soften under the lights.

…

 

Lavi chuckled, looping his scarf gently around her neck. His fingers brushed her collar, just enough to make her breath hitch. The scarf still carried his warmth, faintly scented of cedar smoke and paper ink.

 

 

“Lavi—”

“Don’t argue,” he said quietly, adjusting it. “It’s not a fight you could win.”

 

She looked up at him then, their faces a few breaths apart, the faintest of a smirk tugged at her lips.

“You really are dangerous.” 

“Why is that?”

“You keep making me feel things I shouldn’t.”

 

Lavi’s hand paused. His eye met hers. Their breaths caught not from cold but from a shared ache neither of them could quite name.

 

“Then, we match,” Lavi replied, barely above a whisper.

Inkheart Archives | Night 27: What We Borrowed from that Night

 

 Shen’s Notes:

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

I was trying to make this look like POV shots, IDK if it looked like what I intended to but I’m happy it came out decent!

A deleted, behind-the-scene will be drawn soon to! I hope you’ll look forward to it. 😂

Here’s clean (no-speech bubbles) version of the photos :3

So, yeah! Lavi’s POV and Mischa’s POV.

And yes, Lavi is huge but a soft rabbit in Mischa’s eyes haha

[mischaheaven]

“Here’s to the witness that never faltered.

Days will come, the history you’ve once recorded,

Won’t fall into oblivion, but faithfully remembered.

You’ve left not just inheritance,

But also scribes that will keep their importance.

Your legacy, a treasure we won’t let to corrode,

Nor something that we would try to rewrite.

So, worry not, rest—the future is now ours to walk.

Just so you know, this quill is grateful you actually trusted me too.

But…

You do know this quill will never be silenced,

It might write along the records’ margins, notes in red…

Rest assured it will still keep its promise—never let the record break.

For if he breaks, the world shall kneel on his wake.

And on his wake, the world might drown in ink without hesitation.

Apologies in advance, for what I might do.

I might be selfish again, keep him with everything I have.

Shall it break my promise—

—or myself in the process.”

— M.H.

[mischaheaven]

I’m late, but….

Happy Halloween!

I dressed up as a witch this year. How do I look like? Pretty fine, aren’t I? I saw Lavi walking by the halls today. He has this cute ears and fluffy tails, I really wanted to touch them. He kinda look like a butler but sexier cuter. Then, I asked him if I could touch his tail and he suddenly blushed in 50 shades of red, oh so flustered. Did I do anything wrong? I just wanted to experience the fluffiness of his tail though 🤭

Read Inkheart Archives!

Here’s cat!Lavi and witch!Mischa for this year. I’m so worried because it’s been a long while since I last drew I hope the colors turned out well (it looks fine on my screen but it might be too red on other’s lmao). I really want to add more details but my eyes already hurt so, this is it! Haha!

Translation (from top, right to left):

M: Lavi’s tail is so fluffy. I wanna touch it~

M: “Lavi!”

M: “Your tail… can I touch it?”

L: “Well~”

L: “It’s okay.”

M: “Really?!” Yay!

M: Oh, what a good boy.

L: Damn—she’s too close.

L: I can see everything. ( O///O )

[[ Pose base used ]]

[mischaheaven]

Happy birthday, Lavi!

How many years had past since we first met? I don’t remember anymore.

I stopped looking at the past because you are now my present, my future.

And I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you!

Let’s celebrate your birthdays together every year, okay?

(Don’t tell the old man we’re going on a date today! I’m skipping the archives today just for you!)

[mischaheaven]

Inkheart Archives [Beta]

Chapters: planning to have 40-50 chapters (may still change though hehe), currently have 25 chapters in drafts

Language: English

Relationships: Lavi / Mischa Heaven (OC)

Characters: Lavi, Mischa Heaven (OC), Bookman, Cross Marian, Lenalee Lee, Komui Lee, Falchion (OC), Kanda Yuu, Reever Wenham, Johnny Gill, Tup, Hevlaska, plus other characters and OCs

Genre: Same as DGM, with angst, slow burn, mystery, tragedy and more

Updates: Once a week, usually on weekends

Read it here: AO3

Summary:

Mischa Heaven wanders the world rewriting lost truths in ink and silence. But when her path crosses with Lavi—the boy who was never meant to remember her—memories stir, curses awaken, and blood-stained past begins to burn through the present.

This is a story written across many nights, a tale that takes time to breathe, and even longer to forget.

The beginning of a lorng journey.

Greetings, everyone!

