bye tumblr! I’m on twitter https://twitter.com/Hello_Teamo
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
dirt enthusiast
occasionally subtle
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blake kathryn

ellievsbear
i don't do bad sauce passes
RMH

if i look back, i am lost
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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Mike Driver

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Love Begins
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@mizeryi
bye tumblr! I’m on twitter https://twitter.com/Hello_Teamo
PLEASE click through and live through the horror of these real estate pics with me. PLEASE.
i was not prepared for any of this and never wanted the slide show to end
“Only shown on sunny days”
Why do all the ‘beds’ in this house look like coffins with drop cloths over them? Is it only shown on sunny days because that is when the current resident is hibernating? I think this house is owned by a vampire who was turned in early 1960s Las Vegas.
There’s three very distinct types of terrifying in this home.
Wait, so does the car come with the house?? This belongs in the updated version of “Interior Desecrations”.
EVERYTHING comes with it, is my understanding, and I think there are two cars? I mean, the crocheted ceiling room is going to haunt my nightmares, the cars are all kinds of awesome.
Also, the statues in the bedrooms had me going, “Don’t even blink.”
Wait, EVERYTHING comes with it? Oh, that is a whole other level of delight.
Don’t get me wrong, everything about that house decor is unsettling, and why a crocheted ceiling? But I am inexplicably charmed by the all-white, Liberace dream living room. And if nothing else, the previous owners COMMITTED to their aesthetic.
i never thought i would get into the bachelorette but this was the single best thing ive ever seen on television
*boy looking at coin* ees.. nanarro..
[drops coin] HOh
[coin rolls into gutter]
AAAAAAAHHGH
@ivorytrenchcoat
Okay, i feel the need to explain this.
This is a Belgian vid for our public transport and the little dude says “ier, nen euro” which is Dutch dialect for “here a Euro” (which the dude he wanted to give it to needed to pay his parking ticket) he then proceeds to drop the Euro and starts yelling. Afterwards, the screen cuts to them sitting on a bus and the little dude says something along the lines of “this is far easier”
(Note: the little dude is called “Het Stressmannetje” which translates to “Little Man of Stress)
Am I fucking high ??? Or did Dash call Danny a twink????
i am on another plane right now and this video has me convinced that I reached nirvana for a few seconds
the first time i watched this video i was stoned out of my motherfucking MIND and i watched it on loop for 25 minutes
Taste closed
Inspector, if you can’t find the murderer I suggest wrapping this up (yea)
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.
You missed some of the best ones
the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.
How could you forget this one though
I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.
someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?
Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.
These updates are a gift, thank you
@napoleonbrolo sent me this and it changed my life
WHERE THE WILD ROSES GROW Gryphon O'Shea, Riccardo Piane, Abel van Oeveren and Ko Grimmer by Jeff Bark FLAIR ITALIA December 2015
(1) Moschino (2) Dolce&Gabbana, Angels Costume London gorgiera (3) Dolce&Gabbana, What Katie Did corset, Chrome Hearts accessories (4) [left] Angels Costume London, [right] Moschino
Me, prepping to bottom:
I know many of you out there are feeling a bit down. Have a crow to Wouldn’t it be Nice by the Beach Boys to lift your mood.
Handle God 💀💀💀💀
Need the sound for this
okay but did they lie tho…
He looks exactly like a young Steve Buscemi
“There is a copy of the NES game Golf in the firmware of every Switch system”
Me: Oh haha, what a weird thing, probably some remnant from the debugging process -
“Since that was a game that Satoru Iwata programmed himself, this could have been intended as a way of saying that Iwata is spiritually a part of every Switch and is watching over and protecting every system.”
Me:
Oh my God, so hackers have found out the way to enable you to play the game. You know how?
On July 11th*, the date of Iwata’s passing, doing Iwata’s “directly to you” motion with the Joy-Cons on the home screen will play a sound clip of Iwata and launch the game.
(* Before you try this yourself, note that simply changing the date on your system will not work, as this runs off the Switch’s internal internet-synced clock, meaning that changing the date manually will only work if the system has never been connected to the internet)
I… I can’t…
It goes even further than that.
Firstly, opening the game like this person is in the video is only possible with a brand new unit on system version 1.0.0 that has never been connected to the Internet. Because of this, opening it is pretty hard to replicate, unless if you have a completely brand new Switch. So, even if the system’s internal date is on July 11, it still won’t open if the system version is up to date.
The thing is, it’s not supposed to be opened.
The hidden Golf game has been described as an omamori, which, in Japanese culture, is a charm usually bought at shrines that offers spiritual protection and good luck if you keep it close to you. Sometimes they’re made of cloth, and look like a tiny bag, which can contain a written prayer. People often tie them to something like a purse or a backpack, so that it’s always with them. Here are a bunch of different ones:
Omamori are not supposed to be opened, as doing so is said to remove its blessing.
Seeing as the hidden Golf game on the Switch is so difficult to run under normal circumstances, it’s probably not supposed to be opened in the first place. It’s likely meant to represent an omamori in Iwata’s honor. Its very fitting, because of how portable the Switch is, since people are likely to take it with them like they would with an omamori strapped to a purse or backpack.