f e a r is my ally

flan, she/her, fandom old; i mostly obsess / hyperfixate over things ; current: heated rivalry; interview with the vampire ; dune {feydpaul}, critical role ; jujutsu kaisen {satosugu}; star wars {maul}; always: naruto/sasuke, tony/steve

[youbitehard]

heated rivalry fics masterpost

separated in sections: chaptered, especifically freak4freak one shots, and other one shots. There are even a couple with T rating, incredible.

chaptered

heart eyes, captain (e,16k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon compliant (situationship/hr/tlg). 5+1 valentine's days, Dom/sub, hurt/comfort

Ilya is very unlucky on Valentine's Day, until he isn’t. From ’16 to ‘22, five Valentine’s days that do not work out for Ilya, and where and with whom he spends them; and one that it does.

we swim in nowhere (e, 24k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon divergence (tlg era). Grief/Mourning. Homesickness.

February 2021. After deciding they are getting married in summer, Shane proposes to accompany Ilya in a last trip to Moscow to get much needed closure. Hand in hand they navigate old friends, memories, and family that had been left behind.

character study through kink focused

for the road ahead (e, 6k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon compliant (cottage), subdrop, character study

During their time in the cottage, Shane and Ilya have to face how they treated each other in the past

it waits for you in the shadows (e, 9k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon compliant (situationship era), domdrop, character study

Saying no to Hollander should be easy. But of course, Ilya doesn’t want to. It doesn’t matter that it is not good for any of them

on behalf of the good dark (e, 6k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon compliant (post hr epilogue). Dom/sub, under-negotiated kink.

A disastrous dinner with Hayden leaves Ilya insecure and hurt. It's Shane's job to pick up the pieces and remind Ilya who he is.

as if light were protective (e, 10k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon compliant (tlg era). home invasion, cnc.

Shane is not aware of how far would Ilya go so he has everything he could even dream about. Shane just has to ask and Ilya would move the goddamned moon from his axis to get him happy.  Even if that happiness involves him breaking and entering their home. 

nothing but a one-man cult (e, 7k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon compliant (situationship era). dom/sub, orgasm edging, ball-gags, dom drop.

By now and after all this time, he can only partially ascertain the nooks and crannies of Hollander's absurdly intricate mind. He likes routine and order; he doesn't like when they change the rules, especially if it comes unannounced, or from Ilya. Or both. He has no issues breaking his own, as long as it works for him. But he doesn't do that a lot, either. Only when Ilya gets him good, desperate, when he kisses him as if the fucking world would end if they don't, does Hollander forget about rules.

do it for the algorithm (e,18k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon compliant (post tlg). lingerie ilya, dom bottom ilya, deconstruction of masculinity, internalized homophobia.

"I didn't jerk off to him. I didn't even get hard at him." Ilya scoffs. "You saw me. I didn't check his face, did I? It's easier when I can't see the face." Shane's thumb is still on his nipple and is joined by the index; Ilya's breath hitches. "What's easier?" Shane slides down from the sunbed. "Well. Imagining he's you, of course."

Ilya discovers his limits and decides they are not strong enough to stop him from giving Shane Hollander exactly what he wants. -- Or, the fic where Ilya service tops so hard he ends up bottoming.

other one-shots

old habits die hard (t, 1k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon compliant (post tlg), humor, fluff, crack.

Shane is on the road during his first year on the Centaurs. Being on the same team as his secret boyfriend goes exactly as you would expect.

left behind (t, 3k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon divergence, cliff + ilya friendship, cliff`+ shane friendship.

Cliff and Shane have an enlightening conversation. Shane might need to kill Ilya afterward.

like spilled oil (e, 2k) (tumblr post)

warnings (more inside): canon compliant (rose era), masturbation, self-deprecation

When he's with Rose, Shane finds the t-shirt he brought back from Ilya's house.

[simplysebby]

getting new followers and especially a new mutual is so scary i gotta hit reblog extra good for a bit as to not scare them off

[nomeki]

[lucylehane]

this one goes out to everyone old enough to be watching heated rivalry like 🤩😅🤤😬

[grabmyboner]

criminal ilya x criminal defence attorney shane… what do we think

[themoonandmyman]

[bugslibraryy]

Sleepy sex hollanov I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ilya and shane zonked out napping on the couch tangled up in each other, it’s post training and its storming outside, a freezing crappy weather winter day. They’d had showers, eaten in tired silence, and dragged their exhausted bodies to the couch after in sweats with damp hair and the plush blanket stolen off their bed. They are tangled up, bodies warm and heavy, the only light coming from the grey clouded sky making the colours of the room muted, like the haze of an early morning.

Shane wakes up first, a soft sound in the back of his throat and scrunch of his nose as he floats back into consciousness. He flexes his fingers and licks his lips before blinking one eye half open. Ilya is a hot heavy weight on him, his curls are pressed to Shane’s mouth and tickling under his nose. Shane tilts his chin to look down over Ilya over him, the blanket a mess around their hips. Shane drags his hand down the length of Ilya’s handsome back, finds the hem of his jumper and shoves his hand up under it, greedy to touch skin.