I know no one knows me here (LOL), but I have returned with a new story featuring the love of my life, Lavi from D-Gray Man! It’s been a while since I wrote something, so I hope someone out there will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

Also, this is my first time using AO3, so I’m still getting used to it. I would really appreciate comments. I feel like there aren’t many people who know DGM nowadays :’)

The story takes place two years before the canon DGM timeline. Just around the time Lavi and Bookman joined the Black Order but might mention past Lavis as well. This will mainly focus on Lavi and me Mischa Heaven, one of my very first OCs.

[mischaheaven]

“I am now bleeding myself into existence,

In a world that drained me to nothingness.

This is my gospel, my defiance, my truth unburied.

Once a muted soul, now inked in sacred red.”

— M.H

[mischaheaven]

Tomorrow? Afterthoughts...

I've always been very picky about which K-dramas to watch. Honestly speaking, I have a bunch of K-dramas that I didn't finish and I guess it boils down to what the genre is and what it is about. I do enjoy a tiny bit of romance here and there but sometimes it's just way too overboard for me which makes me drop the drama halfway. I had genuinely enjoyed some but most of the endings slightly disappointed me.

I'm a sucker for angst and bad endings, that's it! But that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy good endings. It's just that sometimes there are good endings that came out of nowhere and are just simply unbelievable. Regardless of being fiction or not, some plots don't justify the ending and weren't wrapped up well... and that's disappointing for me who had invested time in watching it.

(Trigger warning. Read at your own discretion)

I am carefully threading on a fragile glass floor while writing this. As Tomorrow isn't the typical webtoon-turned-K-drama that you can simply recommend to everyone just because it's so good.

Like what I have said when we're halfway through the drama, I don't recommend it for people who are weak-hearted and those who are easily triggered (or have a tendency to do self-harm). If you have this thought at the back of your head and still want to watch the drama, please do take your time to breathe and pause when it's getting overboard. The redemption parts are great and it teaches a lot of lessons but they can also trigger dangerous thoughts for some people.

Personally, I feel so weak whenever I watch this drama. My limbs are shaking whenever I can relate to the Risk Case who is on the verge of committing suicide. As if a blade was running down my wrist. I am deep in thoughts whenever Goo Ryeon is talking with the Risk Cases, it was as if she was talking to me! Heol!

What is the meaning of life? Was it really wrong to take your own life? Do I really have to think of other people when I want to die? Can't I just do it for myself? Do I have to care for the people I will leave behind? Why is it a sin to escape from this world? What pushes me to have these suicidal thoughts?

But nevertheless, the drama didn't disappoint until the end. I had recently started reading the webtoon and I can say that the writers did really well in re-imagining and creating new connections between the characters. It seems that they really had worked so hard together with Llama (Webtoon Creator) for this.

The Series was composed of independent Risk Cases that may vary from bullying, depression, sexual abuse, and more. My favorite risk arcs would be "A Soul Becomes a Star", "Spring" and "West Sky"... but dude, I love all of the stories! I can't forget how "Breath" ended too! It was so satisfying! Justice is served!

I also love how the story was slowly built and how they dropped hints about the connections of the characters. Even though it was slowly getting obvious, the build-up of tension was really good to keep me on the edge. I was honestly worried about how the pacing went for the final arc (I was scared I might be left hanging with a lot of questions) but the final episode proved to me otherwise that the timing is perfect enough to conclude their story. It was such a bummer and I would have loved to see the trio saving more people together but the series was cleanly wrapped-up, with no loose ends, and I can't say more. I am satisfied with how it went, the dropping of details is just that awesome. I can remember having goosebumps over these little details while watching the finale: Threads of Fate.

It was heart-wrenching but I can't help but smile through the episode even though it's ending already. I will definitely give Junwoong's character development an A++! I can't forget how the Risk Management Team warmed up to each other. They're so awesome! Goo Ryeon, Lim Ryunggu, and Choi Junwoong are one of the best trios I've ever seen! Would've loved it if Junggil was put on the team as a punishment though. Haha!

I will be continuing with the webtoon, to see more of the difference. I'm currently in "Forest of Time" and I can say that this webtoon is worth reading as well. It just hits differently as it has some scenes and dialogues that weren't included in the drama, and vice versa. I believe that consuming it in different media will give me additional experience, appreciation, and understanding of life in general. 🖤

Rating this Drama 11/10!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

P.S. I am so in love with Manager Lim T_T Must protect!

[mischaheaven]

Standing for the what?!

Politics has been a heated topic in the Philippines for months. With a large amount of historical whitewashing, misinformation, and disinformation... a lot of people varying from professionals to students alike have expressed their disappointments in various ways.

