The Doctor: While I'm gone, you're in charge Jack.
Jack: Yes!
The Doctor, whispering to Rose: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad.
Rose: Obviously.
This may seem like an exaggeration, the idea that one can learn how to properly think like a criminal by learning how crime stories work. On a personal note, let me tell a story from the Leverage writer’s room.
Apollo Robbins (http://www.istealstuff.com/) runs a crew of professional thieves who consult for law enforcement. He was also our criminal consultant on Leverage. Every few weeks he would visit the writer’s room to advise on the scripts and keep us up to date about new cons and the latest in criminal technology.
One day during the third season he sat in with the writers while we broke a story. We posted the details of a real-life white collar criminal up on the room’s whiteboard, using him as the basis for our Mark. We looked at his weaknesses, how he moved his money, what his hobbies were. Once we were happy with that element of the story we added a Vault to the mix, one that used an interesting new alarm technology we’d researched. We then spent about an hour figuring out how to circumvent that alarm. We even sketched out a map of the imaginary building so we could keep track of our Crew’s movements during the Job.
“Well, I’m done here,” Apollo muttered. Noting our confusion, he pointed at the board and index cards cluttering the wall. “This is exactly how real Crews plan these things. This writer’s room is now a fully functioning criminal gang. You could be thieves.”
Of course writing television pays better than crime (usually), with far less chance of being arrested (usually), so we all managed to resist the temptation. But aside from the day a US Attorney asked us to change a plot because we’d created a scam that was a little too foolproof, or when a Homeland Security Agent admitted they were spooked by a security hole we’d exploited in our season finale, it was certainly one of the proudest moments I had on the show.
Source: “CrimeWorld” by John Rogers in Fate Worlds Volume Two: Worlds in Shadow. Evil Hat Productions, 2013: 20.
god nine was so fucking in love with rose. "i'm so glad i met you." "i could save the world but lose you." dancing with her and not realizing they'd been teleported because he was so besotted. "i only take the best. i've got rose." hating literally every other man she so much as glanced at. i am fully convinced that nine had so little self control when it came to his love for her, and if he had not regenerated he would have acted on it a thousand percent. i main tenrose but ninerose hits so different. i absolutely love them
Rewatching S1 and really enjoying the ninerose dynamic on a more meta level this go around.
Obviously the appeal of a kind, wounded veteran falling back in love with humanity and the universe opening up for a brilliant, but stifled woman has been obvious to me on previous watches, but I'm really enjoying what I feel their relationship has to say about humanity's relationship to the wider universe overall.
While they both feel like grounded characters with a very real, human dynamic, they also undeniably represent something more metaphorical to each other:
The Doctor is infinite and unknowable, cold and righteously violent, but also full of wonder and excitement, compassionate and self-sacrificing. He's Rose's gateway to the universe, both in a literal sense by taking her through time and space, but also by stretching her ideas of what's possible - expanding her perception of her own limitations and the effect her actions can have on people and events.
Rose, on the other hand, represents everything beautiful about humanity, even in her imperfections. She's empathetic and passionate and stubborn and curious, and cares so deeply about the rights and well-being of the individual, even at the expense of the whole. She can be infuriatingly partial and rash, but there's real beauty in how, to her, everyone seemingly small and insignificant has such desperate importance. It's a reality - that every person is a universe in and of themselves - that the Doctor has had to callous over in order to survive the Time War, and one she wakes him up to.
They both start the show similarly jaded - unaware of or apathetic to humanity's importance to any kind of greater schema - just from opposite ends. Zooming out a bit, the Doctor represents the perspective of a cold, indifferent universe, where individual humans are nothing but small, demanding blips in a much larger whole, and Rose is just an ordinary human, with seemingly nothing of real value to offer anyone outside her small circle of influence.
