I've been extremely depressed the past 4 months because of a job I just left. Within that time I tried to reach out to my close friends and most are just too busy with life and their kids to have much conversations with me. When I graduated with my masters I threw a graduation party at my apartment, just a hang around the pool thing with barbque, one of my friends out of around 20 came, but a lot of my fiance's friends came. I think I got like one or two apologies out of it. Everyone had some random excuse or reason. That hurt a ton, I'll admit I cried a lot. I was pretty burned out from that so I didn't try to spend time with friends after that. Then my birthday came, and it was labor day weekend so I told people and myself that it's another hang around at the pool day so if people want to drop by for an hour or two at any time you're more than welcome, kids are also welcome. Day gets there, and people cancel the night before or the day of, one person came. Now this weekend I got a time resort room right out of town, and I wasn't going to invite anyone because of the last two big events. And people said yes!
Well the day before gets here and of course everyone has some reason they can’t come now. I feel so fucking dead inside.


















