Peachy Dreamer.

Mafil. 8Teen, December 26, 1995. This is my personal blog. I'm a simple girl living in a complicated world. I live in a city where people are mad and busy. I love imagining things I know won't happen. I always hope, wish, and dream, believing that someday I could turn them to reality.

[misschefmuffin]

I just realized taking a hot shower would make you stop crying. That was great. So, atleast now I know what to do when that hits me again. Haha.

[misschefmuffin]

Alfredo

Last night I cooked for him for the first time. I knew I failed again in cooking the sauce, haha, but I'm more than ever glad that he liked it. Literally for the first time, my food was finished in less than 10 minutes or maybe 5. To think the food I made was in a big serving bowl. I'm happy...and I look forward to cook more food for him. 😊

[misschefmuffin]

As for our Colorado trip...

Mainly about missed buses lol.

[misschefmuffin]

To the guy who is beside me right now

Thank you. Thank you for coming with me all the way to Colorado. Before I ever thought about going there, I always knew I would go alone. but that didn't stopped me cause all I want is to see snow and I know I will meet my best friend as soon as I arrive. I never expected you to come with me. I'm glad, I'm thankful. And I look forward to ride more airplanes with you. I Love You. P.S. You look so cute while sleeping. Hahaha. I feel bad for you having no sleep. I hate that feeling too. Haha.

[misschefmuffin]

It's been a while...

Break na kami. :) Sobrang sakit isipin na akala ko magtatagal kami, yun pala dito din hantungan. Nakakaiyak malamang... but then, ang tangi ko nalang magagawa ay mag-move on. We made a deal, a promise, that after graduation, itutuloy namin ulit. Pero ayoko nang umasa, kung ngayun pa nga lang na kakabreak lang namin meron na agad bago eh. Hindi ako maghahanap ng iba para makaganti. Instead, I will just make our relationship a life lesson. Kung wala siyang pake sakin, why would I bother still hold on to him? Sasayangin ko lang buhay ko sakanya. There are many other opportunities to have. Ayokong ikulong ko sarili ko sa past namin. Tutal, he doesn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve my love for him. He is nothing but a total jerk. Nothing but a total player. OMG. Kung anu-ano na natatype ko. Hahaha. Sorry, nadadala lang ulit ng emosyon. But anyways, gustuhin ko mang umiyak ng umiyak sa isang sulok, kaysa umiyak ako, I'll make myself productive nalang. Magpapakabusy ako, magpapaganda ako, and I'll make sure, he will crawl back to me again.

[misschefmuffin]

Nawawalan nako ng gana...

Those were the last words I told him right after dating with him... but I don't feel happy. It even hurt more. I love him but I have to let go. I will never be happy if I stay. Jeez, 1 month nalang oh? Hindi pa pinaabot dun. Kaso, anu pa nga ba? Ayoko narin magtiis. Patuloy lang ako masasaktan. :'/

[misschefmuffin]

"I want you today, and tomorrow, and next week for the rest of my life."

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My inspiration has run dry..

I just listened to this song: Torn by Natalie Imbruglia and boy it's sooo what I'm feeling right now.

Di ko alam kung pano sisimulan but things aren't going on so well. Yes, okay ang academics and friends... But I'm getting lost in my career path again. Lumalayo na loob ng pamilya ko sakin because of what had just happened.. until now di parin kami good vibes ni Mommy. It has been almost 3 weeks since it happened. Now I'm scared na baka ituloy nila yung pagpapahinto sakin ng pag-aaral after 3rd year, 2nd sem. Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko.. :((

And now? My boyfriend. I understand na may work siya and busy siya and all. Kaso bakit ganun? It's as if wala kaming napag-usapan about efforts. Parang, alam mo yun. Kung gusto may paraan. Pero bakit ganun...he will not call or text me kung hindi ako magtetext sakanya. Eh pano nga naman ba ko makakapagtext sakanya kung wala naman akong load. The fact na the past 2 weeks hindi ako binibigyan ng baon dahil nga bad vibes kami ni Mommy, magkakaroon pa kaya ako ng money for load? Samantalang siya na laging may load, ni call or text hindi magawa. Kahit ALWAYS siyang UNLI. Tapos minsan, magchachat kami, kakasimula lang namin mag-usap bigla na niyang sasabihin, "sige neko meme nako. pagod talaga ako ngayun.." bla bla bla. I mean, kahit mag-effort man lang siya na -ichat ako. Tapos minsan ganun din sa call, tipong ang dami-dami kong gusto ikwento sakanya bigla niyang sasabihin, "neko may gagawin pako..." "neko inaantok na talaga ko, di ko na kaya" bla bla. Eto pa ang mas worse, "sige neko may gagawin lang ako, I'll call you later okay?" but after that hindi na siya tatawag ulit. Minsan magkakaroon ako ng miss call pero porket di ko nasagot the first time di na siya tatawag ulit. Grabe lang. I just can't take it anymore. Lahat na ng masasakit nararamdaman ko na dahil sakanya. Pagmay problema ako, parang magpapakita lang na may care when in fact hindi siya gagalaw hangga't di ako magsasalita ulit sakanya. I mean, kahit man lang itanong niya na, "kamusta ka na? okay ka lang ba?" Eh parang di naman niya ko kilala. Siguro tatanungin niya ko ulit nun kung kelan di ko na kailangan. But he has never been there for me when I needed him the most. He might have been there but only for a short time. Kaya narealize ko na..ako lang talaga ang makakatulong sa sarili ko. Not him, not even my best friends. Ganun din, parang wala lang din akong boyfriend. So better if I end this already. I give up. I'm not happy anymore. I'm leaving.

[misschefmuffin]

Failed 100 Happy Days. :/

I wasn't able to finish my 100 happy days... I forgot to take pictures, I got lazy... I got so uninspired.. :(

[misschefmuffin]

Day 59 - 05/19/14

Made brownies~ Italianni's inspired. :3

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Day 58 - 05/18/14

Tacobell after duty with my new OJT friend! ^_^

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Day 57 - 05/17/14

Another bonding with my sweet boyfriend again. :">

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Day 56 - 05/16/14

With my OJT friends after duty. ^_^

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Day 55 - 05/15/14

Banana bread and crinkles after duty. Oh how I love them. :3

[misschefmuffin]

Day 54 - 05/14/14

I went to my boyfriend's house because he was sick. Took care of him the whole day. Happy moments with him of course. :) I wasn't able to take a picture but while we we're using the computer, I figured out that my dad liked my boyfriend's post. It just feels amazing that still...I don't know but...one of my family likes him...even just a little bit. Teehee.

[misschefmuffin]

Day 53 - 05/13/14

Bonding with Italianni's Employees. :)