To me, it's a real metaphor for the depressive crisis of modern life: the oppressive, omnipresent perspective that the universe is big, vast, and uncaring. That there is no love or purpose there, just space dust and decay, and humanity will fade and die with nothing of real value being added. So you "get up, get dressed, go to work, eat chips, and go to bed" over and over and over again, all because there's nothing else. Right?
Except there isn't "nothing else." The universe is full of wonder, mystery, adventure, and joy. And it has wounds - wounds even a small human can help heal.
And every human is full to the brim with complexity, history, and meaning - each one of them containing a world of memory, thoughts, and sensations. Their lives can shape the course of reality, and each of their deaths is the death of a tiny universe.
And as both of them discover the other and realize this, they start to switch places. The Doctor struggles more and more with the decision to end even one life to save countless others, because he starts to see just what it is he's terminating, and Rose increasingly refuses to accept a bystander's role, even when faced with problems of a depth she hasn't been remotely equipped to handle.
By the end, the Doctor can't do it. He can't end a civilization to save the universe, even knowing the end won't be permanent, and that the civilization will likely die without him. He's become small, emotional - a "coward." He's a man rendered ineffectual to the universe by the depth of his empathy.
And Rose refuses to accept the life of safety and normality that he's gifted her, because, in this moment, it would require her to accept impotence in the face of a world-ending threat as well as the death of someone she loves. By now, both her and the audience see that she has so much more to offer than that - that the power and depth of her care can change time and space, as love, stubbornness, creativity and a giant truck transform her into a golden, god-like apparition of herself.
In the first season's finale, he isn't cosmically significant. He only matters because of one woman's love for him. And for just a moment, that woman is the entire universe.
It's a long and beautiful journey toward a simple thesis: humans do matter. Desperately.
Why the Doctor’s Healthiest Romantic Relationship is with Rose Tyler
(Updated to include my sources. I was lazy the first time around).
Overview:
From the moment the Doctor and Rose Tyler enter each other’s lives they become mutual healing and growth forces for one another and they both have full agency to choose to be in close relationship one another. It is the Doctor’s total and free choice to ask Rose to travel with him after being alone for a century, and it is Rose’s total and free choice to say yes. There’s no outside influences manipulating either of them.
The Doctor is still deeply traumatized from the time war and in a state of deep self loathing, but Rose is constantly mirroring back to him that he is deserving of love. Rather than shut him out for blowing up her job, she wants to know him better. Rather than going back home after nearly dying on their first trip, she asks to relax and have chips before going back out again. She sees the good in him time and time again and focuses on it.
Rose is struggling with self esteem issues herself. She was struggling to find a purpose in life and by the standards of everyone on earth, she was a “loser” who dropped out of school. Her mother loves her to pieces but also doesn’t challenge her to reach her potential. Mickey actively benefits from Rose feeling bad about herself.
When the Doctor comes along, he is the first person in her life to not just see her true potential but to actively encourage it. In the Doctor’s mind, she is someone he believes in more than anything or anyone he’s ever encountered. And Rose feels it. We see her grow leaps and bounds in confidence and courage. From feeling like a nobody, she expanded to become someone capable of independently hopping dimensions, shooting the devil, and even helping Donna on her journey of realizing her own importance.
Meanwhile, the Doctor has started learning to care about individual people again. He had shut down that capacity because to think of individuals is to think of everyone who died at his hands in the time war. But with Rose, can start to consider them again. It’s safe to consider them again because of all the love, care, and devotion Rose shows him.
Dr. Wind Goodfriend (2016), a social psychologist who has written textbooks for students and is a current lecturer, described the Doctor and Rose’s relationship in terms of self expansion theory. They help each other expand towards their best selves and that’s one of the many reasons their bond is so strong. Here’s one direct quote from her. You can also find the entire passage she’s written HERE.
