Bingpup Red riding hood 🐶🎀 Granny Shizun 👵 and Hunter Liu 🪓
(The First post of this au)

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@misto713
Bingpup Red riding hood 🐶🎀 Granny Shizun 👵 and Hunter Liu 🪓
(The First post of this au)
If I ate one of Hua Chengs butterflys,would I gain spiritual energy?
LIKE I BE CHOPMING ON THESE MF
I BE GLOWING WITH SPIRITUAL ENERGY
Absolutely unhinged post, thank you so much
well they are spiritual butterflies so i don't think physical teeth would do much to them. it's more likely that they'd gather in your stomach and absorb your spiritual energy, eating you from the inside.
...if you want hua cheng's spiritual energy, just dress as xie lian and suck hua cheng off like a normal person.
Scenario where cumplane become friends before the Abyss, and Luo Binghe determines that actually, Shang Qinghua is potentially his biggest romantic rival.
Not because Shang Qinghua is particularly seductive, and not even because of their friendship, but because Shang Qinghua actually seems to be fluent in Shen Qingqiu's weird and at times contradictory signals.
Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan can yearn and pine all they want, but they can't even convey romantic interest in a format Shen Qingqiu can or will recognize, so at the end of the day they're making all of these overtures and Shen Qingqiu is just like oh what nice friends :) about it. There's way less risk of him ever accepting their suits when he can't recognize them as such, and when neither of the other guys even realize he can't recognize them as such!
But Shang Qinghua...
Shang Qinghua knows that Shen Qingqiu is unaware, too. And he knows how to make him aware. He knows how to parse Shen Qingqiu's odd double-speak and mixed signals maybe even better than Luo Binghe himself. Plus he can anticipate what things Shen Qingqiu is liable to react strangely or inconsistently towards, when again, even Binghe struggles to do that sometimes!
If Shang Qinghua ever made a move on Shen Qingqiu, he would be able to convey his intentions clearly. And before Binghe has the social standing to actually present himself as a viable alternative, he wouldn't even be able to argue against the match! It would be totally dependent on whether or not Shen Qingqiu was interested, and Luo Binghe cannot say with confidence that he actually wouldn't be? Shang Qinghua may be the weakest and least dashing of the peak lords, but he's not bad looking. He even has certain traits which Luo Binghe himself shares, traits Binghe's deliberately tried to emphasize because he knows Shizun responds to them, like being pathetic, and clingy, and clumsy, and having big eyes and curls in his hair and doing important work that helps make Shen Qingqiu's life more comfortable...!
Luo Binghe starts spying on Shang Qinghua. He is going to get dirt on him, and he is going to blackmail him into swearing that he will never ever attempt to court Shen Qingqiu! At least not until after Binghe has reached his majority and can fairly compete with him for his master's affections!
Of course, this is how Luo Binghe discovers that Shang Qinghua is a spy for Mobei Jun, and is plotting to assist in an attack on the Immortal Alliance Conference.
A revelation which accidentally creates such an untenable situation that the plot shifts irrevocably. All Shen Qingqiu knows about it is that out of nowhere the System has offered to remove the Endless Abyss mandatory plot point but only if Shen Qingqiu agrees to purchase something it's calling The Espionage Path...?
I think that one of the things I like about Liushen is how on Shen Qingqiu's end, that's his relationship with the least amount of baggage, and on Liu Qingge's end, it's got the most.
Shen Qingqiu: good old reliable Liu-shidi!
Liu Qingge: we were enemies for decades, I thought you tried to kill me, you saved my life, now I'm questioning everything I ever thought I knew about you, it's like you're a completely different person, or maybe I just never understood what was really going on, who are we to one another now, I wouldn't dare to dream of kissing you under the moonlight except maybe I would
cnetizens: i was this chill when life fuck me hard...
cr 乌拉辣拉娜
shroedinger dancing. is he dancing? is he not? nobody really knows, but his partner seems ok with it :D
submissive in the way a livestock guardian dog is submissive to the sheep it kills wolves for
love how much attention this post is getting i knew the gay people in my phone would understand me. btw here's the picture that inspired me to make this post in the first place:
vegans making honey a bee labour issue is the funniest thing imaginable because like, you picked the one animal that has already unionised
You literally could not exploit bees if you TRIED
"Oh well if you stop the queen leaving the bees are trapped" wrong, bees can and will swarm without a queen. They will also make new queens if they don't think theirs is good enough
"Bees don't consent to their honey being taken" wrong, bees are actually more than intelligent enough to know we take the honey. They LET us take the honey if they think what we provide in return (shelter, food, protection) is a fair deal.