I've never been a fan of arguments especially those that are about politics, looking back, I tend to laugh at how stupid some distant relatives are for being prideful about election wins and losses. I didn't understand why people tend to cut ties with others during these seasons until I witnessed it myself. I just don't know if we have the same reason though...

The disappointment of witnessing the family and mentors who taught you to be empathetic, the ones who told you to be kind-hearted, honest, and all... seeing them succumb themselves to lies and stealing had me questioning the lessons and values that I have learned from them.

Most sins for me are considered "stealing" or "robbing". You lied? You stole someone's right to know the truth. You didn't listen? You stole someone's chance to prove themself. You're late? You stole someone's precious time. You k!lled? You stole someone's life. Etc.

Should I turn a blind eye? Should I defend the lies? What is expected of me? What should I give importance to? The truth? The kinship? The friendship? I hate awkward atmospheres, I hate putting camaraderie at risk. I hate invalidating others' opinions even if it's in the wrong.

Every opposition I make is suicide to me.

Even in my long stint as a K-pop fan, I was cautious about whatever I tweeted. Not because I am afraid of being canceled but because I am worried that I might invalidate others' feelings. I have a lot of moments drowning in a lot of thoughts and in the end, I have a lot of personal rants in my drafts that didn't even see the light of the day.

What do I do if my belief and pride are the ones being questioned? I sit still not moving an inch. Drowning in silence, gaslighting myself. Am I right? Is my belief the right thing to push in this argument? What if I am wrong? What if I am just overreacting?

But what made me stand for my point this time?

It wasn't about me, it was about the kids and their disappointments. This is a topic hitting close to home. I already failed to protect 6 dreams and hopes, and I won't let thousands of them meet the same fate. 2020 was difficult because I don't personally know the kids I am protecting but this time, they are close to me. I know their disappointments, I know their laments. I know why they had said those words... the last thing I could do is support them and let them know that their feelings are valid. They know what they're risking in voicing out their disappointments, they know who they can offend but they never backed out to express and let others know the truth.

Are they too aggressive? They are! But if they didn't, who would listen to them? Most old people point at them with humiliation, ridiculing them for being too young and acting know-it-all. You can't just blame them for raising their foreheads to fight the widespread misinformation, disinformation, and revisionism in the country. They had learned their lessons, they saw people they trust fall for these lies, and they will not sit still knowing their future and their rights are at stake here.

They don't need someone to tell them to move on, trust me, they will and they can do that in their own time. We have our own coping mechanisms, unique to each individual. If you have already moved on then good for you! What they need now are people who will tell them that their disappointments, their grief, their sadness, and their feelings are all valid.

So, if you know someone (whatever generation they are from) who is sad, disappointed, or angry for the results of the election... don't mock them, don't make fun of them, don't be angry with them. Empathize, know where they are coming from, stand on their shoes, listen and understand them. Hug them... that's what they need the most right now.

Don't let them feel as if it wasn't their right. Don't tell them they are too young for this... Don't stop them.

Don't silence the youth.

[mischaheaven]

Writing a story has never been so easy. So as letting go of a couple that has been with me since early 2014 (or late 2013). Charlie and Keith had been through a lot (in my head). Lots of scenes played in my imagination yet most of them were never translated well into words.

I still have a lot of plans, a lot of regrets, and a lot of room for improvement. Honestly, this story never had a detailed outline… I just wrote depending on my instinct or should I say… what I feel. Nothing was ever planned except for the fact that the two had to face a breakup. The ending somewhat feels rushed, now, that I had read it for the nth time… it feels like it was written with no direction but I certainly feel accomplished and regretful at the same time. If only I can smoothly write what was running in my mind…

But nevertheless, this series (Turning Points) is a craft that I am really proud of and these are characters I love so much despite having no actual development(?). 😅 I'm not sure, maybe I was so used to seeing and writing about them that I can't see the character development that they had lmao.

It has been a tough ride, writing their ending wasn't an easy feat. I didn't have any romantic love experience, I only learned from books and movies. I didn't know what it actually feels like, and if their love is actually great or not. I guess I have to leave it to the readers' judgment for I am just a hopeless romantic who dreams of characters having the best love of their lifetimes.

Best wishes to Charlie and Keith even though… this is just a commitment wedding, we'll see each other again after Charlie had given birth (for your civil wedding) and in five years (for your grand church wedding 🥳)…

Story timeline-wise that should be in 2024. 😊

Turning Points: Our Way Back Home Completed: 042822 Illustration by: Lazyshennie Read here: Book 1 Book 2

[mischaheaven]

Hey

Hey there! I hope that you are not being too hard on yourself now. You might be thinking of quitting now but let me tell you, it's just the spur of the moment. Take a rest and come back again tomorrow.