“Rose's ability to challenge the Doctor, to confront his weaknesses and make him stronger, kinder, and wiser, is what makes her special. This may be why the Doctor feels a love for Rose beyond his love for his other companions: She pushes him to expand his cognitive and emotional self in ways he never encountered before.” -Dr. Wind Goodfriend
In 9/10 scenes where the Doctor and Rose are together, they are happy. They are overjoyed and truly enjoying one another. The only times they aren’t, it’s because they are processing their relationship in necessary ways. Such as when Rose tried to save her dad. She had no idea how that was going to damage time, but the Doctor had to go within and address his fears of being taken advantage of. By the end of the episode he does trust that Rose didn’t mean it. He knows she wasn’t trying to use him and didn’t know the damage she was causing. They fought, but it laid important groundwork for their relationship and continued trust in one another.
Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman (2015) believes a healthy relationship consists of five positive interactions for every negative one. The Doctor and Rose not only meet that ratio but exceed it. They consistently bring each other far more happiness than emotional turmoil. Both of them prioritize the other’s mental and emotional well being. At no point is either of them willing inflict suffering on one another nor are either of them willing to abandon the other to suffer in any way. They both care about one another more than their own egos and so when they’re together, they’re almost always just happy and enjoying one another.
Yes, at times they put each other above everything else. They didn’t do this recklessly and when it does happen, it’s just part of being a unit with someone else. For the Doctor to be a perfect selfless hero, he would have to be lonely too. Because as long as he had someone like Rose around, he was gonna put her first.
Growth in a relationship doesn’t mean people become perfect. Just that they are better with that person than without. Which they were. Neither of them became perfect. Rose never does seem to draw clear boundaries with Mickey (which was an issue in their relationship prior to the Doctor). The Doctor also struggles to function without Rose. This is what makes their relationship feel real. They grew leaps and bounds with each other but still had flaws.
Contrast with other relationships:
When asking the question “are they better together than apart?” The Doctor’s relationship with Rose is the only one that comes up as a yes.
The amount of confusion, manipulation, distress, and cognitive dissonance that River causes the Doctor doesn’t make him better off when she’s around (entire essay about that is in progress). River herself has apparently mused that perhaps her life would’ve been better if she never met the Doctor in one of her novels. Nor was that relationship borne out of either individual’s free will.
Then there’s Clara, a person selected by the Doctor’s arch nemesis, Missy (before any desire to reform herself), with the entire purpose of causing both Clara and the Doctor distress. Rather than growing into a better version of herself or seeing the Doctor as just a role model, Clara sacrifices her own potential identity to become a direct copy of the Doctor. Meanwhile, the Doctor is emotionally unable to break himself free of a dynamic with a person who he knows was 100% willing to take his TARDIS from him and leave him stranded on a volcano to get what she wanted.
Charley Pollard from the audios did benefit to some extent from her travels with the Doctor, but had to suffer a great deal of trauma from the dynamic. The Doctor seemed to be completely unable to tell what genuine love looked like while they were together, even forcing Charley to kill him at one point, and both individuals wound up quite tortured throughout the entire dynamic.
None of this is to say the primarily toxic ships are invalid. They can be more interesting than a healthy one. But I feature the contrast because I want Rose Tyler fans to know the nuance and details when they’re out in the wild hearing accusations that the Doctor and Rose were just as toxic as “x ship”.
Dependence:
Yes, it’s also true that Rose and the Doctor had a lot of dependence on one another. They worried about each other all the time and at many moments struggled to be apart from each other. Is this the same as toxicity though? In recent times, the word codependence has been something that’s thrown around quite a bit (Bacon et al., 2020). It has no standard definition and the word originated as a way to define a person who enables an addict (Bacon et al., 2020). It’s somewhat harmful to throw this word around because any amount of interdependence between two beings can be labeled as codependent. And not all dependence is always bad (Johnson, 2008; Van Langue, 2012). Humans are designed to be a social species and if you look at nature, other social species like Wolves, crows, several other primates, and lions all have dependencies on one another. The same would apply to Time Lords since they too lived in a society. In fact, healthy dependence is a positive, and necessary thing for a relationship (Jonson, 2008).
