I Messed Up Once And Now I'm Here

Single dad ready to FUCKING GO / Shitpost-RP blog / ASK ME SHIT / Main is @chr0me-d0me

[choomchoom]

gotta love the choom choom

[megatronforever]

gotta love the choom choom

[misfire-misfires]

Gotta love the choom choom

[grumpybox]

cracking open a cold one with the boys

[laurbyboom]

a man shooting a nerf gun at his light switch from the bed, missing every shot, and going to sleep with the lights on

[primus-why]

Rodimus Prime.

[inkedstar]

Next bot who calls me Dorito will be forced into their Holoform and chased down by my dog Fenrir

[orangehelimech-blog]

DORITO!!!

Haha I don’t have a holoform! >:)

[inkedstar]

Ok shit you know what you pass free, but the nEXT BOT

[greenfacedtruck-blog]

Dorito.

[inkedstar]

oK FUCKER LETS GO

[misfire-misfires]

i just have to say it... doritos are pretty good

[wormget]

Dearly bruhloved we are swaggered here today to join these two bros in holy matrihomie.

[misfire-misfires]

Mistakes are my preffered weapon

Anxiety adds a special touch ;)

[aquilegiaformosa]

Ultimate TF Shitpost Blog Masterlist 23-05-17

IDW/G1:

Lost Light Crew: Rodimus: @rodimemeprime @autobot-flameout-prime @flameonrodimus Ultra Magnus: @ultramagnussmartposts Drift: @driftofficial @thunderthighsmcgee Megatron: @thebesttyrant Ravage: @loyaldecepticat Tailgate: @minibotme Cyclonus: @cyclonusshitposts Whirl: @whirlfacts @whirlie-bird Rung: @rung-not-ring Swerve: @swerveshitposts Skids: @skidstheorizes Nautica: @bothtrueandfalse Nightbeat: @nightbeatmysteries Perceptor: @sniproscope Brainstorm: @brainstormsbrainstorms Chromedome: @chromedomefacts Rewind: @rewindsreceipts Ambulon: @leg-of-action First Aid: @doyourequirefirstaid Ratchet: @unrelentingcynicism @ratchets-clinic Pharma: @betterdoctorthanyou Velocity: @tenthtimesthecharm Trailbreaker: @forcefieldguy Pipes: @was-it-the-pipes Getaway: @bulletforyourthoughts Riptide: @hydr0b0t Atomizer: @raiseyourcrossbows Sunstreaker: @itsalwayssunnyon-cybertron Protoseeker: @proto-seeker (OC)

Luna 1: Fortress Maximus: @gunsinlegs Red Alert: @redalertalerts @ask-the-paranoid-autobot Prowl: @doubledutycops Mixmaster: @questionable-lab-safety

The Decepticon Justice Division: Tarn: @therealtarnshady @tarn-nation Kaon: @itskaonandthepet @thepitsofkaon Nickel: @medic-mum

The Scavengers: Krok: @best-strategist Fulcrum: @kick-ass-k-class Misfire: @misfire-misfires Spinister: @spinnyster Crankcase: @grumpyboxwastaken Grimlock: @grimlock-is-king

On Cybertron: Shockwave: @dailydoseoflogic Windblade: @itswindywindblade Starscream: @starscreamscreams Bumblebee: @autobot-commander-bee Wheeljack: @wheeljackingit Blurr: @blxrredracer Roller: @bigfriendlyroller Damus/Glitch: @tarnception Sunstorm: @chosenbyprimus Silverbolt: @silverbolt-roleplays-for-real Slingshot: @braggingiseveryonesright Jetfire: @jetfireitup Metroplex: @metroplex-heeds-the-call Trypticon: @the-talking-trypt

Earth Crew: Optimus Prime: @optishitprime @maximum-primeage Soundwave: @broadcasted-idiocy Rumble: @best-cassette Frenzy: @getfrenzied Lazerbeak: @laserfocus-prettybird Ratbat: @ratbatusedskree Thundercracker: @crackingthunder Skywarp: @skyvop

Humans: Verity: @wrecker001

TFP-RID15:

Autobots: Optimus Prime: @hipsdontprime Arcee: @sexy-blue-two-wheeler Ratchet: @ineededthat Wheeljack: @subtleshifting Cliffjumper: @lifebythehorns

Decepticons: Megatron: @darkenergon-megatron Starscream: @birbscream Shockwave: @amostillogicalarguement Knock Out: @cherryautomobileenthusiast Breakdown: @wxrhammers Wildbreak: @sweetevilwildbreak Predaking: @incorrigiblebeast

Humans: Agent Fowler: @gaygentfowler Jack: @rides-the-sexy-blue-two-wheeler Miko: @slashmonkeys

Rescue Bots:

Blades: @fearlesshelicopter Chase: @thisisthepolice Boulder: @innerbloom-mechanics Heatwave: @heatwave-rolling-in

TFA:

Autobots: Bulkhead: @bulkbot First Aid: @red-med-femme Blurr: @the-fast-and-the-furless

Decepticons: Shockwave: @prime-decepticon Blitzwing: @three-for-one Lugnut: @p0kewar Black Arachnia: @spideysshitposts Swindle: @swindlestealsyourcash

Beast Wars/Machines:

Decepticons: Megatron: @predicons-terrorize-yesssssss

Shattered Glass:

Decepticons: Soundwave: @god-tier-soundwave Ravage: @catposting

Autobots: Chase: @lawwhatlaw Prowl: @doubledutycops (yeee there’s two of them and one’s SG)

Tyran/Bayverse:

Autobots: Optimus Prime: @give-me-your-face Bumblebee: @radiopoweredhoneybee Crosshairs: @gemsnatchinsniper Drift: @spectralistdagger

Decepticons: Starscream: @inkedstar Barricade: @bad-robocop

Humans: Sam: @yesiamladiesman217

Non-continuity OCs:

Landon: @landongalaxies Arana: @arachnicon-arana Max: @maxthenightbirb Ross: @chiaroscuros-void Glass: @rungscuteglasses Lavender: @universallavender Servo: @servo-el-perro

everyone is organised by continuity of origin. shitpost blogs that are also personals have not been included (to the best of my knowledge). if i missed anyone or got something wrong please IM/PM me ^3^

[kick-ass-k-class]

Y’all mind if I...

(falls face first on the floor and lays in a heap) 

[misfire-misfires]

*Joins on the bot pile*

[medic-mum-blog1]

Is there room for more?

[misfire-misfires]

Absolutely, come over here in the scrapyard

[kick-ass-k-class]

Y’all mind if I...

(falls face first on the floor and lays in a heap) 

[misfire-misfires]

*Joins on the bot pile*

[grumpyboxwastaken]

“It’s not gay if it’s on the moon” who the fuck wrote this. It’s extremely gay if its on the moon

[misfire-misfires]

The moon is now the meetup space for gays reblog for other gays to know

[misfire-misfires]

[text] Why are you in the hospital? Fragging hell, Misfire! What the slag did you do now?!?! - Fulcrum

I fragged up real hard bro… You know that game humans play? Overwatch right. So i was playing overwatch and i tried reaper cuz he seemed cool AND I COULDN’T FRAGGING SHOOT CUZ I’M SHIT AT VIDEO GAMES. And i accidentally got in a fight with Grimlock because he couldn’t even reach the controller with his tiny ass arms and he was better than me.

[kick-ass-k-class]

You… picked a fight with a dinobot because you’re a sore loser??  Primus, you’re impossible!  

[misfire-misfires]

If you didn't already know the extent of my sore loserness you don't know me at all

[misfire-misfires]

[text] Why are you in the hospital? Fragging hell, Misfire! What the slag did you do now?!?! - Fulcrum

I fragged up real hard bro... You know that game humans play? Overwatch right. So i was playing overwatch and i tried reaper cuz he seemed cool AND I COULDN'T FRAGGING SHOOT CUZ I'M SHIT AT VIDEO GAMES. And i accidentally got in a fight with Grimlock because he couldn't even reach the controller with his tiny ass arms and he was better than me.

[frommemetoyou]

SEND MY MUSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING TEXTS TO SEE HOW THEY REACT (Panic version)

[itsnotmyrealname-archive]

[text] Are you safe?

[text] Are you home?

[text] Are you hurt?

[text] What’s happened?

[text] Please text back

[text] Where are you?

[text] Why are you in the hospital?

[text] Why didn’t you tell me sooner?

[text] Come back

[text] Stay with me

[text] I can’t feel my legs

[text] Are you sure?

[text] I feel sick

[text] Please come over

[text] I need you

[text] I need you to listen

[text] I need to look after you

[text] It’s urgent

[text] Help me, please

[text] You’re not listening! This is important!

[text] Please be careful

[text] Stop showing off, you’re not impressing anyone

[text] You worry me so much sometimes.

[text] I’ll wait for you to get back

[text] Please wait for me

[text] I don’t want to live without you

[text] I don’t know what to do

[text] Don’t touch anything

[text] I’ll be there right away

[text] What do you mean?

[text] Accident? How is that an accident?

[spinnyster]

@misfire-misfires

Guns in MY Pants? It’s more likely than you Think

[misfire-misfires]

Guns in YOUR face?? It’s more likely than you think

You just started a gunfight with the DJD you fragger

[spinnyster]

They are Less suspicious when they’re Dead

[misfire-misfires]

they’re only playing dead. im sure they’ll wake up soon and fuck us up.

[spinnyster]

When People ask For my Gender

*unzips the pants I am magically wearing for some reason*

*a fully loaded automatic machine gun pops out*

[misfire-misfires]

DO NOT COCK YOUR GUN

[theoreticiian-deactivated202309]

So Nightbeat-mun and I were wondering if there was a group Discord for the shitposters? If there isn’t, would anyone else be interested in having one?

[theoreticiian-deactivated202309]

UPDATE: I went ahead and made one - here is the link!

[misfire-misfires]

You can’t be bad at anything if you don’t do anything

[kick-ass-k-class]

[spinnyster]

Misfire, you’re still bad at doing Nothing too

[misfire-misfires]

Aw frag off On the contrary of you, I can keep my guns in my pants when I get bored.

[landoninspace]

It doesn’t make a difference WHERE the damn gun is. You still can’t shoot it.

[misfire-misfires]

Y'all always whine about my inability to shoot but it actually makes me a way safer bot than anyone else. You’re never any safer than right in front of my gun tbh

[landoninspace]

I doubt you could actually successfully point it at someone, but as a human, I’m glad that you’re safe. At least, your gun is. You, I’m not so sure about.

[misfire-misfires]

I'll beat you up while doing finger guns