grip me tight and raise me from perdition

sideblog for going absolutely bananas • alyona they/them 24 ⚢ prev. jenderackles!

[butchboromir]

[qwertyfingers]

dean be like yeah i got diagnosed wit ptsd…. PROFICIENT TALENT FOR SUCKING DICK!! and sam would be like dean you have at least 5 distinct diagnoses according to the DSM V and deans like haha dick sucking manual

[googledocsdyke]

i'm having a ball on this bitch!

[casgirl]

my dad and i both lived in the same underground monster hunting bunker and he was gay and i was gay and he killed himself and i became baby god

[asurrogateblog]

jack kerouac went on one gayass road trip and now we have to deal with all of this

[hudbannon-archive-deactivated20]

my friend sent me this

[strangenewgirls]

the fact that they killed henriksen instead of having season after season of him and dean playing some psychosexual cat-and-mouse game is my villain origin story

[anthonyhurd]

He Brings Me Flowers - 18x24” acrylic on canvas. Available.

[deanwinchesterapologist]

[buckskey]

this clip still gives me hives

[yugiohz]

i know this is where fans get antagonistic towards each other depending on which brother they "stan", but i love that it takes sam and dean a very very long time to recognize each other's childhood abuse for what it is, there's such a tragedy in childhood dissonances

[yugiohz]

watching 1x08 and it’s crazyyy to see how Sam rightfully resents their father for being strict and kicking him out but Dean can’t help but defend him because there’s things Sam doesn’t know like wym John regularly checked up on Sam in Stanford oughhh. He’s still going to hell but Dean still watched his dad trying to protect Sam for almost 20 years

[yugiohz]

“John secretly checked on Sam while he studied at standford” and “John doesn’t pick up the phone when Dean needs him and his voicemail redirects people to dean’s phone” dropped in the same episode is so crazy these boys were in the trenches

[sosaysdean]

the monsters in purgatory watching dean fall to his knees and sob while praying to cas

[30-to-50-plastic-spiders]

Why the hell did Cas never pick up Sam or Dean. He should have picked up Sam because I think it would be like when you pick up a big dog and the dog has no idea you could do that nor how to react. He should have picked up Dean because of gay.

[hymaziie]

Dating

[monstermoviedean]

thinking again about how dean was - and i don't use this phrasing lightly - losing his sanity in season 15. justifiably, but still. he was questioning every layer of his reality. and that was not resolved. at all.

[monstermoviedean]

#oh god like he died and he didn’t even know if any of anything was real like #his whole worldview was shook and then they were the only ppl in the universe for a good day or so and then everything went back to normal #AND then he died ?!? #there was like never an answer to any of his questions !!!!

@cinderellarhea thank you for so precisely articulating what's been bothering me about this!!! yeah that's it!!! he didn't know what was real and he was fighting so hard to believe it was real and it mattered, and then chuck took everyone else away, which is a pretty goddamn good argument for "nothing is real." and then they beat chuck and jack fixed everything, right? except chuck crying in the dirt and jack bringing the people back isn't actually evidence of anything. it's definitely not concrete evidence of reality. so even if dean got through all that and decided yes, this is real, they are free, everything is totally fine and cool now...well for one cas didn't come back. dean demanded chuck bring cas back and that never happened. and even if cas had come back, dean died anyway. he died and when he woke up bobby was there in a rocking chair to hand him an el sol and say "everything is great!"

and not saying these arcs were handled well by any means, but sam's "what is real" s7 arc had closure. cas took sam's cage trauma, no more lucifer, no more questioning reality. cas' "what is real" s8 arc had closure. naomi altered cas' reality, metatron killed her, no more questioning reality (ignoring surprise naomi resurrection because i think it's absurd). dean's "what is real" s15 arc ended with chuck alive. and while i'm glad dean didn't kill chuck, it's hard to shut the door on "what is real" when the being who's been manipulating reality is still alive and kicking.

[notevenalittle]

literally! the unresolved nature of dean's crisis of reality haunted me so much that i wrote a fic abt it

[becauseofthebowties]

CASTIEL IN EVERY EPISODE ↳ 4.16 - On the Head of a Pin

[hard--byte]

the hottest thing a guy can be is barely conscious on the floor while someone lifts his head up by the hair so that you can see his glazed out eyes and the blood running down his face