Second Post: Raising a Gender Variant Child
Raising children can be quite challenging on its own. Most parents want to protect, support, and encourage their children throughout their life. Parents take pride in the achievements and strides their children make. All of this is wonderful, but when children do not meet certain gender related expectations some parents may not know how to react. It is very important that parents learn to question and break free of the restraints of the gender binary so that their children are able to do the same. Gender variant children and the parents of gender variant children were surveyed and asked to express their needs. The survey revealed the similarities of the needs of gender variant children and their parents. Overall, the needs of gender variant children and their parents are basic human needs. They wish to be treated as any other person would be, and everyone needs support and understanding. One of the most important things that parents said they needed is correct information about gender variance. They do not need sources that tell them their child has a disorder, they need sources informing them on how to make their children feel comfortable and confident with who they are. They also expressed the need for information about parenting strategies to help their children through tough obstacles, negative reactions, and the negative effects of bullying. Parents also want information on choosing the right school and medical provider for their child (one that is supportive, understanding, and accepting). Along with expressing the need for this information, the parents also expressed that this information needs to be accessible to them and their children. This information should be able to be found not only on the internet, but also in doctors’ offices/waiting rooms, in libraries, on the radio, and on television. The lack of accurate information is a major cause of uncertainty which fuels whatever fears the parents have, making it more difficult to properly support their children (Clemson, Diamond, Riley, & Sitharthan 2013)
Riley, E. A., Sitharthan, G., Clemson, L., & Diamond, M. (2013). Recognising the needs of gender-variant children and their parents. Sex Education, 13, 644-659.
I completely agree that parents need to be their children’s allies, especially at a moment and space when children are receiving so much mixed information regarding gender and sexuality. I posted an interview I did regarding this experience someone I know had - she is queer and more masculine presenting and was approached by a young girl who asked her if she was a boy or girl. It was very interesting that the young girl was very curious and inquisitive, however, her mom was embarrassed at the question and situation. Children are aware of gender at such a young age and it’s so important to have the tools and language ourselves to know how to engage them in these conversations. Thanks so much for posting this!