"Taking honey starves the bees" WRONG AGAIN! Domestic bees overproduce honey. A beekeeper NEVER takes honey the bees would need because then you piss off the bees, and if you piss off the bees you don't have any bees. They stockpile honey for the winter, but because domestic colonies do way better than wild ones they stockpile too much. That's why beekeepers can take out whole frames and then have them filled in no time. Domestic bees actively overproduce because they know humans are going to skim some off the top.
And if they didn't want humans to take it, beekeeping WOULD NOT work.
To keep bees you have to let them fly free. If they can fly free they can leave. Meaning if they don't like what you're doing, they WILL leave.
The whole idea they're basically slaves to the queen is also not true, they can just make a new queen literally whenever, and if they don't like her, they kill her.
There is no way for a beekeeper to exploit their bees. The bees are EMPLOYEES.
Employbees, if you will.
where was that post i once saw that bees consider the honey humans take to be basically health care fees and protection money?
protection honey 😏
Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?
Everybody, apparently: No?
Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.
“How to Respond to Criticism” by Danny M. Lavery for The Toast
I'll be honest here, i just think it's really funny to imagine that Shen Qingqiu in Liu Qingge's pov is like one of those action movies' protagonist's wives, y'all know the ones i'm talking about, right? The always smilling, laughing under the sheets while the camera records them, loves animal, kind hearted ones that get brutally murdered like 20 minutes into the movie which then drives their husband into a revenge fueled murder spree
Shen Qingqiu managed to be the Angsty Flashback Fridged Wife for MULTIPLE characters at once
and his self-destruction death triggered several powerful cultivators to go into revenge fueled... duel sprees? lbh and lqg fought over his corpse for years, while the rest of cqms mourned.
people who think sy is a bad / unkind person are literally falling for his own self-brainwashing lmfao. he demonstrates time and time again that even though he himself thinks of him as a terrible, unkind, manipulative person, he continually goes out of his way to do good by other people even when he conceivably gains no reward for doing so. he helps people and then formulates a selfish reason for it after the fact. the other characters aren't just stupidly following him around defending him for no reason - they like him because he is ultimately a good, kind person that they like and want to protect. a flawed person, but one that is ultimately good by nature. tapping my forehead repeatedly
Airplaneeee! + Extra Art!
Freeform Luo Binghe/Shen Yuan Svsssaction prompt for Anonymous!
Luo Binghe has learned the art of making custom items, so now they both can have merch of each other (yes he's designing it all himself ✨)
i mean this is beautiful and wonderful and touching and all but my brain interpreted the first 'page' as one image... so i saw an eluvian where someone placed a wooden plank in front of the mirror and solas smacked his face right into it 😅😂🙈
A toxic trait of mine is that sometimes when dragon age is going on about how many people died in the Chantry explosion my first thought is "it was just Hightown"
"you're laughing. An anarchist blew up a megachurch in the richy-rich mcmansion part of town, and you think it's funny." I mean, a little bit.
Readers added additional context
OP was mass blocked by at least one discord server due to this post
head disciple shen yuan and his two little shidis who for some reason keep sneaking into the beast tamer peak ⛰️🐉
sy's pov:
Modern AU where Shen Yuan accidentally sugar-daddies everyone.
So for the purposes of this, Shen Yuan's family is basically $10 Bananas levels of cluelessly rich. Shen Yuan has almost never had to look at the prices of anything he wants. He and his siblings all get an allowance from the family's main account, which increases when they reach adulthood, and in the interest of fairness his parents made it all the same size. So Shen Yuan gets the same amount of money for his daily living expenses as his older brothers with their penthouse apartments and vacation homes and private jets, at least from the family account (since he doesn't work, he doesn't actually make as much as them in total because they earn more on top of their allowances).
And the thing is, Shen Yuan genuinely just lives a lot more humbly. He likes people but what would he do with a vacation house? Anything really nice would probably require him to fly to get out there, and he gets sick as hell on planes. Living in the central city is also not great for him, because the air pollution is so bad. Having a whole house to himself would also be ridiculous. So he has a reasonable apartment, in a reasonable area, and he splurges every so often on purchases that make him happy and take-out food that he likes, and of course he pays a cleaning service to come in twice a week. Most people assume he's comfortably middle class and has some tech job he does from home, but he's been getting a lot more than he's been spending in his monthly allowances for years now, and the figures are big.
