(hi it's me @misspiggyilya i was ur last anon)
ok so as a therapist/psych nerd i have really annoying opinions on Attachment Theory in general. i agree w the premise and understand the original studies which described the phenomenon but i think modern discourse on it has kind of made it extremely reductive and yadayada we don't really need to get into all that. i guess what my hot take kinda boils down to is No One Has Secure Attachment. at least not in the perfect ideal sense. and attachment security is a Spectrum that differs between caregivers & can also be context-dependent.
but that opinion aside, for shane specifically. even if i was going to go by the mainstream understanding of attachment labels, i'd be hesitant to put him under secure attachment. i think the fact that he felt like he had to hide his sexuality from his parents for most of his life + the pressure we see him under to maintain his Image and the way that we see Yuna specifically being preoccupied / concerned with that image To Me indicates some level of enmeshment trauma where shane is only really seen for his achievements and the glory they bring rather than who he is underneath all that.
Also, in the show when shane and yuna have their emotional moment, we see Yuna kind of forcefully shake the emotions off with the way she says "enough" afterwards. hudson's talked in an interview about how that felt incomplete emotionally to him but that that was the point bc that's how yuna copes with things. so i think it's safe to assume that's how she's always been with emotions and vulnerability & how she's responded to them in shane in the past, which likely caused some shame in shane for having them.
all this to say i do think shane Is a little more comfortable with vulnerability than ilya but if i'm speaking my truth i don't think it's by That Much. i think they're relationship to it is different tho. i think ilya is afraid of his emotions being a burden whereas shane is more afraid of what the emotions Mean about him (that he's fallible / imperfect). i think we can see this in how their attachment dynamic plays out w each other. the reason shane freaks out after tunamelt is bc he's having an emotion that he hasn't had the time to decode (being #InLove) slash ilya's showing him a level of vulnerability he hasn't shown before which opens up shane's Desire for them to be Something which he has repressed & relegated to the back of his mind. so he has a classic avoidant freakout about it!
anyway if u put a gun to my head i'd classify him as disorganized (anxious/avoidant) attachment (you can see the anxious side more post-ghosting/vegas) as i would ilya but i believe they have different root traumas / attachment dynamics which caused them
I wanna start by saying ty for your response! I love this hearing about/talking about this kind of stuff!
I think your psych hot take makes a lot of sense. If Iām understanding correctly, the premise isnāt inherently wrong but not everything can be cleanly and neatly arranged into only one category or another. Yeah, thatās fair and makes sense. Although if I misunderstood pls correct me!
I think the way youāve described Shane, Yuna, vulnerability, emotion, etc, also makes sense! I really agree with you on all of it, actually. I donāt want to be a broken record, but reading each paragraph I just kept saying to myself āyep, that makes sense!ā
Them being different but not really by a huge amount is an important detail to me. If Shane developed under completely ideal conditions his entire life, heād be a completely different character (to me, at least). I absolutely donāt subscribe the notion of āIlya has trauma, Shane has noneā etc. Their circumstances are/were different, but itās not black and white. Parents can fuck up their kids even if they mean well. And I do think Yuna and David meant well.
I think that as much as I say āoveranalyzing media is fun and itās how I show my love for itā, I often chicken out over going as in depth as I want to. However, I really love going into depth like this. So, thank you for doing so with me! <3