Dependence causes an issue when one person loses their sense of self, when imbalances in dependence level causes a power dynamic that one party exploits, when one party is less attached and therefore much more willing to leave the relationship, or when it is necessary for one or both parties to function apart and they cannot (Van Langue, 2012). The Doctor and Rose do face some dependence level issues but not to the extent that might be imagined when that codependent label is thrown around without any nuance.
The emotional dependence seen between the Doctor and Rose is entirely mutual. An imbalance in the mutuality of dependence can cause a potentially harmful power dynamic, but that doesn’t exist here.
In terms of functional dependence, Rose is initially dependent on the Doctor for navigating time and space travel when it’s something that’s brand new to her, but she gains independence over time and the Doctor doesn’t take advantage of her dependence nor is he upset by it. So, it doesn’t cause them any interpersonal issues. And in fact, the Doctor and Rose do split up quite frequently and effectively even early in their travels. And both parties do function independently of one another quite well most of the time.
When one or both of them is in danger, the emotional distress this causes seems to disrupt their abilities to function, but that is a separate thing from dependence. That’s just two people who love each other undergoing distress if another is in danger.
The biggest issue Rose has in functioning without the Doctor comes when he’s in a regeneration coma. She believes she’s incapable of doing anything but running, suggesting there is a dependence issue at play, but she’s also in distress because she doesn’t understand regeneration. She’s upset because he’s clearly sick and she’s not sure if he’s even the same person. Which makes it hard to even pin this down entirely as a dependence issue.
Both individuals maintain their separate identities despite their closeness. The Doctor doesn’t try to become Rose, he learns from her and heals form her. Likewise, Rose doesn’t try to become the Doctor. She emulates him at points but never tries to be anyone else but Rose Tyler.
When the Doctor believes he is permanently separated from Rose he is unable to cope in a very healthy fashion. He’s lost regard for his own life and is struggling to relate effectively to anyone else he meets. This is a dependency issue. He was emotionally reliant on Rose.
Conclusion:
What I want to leave you with, is that this final example of extreme reliance was the cost of having a relationship as deep and as joyful as what they did have while together. There is no such thing as a perfectly healthy relationship because the closer people get, the more dependence is created. And likewise, an active avoidance of dependence will hurt how close people can get (Johnson, 2022). If Rose and the Doctor were less attached to one another, perhaps the grieving process would’ve been less dramatic, but the joy and closeness they got from one another would’ve had to have been diminished too. Dependence and therefore great pain in the absence of your beloved, is always a side effect of a deep impactful love. The best outcome is just that the emotional dependence is mutual.
Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life. -Merle Shain
The choice was either some amount of dependence or distance. The Doctor and Rose chose some aspects of dependence and I think it’s beautiful. Despite neither being perfect, their net effect and impact on one another was positive. The relationship did them both far more good than harm. Despite the difficult grieving process at first—in the end, Rose’s name kept the Doctor fighting.
References:
Bacon, I., McKay, E., Reynolds, F. et al. The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Int J Ment Health Addiction 18, 754–771 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9983-8
Goodfriend, W. (2016). [By Any Other Name: Evolution, Excitation, and Expansion]. In T. Langley (Ed.), Doctor Who psychology: A madman with a box (pp. 143-151). Sterling Publishing/Smart Pop.
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Revised edition). Harmony/Rodale.
Johnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown and Company.
Van Lange, P. A. M., & Rusbult, C. E. (2012). Interdependence theory. In P. A. M. van Lange, A. W. Kruglanski, & E. T. Higgins (Eds.), Handbook of theories of social psychology (Vol. 2, pp. 251–272). SAGE Publications. https://doi.org/10.4135/9781446249222.n39.
vaporwave
2087
blakekathryn
origamiaround
jacobvanloon
turnnoffyourmind
kaledo-art