Shane sighs heavily and snacks his lips, splutters out a curl of Ilya’s from between his lips and presses his nose into Ilya’s hairline. He maybe drifts into sleep again, goes a little fuzzy and heavy and wakes with a small jolt in that weird half waking state. Shane exhales slow through his nose when he wakes again, Ilya still heavy and quietly snoring into his neck. Shane’s hand is flat between Ilya’s shoulders, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing. Shane shifts a bit, shuffling down to adjust the angle of his hips, feeling a bit numb from laying in one position for so long.

And oh.

Oh he’s hard.

He’s so fucking hard actually, he can feel it now as he wakes more, the heavy aching pulse between his legs, the hard press of his cock under the fabric, between he and Ilya’s bodies. Shane shivers at the rush of pleasure at the accidental friction, chasing his hips up again against Ilya, eyes closed. His hand pushes further up Ilya’s back, all the way to his neck, Ilya’s sweatshirt all bunched up from it. His hand is on the back of Ilya’s neck, squeezing, thumb rubbing, feeling the familiar mess of his curls around his fingers.

Shane keeps the slow little ruts of his hips, breathing picking up a bit as he does. His limbs are so heavy his thrusts a little uncoordinated, tongue heavy in his mouth. Hips stuttering just enough for a sparking drag of his cock against fabric and warmth, a tease of the proper full sensation, but Shane is too sleepy and pinned by the weight of his man to do much more. Shane sighs and pushes his face into Ilya’s hair, rubs his mouth against the shell of Ilya’s ear. Ilya is so all over him, smells like his body wash and warm and fucking heavy, all big solid man muscle on top of Shane and fuck Shane wants. He keeps grinding up, up, and Shane parts his legs just a bit, slings a leg over Ilya’s hip and yes, better.

Ilya’s hips are lined up with his own and Shane’s cock is pressed to Ilya’s now, just as hard as him and Shane feel feel the hot heavy weight of him and Shane’s cock pulses wet in his boxers. He wants. He wants Ilya’s cock, the stretch of him, in his mouth, his body, his hand. Needs him.

Shane pants against Ilya’s ear, fingers become co ordinated enough to tangle in Ilya’s thick curls, taking a fist full, nails scratching against his scalp. He thrusts twice more, squirming under Ilya and fuck he could maybe even come like this, he thinks a hot shiver shoot’s up his spine and his cock throbs, slick with pre cum and- and then Ilya wakes, a small groan and his nose is dragging over Shane’s sternum. He lets out a loud heavy breath and his leg twitches and he’s rubbing his mouth over Shane’s neck, tired mouth attempting to form kisses.

“Shane” Ilya slurs out, sleepy and then hes rocking his hips down down down against Shane, meeting his thrusts in perfect time. Shane’s head falls back, mouth ajar and he’s pulling at Ilya’s hair and the drag of their cocks are hot and throbbing together through the thin fabric layers between them. And it’s not enough, it’s not being full, what Shane is craving now, an empty feeling inside that he knows can only sooth with Ilya pushed all the way in, Shane’s body throbbing at taking the weight of him all at once. It’s not being fucked, but it’s good, it’s hot and lazy and sparky bubbly pleasure through the low of their stomachs and Shane’s body is so strung out from training he’s not sure he’d have the energy to do much more than this.

“Baby” Shane mutters and then Ilya is nodding into his throat, a hand sliding down down and he finds Shane’s hip, hand grips tight to it, pushes him down into the couch and Ilya starts rolling his hips down onto Shane like he’s fucking him, slow messy thrusts that make Shane’s toes curl. Ilya is whining low in his throat, draws his face up to press his hot sleepy cheek to Shane’s, his skin is so hot and he kinda smells a little like sweat and Shane fucking loves this man, loves the grunt of his breathing he way he holds Shane the way he needs him just as fucking badly, half asleep and desperate pawing hands.

“Yeahyeahyeah” Ilya is panting low and grunting Shane’s ear and Shane draws a hand between them, his fingers find Ilya’s mouth and he’s pushing his thumb in, Ilya’s tongue warm on the pad of his thumb.

“S’good, more” Shane whines, as Ilya’s hand tightens on his hip, makes Shane strain against it to try and meet Ilya’s thrusts, his body jolting as if Ilya was fucking him up the couch. Ilya increases the pace, the couch rocks a little with the heavy movements of their strong bodies, and Shane’s cock has soaked his boxers through, adding a rough wet slip to the hit line of Ilya’s cock rutting against his.

Ilya’s next thrust drives the sensitive head of his cock against Shane’s, a rough pulsing of their cocks of their need, Shane can feel the hot thick weight of Ilya’s cock, his cock, all of ilya is his and fuck it feels so good the heady aching drag drag drag and Ilya turns his face and bites at Shane’s cheek and the soft pain of it makes Shane cum, gasping and shaking as he does, thighs flexing as pleasure shimmers down from his cock through him, all the way down to the soles of his feet.

