Sleepless.

26. she/her. demi. This blog is as much of a disaster as I am.

[thisfeebleheart]

You think we need to talk? No, after.

[dappermouth]

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

[thememedaddy]

[misfaemy]

It is soo weird submerging myself back into internet and fandom culture after so many years being away from it.

Like everyone is writing fanfic on their phones now? Like okay I guess that makes sense. But 250k words on a phone!?

But now!! I just learned that they’re connecting Bluetooth keyboards TO THEIR PHONES?

Or maybe I misunderstand.

But each new thing I learn about how people experience the internet these days truly blows my mind.

[hockeyfinches]

i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanov’s permission…? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. “what if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like “hollander……..you saved my life 🥺” and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldn’t fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each other’s arms afterwards. because there’s only one bed in my apartment and he’s too tall for the couch” stuff like that. normal fantasies

[hockeyfinches]

top ten shane hollander shower fantasies:

• holding ilya’s hand while they cross a busy street full of hazards (potholes, roadworks, etc)

• rescuing ilya from kidnappers (he kicks down the door)

• rescuing ilya from a burning building (bridal carry)

• fighting in a gladiatorial ice hockey arena for ilya’s hand in marriage

• massaging ilya’s bad knee and ilya says with wonderment “wowww wow. shane you’re so good at this… you are better than every physical therapist on earth probably”

• saying “he asked for no pickles” to the mcdonalds cashier

• carrying ilya’s bags

• washing ilya’s hair

• applying o’keefes working hands cream to ilya’s calluses

• fuck or die

[hockeyfinches]

[noelledeltarune]

okay that was not my last straw but i have maybe 3 to 4 straws left at most so watch out.

[eroscestlavie]

I need to stop replying to “how do you make friends in your 30s?” threads because all my answers boil down to “you have to want to know people instead of have friends” and I don’t think people wanna hear that

[eroscestlavie]

It’s like. People can tell if you don’t really like or connect with them. If you aren’t truly enamored with someone you will have a hard time coming up with activities to do together to deepen the friendship. Because you don’t really like that person that much.

[batsnacks]

Ice cream🍦

[blended-ice]

Stammi Vicino outfit swap, but I swap the pre-duetto versions out of self indulgence. Happy 5th anniversary <3

[maxxie-or-smth]

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

[dogpuppy]

[ilyannarozanova]

If Ilya and Shane actually wrestled like no holds barred to the death full competition mode rough and tumble fighting, I think most of the time Shane would win. Shane is used to Ilya throwing him around and pinning him down, but Ilya gets tossed to the ground once and gets so turned on he passes out. Shane yells at him and pins him and he just gives up because he's so horny he cannot actually think. Their friends are like oh my god Shane you're hurting him! And Ilya is lying there under him so so so pleased like yayyyy I love being pinned by my huge sexy jock boyfriend #mysexyjockboyfriend DO NOT SAVE HIM he is exactly where he wants to be!!

[haveyouheardof70dollars]

I believe #inmyheart that ‘which one of them is stronger’ changes throughout the season, but they never know when exactly it’s going to flip, and I think this adds extra fun to their wrestling

[gaynehollander]

Sometimes I think about the fact that almost every single person who found out about Shane and Ilya felt the need to ask Shane "him? really? he's the one you want to be with?"

I think about how Ilya has had to make his way through life mostly on his own since he was twelve years old, about the, how he moved to a new country as a teenager and was immediately thrust in front of a camera without knowing the language or how to cope with his newfound fame. I think about the preconceived notions of Russians and how, in the absence of being able to accurately communicate (both because of the language barrier and his repressive upbringing), Ilya decided to or was forced to lean into that stereotype. I think about how soft Ilya allows himself to be with Shane, about how he takes care of him, about how silly and goofy he can be, how he's sometimes just a grown kid, how other times he's the only person who can shut Shane's brain of. I think about how kind he is, how caring, how deeply he feels, how incredibly empathetic he is. I think about how wildly Shane loves him. How there literally never could have been anyone else. I think about how incredibly hurtful it is that no one trusts Shane to make his own decisions about his own fucking life and how much it hurts seeing the coldness the world regards his partner with. I think about Shane getting home and walking straight into Ilya's arms, after having to (once again) justify his love for the best man he's ever known, allowing himself to take comfort in his warm embrace, even when it feels to Shane like he should be the one providing both comfort and shelter.

I think about the surety Shane would feel when thinking to himself, "yes. Him. No one else."

[misfaemy]

Lmfao I’m so dumb

I read this frat boy au where Ilya makes such a big deal about being the one to take Shane’s virginity, and he’s an absolute sweetheart about the whole thing. But like Ilya still is a fuckboy around campus. And obviously this is canon activities but it made me so sad because they’re on the same campus so like they should immediately be together-together.

But I’m sitting here hours later half-thinking about it while lm at work and my brain goes “damn that would really suck to have such an amazing guy take your virginity and know he’s still out there fucking everyone”.

And then I was like “WAIT. It DID suck. And it WAS a lil traumatizing. Because that’s what happened with me!!” And then my brain clocked into this thought process a bit more and I was like “jfc I’m so dumb this is literally the whole reason why I’m so fucking addicted to this series because all the canon events (aside from the gay) were literally my life.”

[thememedaddy]

[peachfromcmbyn]

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

[waskitty]

i’m so glad i’ve never gotten over anything in my life it makes listening to music so fun