Enter into this environment author Airplane and his trash novels. Novels, multiple, because in this AU there's no PIDW, and instead after some alternate PIDW prototype got popular in the harem genre, Airplane decided to churn out a series of copy-paste shorter stories rather than recycling the same subplots in one massively long epic.
Shen Yuan of course discovers Airplane's writing and becomes as obsessed with it as ever, except this time he notices that if there are delays between new stories, they seem to clear up faster whenever he throws some cash at the problem. And also that the drops in Airplane's writing quality coincide with times when Shen Yuan was having health issues and not keeping up with his VIP purchases. So, he works out that Airplane's probably doing the writing for the money, and that when Peerless Cucumber isn't paying the most for it, Airplane starts listening to the other buffoons in the comment section more to try and entice them to pay his bills instead.
Peerless Cucumber leaves a comment on one of Airplane's latest stories that kicks off the two of them actually chatting, and Shen Yuan eventually gets to the point of offering to fund all Airplane's writing, in exchange for Airplane not doing his crap sellout stuff to appeal to other readers anymore. Airplane thinks he's joking or maybe mocking him. Shen Yuan asks how much it would cost. Airplane fires off a ridiculous number. Shen Yuan doesn't even blink and wires him the first payment. Then he gets annoyed because Airplane leaves him on read for a while, but that's because Airplane is staring at his account balance in shock.
Of course, it's Airplane who starts referring to Peerless Cucumber as his sugar daddy. Shen Yuan is just like "based on your sex scenes I don't think anyone would pay you for that" and Airplane's all "but you WOULD pay for my sex scenes ^_~" and Shen Yuan's like "technically I am actually paying you not to write that shit" and so on. Usual banter. The quality of Airplane's writing improves dramatically, a lot of his readership drops off but he does get new readers and gradually builds up an even bigger fanbase than before, and so on, it all goes pretty well. He eventually writes a few things that take off to the point of getting physical publications and international translations. Technically Airplane no longer needs Shen Yuan to pay all of his bills by that point but he's not going to tell Shen Yuan that! The contract's still good as long as he keeps writing!
Then one of Airplane's online acquaintances runs into some financial trouble and asks for help.
Idea: demons in SV have different categories of relationships that don't translate quite so clearly to humans. sort of like how the trolls in homestuck have quadrants, but not necessarily the actual troll quadrants.
like someone from Cang Qiong makes mention that Mobei Jun's relationship with Shang Qinghua is the same as Luo Binghe's relationship with Shen Qingqiu, and Mobei Jun gets actively offended because excuse you, Shen Qingqiu is Luo Binghe's teacher-husband/wife, Shang Qinghua is Mobei Jun's administrator-consort, those are completely different categories of life partner! Shen Qingqiu doesn't even sit at Luo Binghe's feet or take notes for him when he holds court! where would anyone get the idea that it's the same thing??
there's potential for comedic misunderstandings in SV, but thinking about applying this to PIDW gets wild too. like according to human culture, Luo Bingge can have as many wives as he can support, so that's sorted there, but according to demon culture, he can only have so many wives as long as they fill different partnership roles. so like, Bingge's finessing this with his council of demon advisors and allies and would-be allies who want to firm things up with him via marriage alliances, fighting wars and siding with various factions based around his ever-growing harem and which prominent demon clans will back his efforts to legitimize dozens of new relationship categories. and the demons already had plenty!
meanwhile Bingmei has to deal with all the demons he meets impatiently explaining that they don't intend to replace his teacher-husband/wife, and if that's the partner he wants to make his empress too then so be it, but he clearly doesn't have an administrator-consort or a procreative-partner/rival or a (insert other thing here) and most demons really don't get why anyone would think those relationships were in competition with one another! they are completely different!
(the main reason Mobei Jun doesn't have any other partners is because he's bad at socializing and gets hives thinking about having to manage the expectations of more than 1 person, but clearly Luo Binghe knows how to at least pretend to be sociable, so what's his excuse?)
end result is probably either Luo Binghe just increasingly extricating himself from that whole "demon emperor" role altogether, or else he bribes moshang into pretending to fill out his other relationship categories and then tells everyone he's courting Liu Qingge but it's taking a while (polyshipping? or just wacky hijinks? you be the judge)