Ilya growls and presses Shane so hard into the couch it makes him grunt from the force of it, Shane can feel the wetness of his cum soaked between them, through his sweatpants against Ilya’s and Ilya lets outs ragged moan before he’s coming, mouth dropped open, canine teeth pressed to the apple of Shane’s cheek as he shakes through it.

Ilya collapses heavy on Shane between one breath and he next, mutters out a low curse in Russian and Shane nods against Ilya’s hair, wiggles his toes and wraps his legs over Ilya’s body.

He feels shot, trembly warm and half asleep still, dizzy and floaty with pleasure, almost drunk.

“Pervert” Ilya mutters after a moment, his hand shoving into Shane’s sweats to feel the wet mess inside. Shane whines, shivers when his fingers brush his softening cock.

“Am not” Shane gruffs and curls his hips when Ilya strokes his fingers down behind his balls, fingers wet with Shane’s cum.

“You are right, you are freaky little sex pervert. Details important” Ilya yawns, jaw clicks and he pulls back to look down at Shane, his flushed face, half open sleepy dark eyes, the way he stares back at Ilya, lips parted. Starving sleepy horny little monster. Ilya needs to eat him in one bite.

Shane is frowning at him, probably due to the pervert comment but the furrow of his brows his so pretty is just makes Ilya smile.

“Is ok sweetheart I am also sex pervert. So this is very good” Ilya smiles, and Shane rolls his eyes and Ilya wraps a hand around Shane’s thigh and pushes up, finger slides back and finds his hole and oh.

“Oh” Shane sighs, eyes flutter and Ilya smirks, tilts his head down and fits their mouths together, kisses him slow and open mouthed, his whole body pulses with exhaustion and fatigue but he’d never be too tired to fuck his pretty little sex freak boy, especially after waking him so nicely.

[shoresys]

Hudson Wiliams The 2026 Canadian Screen Awards

[lunarblue11]

sunshine

[perlukafarinn]

At some point after they're married, Shane and Ilya are apart for like a week for ~reasons~ and when they're both home again, Shane basically jumps Ilya by the front door and drags him to the bedroom.

After they're finished fucking, Shane says something to the effect of, "I can't believe I used to go months without this."

And Ilya, as smug and satisfied as the cat who got the proverbial cream, replies, "Bet you wouldn't have held out for two years if you'd known what getting fucked felt like, huh?"

"Maybe," Shane says. He's still kind of out of it, so the next words slip out thoughtlessly, "I mean, I wanted to when we first planned it. I just kind of freaked out when it fell through and you left me on read."

Ilya's heart drops. "What do you mean?"

Shane does not pick up on his change in tone. "Just made me feel like I was alone in how much I wanted it. Obviously when you kept messaging me I realized I wasn't but it took a while to get over that feeling, y'know?"

Then he yawns, turning over to cuddle into Ilya's side, already drifting off and unaware that Ilya is now wide awake, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if wanting to go back in time and wring his nineteen year old self's neck counts as thoughts of self harm.

[perlukafarinn]

devastating tags by @hr-rep , thank you

[freezethismoment]

shane, who will sometimes drop what he’s doing to simply hug ilya. squeeze him so tight and rock him back and forth a little. ilya will laugh softly as he squeezes back, brush soft kisses to the top of shane’s head, ask what is this for? and shane will sigh, say, cause i love you. and cause we did it. and ilya will understand immediately— they did it. they made it here. here, where they are married and out and living together and playing hockey together and so happy and so in love— and he’ll say yes. we did. i love you. and press his mouth into shane’s hair. and they’ll stand there, rocking back and forth, basking in the warm sweet glowy feeling.

[k1nky-r0b0t-g1rl]

how to tell mutual hey i think ur really cool we should talk more but like also im bad at talking and am always exhausted

[littlegirlinvisible]

HAPPY PRIDE! 🌈

Interview with the Vampire (2022 —)

[hollanovshome]

Shane + Ilya (1996)

does this mean cliff marleau is mercutio

inspo via @mybloodstream-caffeine , thanks @gimmiekiss1221 for sending it my way, this was so fun!

my art tag

[handsywoman]

strangers to colleagues to friends to soulmates <3

[alright-fuckhead]

Half Man | 1.01

[russianblush]

Best Lead Performer, Drama Series is....Hudson Williams!

[youbitehard]

a couple of hollanov drabbles I posted these couple of weeks for drabbles for dopamine

let light come in (once in a while) (m, 1,6k, situationship era. intricate rituals or using sex to have an excuse to cuddle)

"I could stay for a bit. Maybe round two in some time." An obvious excuse, but Ilya doesn't point it out. Sex as a bargaining chip to get a hint of what they should not want. At some point, well in the beginning of this between them, anything post-coital was deemed illegal. Amoral. Impossible. If it's between fucks, though—they don't count, do they? A loophole. Ilya clings to it with all he has.

the golden rule (t, 1k, post tlg) a post-tlg rose & shane friendship scene

"I am not jealous, but I get suspicious if they talk too much about other players now. I love you to death, but I would prefer not to have that happen to me twice." Shane tilts his head. "Fair. Although, well… How many times did I speak about Ilya when we were together?" She thinks about it. "…none." "There you go. I think you are safe with this one."